New Zealand - Question for those of you with young children who have made the move

Tentun

15th April 2007, 05:40 AM

veronica

15th April 2007, 08:29 AM

As far as I can see if you love your kids then where ever you are is home to them. I am not one of those parents who think that education is the be all and end all of a kids life, and personally think that a child will perhaps benefit from changes. Children who make no changes may find it harder as adults to accept change, travel and changes broaden peoples perspectives.

leachio

15th April 2007, 09:01 AM

Hi K,

I agree with what Veronica says, as long as u are there to shower him with love he will be just fine! Kids adapt to new situations much easier than adults. We move to NZ 3wks ago with a 3yr old and a 10mth old, I was more worried that our 3yr old would want to go to nana's every day but to be fair he's only mentioned her twice. Him and his sister could be in Timbucktoo they dont mind. He has been a bit poorly, croup, ear & throat infections but they were sorted out quickly by a GP, and Ive been informed that all of our immune systems will take time to adjust to the change in environment etc and although its not pleasant we are so far happy we have made the move. Its perfectly normal for you to want ur little one to be happy and I would recommend you enjoy the journey & new experiences together. Have a look at our blog and see the kids, they look pretty happy to me :yes

Take care Amanda

nippa&pippa

15th April 2007, 09:01 AM

Hi everyone

Question for those of you who have made the move with young children.

Our little boy is 18 months and I've said to myself since he was born that I didn't want to move him around from school to school and from country to country as I want him to be as settled and as stable as possible and we're trying to make the move to NZ before he needs to start school so there will be as little disruption to his life as possible.

What I would like to know is - from those of you who have done it. Was it easy for young kids to adjust (ie under 5 years old). Did it make them unsettled and anxious at all.

And . . if you had to do it all again knowing what you know now - would you?

I guess I'm just a paranoid mother but my little boy is my WHOLE world and he is so happy and healthy and perfect in every way and I guess I have this obsession that moving him to another country is going to do him some deep-seated emotional damage. Ok, I know I'm over exaggerating a wee bit - but I do worry about him and want him to have the happiest childhood possible with as little disruption as we can manage.

Thanks
K

My son was just 3 and my daughter was 9months old when we moved to NZ last october, mainly because we want my son to be out of UK before he start school at 4.
My daughter was ok with move and everything as she is just young baby, so she just go with flow.
My son, he did had bit of up and down as he is fully aware what is going on but too young to understood the different of where is NZ and UK is to explain that he can't 'visit' granny and grandad at first, now we been here for 6months and he have now adapt to NZ lifestyle. He love his new kindergarten, playgroup and clubs.
As long as you and your OH try be yourself and calm, your child will be ok. Just remember very young children can pick up your feeling! so relax! (I know it is not easy!!) and try explain much as you can about where are you going? like we are going to airport to fly the plane etc in basic language that he at 18months can understood as you going into airport etc. This work well with our son.

nicaukids

15th April 2007, 09:06 AM

Hi K
We have 3 kids, 10, 7 & 1... the older 2 have moved around quite a bit so far... Essex, Bucks, Lived with Grandparents in France, Northants., Bucks... Next stop NZ :exit (Maybe!)
I think it depends on parents state of mind - we always look on a move as an adventure and cope with the negatives too.
Oldest is the most popular in his class.... middle child is just plain cheeky (but has a good group of friends and peers).
Whatever you decide... put a positive spin on it and I'm sure all will be well.
Good Luck X

Nienke

15th April 2007, 09:32 AM

My son was 3 years old when we moved to New Zealand last year. He adapted just fine, even though he had to put in the extra effort of learning a different language.
As long as the parents are there to provide a stable and loving home, I don't think it matters much where you live!
I do believe though that the older the kids are the more difficult it can be. I've seen it with other families here where some (not all!) children have a few problems adapting to the new situation. And I've been there myself, when my parents moved country when I was twelve, I had a tough time then!

willowshouse

15th April 2007, 03:04 PM

Kids see things very differently to adults .. he will have no idea of all the traumas you are putting yourself through, wherever you settle will just be 'home' to him.

Your son is so young I'm not sure this is relevant but anyway ... I found it helpful to be 'laid-back' about the move to my youngest .. both when she was 3 and 6. Tackling questions like "When are we going back home" with a reply along the lines of "As long as we're happy to stay here then we'll stay". Prepare yourself for the difficult questions .. I don't mean rehearse an answer, just take it as it comes .. but be prepared that they will ask them and it just might feel like a little kick in the guts when they do! The first time mine said they wanted to see Nanna was a difficult one for me but if you're honest without being dramatic it's the best way to be. I said I wanted to see her too .. but never mind, won't it be great when she comes to visit us.

Don't put yourself through the ringer .. you'll all be fine!!

Tentun

15th April 2007, 10:07 PM

Thank you so much for all your posts, they have all been really positive and I am feeling better about the move now.

