[Tia Maria]

Prompted by another thread I thought I might start this thread for some of our children to post how they feel:

As my children can't type I asked them:

How did you feel about emigrating?

"I don't remember it was a long time ago" by my 3year old (it was 14 months ago)

"The plane was cool because they gave us chocolate and they had a climbing frame at the airport" by my 5 year old.

What do you miss about the UK?

"Nanny" by my 3 year old

"Nothing" by my 5 year old

What do you like best about NZ?

"Getting cuddles from you and playing swingball" by my 3 year old

"Kelly Tarltons and having all my new friends come to my new house" by my 5 year old.

Cheers :)

Tia

[StevieD]

Good post Tia, I think this is going to be one of those busy ones.... :)

[uk_munros]

Anyone got comments from older children - maybe about 10 yrs old?

Am thinking this is going to be one of those superbusy threads.

[Sam B]

How did you feel about emigrating?

10 year old - "Excited, I mean it's good to try new experiences. I was a little scared about starting a new school. I could have got bullied or not make any friends."

6 year old - "Before we went to the airyport and everything I felt fine, but then when we got to the airyport I felt scared. It's scary to actually move from a place where you've been for lots of time. And it's scary to be in a plane for 2 days as well."

What do you miss about the UK?
10 year old - "I miss our old home, and having a big garden and living in the countryside. I rather miss a few birds in England, like you can never see a robin here."

6 year old - "I miss my house, my friends and some of the birds. I miss the rest of my family"

What do you like best about NZ?

10 year old - "I like all the new birds, the playground at school, how all the children are well-behaved and friendly here. I like all the beautiful scenic places here - like crystal pool, and all the volcanic stuff too. And all the work at school is much better, better to learn, less boring. I always know what to do."

6 year old - "I like the birds, the playground, the school, I like the way they do Trade me here (!), I like the Deli on the Corner because of the fluffies and the breakfast."

[Belmont Babes]

What a great start. Can't wait until tonight to get opinions of my two.

[colandros]

anyone got a 16 year old boy?
i would be interested to hear their opinions on nz and how they felt about the move.
my eldest is 16 and isnt too keen at the moment.
can anyone out there give me something that i can use to convince him things will be ok.

[Belmont Babes]

England playing Football (sorry soccer), took up the evening for my two. Will be back tomorrow

[uk_munros]

Comments from our 10 going on 11 yr old - and we have yet to leave the UK!

"

:mad: At the start, when my parents first said we were moving, I was really upset and angry. I thought I was fine here and had heaps of friends. I told them it wasn't fair because the majority of my friends were all going to the same secondry school and would be able to stick together for another 5 years. Mum told me, 'You'll miss your old friends but it's not like you won't make new friends.':cheers I felt a lot better when I read some quotes from girls my age who moved to Nelson - as are we. They really enjoyed NZ and fitted in really well. Mum and Dad also showed me some houses; they were all a lot better than the ones in England where I live and a lot newer and bigger. It seems extremely hard to find a modern type of house in England. The schools here seem not so nice either, especially now I've just finished my SATs test at the age of 10.
:mad:My whole family agree that I am too young to do such pressured tests at my age. In NZ, they never do tests until your in Year 9, I've heard. I am really looking forward to moving now."
:exit

We're going to be in Nelson - anyone else live there?

[katandbob]

When I moved to New Zealand I lost all of my friends, since i'm not a very emotional person it didn't really bother me all that much

It will probably be easier to get qualified etc. here and if I would of stayed in England my friends would of been a distraction and I would of ended up wasting alot of time like most of my old friends are doing

I get bored alot here since I don't go out, but I don't have much free time to go out so it doesn't bother me that much

The other kids at college use stupid sayings and slang, the accents are also irritating the people are less violent then in my old town though

Though I didn't really enjoy moving, I was bound to end up moving at some point in my life.. and its better I grow up sooner then later.

And living where I do the internet connections are too bad to play MMO's if you were into that.

(The above is from my 16 yr old son)

The 18yr old went back to the UK after 5 mths.

sorry its not that much help in convincing your son, but I told him to be truthful - I think the older they are the harder it is to fit in...

Good Luck

Kat

[mossum]

Keep them comming please !!!

