[Divemaster]

My OH has asked me to post this to try and quell some of those fears that all new imigrants must have - 'How Easy Is It To Fit In And Make New Friends Etc', as i have been reading on the site it's one of the biggest issues people are using to return to the UK after missing family/friends.

I know that usually when people have children this helps to get adults together due to schools, outside activities etc but we dont have any kids (kicked him out years ago :D ) for that to help.

Any new expats out there who were in the same predicament and how did you find slotting in and making new friends?

[Sam B]

I found it very hard at first but it's rapidly getting easier and I'm starting to feel much more at home now. You really just have to give it time and also make more effort than you normally would to socialise. Making a whole new group of friends from scratch is an unusual situation, and can be hard work. At first I felt like I would never meet anyone and was doomed to be lonely forever, but it's only been just under 5 months, and we know plenty of people now, some of whom I am sure will become good friends.

I also really struggled to feel at home and settled in general at first, but again, this does improve quite quickly. There is a tendancy to try to make sense of your new world by making stereotypes at first, e.g. if you have a bad experience with a grumpy waitress, you assume all Kiwis are grumpy and must hate you because you are British or something, likewise a tendancy to think they are all friendly angels if someone is nice. The reality, of course, is that they are all different, just like anywhere, with a cultural lean towards more friendly on the whole I think.

Some people have said they find Kiwis "aloof", but I have not found this to be the case at all. They are just all different.

You definitely have to give it time.

[Kim39]

We found it hard at first, not so much for ourselves but for our girls. We hit NZ in Nov 05 and had decided to take 6 weeks out before starting work, which meant the girls weren't hitting school until Feb 06 as the summer holidays for schools is December. Anyway i made contact with an expat family who had girls the same age roughly, and did this via our rival site. Soon we had made new friends from this, and that in turn led me to the Football club where more friends-kiwi's- were made.

Now 18 months in we have a very good circle of friends, expat and kiwi, and also a decent social calender.

I suppose the only way you are going to get new friends is to seek something out that will put you in the mix so to speak. It only takes one meeting with somebody and it snowballs from there. Bear in mind also that you have a certain network of friends here that you can call on anytime. Try and get yourselves to a local meet if you can and start making new friendships from there. We have done it with the NW meets and i can't fault any of any friendships from those people, and we carry on those friendships here in NZ as we are all here.

Good luck.

Kim

[The Hodges]

It is hard at first, but you have to stick at it and make an effort to meet people, it will be worth it in the long run.:) We have been here just over 3 months now and we have a couple of close friends who are just great, but you will still miss your friends and family back home. But what a great place for a holiday for them:clap