[Tia Maria]

Hey there - just noticed a post from you and I would love to hear how you found your return!

Were the practicalities quite straightforward? Did everything go as you imagined? Has anything changed or feel different now you're back? How did people respond? Does it feel like you never went away or does everything still feel quite strange?

And on a lighter note, who was the first person you arranged to see? What was the first thing you wanted to eat? And what was the first place you wanted to go to?

Cheers

Tia

[thepiesleys]

Yeah - I'm interested in this as well. How were your friends when you went back?

[spudulike]

Hi Tia and thepiesleys,
Thanks for your messages. Sorry I haven't been on and given an update before - it's on my list of things to do! I am out most of today so will try and write a decent update tonight. However, we're all really well and certainly feel we have made the right decision at this point in our lives.

I will definitely pop on later and write a decent update!

Louise :D

[jo b]

Hey chaps don't know if this helps but I came back last year and I have been home just over a year now.

So I'll feedback how I found it at home we can compare differences/similarities to spudulike and colins return.

Friends & Family

That was great, spent nearly the whole of the gorgeous summer at Haydock races!!
My friends in the end got fed up of of me explaining why I didn't like nz so they just said hey your back now lets get on with it.
You do get to a point when you get fed up of acquaintances asking why you came back, but I don't get that so much now.
My family waited at the airport with welcome home banners and we all burst into tears when we saw each other.

Shock
Many people in NZ thought I would jump on a plane and return to NZ but I didn't as I needed to get settled and kids in school. BUT I did feel something was missing and what I realized was that after 6 years humming and harring and then 2 years planning I now didn't have a goal or dream as my dream had 'turned to custard'. So it was almost like I had a void if you know what I mean.

Struggle
Last summer was very hard not only did I move 3 times before we moved into our place but my husband came home 2 and a half months after. At times I thought he might stay there, it was very stressful on our marriage. He is back now and we are a solid as ever.

what helped
What really helped was that I liked my life in the UK in the first place. Some things about the UK used to really pee me off and to be honest I used to use that as an excuse/reason for going to NZ. I came to realise that the same things pee'd me off about NZ too!! So now when people ask why did you go to NZ I just say because I could.

Settled
I have to say that it doesn't feel the same life as before (believe it or not I am even in the same street but that is a LOONNGGG story which I'll tell next time). It just feels like a new phase in my life with more experience to boot. And yes I feel very settled!!

Regrets
Not a one!!

I feel so blessed that I have had the opportunity to live in another country as for one thing it has really made me appreciate what I have.

Jo

[thepiesleys]

Thanks Jo...How long were you in NZ for? Also have you had a negative responses from people you have met upon your return?

I can think of a few people I know who may like to try and stick the knife in.

Dan

[Tia Maria]

Jo b wrote:

So now when people ask why did you go to NZ I just say because I could.

What a great answer, I think there are some people you want to sit down and have a deep and meaningful with and others you don't.

I think the void you talk about is very interesting and probably very common. I've spoken to many people who feel it after they first arrive in NZ also, particularly as day to day life kicks in. I had one friend say she wished she could just learn to be happy where she was, as she was already contemplating her next move. I think some people are just restless and either need a challenge or something new on the horizon.

I like your 'what helped' section, that would be quite a good thread for those leaving NZ to return home as I'm sure it comes with its own unique issues to deal with.

Enjoy your new phase!

thepiesleys wrote:

I can think of a few people I know who may like to try and stick the knife in

Just list all the things you've done and seen in the last year and then ask them what they did! OK so you didn't find a new country to live in, but you did have a year long adventure/holiday - better than 2 weeks in Spain!

Cheers

Tia

[KerryS]

I can think of a few people I know who may like to try and stick the knife in.



In which case I wouldn't be associating with them when I got back.

Thanks for your post Jo. I'm looking forward to reading Spud's too.

I am going back this year for the first time in ... years, and am actually starting to feel nervous and a bit scared. What if I've made the wrong decision and I want to stay there? I didn't leave the UK with any bad feelings about the place, I left to go on holiday and never returned. Now what if the grass really is greener back there... I'm scared that the last 5 years will have been a waste - I certainly think so from a career perspective anyway. What was the point in me studying for 7 years, only to throw it all away 18 months after getting to NZ and doing something else just to earn a decent living. I feel lots of regret about that.

[colindp]

Kerry,
You should not look at your spell in NZ as a waste of time, you will have seen and experienced sights, sounds and cultures some only dream of (the what if Brigade I call them) I have been fortunate in my lifetime and have lived and worked in NZ, USA, and Germany and have many great memories; NZ was supposed to be a permanent move for us but it just did not work out how we had hoped and like others that have returned we have no regrets...You only get one turn in the game of life, why not make the most of it!!!!! :nice1

[jo b]

Thanks Jo...How long were you in NZ for? Also have you had a negative responses from people you have met upon your return?

I can think of a few people I know who may like to try and stick the knife in.

Dan


Hi Dan,

I haven't met loads of negative responses but my brother-in-law was sort of sniggering behind my back making comments and rolling his eyes......this is a man who struggled to comes to terms with the thought of moving 1 mile away from his mother!!!!

So if that happens just don't worry about people who stick the knife in they obviously are jealous that they haven't had the courage to try something new.
If you have managed to move to the other side of the world and then have the courage to say 'no thanks not for me', then you will have the strength to deal with anything or anyone when you get back, believe me.

BTW I lasted just on 5 mths or thereabouts.

http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=6478

this is my thread when I was leaving.

Cheers

Jo

[jubjub]

I can think of a few people I know who may like to try and stick the knife in.



