[Kieran]

Nikki and I are moving to Auckland subject to the blue stickers in Sept 07.
We are 40 and 44 with 2 kids 6 and 4.
Now, when I get there, I want to enjoy the move. We are very sociable, down to earth and up for a good laugh and more than a few beers. We are looking forward to the move BUT...
We keep seeing posters saying that they haven,t made friends, they are lonely and looking for advice on how to make friends. Now I am not about to march down to my local church, sing in a choir, join a book club, start flower arranging or become a morris dancer. No offence, but we are not that way inclined. We are normal joes who work hard and go ut with our friends at the weekend, have a drink and a curry etc.
Simply speaking, are there not enough Brits out there and on this forum that are approachable and happy to mix and make an effort. How can this army of brits living over there be soooo short of friends. Alternatively, are the Kiwis so antisocial that you cannot go to a pub and just chat.
I want this move to be a happy time. Fine, great beaches, views etc, but if you are basically isolated from your own kind and the locals what price to pay.
I would like to hear the view from those who have made the move and making the most of the social and family life.
Alternatively, can anyone teach me and the missus to crochet!!!!!!!

[Sam'n'Kelv]

The following may be helpful: http://www.infostormpublishing.com/ebooks/?bk=30 :exit

[Kieran]

Thanks Sam and Klev for your assistance with the crocheting. Obviously that is the road you too may have to follow.
We live in Bournemouth, a beautiful area, but its the politics of this country that we are peed off with. Not much point going to NZ and finding out your on your own.
All those moved over to NZ dont appear generally to put themselves out to get together and ease the social problem.
Please tell me I am wrong and that the worrying suggestions on meeting people are not needed. ie book clubs, church, poetry reading..please.
Where are you guys off to.
Kieran

[the wilson's]

Hi Kieran and family
I'm karen. My family (craig,lisa and regan) are off to Auckland as soon as immigration lets us. We are abit like you guys. My husband likes a beer after work and a takeway at the weekend with some friends. My only worry at the moment is can we afford to stay in NZ. Sometimes when you read these threads you panic. Stories from people coming back because they just can't survive. We aren't planning to return to the UK after all this we plan to stay in NZ so the desicion has to be the right one. Anyway we will need friends to so keep us posted

Karen:)

[Jezza]

All those moved over to NZ dont appear generally to put themselves out to get together and ease the social problem.

It's pretty normal for people moving to a new country to find it hard to make friends at first - I've now lived in 19 countries (due to my job) and have seen this in many instances. One of the best ways is to find people with similar interests, be that crocheting, knitting your own yoghurt, cycling or just propping up the bar.

Be sure to let us know how you get on once you've actually made the move. Bear in mind the reason people post what they do is that it's not always plain sailing.

[Kieran]

Karen and family, will keep you posted. We definitely want to make the effort and get a good social life on the go asap. Sometimes just by saying you like a good beer and laugh, you are worried that you are viewed as some kind of lush dependant on the demon booze.
I want to settle in asap and make friends with ex pats and kiwis alike. I think this forum needs to find a bar in whatever town, that we know on a fri sat you will meet some brits, so as to ease you in.
Jezza, I know its not easy, but it doesn't have to be difficult either. Some of the posts here are vergeing on the point of desperation in finding friends. Possibly they had the same problem in Uk.
Cant see us propping up the bar, just a regular couple who enjoy a weekend drink and good humour, a bbq and the will to live.
Please all those easy going pubbers, unite.
Cheers
Kieran

[Sam'n'Kelv]

Hi

We're heading for the Auckland area and will be arriving early July. We've already sussed out some of the local clubs. The following looks very promising: http://knitting.meetup.com/1158/?gj=sj7 :yes Just joking, honestly.

To be honest, most of the kiwis I've ever met have been well up for a drink and chat - especially after work on a Friday. Mind you, so have all the Germans, French, Americans and Japanese. My view is that if you're naturally gregarious and in an environment with a lot of people, then making friends is easy. It's not so easy if you're socially awkward and living on a plot in the middle of Fiordland. Some people do find it more difficult to make friends - due to circumstance or character - but it's not a disease.

We're going out with the view that we'll make friends in good time, but it's not something you can rush or force. The idea of a bar, where everyone can meet up on a Friday sounds like a great idea, but it could be a bit depressing if you're the only one who turns up! There are quite a few 'meets' organised on the forum where people from the same area get together. Perhaps we could all get one sorted out for sometime in September?

[Jezza]

Sometimes just by saying you like a good beer and laugh, you are worried that you are viewed as some kind of lush dependant on the demon booze.

