[neil & bella]

hi guys just to get some feed back on living the dream, how many of you have had 2nd thoughts on going to nz and what do you do to convince yourselves its the right thing to do when the pull of nz is there but then there is the pull of family is there to.

[andreamatt]

Absolutely natural! I am currently loving Wellington (though have various other things going on here - see other posts!) and would like to think that it is going to be our home for a long, long while. However the pull of family is incredibly strong (my OH is an only child, both his parents died many years ago and he found it much easier to emotionally detach himself from his UK work colleagues, the few cousins he has there). I know my parents are having a hard time with this separation - from us, and their grandchildren - and most of the time I feel guilty. I feel strongly that NZ/Wellington has so much more to offer us than our previous life in backwater Devon, and I would be loathe to leave NZ but emails and long distance 'phone calls are no substitute for see my parents.

How do your family feel about you coming out here?

Nothing is for ever of course - could you come out here for, say, 2 years and see how it goes?

Andrea

[ruthyroo]

Nothing is for ever of course - could you come out here for, say, 2 years and see how it goes?

Andrea

We're pretty much doing this. We've been in NZ for three years, just the two of us, and with a first child on the way are planning to move back to the UK / Europe. NZ is good, and I can see the advantages of being here, but for us it just doesn't make up for the absence of grandparents and other family from our child's life. Our child will be an NZ citizen, we will both have our IRRVs so we can all come back in the future if we want to. It's just sooo far away fro the UK - and I don't want to have a phone / email relationship with the people I love most in the world!

[Familyofmonkeys]

We are probably a little unusual, but I don't think we have ever had second thoughts about coming here, once we had decided we were going to. We are both the more adventurous out of our siblings, and the most important people in the world are with us...our kids! Do miss family and friends (but not the day to day family squabbles), but we can't live our lives for them...we have to do what is right for us. Time will tell, but I believe real friends will stay in touch...they certainly have in the past, despite us living in different parts of UK, and some friends living overseas. When we do see them (even after a couple of years or so) it feels like we just saw them yesterday, not at all aukward.....long may this continue :)

[holland]

Oh my goodness, second thoughts regarding NZ whizz in and out all of the time throughout this process...The one thing that keeps me focussed is imagining myslef in a rocking chair in a rest home in the UK, saying to my great grandchildren , 'I wonder what would had happened if.....'

Id rather give it a go and fail!! ( hopefully we won't!!)

J xx

[Sarah Edburton]

Hi,

We're supposed to moving out late December and each day I either feel that I can't wait to get there or I don't want to go. My children (10 and 7) are particularly anti the move at the moment but a couple of weeks ago they were all for it so it's swings and roundabouts.

In my opinion the worst that can happen is we don't like it and we come back but so what? We'll hopefully have had some great experiences in between! And if we like it and stay then fab....

Sarah

[neil & bella]

great feed back thanks guys, i'm close to my parents and my wife is thinks of them as more her family than her own they say they will come out for 6months at a time which is great and would make the transition easier but afew months ago my mother said she doesn't want us to go, so its playing on the heart strings abit. I know we cant live our lives around what others want but it doesn't make a decision easier and i'm sure afew more people have been in this situation if only they could move there too, but they have been told they are too old (early 60's) and with 3 other son in the uk not much chance of them getting to stay in nz

[Graham Cross]

Gosh too old??? We are in our late sixties and are hoping to join our family very soon. We will be almost 70 by the time we get there and we are sure to be accepted as they say that the medicals are ok. I am sure that they will follow you when they can see what a good life you have over there especially for the children. That is what we think anyway

[leachio]

2nd thoughts, yip had plenty of those and decided better to try than not!

So we sold up, said goodbye, cried a river and came out in March. Now I am still crying rivers and plan to go home again. With no money and we will need to start from scratch on housing market, jobs etc etc but we will have our the most precious, pricesless family around us and hey we tried it :nice1 ,

[Myrkk]

yep, we have lots of second thoughts. Well not so much my hubbie as me. We don't live close to family but they do visit for a week or two at a time a couple of times a year. I can phone whenever I want and know they are there.

I worry about so much you wouldn't believe it but when I'm like that I sit down and write a list of what is important to me and what I'm looking for from NZ.

Spekaing to people helps too........ esp. the nice Kiwi at New Zealand house yesterday........ Aaron. He went through our application and chatted loads, it made us feel much better about it all.

And of course you guys on here are brilliant when you need an ear too so :cheers to you all

[kellyfamily]

Were 4 months in and no 2nd thoughts as yet. MIl came out with wife and im sure mil and fil will visit a lot. Miss my mum and brothers and sister and ive always had a close knit group of friends i grew up with including all my rugby pals.But i see my kids in school here hanging off playground in school running around with no fear , leaving car unlocked without fear, not stepping in dog pooh even silly things like sitting in the workshop on a friday night with the guys at work having a beer and sometimes even lighting the bbq there b4 i go home , or to the beach with kids anytime.
So go back to the abusive mums in the school playground , the hooded kids in the street who can say what they want to you with no fear,worrying if i put the burgular alarm on before i left and even getting home from the pub safely. Heck im staying put.
john