[carter]

Well, for the first time I'm getting nerves and wondering what the hell I'm doing!! The plan is to do a bit of travelling first arriving in NZ at the end of Jan 08. Then do a bit more travelling and find work. GF is hoping to get a job as a teacher and has had all the quals assessed etc. If all goes well apply for PR through her job.

We've talked about coming back to NZ (visited for 2 months in 2001) for years and have become quite disallusioned in the UK. However, we both make OK salaries, we have a nice flat, friends etc.

We were at the travel agent at the weekend getting flight details and sorting out itineraries. I've already got a 1 yr career break approved from work so can come back to my job. We've done all the planning and a lot of research and are awre of the pitfalls. When we visited we loved NZ but we always knew we were coming home. Now the plan is to settle and reality has set in. I was up all night thinking about it (almost falling asleep at work now:( ). Am i just chasing a pipe dream. If I don't do it I'll regret not trying but to the other extreme if I do it am I messing up a relatively comfortable life in the UK? I've always taken calculated risks, some have worked and some haven't but now I'm facing the prospect of moving my whole life 12,000 miles:eek:

Is it just cold feet nad natural to feel like this? What are other peoples experiences?

Cheers, Carter

[RamblingPaddies]

we're in a similar situation. i guess you wont know unles you go.
like you i can put my career here on hold so that is something at least.

[Debbie P.]

I think it's pretty normal to feel nervous, but you're in a better position than most, with your job being kept open for you. Also, assuming you will have a RTW ticket, you don't have to worry about finding the money for return flights.

I'm not sure from what you've said whether you have to go back to the UK at some point (to complete a period of notice in your job?). If that's the case, would it help to view this as a temporary move, e.g. something like a gap year? It would just be for long enough to tell whether you would be able to settle longer-term (housing, money, lifestyle etc) - and if it becomes obvious that you do want to stay, you can start worrying about the long-term at that stage!

But otherwise, as long as you have a job to come back to, a ticket and know you will be able to find somewhere to stay, I would try not to worry too much.

[holland]

Hi,

We too are in a similar position, we both have ok jobs here, well paid, large 4 bed house, comfortable life, great friends and family live 2 minutes away...and plan to go in November. We have really up and down times, largely to do with what we read on this forum!!!! I think you are really fortunate to have a job to come back to, its difficult for us as we are having to leave jobs, sell house and go-throw me being broody into the equation...and theres a whole load of feelings, excitement, apprehension etc.

BUT, we will be going in November regardless, I was in a car accident last year which prevented us from going, and I felt so suffocated, 'trapped' in this country, so no matter what my heart is telling me...and my head on some occasions, we will be getting on a plane to NZ in November and giving it a chance. We do not want to be part of the 'what if' club!!

Hope this helps a little, I think everyone goes through the doubts.

j and g x

[Belmont Babes]

Hi All

Going through exactly the same emotions (not broody though). Holland I could of written your post. We have good jobs, earn good money, live in a nice small town (alot of Polish) kids at a lovely village school, family local etc. So why move? Just to try something different, put more quality into life, for the kids to experience a different country.

If it all goes pear shape, we can always come back. Yes we will have lost money, yes we will probably have to re enter the housing ladder near the bottom, but you are a long time dead!

However, emigration is the last thing on my mind at night, I lie awake for approx an hour every night thinking things through; alarm goes off and I wake up and think about EMIGRATION again. I also have frequent heart pounding occasions the last one was this evening when my 10 year old was being taught cricket bowling techniques by his Grandad. My Son said "I better learn all I can while I have the chance". I didn't know what to say!

[Sam B]

I went through all these emotions before we left, I was completely obsessed. Every book I read was about NZ, every film we watched was set in NZ, I discovered this forum and couldn't keep off it, particularly enjoyed torturing myself with threads about people leaving cos they hated it. I couldn't get to sleep, I started waking up in the early hours and my brain would immediately switch into overdrive worrying about all the things I needed to do.