My step son is due to arrive in 7 weeks - hes 15 1/2 - this is the big "sell NZ trip " We are trying to convince his Mum & her new family that NZ is great - they were considering OZ , but I think the paperwork overwhelmed them .

vic x

[Lupin]

That was interesting from your son Kat. He seems quite mature for his age and handling the negative aspects of the move in a mature manner, good for him :)

[Angelonthemove]

My parents moved us to another part of the UK 1/2hr away and we hated it at first. In fact all 3 of us left one lunch time from school and appeared on the doorstep. My parents were mortified aged 12 13 14.

We then went back to our old school 3 months later for a visit and realised how badly behaved they all seem compared to our new school, we soon settled in then.

That was some 30 odd years ago, I hope all your precious little adults settle in. My daughter chose to not come with us at 19 yrs old. they grow up fast.

[willsken]

Tom answered this first he's 10.

How did you feel about emigrating?

At first I felt quite sad as I was leaving my friends but when I found out that my best friend was coming to New Zealand as well I felt a BIT better about going.

What do you miss about the UK?

My friends and family. Cheap sweets. The TV. I miss some of the food.

What do you like best about NZ?

How nice the people are to you. My friends are nicer than some of the ones in the UK. The amount of clubs I go to. The weather. :):exit



Then Matt gave his answers he is 13.

How did you feel about emigrating?

Scared about starting all over again, I really didn't want to go at the time, but now I'm here I'm very glad we came.

What do you miss about the UK?

My best mate and friends and family. Knowing the place well, but that will come in time.

What do you like best about NZ?

The amount of clubs and things to do after school and in your free time, the only days I’m not doing anything are Fridays and Sundays. The weather is MUCH nicer. The people are really nice. The amount of sport played is unbelievable

[Love_Peace]

Im 16 and didn't immigrate but was very close and seriously considering it.
When researching schools I was a little disapointed because of the small variety of schools that were offered. I felt like all of them were either girls only or boys only schools, had uniforms, and the same rules (ex. "girls cannot have their hair down.") Living in the United States, most schools are co-ed, and only private schools have uniforms or separated sexes, it was hard for me to imagine to put myself in such an altered environment that New Zealand offered. Also, I am close to completing my first year of high school, in the US there are four years, while in NZ there are five. This made my plans for three years later a but different and I didn't want to change school systems.
On the other hand, when I saw pictures of NZ that my mom had taken on her trips there, it was quite tempting to hop on a plane that second. When I thought I would for sure be moving, I was very excited about NZ as a country itself, and meeting new people and ways.

[Love_Peace]

Im 16 and didn't immigrate but was very close and seriously considering it. (I am swissmissdesigner's daughter:yes )
When researching schools I was a little disapointed because of the small variety of schools that were offered. I felt like all of them were either girls only or boys only schools, had uniforms, and the same rules (ex. "girls cannot have their hair down.") Living in the United States, most schools are co-ed, and only private schools have uniforms or separated sexes, it was hard for me to imagine to put myself in such an altered environment that New Zealand offered. Also, I am close to completing my first year of high school, in the US there are four years, while in NZ there are five. This made my plans for three years later a but different and I didn't want to change school systems.
On the other hand, when I saw pictures of NZ that my mom had taken on her trips there, it was quite tempting to hop on a plane that second. When I thought I would for sure be moving, I was very excited about NZ as a country itself, and meeting new people and ways.

[auskiwi]

We have three girls and two of them have responded:

Maddy (8): I like that there is a beach that we can go to. There are more birds chirping here than America. :nice1 I don't like that we don't have as many friends here and it's kind of boring because we don't get to always go and see our friends.

Lily (9): I really like the fact that we could be learning about a completely different culture. There is a lot more activities that are going on at schools than in America. I don't like that people don't like to "let loose"...they don't like to be really silly and instead keep it in all the time. I think kids moving to NZ will find it really hard at first because you won't have any friends but soon over time you will.:)

[migratory birds]

This is a really sweet thread...my girl is almost nine and thrilled to be moving to NZ. These responses from your kids could make a wonderful children's book; add a few photos, drawings and input from Kiwi kids about having new immigrant children in their classes and it could be tucked right into NZIS's immigration packets...
__________________________________________________ ____________
Blue stickers just rec'd 2 days ago!

[colandros]

I cannot imagine moving to nz without my 16 yr old son.
If we moved he would have nowhere to live if he stayed here.
I dont want to compromise his education and from what i've read
the nz education system isnt as good as here in the uk and that is a big
concern for me.
everything else i look at relating to lifestyle and culture in nz seems great
but i'm going to feel as if i've sold him down the river if i cant educate him to an acceptable level.
hhmmmmmmm!!!!!

