[CjChris]

Hi, all.

Well, as of 4:30 PM yesterday, FEDEX has every document that is of importance to my OH, my daughters, and me. My ITA package weighed 7 lb (and cost a small fortune to send international express)!!

I should feel an enormous sense of relief, but my OH and I had dinner with friends last night, and one of them spent most of the evening going on and on about our impending move. She kept insisting she wasn't playing devil's advocate, yet ultimately, she made her point: "Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?"

After all the months of stress and hard work putting that ITA together, it just seemed like too much to be put through the paces like that. What's worse, she found out about our plans from another trusted friend who apparently cannot keep a secret.

I just feel wiped out. My OH and I have worked hard--planned, researched, gathered documents, experienced anxiety, you name it. Sitting through that dinner conversation made me feel like I'd just completed a dissertation only to then have it picked apart. :mad: I guess we should get used to people hammering us with questions.

[speckythecky]

good luck with the ita submission. It is scary to think that your whole life, or at least every important document concerning your life is no longer in your control and that it only weighs 7lbs.

Some friend you had dinner with last night. It may just be concern or the thought that they are loosing a friend but it is not the support that you need at this time, although if you had told them to their face rather than they find out through another it might have been easy.

I may just have been curiousity on her part but you haven't lost your mind, as you have said your have planned, researched, gathered documents etc you have probably spent lots of money so it is not something that you have entered into lightly.

Just go for it, hopefully she will come round, if not, then she wasn't much of a friend anyway.

[Belmont Babes]

Who need friends like that? Have you considered thay could be a little envious? You have done all of the hard work and research so just ignore and focus on what made you start the progress in the first place. Good luck with all the future may hold. :nice1

[Helsandfamily]

Poor You,

We submitted our ITA last week ( Still haven't told friends or family) and it felt like a momentous moment. To have that "rubbished" by friends must feel dreadful. :roll

[marcia]

Its a huge thing that everyone on here, is considering?has done, and for some people its just too hard to get their heads around it.

Perhaps your friend was in shock, maybe a little jealous that you are brave enough to do it. Whatever I'm sure they will come around in time and support you through the next few months, if they won't, then turn to your cyber friends on here - who really do understand and WILL be here to help! :nice1

[suebeenz]

I've had a somewhat similar experience of having to prove/explain that NZ was worth it.

When asked, "So, you must really find the people friendly here, right?"

"No, not really." (Older kiwis seem very friendly to me, but not so with younger kiwis - reserved and unwelcoming)

"Well so you must really love the climate here then."

"No, actually it gets pretty cold. And the cheaply made houses make it feel even colder."

"Oh, then you must really like outdoors here."

"Well, yeah i guess, but I don't have much time to go enjoy them."

".... Why do you want to live here again?"


Now, don't want the above to cause concern to anyone, because I'm sure most won't agree with what I've written. (please don't flame me :laugh ). I'm sure you'll love living here. I do, but apparently I can't seem to explain why. :D

[CjChris]

Thanks, everyone, for your messages of support! I do feel better now. I'm still annoyed by the whole thing, but SHE doesn't deserve the right to rain on my parade ever again. As far as I'm concerned, she took herself down a few notches on the respect scale, and I am fully comfortable keeping her out of the loop from here on out.

I was thinking about how other friends (who either heard it from the leak or will hear it from us) may do something similar--it's hard to know what to expect; however, why is it that some people know how to respect another's decision and inquire tastefully, yet others rudely interrogate and interject their own responses while the other answers??? :mad:

Thankfully, when my OH told his family this week (they are all in the midwest) they were all very happy, supportive, and curious. None of them were rude or said we are crazy! They tactfully asked about our purpose for moving, what that meant regarding seeing us at holidays, etc., but ultimately they are so thrilled that we have chosen to spend our life together as a family. Period. That's how it should be! :yes

I'll tell my family in a couple weeks. As for other "friends" here, we are trying so hard to keep things under wraps a bit longer because of our jobs. I never realized that a city of 100,000 could seem like such a small town!

[zardell]

Well all I can say is that yes, we must 'be crazy' too and yes, maybe we have 'lost our minds' as well, but we are enjoying every minute of it !!

Come on in.......the waters lovely......:laugh

Julie

xx

[Carol]

Have you considered thay could be a little envious? :nice1



Oh yes - I think that is SO correct.

Good on you guys.
The world is about to become your oyster.

Just a small point - your "life's work" is yourselves and your kids.
Your attitudes, determination, loves and respects.
Nothing much to do with a 7lb parcel at all really.

;)

[Carol]

I never realized that a city of 100,000 could seem like such a small town!


Will you be heading to Wellington?
;) ;)
You aint seen nothing yet!:laugh

[Nathan]

A big part of the answer is 'yes, we are crazy'.... Crazy from running a rat race that doesn't give us time to do the important stuff. Like watching the squirrels in the woods behind the house, or the grouse that wandered up a couple days ago, or checking to see if the turtle has come out from under the walk for the summer. And time to sit together on the porch swing and enjoy a glass of wine, the sunset, and being close.

As for my family, they've known I'm crazy for a long time. They don't need to ask the question anymore!! :)