[thewoodies]

our parents and the childrens grandparents have all but one said they dont want us to go even though it is probably best for the grandchildren - im so stressed and feel bad enough as it is they are getting old - but our children have their whole lives ahead of them - still determined to go but how do you live with the guilt? one of them is being particularly awkward and he doesnt even live in the uk - comes back 4 weeks a year upsets everyone and goes back - trying to stay focused any advice would be good thanks

[jubjub]

I would take no notice of the one that does not even live in the UK!! Pot calling kettle black and all that, they moved away, why cant you?

Its hard, we still get the odd "I miss you and when am I going to see my grandson" we reply with, as soon as you get on a plane! (mainly from hubbys parents)

i dont think there is anyone on here that has not had the feelings of guilt and felt bad about leaving family/friends etc, its just a case of sticking to your guns and if you are sure this is the right move for you then go for it.

When you are talking about the move to them, just make sure you exude confidence in your decision and make as many plans as you can to keep in touch, teach them how to use a pc if necessary for emails/photos etc. You will miss them, no-one pretends otherwise, but its how you deal with it that matters, it can make or break your move.

[vixxann]

Hard one this with no real answer so I'll just give my advice as having same problem here :uhoh

We have tried not to "brag" about NZ too much - although its very tempting to talk about it all the time! - but when asked we've answered questions and tried to fight off the negativity best we can. Sometimes, when things have got just a bit too heated, I've just had to say perhaps its best we don't talk about it right now and let things calm down.

My parents are slowly getting used to the idea (we've been talking about it for a year and hope to go ASAP) but they certainly aren't happy about it. I hope they are thinking a little more positively about things now and they have mentioned once or twice about coming out to see us once we're there.

I know when the house actually sells and we book those flights its going to be hard times but we'll be as pro-active as we can to keep in touch and let the grandchildren contact them as much as possible (webcams, skype , msn etc) . But after all, and as you say, we are doing it for our childrens future and you have to hope grandparents realise that the bigger picture is most important.

Good luck and have a ((((((HUG))))))) :)

[thewoodies]

thanks feel better knowing we aren't the only ones will take your advice good luck with yours






I would take no notice of the one that does not even live in the UK!! Pot calling kettle black and all that, they moved away, why cant you?

Its hard, we still get the odd "I miss you and when am I going to see my grandson" we reply with, as soon as you get on a plane! (mainly from hubbys parents)

i dont think there is anyone on here that has not had the feelings of guilt and felt bad about leaving family/friends etc, its just a case of sticking to your guns and if you are sure this is the right move for you then go for it.

When you are talking about the move to them, just make sure you exude confidence in your decision and make as many plans as you can to keep in touch, teach them how to use a pc if necessary for emails/photos etc. You will miss them, no-one pretends otherwise, but its how you deal with it that matters, it can make or break your move.

[thewoodies]

will take your advice thanks feel better knowing we aren,t the only ones going through this !



Hard one this with no real answer so I'll just give my advice as having same problem here :uhoh

We have tried not to "brag" about NZ too much - although its very tempting to talk about it all the time! - but when asked we've answered questions and tried to fight off the negativity best we can. Sometimes, when things have got just a bit too heated, I've just had to say perhaps its best we don't talk about it right now and let things calm down.

My parents are slowly getting used to the idea (we've been talking about it for a year and hope to go ASAP) but they certainly aren't happy about it. I hope they are thinking a little more positively about things now and they have mentioned once or twice about coming out to see us once we're there.

I know when the house actually sells and we book those flights its going to be hard times but we'll be as pro-active as we can to keep in touch and let the grandchildren contact them as much as possible (webcams, skype , msn etc) . But after all, and as you say, we are doing it for our childrens future and you have to hope grandparents realise that the bigger picture is most important.

Good luck and have a ((((((HUG))))))) :)

[Belmont Babes]

It's a really tricky situation. Both sets of parents are being great about it but I can tell they are going to miss the grandchildren like mad. Thankfully both sides have other grandchildren which helps. Paul's parents have never flown in their lives so don't expect them to visit anytime soon, well we're not there yet but you know what I mean.

I always remember my Mum saying "Children don't belong to you, they are free to live the life they choose".

[BkyMonster]

I know mine will fuss, but I'll be buying them an upgraded computer with a webcam and teaching them how to use Skype and emphasizing it is FREE.
I plan to get a nice camera and send them videos and such as well.

[mgbridges]

Agree with what everyone else has said. Its hard, and you can't get away from the fact that family and friends will miss you - just like you will miss them. But... its your life and your kids future and your family is now you, your partner and your kids and you need to focus on whats good for them.

Once we had broken the news we found the best policy was to keep everyone informed with what stage of the process we were at so they didn't feel we were being secretive. We kept the lines of communication as open as possible and answered all and every question in as positive way as possible. We also stressed the fact that the world is a much smaller place these days and its not like it was years ago when when somebody got on a boat to NZ that was definitely the last time you would see them. You would also have to wait weeks for letters and book to make phone calls. If they don't have a PC or access to one already I'd get that sorted and spend as much time as possible showing them how to open digitial photo attachments, looking at Flickr, using Skype, MSN etc.

One other thing, if funds allow, could you possibly book tickets for them to come to see you about 6 months after you get here? That way they have no excuses - just a suggestion, you might want to wait longer before having visitors.

Good luck and know that you are not alone.
Anneliese

[nippa&pippa]

Before you knew it, they will be book flight to see all of you asap!!
My parents had done it once so far, but coming again on 19th oct with my grandma, since we only moved to NZ a year ago next month!! And my Mother-in-law is coming on 4th Oct, from emails and phone calls, we can tell she is getting very exciting!!!

[neil & bella]

I to have posted a similar question like this, and as much as i justify our reasons for wanting to emigrate for a better lifestyle we can easily find reason not to go such as leaving parents behind. Mine have told us there coming out to nz for 6 months at a time every year. It will probably be as cheap to stay in nz during the uk's winter as staying in the uk and another upside to this is that they will have 2 springs and 2 summers what a way to live

[Aussie Pom]

When I came over to Oz I didn't get have children and I was coming to get married etc. Jon was already here so in some ways the road was a little bit easier. Not having family here is definitely a double edged sword. Most of my family have been out to see us and so has my husband's. I do feel that over time the feeling changes and everyone becomes more accustomed to the situation. You will have to be very strong in the meantime if it is what you really want. It is a hard thing to do even without family who struggling with the issue. You probably need to reinforce the holiday idea (if that is what you would like them to do) and the there are also major steps forward with webcams etc that also help.
Good luck!!!
Gina