[Lupin]

from what i've read
the nz education system isnt as good as here in the uk and that is a big
concern for me.........i'm going to feel as if i've sold him down the river if i cant educate him to an acceptable level.


Where on earth did you get this information?!?!

NZ has an excellent education system.

[Sam B]

I LOVE the NZ education system. My children went to a supposedly "good" school in Cornwall, but this one is TONNES better. I work in a very poor area for NZ, Tokoroa, and I was expecting to find loads of the adults I work with to have problems with literacy, but so far this hasn't been the case at all. Adult illiteracy appears to be much lower. The schools are good - honest!

[katandbob]

I cannot imagine moving to nz without my 16 yr old son.
If we moved he would have nowhere to live if he stayed here.
I dont want to compromise his education and from what i've read
the nz education system isnt as good as here in the uk and that is a big
concern for me.
everything else i look at relating to lifestyle and culture in nz seems great
but i'm going to feel as if i've sold him down the river if i cant educate him to an acceptable level.
hhmmmmmmm!!!!!

I would re-check your sources, there are probably a few schools that arn't as good, and I can't comment for other areas, but all the (16 yr old age ) schools I looked at in Invercargill were good, SIT (polytech) is keeping Jason interested, he did a Rope/working in High places course - using ropes/knots and harnesses and has a certificate - this is on an electricians course. he has now started on the L4 part of the course.

The schools are very keen on extra curricular activities http://www.hsc.org.nz/chat/may2003.htmL for instance and also community activities. The schools win awards, send students to other countries in exchange programmes etc

I would have loved to have moved here 8 yrs ago - and had all my kids go through the NZ system - they would all be here with me and would probably have better qualifications as well.


I just noticed this link in another thread which may help you http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=11866
Kat

[Island Moose]

I left home for University at 17 years old, but prior to that I moved with my mom 20 times, from one coast of Canada to the other and everywhere in between. I recall at age 7 attending two different schools in the same year.

My point is that children adapt to whatever situation with which they're faced. If the parents stir up drama around the move, concerning friends and toys etc, then the children react in turn. If the parents are more pragmatic about it, you get less drama overall.

[willowshouse]

I left home for University at 17 years old, but prior to that I moved with my mom 20 times, from one coast of Canada to the other and everywhere in between. I recall at age 7 attending two different schools in the same year.

My point is that children adapt to whatever situation with which they're faced. If the parents stir up drama around the move, concerning friends and toys etc, then the children react in turn. If the parents are more pragmatic about it, you get less drama overall.

Mmm .. but if you moved around so much then it would have become fairly 'normal' for you to move. We're talking about moving kids just once .. to the other side of the world, where they are a whole day's travel away from anybody they know .. it's quite a different kettle of fish!

IMHO your strategy would work well with kids under 4 or 5 because they don't fully appreciate the implications of such a move (nor should they!) but for older kids I'd say it would be a mistake to not try and address any concerns they had. I'm not saying you get 'dramatic' about it .. but you could certainly talk to them about their feelings.

Dawn

[swissmissdesigner]

Moving around 20 times with kids is definitely not doing your child a favor.

[John Z]

I left home for University at 17 years old, but prior to that I moved with my mom 20 times, from one coast of Canada to the other and everywhere in between. I recall at age 7 attending two different schools in the same year.

My point is that children adapt to whatever situation with which they're faced. If the parents stir up drama around the move, concerning friends and toys etc, then the children react in turn. If the parents are more pragmatic about it, you get less drama overall.

No way!

Really, it's a myth to think that children adapt to anything (they have no choice), it's just a horrible excuse to not having to face the consequenses of "what you did or did not".

You may prevent drama regarding short term (that's very pragmatic) but wait (or better, don't) what will (may) happen in the long run, that's real drama.

Sorry.

John Z.

[Island Moose]

I'm sure you're right, I think I was raised in the "school of hard knocks" philosophy...

"to the other side of the world, where they are a whole day's travel away from anybody they know .. it's quite a different kettle of fish!"

Nova Scotia to British Columbia Canada is 4500kms....believe me, I knew I wasn't visiting the boys anytime soon.

[auskiwi]

Moving around 20 times with kids is definitely not doing your child a favor.

I was a child whose parents moved us 20+ times. I hated it as a child and consequently have been reluctant to move with my own children from the U.S to NZ (and soon back again).