I'm with the others, just ignore them, or show them your fabby pics of the far off lands you have visited, when the furthest they may have been is Margate! (OK maybe Spain ;) )

Louise, sounds as though you are happy enough, and it would be lovely to get an update.

Jo nice to hear from you too.

[spudulike]

Hi all - sorry I didn't get on last night to do an update, my little girl wasn't well.....

Ok, where to start???

Leaving NZ
We left Welly at the beginning of May and I have to say I was having a mild 'are we doing the right thing' type panic as the children were settled and happy, and the hope that we weren't imagining our financial situation had been better in the UK! We had a fab holiday in the South Island and even though we had travelled most of it several years ago I was suprised how my memories of it were different to reality, for example we originally wanted to live in Christchurch but when we went there this time I didn't like it at all compared to Welly, so that felt pretty odd. We then went to Melbourne and I have to say the crowds took ALOT of getting used to! It is an excellent place though and I would highly recommend visiting.

The UK
We got back into the UK at the end of May and moved to Exeter, I had never visited before but hubby had and I wasn't adverse to living somewhere different - somehow that type of thing is easier when you've moved to the other side of the world. The first thing I noticed when we were driving down to Devon on a beautiful sunny day was the sky wasn't as blue as in NZ - it wasn't grey, just not that beautiful crystal clear deep blue.

Other things we noticed is how friendly it is here. Something I found very irritating in NZ is the 'have a nice day' customer service in the supermarket - not because I don't like people being polite, but because they just don't mean it. I could have an entire conversation with somebody at a checkout there and at the end they would say 'so how is your day?' clearly they weren't listening then!! I find people in the shops here either don't ask or if they do ask, they actually mean it! I've also found general courtesy to be better on a day to day basis, such as people waving me and my children across the road, rather than blocking the only access across.

Shopping here is heaven! Food is fresh and there is so much choice. It's come down in price considerably too. We were like children in a toy shop on our first trip around Tesco's which I know is extremely sad - but we bought food, children's clothes, electrical items and household goods without it costing us an arm and a leg!

One of the biggest worries I had about coming back was the crime rates, chav's, hoodies etc etc and I can honestly (and happily say) there is absolutely no evidence of that here at all, although I appreciate it may well be the case in some of the larger cities. I feel no less safe here than in NZ. I do think that much of it is Daily Mail b*ll which people like to quote as a reason to leave.

Being back amongst the history and architecture is wonderful, it is so much a part of who I am and one of the aspects of UK life I knew I would find difficult to live without. I love driving through quaint villages and beautiful countryside, although the stunning scenery in NZ takes some beating too - it's a tough call :laugh

Family and friends
We met up with hubby's family 3 days after arriving back and it went much better than anticipated (we didn't part on the best of terms). Anyway, the children won them over and the future looks much better. The bad news was that my Mum was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks after getting back so we had a trip up to Yorkshire - although she's had an op and will be having treatment we're not sure what the prognosis is and that one event makes me pleased to be here, particularly as I feel far away in Devon so I don't know how hard it would be to be in NZ. There would be no way I could leave my children or afford to come back here and that would be devastating.

Seeing friends has been so wonderful! I don't know what else to say, it has exceeded my expectations and not been a let down in the slightest. We have lots of plans to meet up with people right up until October!

Work, etc
Hubby has got work and is earning more in 2 days here than he was in a week in NZ! Obviously it's reassuring to know that we didn't imagine things. Anyway, he has three full days work and is setting up his own business on the other two.

I have a place at Uni to start my Post Grad Teacher Training in Sept which I had telephone interview for before leaving NZ, so the children will be starting at nursery in September.

We have rented a house until we know the area better and hope to buy next year as we should know where I'll be working too. This is hugely exciting as we couldn't even contemplate buying a house in NZ due to finances.

So all in all, life is good for us at the moment. We know we absolutely made the right decision for this point in our lives as we simply couldn't afford to live in NZ - we were barely existing. Both hubby and I feel as though we are living and have a good future again - not to mention the future we can provide for the children.

We will apply for our IRRV when the time comes as we also don't rule out a return to NZ one day when our finances are better. We are very lucky as we love both NZ and the UK, (although this post is UK heavy for obvious reasons) and can choose between the two depending on what point we are in our lives. So we'll see... but in the meantime we will enjoy all this wonderful country has to offer, and let our children get to know their extended families. I will post regularly as I'm not sure how I'll feel in 3, 6 or 9 months but I'd like to give a realistic view for anybody who is in a similar position to us.

Thanks for all the posts - and if you've stuck with this up until now please go and get a well earned cuppa :D

L :)

[stu70]

Thanks for all the posts - and if you've stuck with this up until now please go and get a well earned cuppa :D

L :)

Thanks for the nice post . Sorry about your mother, hope she feels better soon. Cheers

[jo b]

Lou

I could have written that post, with the exception of wanting to return to NZ!! In my older years I'll need the NHS :-). But definitely the bit
about shopping.

Sorry to hear about your mum though, I bet you are so relieved you are the right side of the world at this mo.

Thanks for the update

Jo

[Tia Maria]

Good to hear how you're doing Spudulike!

Sorry about your Mum, so glad you can be there for her.

Spudulike wrote:

So all in all, life is good for us at the moment. We know we absolutely made the right decision for this point in our lives as we simply couldn't afford to live in NZ - we were barely existing. Both hubby and I feel as though we are living and have a good future again - not to mention the future we can provide for the children.

Enjoy! :D

Cheers

Tia

[colindp]

Hi Spudulike,
So sorry to hear about your mum and I pray that all will go well with her treatment....I am a firm believer that there is a reason for everything and your return to the UK at this time bears that out...All the very best to you all.

:nice1