Ah, well you see the reason I picked up on that is because I don't drink. Do you have any idea how boring it is to sit in a pub and not drink? It's boring... you just watch all the drunks and think 'why?' :laugh . No soft drink is so good you'd want more than a couple, so I don't go to pubs, personally.

As a result the people I socialise with tend to have similar interests to me - rebuilding old cars, cycling, tramping, mountaineering, photography, ambient music etc. I reckon a lot of people who get dependent on socialising in one particular way, whether it be their local church, or the other mums from school, or the other people down the pub, find that they lose their bearings when that environment changes.

Mine's a small green tea please :nice1

[Kieran]

Thanks to those who are prepared to improve the status quo and help those making the move to maintain or improve their social life in NZ. I think a named pub could catch on. You take your chance that brits will make it their regular. Less hassel than contstantly making formal arrangements on the forum for weeks in advance.
Jezza, it is apparent that you are of the opinion that those that drink are
falling all over the place, incoherent and taking rubbish....and your right.
(only joking jezza)
I play golf, sail, am a jive dance instructor part time, and go to the gym. However, I dont necessarily hit it off with people with the same interests.
If Jezza wants to ponitificate with Kevin on a Friday night about whether the sprongle overhead doofer was better on the Mk4 Allegro than the Skoda Mk1,
then thats your bag. I am looking for average joe that enjoys going out into those dens of inequity and talking sensible for the 1st 2 hrs, then rubbish thereafter. Then in the morning, get up and golf sail etc.
See you boozers on the other side I hope. Jezza having lived in 19 countries I am not surprised you find it hard to make friends. I expect by the time you unpack your bag its time to move. Perhaps make friends with airport staff.
Cheers
Kieran.

[Kieran]

forgive the spelling mistakes and typos, just statrted on the wine and too lazy to read before submitted.

[Jezza]

Jezza having lived in 19 countries I am not surprised you find it hard to make friends.

I don't. I just don't confuse friends with drinking buddys. ;)

[Sam'n'Kelv]

talking sensible for the 1st 2 hrs, then rubbish thereafter.
Kieran.

Kieran, the only excuse for your post (at first patronising, and now insulting) is that you're two hours into a session already. :roll

[gil]

Kieran,

You might like this chain of English-style pubs http://www.cockandbull.co.nz/

Personally, I think part of the reason you have not had many takers on here is that many people don't move here just to replicate the English lifestyle in their new country.

Plus you have rather weighed in with your judgements regarding how those already here are coping/struggling with the complex issues around work/new homes/schools/transport/social integration. Perhaps a litle more humility as a newcomer might ease you into any new circles a little more smoothly? ;)

Good luck with the move. Where in Auckland are you thinking of?

Gil

[kanatakiwi]

I find Kiwis VERY friendly but only if you allow them to be. My brother visiting Auckland from Canada is not much of a drinker but he went up to the local RSA (Returned Service Association) and nearly every single person came up to talk to him, and wanted his life story. He in turn got to hear theirs. I find its the same at beaches, walking trails, the doctors, the supermarket etc etc. We Canadians are somewhat more reserved, and I find it a bit disconcerting sometimes. I think what people who immigrate here are missing, is that "best friend" kind of person that you can feel totally relaxed with, share a lot of personal stories, and you can laugh and share a joke without being slightly on edge as to whether you might have offended someone. Not that Kiwis are easily offended, but its great to have a friend from home, who you can share your stories about all the weird and wonderful things that go on in this country! (like putting soy sauce in burritos..whats up with that??!!:roll

[Tia Maria]

Kieran,

My best suggestion is that you keep an eye on the Meets forum and post one yourself. Probably for a regular meet of newbies to work you would have to guarantee to be there, but it sounds like you'd quite enjoy that!:D

I personally don't think there is much of a pub culture in NZ, have you been to NZ before? We have quite a popular pub near us, but I have been in it on a Saturday night and its been empty! There are a few bars in the city centre near the viaduct, but not really the kind of 'locals' pub I think you are searching for.

Which area of Auckland are you moving to? You have to also remember Auckland is a big place, so to have a 'named' pub you will have to find somewhere lots of people can get to on a regular basis without driving.

Forum meets also tend to be irregular as some of us are newbies - busy with job hunting and house hunting and some of us have been here for a while and already have established social lives.

As for your concerns over making friends, I guess the simple answer is 'how did you make friends in the UK?', if you answer through work and at the school gate etc, then I'm sure you'll have no problem. Many work places organise drinks after work on Friday. And when parents can organise babysitters I find they are more than willing to go out. :nice1

I'm not sure why you have a problem with those that do struggle, there will always be people in the world that find things harder than you, there will always be people who find things easier. You may also find that if you do arrange a Meet that all those that do struggle or have hobbies will think they are not welcome.

