[John Z]

Who likes to go deep down under? :)

Please don't get me wrong, but I don't understand why so many still call the UK (or whatever country) "home" when/after they choose to emigrate to NZ and actually (want to) live there.

Isn't home where the heart is? Isn't home where you freely choose to live with your family? Isn't home where you build your future and/or the future of your kids? Isn't home where you want it to be home?

How can you succeed to be happy with your life when you're not home?

(Is this different for men and women?)

John Z

[Marco]

Hi John,

I couldn't agree more with someone!!!
Well said,

Anita

[Chiba]

Agreed. From personal experience, and from seeing a lot of other people go through the process, it takes a good few years to stop thinking that way. Some people never seem to do so, but I think everyone changes inside eventually. You can usually tell they've changed by listening between the lines when they've just come back from a UK trip. ;)

If you don't change the way you talk about it, you'll be slow to change the way you think about it...

[marcia]

I knew this would come up - if you do a search this has been debated in the past! :p

[willsken]

I'm not sure if it's a man/woman thing. I watched 3 of the "No Place like Home" programs this week and it varied as to which wanted to return to the UK.

I agree with what you said in your post. If you choose to live somewhere then surely that becomes your home. I don't consider the UK home any more, I sold my "home" there months ago. I have a lovely new home here in NZ. :D

[dilanium]

This makes me think of something that my 9th grade science teacher told me.

He told me that if I continue to refer to my old locale as my home, the people in my new town would never think of me as being from that town- I would always be a bit of an outsider.

My family had just moved 600 miles to a new state, and a very small town. I continually referred me myself as being from a large town (thinking it made me tough). I found that when I started saying that I was from this new town (which lead to me accepting the move my family had made) people started treating me as one of them rather than that girl from the big city.

I think that this is probably true of people moving to new countries too. So when I move to NZ, I'll begin referring to myself as being from X (whatever town in New Zealand I've moved to), and when pushed I'll tell them where I'm from. I'm sure people will know I'm not native because of my accent, but that's not what's important.

As Chiba said: If you don't change the way you talk about it, you'll be slow to change the way you think about it...

[jen]

I think that this is probably true of people moving to new countries too. So when I move to NZ, I'll begin referring to myself as being from X (whatever town in New Zealand I've moved to), and when pushed I'll tell them where I'm from. I'm sure people will know I'm not native because of my accent, but that's not what's important.


When we've gone out of town people ask where we're from and we say "Wellington" & in town we say "Hataitai". Though then nine times out of ten I get asked "No, where are you ORIGINALLY from?" so there's no escaping it with my North American accent. It is kind of a nice icebreaker since a surprising number of people have been to the US/have a friend or relative there, or say "oh, you must be having to adjust to the cold, then" when I say originally I'm from California.

I referred to Indiana as "back home" for probably 10 years after I moved because my family still lived there . . . once my father (my last living relative) moved to CA to live near me I started saying "back east" so I guess it was still home if my family was there.


Here about 1/2 the time I talk about going "back home" and 1/2 the time "back to the States" so we'll see how that goes with time. I still haven't made the internal decision 100% that we'll be staying here for good, and when I do then I think it'll be "back in the States" all the time.

Jen

[andrewandjane]

i find that new zealand is home most of the time and it gets less and less that i think of england as home, but i talk of england as home when i am thinking about family. as i feel all the places we have lived will always be home. but waiheke is home forever as its just fantastic and all the time we are making new friends and more reasons for it to feel like home. the best will be when we have our very own home here.

[Familyofmonkeys]

A few years ago, one of my overseas friends at uni told me 'Home is where your hairbrush is'....:laugh

[leachio]

Home is where the heart is and comin to NZ has made me realise that as nice as it is it will never be home so for me the UK in the loving arms of family and friends is home for me and I endeavour to return nx yr. This experience is now an extended working holiday for us.

[marky]

sorry, but until the things that i find wrong about nz improve..i'll never see this place as home

[Familyofmonkeys]

No where in the world is perfect, and there will ALWAYS be things you are not happy with. Home to me, is where you are happier to tolerate these things, and the compromise is easiest.

[willsken]

Yeah, I also don't think things are going to be perfect anywhere. I am a lot happier in NZ, as the things I don't like about it are tiny in comparison to the things I didn't like about the UK. If I didn't feel like that I think I would look to change my situation. :yes

[Tia Maria]

I'm quite fickle and pretty much call everywhere home, in fact I can stay in a hotel for a weekend and I'll say 'I'm going home', when I go back to the room. :laugh

Cheers

Tia

[willsken]

:D :D

[thezorbster]

I don't agree that you have to call somewhere home to feel at home there. I grew up in N. Wales and spent the first 18 yrs of my life there. I'm now early 40s and it's only the last 3-4 yrs that I've stopped referring to Mums house as home. I've been incredibly happy where I am and this is definitely home but the 'ingrained' home to me was where I grew up. I think when you've spent large portion of your life in one place it becomes automatic to think of it as home, but that is not to say you can't be happy elsewhere. It's hard to just wipe out the past so I think I must be a multi-homer and provided I'm happy and content somewhere will think of it as home.

[Sam B]

I think home is a complex issue, and has more than one level. I have a 'home' in NZ that I am starting to love, and I say I'm going 'home' at the end of the day, and it feels like home. My partner and children are there and wherever they are is always home to me.

However, I still think of England as 'home' at the moment too. I lived there for 35 years, I've lived here for 6 months. Give us a chance!! I like NZ lots, but it's not home yet. Maybe it will be one day though, it's going to take time. We went to see the Harry Potter film today, and when I saw the aerial shots of England at the start, my eyelids prickled, and I had the strongest feeling of homesickness - it's the familiarity and happy memories that are tied up with it.

[willsken]

I wonder if it makes a difference that my mum and dad have moved a few times since I left home and I have never lived in their house? Interesting.

[willsken]

I We went to see the Harry Potter film today, and when I saw the aerial shots of England at the start, my eyelids prickled, and I had the strongest feeling of homesickness - it's the familiarity and happy memories that are tied up with it.

Oh, Sam you've made me feel unsensitive! I didn't even notice it was the UK!:uhoh

[thezorbster]

I wonder if it makes a difference that my mum and dad have moved a few times since I left home and I have never lived in their house? Interesting.

OH stopped referring to Lancashire as home when his parents moved house. So although they only moved a few miles, the house had never been his home so he now refers to going back to 'Mum and Dad's'.

[KerryS]

This is definitely home, but I still call England home too - even though I have no house there, just lots of friends and family who will all welcome me into their homes. England is home because it's my roots and will always be part of me. NZ is home because it's where I live.

Sam, I cried watching About A Boy the other day - he walks around my old branch of Sainsburys at one point. That is tragic!

[willsken]

OH stopped referring to Lancashire as home when his parents moved house. So although they only moved a few miles, the house had never been his home so he now refers to going back to 'Mum and Dad's'.

Yes, I relate to that. Mum and dad's is what call their house. :)