However, as an adult Im glad I had the experiences I had as a child...it definitely helped me have a deeper appreciation and understanding of other cultures etc. So although I wouldn't choose that lifestyle for my own children there were parts of my nomadic childhood I appreciate now.

Amy.

[KerryS]

I moved constantly as a child - my parents were in the forces and didn't really have much option. I went to boarding school for stability, and just had a different location to visit each holiday. Made for an interesting childhood. I did enjoy the different places, and I find it hard to comprehend others that have an emotional tie to one particular location, as it is something I never had.
I think being in NZ is the longest I've ever been in once place!

[Lupin]

I think it's swings and roundabouts and quite impossible to say a nomadic childhood is a Bad Thing. Stability comes from within the family more than a place.

[willsken]

Lupin I agree about stability within the family. Can't be much more important than that. I moved around a lot as a child and I can't say it bothered me much. I was just happy I had mum and dad but then I was a bit of a loner...... :uhoh

[John Z]

I think it's swings and roundabouts and quite impossible to say a nomadic childhood is a Bad Thing. Stability comes from within the family more than a place.

:nice1


When we moved from one side of the country to the other (sounds impressive, but it's a relatively small country) 3 years ago, we decided that one thing we wanted our son to have is a stable place to grow up and learn how to maintain and grow on relations. We wanted to do this (moving house) only once. But now that "things" have changed I feel bad on the one hand, because we're moving "again" while he is young (8), but on the other hand, we've talked about it together whenever it seemed suitable. When we visited NZ last dec./jan. he wanted to stay "now". It's not something we talked him into, but we tried to give him every opportunity to make up his own mind: we're not emigrating and bringing one child, we're emigrating together.

John Z.

[wanderingoregonian]

I think there are pluses and minues to both ways of growing up. My OH moved quite a bt - averaging at least one more per year (which means there were more than 1 move some years to counterbalance the more stable periods). My parents have been in the same house since I was 3 - its very much my rock and based from which I jump off from for all my own adventures. Its been interesting how much these two background of ours crop up when we attempt to make life decisions... minus the quirks all partners have in the others eyes, my guy seems fairly normal and content wiht the way he was raised - just as I wouln't give up my childhood of stability. I also have all sorts of theories about how these two very different childhoods impacted our respective personalities

Plus even with my years all in own place, there were other sources of insecurity - health worries, one parent having to commute across the country for work at times (to ensure that we could stay in the same house), crazy relative dramas, the meth lab down the street that was there then suddenly gone forever only a few months later, etc. you can only control so much as parents, and as long as kids feel that they can trust and count on thier family and themselves, I think they can be quite resilient. Working in my field, I meet so many families who deal with really intense unkonwns such as not knowing if their child will ever learn to speak or eat or walk... puts things into perspective for me every day.

so when do we get to hear more kid quotes!

[aberdian]

I have to admit, the fear of moving is quite strong with us - not for us, because we're adults and want to do it, but for the kids, but we put that down to never having moved house ourselves as kids. Our respective parents have been in their homes for 40+ years now, even though we (the kids) have moved a dozen times each since leaving.

We'll see how they cope in a few months time - we have every confidence that they will, being self confident, self aware kids. :) Of course I'm biased......

[Babette & Andy]

Hi all - I've not logged onto the forum since February, our 16mths here posting is well overdue. Many reasons for the delay. However I feel the need to make you aware of quite a different unexpected reaction by our eldest daughter L. (turned 8 in May).

Without going into all the details (happy to answer PM's) an event nearly 3 weeks ago has triggered some very unexptected and disturbing reactions by L. So disturbing that through the school and privately she is seeing a child counselor to help her further (where oh where is the 'child manual book for parents'?) She has been diagnosed with a form of Post Traumatic Stress - yes sounds serious, and it is.

On the outside she seemed to be like us all - you have good days and bad days, but on the inside she has been getting sadder and sadder, missing the UK / family / close friends dreadfully, and more so as time has gone on. She's a bright girl, but at her age has been unable to make sense of her feelings & emotions. You know how some kids / people 'suffer' from separation anxiety, well she has this now towards 'material' goods. Basically, nothing that 'belongs' to our family, including bin contents can be thrown away without a huge drama. And often even then she sneeks out at night (!) to retrieve the 'important' items out of the bins and hide them around the house. I could go on and on, and please believe me this is not meant to scare those of you still about to migrate. Very stressfull and very sad.

What I'm meaning to say is, you really don't know how your children are going to react, even after 16months. Feeling pretty c**p at the moment, and am thankfully getting a lot of support from NZ friends.

