[twinkledoc]

Hi all,

am I glad to come across this all from google search and then bang.
Hey just joined my hubby in welly with our son 16 and daughter 7.
our daughter is settling in well but our son is making us feel like it was a wrong move. Hey we're from Northampton and our son was at NSB.
Why did we move? my hubby and I are both medics and we wanted family time and see our kids grow, job security and better life style.
our marriage was on the window sill ready to take off, becos our working hours were such that we never saw each other. our kids spent more time at child minders.
difficult on our son becos he just got 8 A* and a place for 6th form at NSB
but if i stayed another 2 years in th UK i was going to have a nervous break down:mad: . Our friends offered to keep him but we thought the best was for him to be with us to get to know each other as afamily again. Plis help me how i can help this boy as we want to enjoy our time here. anyone with teens and any ideas what you do to help. yes am a medic but when it comes to family my advice fails me.:o

Twinkle

[victoria]

My family immigrated when I was 15 from Canada to the UK. I was an advanced student before but I couldn't settle into the school in the UK. Serious culture shock for me coming from a one horse town to the teenage delights of London. It took me nearly a year to come to terms & emotionally longer. Making new friends helped enormously but starting work asap school allowed was better. Also,wrong age for mood swings (ask any parent of teenagers) etc. I'd lost my closest confidantes & took it out on my parents as a result. Made up for it when I grew up a bit though. I don't know if this helps, it's just that even to this day I remember what it was like.

[twinkledoc]

Victoria thanks for insight! Soemetimes i dont know wether am coming or going. Oneday our son is ok the next its hoo haa and then tears of you have ruined my life. We have tried to explain the reasons but sometimes seem to fall on deaf ears. Thanks again victoria

[Familyofmonkeys]

Just a though....
Perhaps if you get him into a school that does Cambridge A Levels (similat to UK), it might make him feel like he has something 'familiar' in his life apart from his family? I think at that age, you are so geared up to GCSE's and choosing what A Levels etc you are going to do, you think you have your life sorted. When that is suddenly gone, I imagine it is like losing direction in a new system you do not really understand, without all your friends going through the same thing. Hope he makes friends soon as starts to realise that NZ offers all sorts of oppertunities to try things that were not accessible in UK. It will just take time...hang in there.

[twinkledoc]

hey thanks , but which schools offer A -levels We spent 3 weeks in September going round independent schools and only the samuel marsden girls school offered UK A -levels. Becos of course he 's a boy he could not get in , imagine I lost it and begged the school to take exception that's how desparate I had been - was a non starter
I do agree NZ has so much to offer. The kids have now alot of space and alot of outdoor activities. There are times when he does not even want to come out for activities " teen hormones"

[IanW99]

Hi Twinkle,

Don't you just love teenagers :no

When we arrived our eldest son (17) spent a year telling us that we have ruined his life and he wanted to go back to the UK every day. He has since started University and settled down with a group of friends and now says that he never wants to go back even for a visit - so simple answer you will never be able to understand teenagers.

Has he made any friends in Whitby yet? and what school is he now going to?

Ian

[willsken]

Hi

Just wanted to add that I really feel at his age there is only one solution..... time. My eldest is a teenager and although we didn't get the "you've ruined my life" stuff, he was an absolute nightmare for the first few months. In fact we have been here nearly a year and he's only in the last few weeks gone back to normal and seemed happy (apart from the usual teenage delights!:roll )

[Sam B]

God, I'm dreading my children becoming teenagers - eldest turns 11 on Sunday, not long now - eek.

[Andy&Carol]

Hi Twinkle, no matter what job we do our own children always baffle us! Emotions and stuff just get in the way sometimes! I'm in a similar situation, although we're still in the UK at present, our 18yr old is reluctant, the UK is his comfort zone. I'm sure things will work for your son out once he gets a group of friends, I think teenagers get their security from their friendship base - certainly that's the one reason why Callum is reluctant. If you want to PM me I'll ask Callum or my older son Ryan (19) to drop him a line. I know it's not the same as his own group of friends, but a network of cyber friends may just help a bit!

Good luck, Carol x

[victoria]

I think the suggestion is from Andy & Carol is worth a shot. Just to share total understanding of how you feel with like minded is a start.

[gil]

Hi twinkle, Our 16 year old daughter gave us the whole "you're ruining my life" bit for about 18 months before we came here and HATED it with a vengeance at first. To make it worse, her older sister (then 18) chose to go back to the UK so she was on her own (in her eyes). Anyway, after about six months she conceded that it is OK here and now (it'll be a year on Nov 20) she loves it and thinks it's better than the UK. Just give your son time and accept that he'll have ups and downs (sometimes B-I-G swings!). Not easy on the parents, but then who ever said having kids was going to be easy?

She's bright and is at a state school here that offers the Cambridge exams. I'm afraid I don't know about Wellington; have you googled?

Let us know how it goes.

Gil

[twinkledoc]

Wow , you guys are great, Thanks everybody! We searched a lot on google and just calling up nearly all state schools and private schools in Wellington. We probably need more infor from the people in wellington. At the moment he's at a state school but they do NCEA. If we could get a school with A-levels that would go a long way.
Any parents in welly with teens ?

Many Many Thanks

[jackie m]

Hi Twinkle can't help you with teenage children as I have all this to come, but just to say I'm sure it will all work out.
Jackie

[gil]

http://www.acsnz.org.nz/schools.html
This link lists all the NZ schools who offer Cambridge qualifications. You've probably seen it, but I thought it might be useful to others too...
Gil

PS I've psoted this separately on the Education board too