I'm going to focus on the adventure side of things from now on.

olivia

24th April 2007, 03:55 PM

We moved to NZ in Dec 06 and our son Isaac was 2 in the easter hols. I too was worried about uprooting him but he took everything in his stride and is as happy and carefree as ever.
I love the fact that there is so much to do with your kids here (at any age) and also that you aren't frowned upon when you take your child out with you. Last week we went out for dinner to the brewhouse in rangiora with Isaac and he was made very welcome, they even offered to go and find him some toys and at the weekend we went for a coffee to the station cafe and we sat in the garden where Isaac had a wendy house, sandpit, trikes and loads of toys to play with, so we could relax at the same time as him enjoying himself.
But so far the best thing we've discovered is the local playcentre. The one in Rangiora is great. It's really cheap (Isaac goes 2 mornings a week for 2.5 hours each session and that costs $40 for a 10 week term. It's also much better organised than any of the mums & toddler groups we went to in england. At the moment i am staying with him during the sessions but soon i will be able to leave him there and have some valuable time for myself (for cleaning etc!)
Obviously, these are just my experiences and things may vary across New Zealand but so far we haven't regretted moving him half way around the world.

Olivia

Lupin

24th April 2007, 07:55 PM

We took our oldest backpacking for 10 months when she was three and she has moved around a lot. Children look to their parents for their stability so, so long as he has that from you both, he'll be grand.

andrewandjane

24th April 2007, 08:30 PM

weve been here 5 weeks the kids love it dylan (6) started school today and was fine, max (2/nearly 3) settled in fine too. we were worried about moving them but its just been a big adventure so far and theyre both really happy, so wouldnt worry too much!

Lisa&Andy

26th April 2007, 06:38 AM

Hi everyone

Question for those of you who have made the move with young children.

Our little boy is 18 months and I've said to myself since he was born that I didn't want to move him around from school to school and from country to country as I want him to be as settled and as stable as possible and we're trying to make the move to NZ before he needs to start school so there will be as little disruption to his life as possible.

What I would like to know is - from those of you who have done it. Was it easy for young kids to adjust (ie under 5 years old). Did it make them unsettled and anxious at all.

And . . if you had to do it all again knowing what you know now - would you?

I guess I'm just a paranoid mother but my little boy is my WHOLE world and he is so happy and healthy and perfect in every way and I guess I have this obsession that moving him to another country is going to do him some deep-seated emotional damage. Ok, I know I'm over exaggerating a wee bit - but I do worry about him and want him to have the happiest childhood possible with as little disruption as we can manage.

Thanks
K

Hi
I can't help much with your question but I wanted to say that I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. We only have one wee one aged three. We feel a bit worried about the move from time to time and then we try to think of the opportunities he will have, travel, see new places, meet new friends. Also to give him better opportunities to be a child for longer in a country driven by the outdoors and education system not so exam/result driven. (and I am a teacher!)
I do think as long as your wee one has his own wee family around him that is his stability and all he needs :yes
I agree with you that the comments from others on this forum are very reassuring and communicating with your wee one at every stage is very good. We have started preparing ours for our big adventure holiday to NZ in July for a month.

Lisa x

westies

30th April 2007, 12:00 PM

Kids adapt so easily, it is usually the parents with the worries. Our girls age 3 & 8 when we arrived have never looked back, no problems what so ever.
Tracey

jackie m

30th April 2007, 12:11 PM

Hi

Like everyone else our 2 have settled in very well, Miss 5 started school in February & has loads of friends,even has sleep overs !! she says she is a kiwi already so think that tells us happy she is here. Master 2 is at home with me but we do so much together trips to the farm & beach etc never would have happened in the UK as I worked. Now a full time mum & loving it :D. So I definately don't think you have anything to worry about. My two have a web cam chat or 2 with the grandparents during the week which I think helps too.(more for the grandparents;) )
Jackie x

shakyle2906

2nd May 2007, 03:06 PM

Hi

We have been here 3 weeks today and have a 4.5yr old.

I have to say he has been brilliant, great on plane and although needs a lot of attention at mo as he is finding kindy not 'challenging' enough, he has adapted really well.

I worried also, as he was with my parents in law before and after school, saw them on weekends, etc, and i am finding he hasnt mentioned them much at all!

Dont worry, i think they adapt quicker than us in some ways, he says 'i want to stay in NZ forever'!! As the others say, as long as you are there for them and they know that, they will be fine!!

Best of luck, PM me if i can be of any further help. Also set up a blogspot www.ournewlifeinnz.blogspot.com

Sharon
xx

annie abercrombie

6th May 2007, 08:26 PM

Hi there
We had an 18m old boy and 7 y old girl when we arrived 2 years ago. He adjusted a lot better than my daughter. He has become a Kiwi - skidding down sand dunes, playing rugby, never wanting to wear shoes. I have watched him grow into a real social little man - this is in spite of the fact that I went though a number of options with childcare - playcentre, and two private kindies and a whole year where he didn't go anywhere because I thought he needed to be just with me all the time.

Your little man will be fine - don't worry at all on that score. It will be you who has more problems adjusting I expect!

All the best