I think also people will post about how its difficult to meet people because they are looking for support and ideas. However, those that find it easy to meet people don't need to post, if you see what I'm saying. Maybe read through some of the 'been here 6months/2 years posts' and I'm sure you'll find lots of references to people enjoying the social side of NZ!

Cheers

Tia

[Sam B]

I don't think it's any harder to make friends here than anywhere else, but the fact is, it's quite hard to make real friends anywhere at first - not just people you say hello to or drink with or know from a club etc, but real, proper friends who you feel an affinity with and look forward to seeing and catching up with. Maybe this is more of a female issue? I think on the whole women make friends differently to men?

I already know a number of people after 2 months, and many of them are very nice, but I'm really struggling to meet people in the same local area as me who I really want to be friends with, or who will fir the same role as those I left behind. I think part of the problem is, that at the heart of it I'm a city type girl, but I like to live in the country, and it's hard to find things in common with the people around me.

I'm not socially inept, I don't think so anyway(!) but I also want to have friends who I can connect with.... Does that make sense?

[Tia Maria]

I've just spotted this thread has been posted in 'Moving Away', for those leaving New Zealand. I'm not sure if that was your intention, maybe it would reach more of the people you want to meet up with on a different board?

Just a thought ......

Cheers

Tia

[westies]

Hi There
A worry for us all at some point re making new friends etc, etc.
We have been here just over 12 months and have lots of great friends, Both Brits and Kiwis (the majority), once the kids start school, you will meet lots of people for sure, we are living in Auckland and have found it to be a really friendly place, and we havent made it to any of the forum meets either!!!!

If you enjoy socialising you will find it great fun here in Auckland, we certainly have!

Good Luck with the move
Tracey

[thepiesleys]

We are normal joes who work hard and go ut with our friends at the weekend, have a drink and a curry etc.

Keiran - I think you are going to be disapointed. My wife and I, Sue, have a similar ethos regards socialising. We love the pub but it seems the majority of Kiwis don't. It is all rather odd to be honest as there are a few pubs near us in East Auckland but the vast majority of the time they are empty after 9.00pm. People just dont seem to socialise in pubs, there is no pub culture as we know it in the UK. People do socialise at each others houses, bring a crate and a plate, BBQ that sort of thing. You really have to believe me - the pubs are quiet and they are nothing, and I mean NOTHING like the pubs you are used to. That does not mean they are always empty - the cock and bull in Botany is jumping on a Friday and saturday night but if your past thirty forget it, it's full of kids getting lashed, not just getting nicely toasted and talking rubbish to your friends.

We have been here five months and we have found one pub we quiet like - the beer is good, but it is, at the end of the day, a restaurant that attracts some younger customers on a thursday and friday night who like a drink.

One other thing though that I can't get me head round - some of the pubs are all open till 3.00am but they are empty, and I mean empty. Sue and I and some mates over from the UK went in one at 2.00am and it was completly empty bar the bargirl and the doorman. Very odd.

Oh and one other thing - for a pint in some pubs you can buy six bottles of beer in the supermarket.

Let us know were you plan on going - I would be keen to show you this first hand as I can't get me head round it.

dan

[Familyofmonkeys]

personally, other than a swift beer after work very occasionally, I'm not much of a pub person. I'd rather be either out and about, or at home with my family, or 'round a mate's place.

So basically, this last post sells NZ even more to me...


Two weeks 'til flights...

[thepiesleys]

Family of monkeys - your gonna love it....

Keiran - one other thing that occoured to me...I'm not being antagonistic here just pointing something out. You mention that there should be a pub that all ex pats should use. Auckland is a massive city, I have been told its the second largest city in the world for actual land mass behind LA, so imagine a pub in Barnet, then asking some one in Croydon to go drinking there. it aint gonna happen.

Regards

Dan

[katandbob]

I wasn't going to bother posting on this thread since I live at the other end of the country...But I don't know if its the booze talking, but your attitude won't get many offers of a night out from what I have just read.

There is a totally different section where meets and get-togethers are organised both over in the UK and in NZ (and other countrys as well? haven't looked their that much lately as we are the only person down here as far as I know!)

and Gil is right - most go over to peoples houses - go shooting/fishing etc/hang with their families etc - I mean what are you going to do with your children??? while you go clubbing?

I expect some parts of Auckland will be Jumping, some others won't - it was the same on the pub front at home, I have been out a few times in Ingil, and to be honest it was the same as being at home - having to wait in line to get in(the bouncers were strict) if your too drunk - YOU DONT GET IN!
The place on the whole was busybut there were a few that were sparce at first -most kids come out late - after drinking a keg at a mates- but then we only have one central nightclub area, so its easy to go to one place - head for another then choose one to end up in before they close entry..... and they have courtesy transport to take you home! in the Resturant type pubs:clap

Hopefully Gil's suggestions will help you when you get over and her observations too may help you understand - BUT it is hard to judge people from Text - so don't start replying with missunderstood view - or you will just end up taking your thread off course.

