[Kerry and David]

Just hitting the stage of 'why are we doing this!'

One word.. family!!

Our family is made up of hubby, 4 step children (17,15,13,10) and my son (3) and me and we have all made the decision to move to NZ or so I had thought...

17, 10 year old yes from the start, 13 year old wants to stay with mum until done at school and then come out for college, 15 year old no way and 3 year old - no choice!

Then 15 year old says yes, 13 year old maybe now, and everyone else fine.

So party of 7 all ok

Confused yet:confused:

Now.. 17 year old has met a lady:roll two weeks in to the relationship and cant leave mates, friends etc..

Have politely and patiently said that we are not moving until Sep08 so plenty of time but no go... I know it will all change but its hard work.

And now I am boring you:o sometimes it's hard to juggle everyones emotions
and keep calm especially with such a long way to go until we arrive.

By that point maybe it will be one slightly disturbed 32 year old with dog and cat for company :exit

[Lara Croft]

Oh dear, poor you! How far down the line are you with the application process? Surely you could just include everyone at the start, and then take them out again nearer the time?

Jane

[holland]

Oh Kerry,

I really feel for you, must be sooo difficult having to juggle eveyone's feelings...but remember...mum and dad have feelings too!!! I would just carry on as you are, and as you had planned to, as with teenagers they can change their minds on an hourly basis!!

If you worry about what they`are going to think next year, or whether they are going to change their minds again...it won't change what they think or feel...I know its easy for me to say, as I am not in your situation but I'd plod along and what will be will be....I can see your probably 'tutting' at this thinking...if only!!

How are you feeling? Are you still keen to go?

J xx

[jent]

I'm sorry! I hope they are not giving you too hard a time. If it is any consolation, my brother and sister-in-law went to NZ 5 years ago. They have two daughters who were in their early teens and a step-son who was 17. He was obnoxious to begin with. He gradually began to see the benefits of the move and really loves it there now. The first year or so, he came back to SA for his holidays, but no longer. The diecision IS Yours to make. Stand firm. Your have their best interest at heart. Always remember that! They will get over this. I promise you.

[Steadybears]

What a comfort Jent to read your thread - we have 18 yr old who was due to start Uni in 2008 along with his friends from Pre primary - and we now moving him away - hope we doing the right thing. Not an easy age I know - so hope I will be able to get a few others, his age, who have been in his position to show him around and meet some his own age.
Thanks again- we only doing what we think is the best for him - with all the nasties happening here in SA.

Jayne

[Kerry and David]

Thanks for your comments and kind words!

Jade - yes we are still going to go for it, we will complete paperwork for all of the boys and then see who wants to come on the final head count!
I know it sounds mean but if the 17 year old decided to stay we would still go as our way of thinking is that he will be leading his own life very soon and intends to travel anyway.

We are a very close family and even though I am stepmum, I dont ever think of the boys as not my own so its hard to think that we wont stay together.

But, look how its changed already!! I'm sure their minds will all change a fair few times more before we arrive next year!

My next problem is that Hubby has booked to fly out at the end of March for interviews etc and I was going to fly out in May to visit Auckland etc. We were going to fly seperate so not to leave the kids. The inlawas have now said they will pay for my flight and look after the kids so David and I can meet up in Auckland, I would be away for 9 days, so should I leave them and do a grown up only trip, take the 3 year old with me or do it seperate?

Ahhh, its a tough one:wah

K x

[Familyofmonkeys]

Thanks for your comments and kind words!

Jade - yes we are still going to go for it, we will complete paperwork for all of the boys and then see who wants to come on the final head count!
I know it sounds mean but if the 17 year old decided to stay we would still go as our way of thinking is that he will be leading his own life very soon and intends to travel anyway.

We are a very close family and even though I am stepmum, I dont ever think of the boys as not my own so its hard to think that we wont stay together.

But, look how its changed already!! I'm sure their minds will all change a fair few times more before we arrive next year!

My next problem is that Hubby has booked to fly out at the end of March for interviews etc and I was going to fly out in May to visit Auckland etc. We were going to fly seperate so not to leave the kids. The inlawas have now said they will pay for my flight and look after the kids so David and I can meet up in Auckland, I would be away for 9 days, so should I leave them and do a grown up only trip, take the 3 year old with me or do it seperate?

Ahhh, its a tough one:wah

K x

Do it by yourself....it can be hard work tagging a 3 year old around to see stuff....especially one adjusting to the time difference. 9 days isn't all that long, and if you want a good look round, it would only bore young children anyway.

[Kerry and David]

I did think that but it's just the thought of leaving them and going such a long way without them:wah
I know it wouldn't be any fun for little one especially as we will be either in the car looking at areas or visiting schools etc..

I guess as we have the offer of the inlaws we should just do it:yes