[Debbie P.]

Hi everyone, with apologies for the long message!

Well, I'm 36 weeks pregnant now and bubba has finally positioned him/herself in the right direction, but I've got GD and instead of being able to go to the local midwifery-led unit to have a waterbirth, I've been told that I'm under consultant care and will need to go to a high risk unit at a hospital further away. It's supposed to be a centre of excellence... well, I went for a unit tour last night and I can't say I was impressed. Tiny rooms with just beds and lots of scary-looking machines, and not the remotest attempt to promote anything natural - no exercise balls, floor mats, easy chairs etc. It looks like I will have to go on all fours on the bed (I refuse to lie down in the traditional position), which will be scary as the bed is quite high and narrow - I'll be scared of falling off!

Anyway, there's a low risk unit immediately next door with waterbirth facilities. When I asked whether I'd be able to use those facilities unless there was a genuine concern about the labour, the midwife said it was up to my consultant (who I have never even met).

My question is this: what exactly can my consultant do if I refuse to go into the high risk unit without him providing a good enough reason? Can the midwives actually refuse to provide care for me in the water? I know of 1 'high risk' woman who was adamant that she was going to give birth in the low risk unit (and did with no ill effects), but that was 15 years ago and the situation may have changed.

I'm trying to get to see my consultant at the moment. So far, I've seen a registrar who said (rather patronisingly) "I'm sure you are sensible and will do what's best for your baby", which gives me the impression that they don't actually have the right to tell me that I've GOT to give birth in the high risk unit.

If any of you are midwives who have worked in the UK (or women who also had GD), I'd appreciate any advice you have. I really don't want to risk the safety of my baby, but I'm not convinced that a high intervention birth is going to be helpful to him/her either. Right now I'm feeling very stressed and tearful about the whole thing and am finding it hard to sleep at night, which probably isn't helping my baby much. I can't talk to my OH about it much, as he has his own health worries to contend with as well at the moment. I'm worried that I might be suffering from antenatal depression, but it might simply be the stress of this situation. Any advice gratefully received!

[lockstock]

Cheer up Debbie - you shouldn't have to be worrying about this. I can't help but pm my daughter on this forum 'andbarrel' who's a midwife in the UK (only just about qualified now but she'll be probably more up to date than some). I hope all goes well. Keep smiling - the next 35 years are the worst!!

[minnieuk]

Nobody can make you do anything - not your consultant not your midwife. They can advise you but the decision is yours. If you would prefer to go to the normal unit and try for a more natural delivery then tell them so. What you have said about the proximity of them sounds very reasonable to me - just tell you consultant this.

When I had my youngest son 12 years ago I wanted a home birth and had to 'survive' a great deal of bullying to get what I wanted but at the end of the day they have no right to force you to do anything and they know this. Fortunately at the time I was involved with the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) and they were very supportive - if you're not already in contact with them it is well worth giving them a ring for some support. You don't have to go to antenatal classes with them to ask for their support in getting the birth you want. One of their local antenatal teachers will know all the local delivery options and will fight your corner for you if need be.

[Familyofmonkeys]

Debbie, as has been said, no one can force you do do anything....it is your decision. I know you are not planning a homebirth, but the UK homebirth website has links to loads of research about risks....might be worth a read. If you are concerned, get in touch with you superintendant of midwives NOW, and discuss your wishes, so you are not pressured into situation you do not want when the time comes. Or contact AIMS for advice.

Here are links:

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/

www.aims.org.uk/

[Big Puku]

Hi Debbie
I've had GD with my last two children (diet controlled),really wanted a water birth but didn't get much choice.I had to be induced at 38 weeks with both of them because of their size.Really happy I was in the high risk unit as one had breathing difficulties once born,and unstable blood sugars, and the last one I had an emergency section with because she tried to come out sideways *ouch*
It really does depend on what's out there and how much help you can get if you have difficulties during labour.For me,once I was in labour I could care less where I was or who was watching :D
Good luck with the pregnancy and don't stress too much.

Big Puku's OH

[Debbie P.]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your support and advice. It makes me feel less lonely and I will definitely investigate the links. :nice1

I finally spoke to a friendly midwife yesterday, who is going to arrange for me to see my consultant and negotiate my birth plan with him. She said he's a really nice person, so fingers crossed!

[JoanneG]

Ditto - no-one can make you do anything you don't want to do! Don't let condescending consultants put you off. Stand your ground. This is YOUR body and YOUR baby. Your are the last person in the world who would put your baby at risk! Don't be afraid to say so.

The problem is that once you are in labour, it can be like being in an another dimension. You are vunerable and you are going to need support from people who know what YOU want.

The water birth can be difficult as not all midwives are confident with it - it all depends on who you get at the time. A Doula can help with this, see link below.

Yes, there is a risk that your baby may be large with GT, this will depend on how well your blood sugars have been controlled through your pregnancy.

Your OH really needs to know what you want. If you don't feel you can rely on him perhaps you might want to consider using a Doula or another family member or friend you can trust? You would need to find a Doula that you are comfortable with. She would also be able to help with logistal things at home and bottle/breastfeeding afterwards - and she will have more time. I have met a few Doula's, they do it because they love it.

See here for more info on doulas: http://www.doula.org.uk/
See here for Breastfeeding help: http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/ or call 0844 412 4664. This number will put you in touch with your local counsellor.

A word here for our UK midwives. Our midwives are (mostly) absolutely fantastic, dedicated, undervalued, underpaid women. Unfortunately, the system that we are all looking to escape dictates their jobs. There are not enough of them and they are struggling with massive work loads.

So to any midwives reading this. You are amazing. Thank you.

Finally, even the best planned births sometimes, don't go to plan. If this happens to you don't let it spoil the first few days with your baby.
They are the most precious days of your life.

Warmest wishes
Joanne
(Mum of 4)

[Debbie P.]

Thanks Joanne. Totally agree about the midwives I have seen - they are fantastic. It's only the obstetric registrar that I've had hassles with so far. It's so different from my mum's day - her doctor didn't want her to give birth at home but the midwife told him where to go! It's a shame they don't seem to have the same power these days.

My poor OH - I made him sound unsympathetic. He's totally supportive of me; it's just that he's got to have an urgent major operation BEFORE my labour. Never rains but it pours, eh. :(

[Kerry and David]

Hi Debbie,

I had different circumstances to you but did have a difficult pregnancy. I wanted a water birth at home, had the pool booked and was all set to go, then had to be induced in hospital at 38 weeks. I had to be hooked up to the monitor throughout labour but still managed to move around quite well as like you did't fancy the standard position:)
To make it better I also took in some home comforts such as a ball, extra cussions, something to kneel on, cooling face mist etc just to try and make it a bit more pleasant.

My friend had a baby at a hospital in your area and they were very good.

Good luck!

Kerry x