[andy480]

I am so determind about leaving the UK shortly, hopefully before i hit 45 years (dec 2009) but i am feeling guilty to my family

my mum... bless her she has been wonderful, the last 3 years more so, decorated my house through out,paid for new flooring (was more than a flight to NZ :eek: ) (i cannot decorate at all, just make mess!)

My kids :( daughter is 13, lad 16 but now he is working i hardly see him every fortnight, he comes round friday night then goes home saturday dinner on his moped. to go off roading with my ex's partner :confused: . My daughter comes round and sits on pc most of day/night on myspace! or watches MTV/ any music channel/ soaps although she reckons its cool if i go becuase "i can visit you and get away from me mum for a few months" she said, and also wants to see volcanos erupting lol!

My sister, again with out her help i would not have a tiled bathroom lol



If i was to sell my house i would end up with approx. £55K left over after debts paid. But would not be able to afford to buy or rent a house afterwards!

NZ appeals to me becuase of what i seen on telly and web... Canada is an option but a few problems... 1) it is cold!!!! 2) bears in back garden! 3) more than likely have to drive away into USA for upto 2 weeks at a time.

BTW i am an HGV truck driver.


So do i feel guilty? yes

Do i think i would have a better life in NZ? YES!
The main reason of wanting to move is that i feel that i work 50 to 60 hours just to pay mortgage,CSA, bill and debts with nothing left at end of month (apart from a tiny bit of lotto luck! for flight over next year)

As from what i read and hear NZ seems more relaxed,easygoing and a better quality of life

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

Sounds like you're goig through all the thoughts most of the restcof us have had.

Only you can decide what's best for you. If you do go for it there are plenty on here who can offer advice.

[tigerlily]

... with nothing left at end of month .....

I'm not sure that moving to NZ will make this any different for you. I think many people here on this board find they are just scraping by, with nothing left for things like paying the doctor or dentist or pressies for the kids. AND you would not have the support of all those wonderful people who you mention above. Before you leap into this large and expensive move, perhaps look around and see what you could do to change your life where you are. It does look pretty in the TV spots, but it's much less pretty in an uninsulated house with no central heating.

[wiki]

Welcome on here - ask any questions, and we'll all be sure to try and help.

One thing to consider is that your CSA payments may stay the same pound amount which will be a lot harder to pay in NZ dollars than it is in pounds.

That would be a big concern for me - once we get there (in two weeks) I don't want to be paying off anything in UK pounds because it's going to be a very painful hole in the finances.

best of luck

[Debbie P.]

Wiki's point about CSA payments is a concern. Poor you. It's a very difficult decision to make - I know because we have been waiting for a few years until hubby no longer has to make payments for his daughter. Bit easier for us, as she's almost 17, but he still has to pay until her 19th birthday.

Is there any chance you could wait until your children are a bit older? Or would it be impossible to get in at that stage? Believe me, I am very sympathetic, as we have waited for years - partly due to CSA payments and partly due to OH not wanting to leave before his daughter is old enough to come and visit him by herself.

And that's the other issue - do your children know about your plans and how do they feel about it? And how would you really feel about being the other side of the world from them? Flying back regularly might not be financially possible.

Such a dilemma... I really feel for you and hope you can find some solutions. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[victoria]

Following on from Debbie I wonder if a change of lifestyle closer to home would be a consideration (ie Europe mainland) to give you a taste of living in a completely different environment. Also I know HGV driver's are not the best paid here for the enormous amount of hours they put in. Maybe a short term compromise on area may help with you coming to terms with feeling of settlement. I sincerely wish well.

[andy480]

Many thanks every one,

Yes my kids and rest of my family know about my plans and are 100% behind me... and my daughter more so,and she realises that she would only see me at least once a year july to september holidays, she does know a couple of ex school people there and recieved emails.

Where i mainly feel guilty is at where my mum has helped me financialy regards decorating and new flooring for house, something i could not afford at the time and she will not take a penny of me towards the cost

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages

[zardell]

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages



With the low NZ salaries, it's probably just as well !!!

Have you any idea where you would like to settle and if you have, have you researched the job market there??

Any questions, just shout.

Good luck with all your plans,

Julie

xx

[andy480]

Ta Julie,

I am think north island mainly.. I keep checking seek website to keep an eye on job market.

Next year i am coming for 2 weeks to visit, and if i like NZ i will put my house up for sale, once sold come over for 6 months and look for job (hopefully before i hit 45!)

[Debbie P.]

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages

CAN'T THEY??? I didn't know that. I think we probably hadn't actually checked, we just assumed they would pursue us (not that OH wouldv'e stopped paying anyway). I suppose they would just sting you for back payment once you returned?:confused:

[richard]

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages

The CSA might not be able to but you are likely to still end up being made to pay if the ex goes through the courts:-

http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/remo-countries.asp

[SarahEDH]

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages

Was about to post on "reciprocal enforcement of support orders" when Richard beat me to it.

Many countries have these schemes in place and they do work, although it's a hassle for everyone involved. Worth noting -- family court judges really don't like having these cases come before them -- penalties for non-payment of support can be steep, and the notoriety very embarrassing --

[andy480]

dont get me wrong, i am paying for my kids but cut long story short, i was out of work for 6 months (sick leave) but was still expected to pay £300 a month, couldnt afford to pay that and mortgage so cancelled payments and tried to get reassesed, only for CSA to add it on to arrears...still fighting them after 4 years :(

[SarahEDH]

Your experience with CSA is similar to how most U.S. courts address payments due during a sick leave. Kids' needs for support don't go away even during the time when a parent can't pay it, so the court would expect the parent to get caught up when she/he goes back to work. Otherwise it's not fair on the other parent who has to make up the shortfall, or on the kids if they have go without the money completely.

I don't mean to offend you, but it seems to me that instead of fighting with CSA for years, maybe it would be better to arrange a reasonable schedule for catching up on the payments?

[wiki]

Regards CSA once you have emigrated or working for a foreighn employer not based in UK the CSA cannot touch your wages

But whether it goes through CSA or not, would you not still intend to be financially supportive of the child who isn't working? That's still going to eat a hole in NZ wages if you are paying a reasonable level in UK pounds.

And no matter what the CSA can do or what country you are in, you're still a parent and responsible for your under age offspring.

Your mum sounds like a real star, so another thing to consider is that it costs a bigger % of wages for international flights from NZ, so if you wanted to go back and see her and your kids, it's a fair whack and probably not something you could do every year (unless truckers get paid a lot more than I think they do)

I'd suggest you have a look at a few NZ-based airline sites and price up possible costs.

[andy480]

Also forgot to mention.. here in the UK out of the £300 i pay CSA my ex wife get £50 a month... the rest goes to the government :mad:

[snowy747]

There are very few places in the world that don't have a reciprocal agreement re maintenance payments. Good luck with your plans. I totally understand what you mean about payments going to the Government and I don't see why you should be paying for when you were sick given your payments are offset against the ex wife's state benefits. ho hum.

Ali

[Debbie P.]

Andy, have they put you on a different tax code due to making payments? I know it sounds obvious, but my OH didn't find out he hadn't been shifted to the new code until his daughter was 12, and as they will only give rebates going back 7 years, he missed 5 years of rebate :mad:

Yes, I know we're stooopid, but we're not very savvy about tax and we just didn't realise! No wonder my OH was struggling financially for so many years. :(

Just thought I'd mention it, just in case someone else has been stung by total CSA incompetence.