Kieran,

You might like this chain of English-style pubs http://www.cockandbull.co.nz/

Personally, I think part of the reason you have not had many takers on here is that many people don't move here just to replicate the English lifestyle in their new country.

Plus you have rather weighed in with your judgements regarding how those already here are coping/struggling with the complex issues around work/new homes/schools/transport/social integration. Perhaps a litle more humility as a newcomer might ease you into any new circles a little more smoothly? ;)

Good luck with the move. Where in Auckland are you thinking of?

Gil

Yes the pubs do tend to be full of people who are at Uni/no children - as are most pubs/clubs - I mean its not good if you have kids and you spend each weekend getting smashed/ rocking the night away?

And Dans comment about the price of beers is correct - I have been out with Kiwis - we went for a BBQ to their place - till 12.30 - then the younger member stayed and babysat as the host had young children - and we all went into town for a night of dancing - drinking as least as possible - or asking for water - which MUST be supplied - since 2 were designated drivers!

Keiran - I think you are going to be disapointed.

People do socialise at each others houses, bring a crate and a plate, BBQ that sort of thing. You really have to believe me - the pubs are quiet and they are nothing, and I mean NOTHING like the pubs you are used to. That does not mean they are always empty - the cock and bull in Botany is jumping on a Friday and saturday night but if your past thirty forget it, it's full of kids getting lashed, not just getting nicely toasted and talking rubbish to your friends.

One other thing though that I can't get me head round - some of the pubs are all open till 3.00am but they are empty, and I mean empty. Sue and I and some mates over from the UK went in one at 2.00am and it was completly empty bar the bargirl and the doorman. Very odd.

Oh and one other thing - for a pint in some pubs you can buy six bottles of beer in the supermarket.


dan

Any way - hopefully it was the booze that gave this thread a wrong tone and you hopefully get invited to meet some of the loverly Aucklanders which I had the pleasure of knowing both over in the UK and when we arrived - MarieP was our gratious host for the time we were there - and my home is always open to her!

Kat

[Moorf]

This is one of the most friendly and sociable forums I know of :yes, get involved and you'll see just how much :nice1

[Marie P]

[QUOTE=katandbob;




Any way - hopefully it was the booze that gave this thread a wrong tone and you hopefully get invited to meet some of the loverly Aucklanders which I had the pleasure of knowing both over in the UK and when we arrived - MarieP was our gratious host for the time we were there - and my home is always open to her!

Kat[/QUOTE]

Awwww Thank you kat ,it was wonderful having you two stay with us .

It is a lovely friendly forum ,We have just had a lovely few hours in the company of Caroline & Dave and Sam B & Justin .

Marie x

[katandbob]

Awwww Thank you kat ,it was wonderful having you two stay with us .

It is a lovely friendly forum ,We have just had a lovely few hours in the company of Caroline & Dave and Sam B & Justin .

Marie x

See - friendly forum thats us!:cheers

Nice to see your having a social life as well as sorting out your house.

We will have to catch up some night soon.

Kat:)

[Sam B]

Thank Marie, it was lovely to see you again. Look forward to the girlies' night.

[willsken]

personally, other than a swift beer after work very occasionally, I'm not much of a pub person. I'd rather be either out and about, or at home with my family, or 'round a mate's place.

So basically, this last post sells NZ even more to me...


Two weeks 'til flights...


Couldn't have put it better! Never have been able to get my head round pub culture, even in the UK. Quick drink now and again or out to celebrate a birthday but that's it. Why pay such extortionate prices when you can go round friends with a crate of beer to enjoy lovely company and a good laugh.

[thepiesleys]

I love the pub and I miss it a lot. Pubs are a great place to meet friends but also to meet other people, i've made some cracking friends from my two locals back in the UK. Now I'm talking about proper pubs here. Not plastic, air of menacing violence, themed pubs like Lloyds N01 or weatherspoons. We were lucky enough to have two pubs on our doorstep that were both camara midlands pubs of the year and a social club that had won the national club of the year five years on the trot. Never saw an ounce of trouble in any of these places and the ale was absolutly gorgeous. I throughly enjoyed going down to the pub, having a few pints and sitting round a table talking with like minded people.

I played rugby last saturday and found something similar - the rugby club. Great. Played a game and went into the clubhouse after and talked rugby, soccer, imigration, pubs, NZ life all night and the kids don't get short shrift either. There welcome. Mind I had to be poured into a car to get home - got into a right old state. Brilliant.