When I migrated with my family aged 6 I loved it! Never had any issues, just saw it all as a BIG adventure. Our 4 1/2 year old daughter is similar, though even now still mentions friends at her UK nursery & family that she misses.

Anyway, I know these weren't her words, might try to get some from her over the next few days to add to this brilliant thread. Thanks for reading.

Babette

[The Hodges]

What a top thread, but sorry to read about L., Babette.

I hope that she works her way through it. Here is a little something to keep going... http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/angelic013.gif

[mossum]

Babette

I'll be thinking of you (had wondered where you'd gone ) poor little love - often things can weigh very heavily on childrens shoulders .

vic

[Sam B]

Babette, thanks for sharing that. I have seen similar (but much less pronounced) behaviour in my older daughter every time we have moved. I shall be thinking of you.

[nippa&pippa]

Babette, your post remind me of early days in NZ with our son, recalled post "I want to go back to England"?
He is now very settle in new house and love it here now..but I will keep eye on him. For my daughter, she doesn't know the difference between uk and nz. England now hardly mentioned by my son as well as his friends etc...look like he had move on, very looking forward to have my sister (live in akl) coming down soon for his birthday hopefully and he know his grandma is coming to stay too in october.
I hope your daughter L. will recover soon...

[willsken]

Babette you poor thing, you must be so worried. Children are supposed to be so resilient and most are. It's just some really struggle when they’re out of their comfort zone. It sounds like she’s getting lots of help and hopefully things will settle for her sometime soon. I’ll be thinking of you.

[Tia Maria]

I've PM'd you.

Cheers

Tia

[Babette & Andy]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and PM's :) - your support means a lot to me. Happy to see some of you still remember me! Hope to be posting a positive update/outcome in weeks/months to come.

Babette

[jubjub]

Babette, I look forward to an update of a positive nature for little L, and soon.... (hugs)

[Belmont Babes]

From Joe aged 10:We've just told our friends, my bestfriend cried I think I should of told him separately but I guess the worst is over now.By the sound of it it's going to have better education,air and sport. I hope I am correct.
What am I scared of? Making new friends as on the first day I will have none.What will I miss? Friends, relatives and my house as it has a big garden.

from Fraser aged 8: I feel fine now about NZ as I've got used to the idea. I felt very sad when I told my friends. What I am scared of? Nothing now. What will I miss? My house and friends and family. I am looking forward to all the fun things to do

[Joanne100]

I will get my kids to answer the questions tonight, should be interesting! they were 11, 8 and 6 at the time of moving out here, one of the hardest memories to re-live is remembering the kids on the last day of school, my eldest son who took the news of us moving to NZ in his stride and had no problems about leaving anyone or anything, absolutely broke his heart i walked into his class room to find him in the middle of about ten boys all hugging him at the same time, he was sobbing, his mates were sobbing, i tried to hold it together but as we drove away in the car they were stood hugging each other waving goodbye to him, i couldnt see where i was going for the tears dont think ive ever seen him cry so much before or since.

My daughter had been crying for about a week before we left, so it was no surprise that she came out crying, but i think it was everyone elses reaction that made her worse.

The only person in the school yard that wasnt crying was my 6 year old son, he didnt understand what all the fuss was about, wish i could have given him the keys to drive the car home!

[katandbob]

I one of the hardest memories to re-live is remembering the kids on the last day of school, my eldest son who took the news of us moving to NZ in his stride and had no problems about leaving anyone or anything, absolutely broke his heart i walked into his class room to find him in the middle of about ten boys all hugging him at the same time, he was sobbing, his mates were sobbing,


My 16yr old had the same experience - and I felt even more guilty as he had to do it without our support as we were here (in NZ) already, and they were staying with their gran

My Eldest who is back in the UK still hasn't forgiven us for making his 18th birthday (and Jasons 16th) depressing as most of his friends and also relatives new it was going to be his last with them.
and also because we ourselves wern't there - and I guess in hindsight we would have been better to stay and come over here together - but its too late now, we just have to deal with the aftermath and hope that our kids will realise that we were trying to give them a better start in life.

Kat

[Joanne100]

[QUOTE= but its too late now, we just have to deal with the aftermath and hope that our kids will realise that we were trying to give them a better start in life.Kat[/QUOTE]

Im sure they know, if not yet in years to come they will understand all we wanted was the best for them.
I do hope so anyway!

[Tia Maria]

Bump!

Cheers

Tia