[The Hodges]

We have just returned from our first trip back to the UK, for the OH’s parents 60th birthday party, since we moved to NZ.

On the flight back to the UK, we both had mixed feelings about returning, because when we left the UK the first time it was very difficult saying goodbye to family and friends and we knew we would have to do it all over again. Even so it was a great opportunity to see everyone. Everyone we spoke to seemed to envy our decision and said moving to NZ is an amazing opportunity and a very brave thing to do. This made us feel much better about our decision. And it’s amazing how everyone you speak to either knows someone or has family in NZ; this makes it feel not so far away and somehow connected.

Unfortunately, we chose to visit when the UK was experiencing the wettest June on record and three failed bomb attacks. I had to laugh because, if I didn’t, I think I would have cried, as I took mainly summer clothes with me and ended up having to wear the same thing almost every day because it was really cold and rained every day. The good old British Summer!

We spent the whole time visiting family and friends and drinking endless cups of tea. Everyone was so positive about us being in NZ and they are looking forward to coming over for visits (although we shall see how many make it). We even managed to get time to meet up with NZduo, also from this forum, who are about to move out to NZ. It was great to meet them and we are looking forward to meeting up again in April.

As the week came to a close, the OH said he couldn’t wait to return to NZ, but unfortunately I was beginning to feel that I did not want to return. We have amazing families and a fantastic group of friends and this is the only thing we will really miss. (Oh and I really miss our solidly built central heated house). We always said we would give NZ two years and our family and friends would be the only thing that would make us return to the UK.

We did wonder if it was a bit soon to return to the UK, but it was a lot easier saying goodbye for the second time as friends and family have gotten used to the idea of us being in NZ and we are now looking forward to them visiting us.

To conclude, returning to the UK did not make us feel that we wanted to return straight away. Although if we were completely honest I would also say I don’t think we will stay in NZ long term.

[Rabbit]

An excellent post and very pertinent, as my other half has gone back for a few weeks visit to see the family and in-laws - not my cup of tea.

I do not miss the crowds or the motorways back in the UK, even if there are only two main roads here in NZ - and I have been up and down both of them.

The key issue for me about NZ is the remote isolation being several thousand miles from anywhere, the nearest place being OZ, and after a few trips there I was left unimpressed. My sole needs history and diversity and that is not here.

Relative to the UK and OZ, NZ reminds me of a past visit to the Outer Hebrides off the west coast of Scotland.

I also need a warm and dry home that I can afford to maintain.

The other key driver is simply financial. The cost of goods and services are excessive relative to earnings, e.g. the costs are greater than the UK, and the income/salary is less (not to mention my old bugbear relating to Company pensions and other benefits).

So, would I not be better off in North Wales, The Lake District or the West Coast of Scotland, a comparable standard of living and greater diversity, with relatives and everything else close by?

I think the one advantage of NZ; especially Wellington is the diversity of employment within a compact area, thus offering a short commute and a quality of life. This offers the ability to change jobs in specialist fields without having to travel excessively or relocate. I am sure that is also the case in London, but who can afford to live close enough?

There are many trade-off's and certainly no silver bullets.

I have spent most of today comparing UK with NZ prices, and everything from bread, wine and computers are cheaper in the UK.

I am sure my house back in the UK built of solid brick and stone will certainly outlive the one we have now.

I hope you feel more settled once you are back home in NZ - not easy, as it is the ties that bind.

We all appreciate the challenge of making tough decisions.

For myself to be honest, I do not think the decision to return to the UK will be as hard or as tough as the decision to come out here in the first place.

If we left NZ, then there would be allot of things we would miss, and others we would not, I guess it works both ways.

A green and pleasant land - NZ, UK or both?

Rabbit

[pinkpiggy]

Both great reflective posts, thanks The Hodges and Rabbits.

I hope once you're back on NZ soil that you'll feel better and more at home. I remember when we moved to Scotland, it didn't feel like home for ages. A few months after our move we went on holiday and upon our return walked through the front door and that's when it hit us - this was home and at last it finally felt like it.

We're still in the honeymoon period here in Hamilton and are about to move into another rental but hopefully we'll have that same feeling here before too long.

[liamnrach]

Good honest posts as usual. You both have a real knack for putting things into perspective and for showing that there one can have doubts about the move as well as positives....

Good luck to you both in the coming months...

Liam n Rach

[marcia]

What fantastic posts, I loved reading them both!

One of the reasons I don't want to go back to visit in the uk is that it will just be an endless round of visits to family and friends - that sounds really hard, and its not that I don't love them all but I don't want to spend my 'holidays' touring round to see everyone and having to say those goodbyes again. So being really hard, its up to them to come here and see us, they haven't seen NZ and can have a fantastic (once in a lifetime for some of them) holiday and visit us at the same time.

Rabbit - I agree with your posts about prices of goods, we really try and weigh up if we 'really need' or just 'really want' something over here before buying stuff now, whereas in the uk, yes we were careful, we didn't just spend money willy nilly, but if we wanted it we bought it. Now we do the tour of all shops to try and get the best bargain, then quite often decide we can do without it anyway!!!:o The prices have probably got a lot to do with supply and demand, in the uk there are a lot more people demanding a lot more stuff, here in NZ the kiwis aren't into 'things and gadgets' the same and will make do and mend, so the demand is not as high therefore the prices higher (see I did learn a bit in economics at college, in between falling asleep of sheer boredom!)

The whole immigration lark is a set of weighing scales, balancing what you are prepared to forfeit to gain in other ways, and its all down to what is important to each individual family, and we are all so different, thats why there is no right answer and everyone must do their own research into what is important to them.

Now I'm off to put on another pair of socks and a jumper - its too bloody cold in here! How I long for my central heating - but hey in summer I'll be moaning its too hot - I'm a spring and autumn girl myself!!!!:clap