I tried not to dwell too much on whether I was making a mistake, because I knew I was going to do it anyway, and it helped that it was winter and v depressing. And my job was getting v depressing with funding issues and v low staff morale.

In the final 2 weeks it was panic attack city.

Anyway, if you are a bit of a worrier, don't expect everything to be all rosy as soon as you get here. There is definitely an initial high, but this is quickly replaced by culture shock. Also there are still many things to be done. Gradually normality reasserts itself, and for us, NZ seems more and more wonderful, although there are still many moments of doubt and worry.

This morning I saw 2 Eastern Rosellas pecking up seeds under a tree by the roadside. Parrots living round the corner from where I live! How cool?

[thezorbster]

All your emotions are completely normal! We have 7 weeks to go before our move and I'm feeling surprisingly calm and excited, but 2 weeks ago I was so down and in a huge state of panic thinking what the hell are we doing. No doiubt I'll hit the panic stage again over the next few weeks! We live in a lovely house, lovely village, great schools,decent salary etc. But, we have to try NZ - it has been 'calling' us for 15 years and we have always backed down, talked ourselves out of it, felt for the family we're leaving behind. We've now reached the stage in our lives where we have to think of us, our future and the kind of childhood we want for our daughter. We think NZ is it, so we're going. If it doesn't work, we come back but we're sure as hell going to give it a go and never have those 'what if' regrets. You are very lucky, you have a job to come back to so what do you have to risk? At the worst you'll have had a great year out and adventure in a beautiful country, at the best you realise NZ is for you long term. Go for it and if you panic a little along the way - it's normal!

[carter]

Thanks to everyone for the replies. Feel much better after reading those. Just trying to gain some perspective which you have helped me do. I am expected to come back to re-commence my job in Jan 09 so it is a comfort to have that, I know others aren't as lucky.

I guess thinking of it as initially a year is more helpful, I keep thinking of this as permanent whereas I haven't got that far yet. I should worry about that later. It is a case of heart ruling head, I can really relate to that. Head says don't rock the boat and be grateful for what you have. Heart says i'll never be truly happy in the Uk and I'll regret it forever if I don't try this adventure. A bit like the devil and angel on each shoulder:D The Angel has the heads up so far in telling me to go.

I can relate to being obsessed with reading this forum listening to people who it hasn't worked for and for those it has. It makes me realise this is such an individual process and unless you try it for yourself you will never know. However forearmed is forewarned so I like reading what people have to say regardless of whether it's what i need to hear! Well, flightsare being booked next week, going to Singapore, bali, oz then arrive in Christchurch end of jan. £2000 lighter after insurance and a bit of accommodation. Phew. (I better go after spending that). Having people think and say what I'm feeling is a huge help. Makes me feel less alone about the whole thing. I generally don't worry about much, perhaps a bit too laid back but after going to the travel agent last week the whole thing hit me really hard. I'm thankful for this forum. Thanks all. Carter. :yes

[carter]

Update - OK, back to the travel agents this Sat to book and pay for flights.

[Carol]

I am now into my 12th year here in NZ. So I guess I have a reasonable amount of street cred to write this.

We came with our two boys (7 and 4) extremely unprepared. Of course we had no internet then or even email to be able to research the way you guys do.
One of our goals was to give our kids a safer, more balanced life and to open their minds to the possibilities of living and working in other parts of the world.

We have definitely achieved that.

We wanted the possibility of greater job satisfaction and more opportunities.
Hubby has definitely achieved that - I have had the complete opposite happen - I grew to hate my job and am currently having a year off.

We wanted to escape the commercialism and greed of the UK. Now now now want want want attitude.
We HAVE escaped that - but the moment I go back - I get sucked back in as soon as I can - I love shopping over there. I know - I am shallow.:o

I knew I would miss my family as I was very close to them.
It is much worse now than it ever was............I long for them.
But the fact my children are kiwis now (in mind as well as on their passports) make it an impossible situation for me to return. Hubby also is very happy here and is doing well.
My only option is to visit as often as I can at the moment. So I do.

I would advise you to think about your goals, your values and your loves in life. And assess how long you intend to stay in NZ based on that.

Everyone is different. Everyone has different priorities.
I do love NZ - but I still have a longing for "home".
Always keep yourself a way back if you can.

And apart from that - if you dont try it you will never know.
Enjoy it. And learn from it.
That is all there is to it really......:nice1

[Tia Maria]

Glad to hear you've booked your flights! :D

I think your phrase 'calculated risk', is very much how we felt about the whole process. We were, and still are 'trying New Zealand out', when we were calculating our risk I found that all the pro's of emigrating in general are quite vague - better quality of life, adventure, more child friendly etc. Whereas all the negatives tend to be more quantifiable - probable loss of earnings, costs involved in emigrating, being out of the housing market if you sell and leaving family.

So we worked out what we would return to if it didn't work out - smaller house, not so nice area, couple of years with no savings - this can obviously work out to be a lot of money - and then we decided whether the 'adventure' was worth it.

For us it was - I believe in living, not existing and for me that means giving something a go. But in the same sense we made sure we had an 'emergency fund' which allowed us to retuen the minute it wasn't working out. For us even if things didn't work out, it was a positive, as we would no longer wonder 'what if .......'

We also arrived in January, which is a great time to arrive weather wise, but things can be a bit slow on the accommodation and job front as NZ tends to be in holiday mode till about mid Feb. So don't be worried if things are a bit slow moving at the start.

Cheers

Tia

[carter]

Ok flights all paid for. Going to Singapore, Bali and Oz before getting into Christchurch on 30th Jan. Just got to pre pay for some of the accomodation and figure out a more definate plan for NZ. Just been approved for our work holiday visa. Now I keep thinking of what I need to buy like a bag, clothing, I've decided to take my laptop too. It's weird at work as my colleagues talk about projects I work on now and who will be doing my bit. For them life will go on and mine will go off on a completely different tangent. I'm thinking this is what I'll miss the most.



1) Friends & family
2) My flat and belongings
3) Security of work and colleagues
4) My beloved Derby County!!
5) The pub
6) TV (third season of Prison Break)

Tia - Exactly what we have been thinking and talking about. So many people going or have been through this experience yet it's strange how alone you can feel about it. Growing up in Western society has perhaps made me soft! I just know I can no longer live life thinking "is this it". Which is how I've felt about the UK for the past 5 years.At the moment all I can think of is what I'll be giving up because what I have to gain is still a plane ride away.

[stephenandjulie]

Don't worry about Prison Break, they were just finishing the second series when we arrived two months ago so you should arrive in time for the third series.
Julie

[Familyofmonkeys]

Hi,

We too are in a similar position, we both have ok jobs here, well paid, large 4 bed house, comfortable life, great friends and family live 2 minutes away...and plan to go in November. We have really up and down times, largely to do with what we read on this forum!!!! I think you are really fortunate to have a job to come back to, its difficult for us as we are having to leave jobs, sell house and go-throw me being broody into the equation...and theres a whole load of feelings, excitement, apprehension etc.



We were in same 'comfortable' position i.e. well paid jobs, large house etc. It all changed when we had kids....full time childcare for one child was half my salary after tax etc...and I was fairly well paid. With 2 children there is no point working. Not good for morale when you have spent several years at Uni to get decent job, and can't afford to work, but finding it difficult without one. If you are comfortable and doing OK in UK you do not qualify for financial help...if you earnt alot it would not be an issue, if you are low paid you get highly subsidised childcare. Here in NZ we at least feel 'comfortable' on one salary.
Plus although we miss family and friends, you don't get out so much with kids anyway. Here there are loads of things to do for free!