[thezorbster]

That time already and personally it's been a bit of a mixed bag of emotions. The first 2 months were very difficult for me as OH was working away. Arriving in a new country and then losing the one person you really need to support you through it is not the best start to a new life, but it was a decision we had taken in order to enable us to live where we wanted to live. We knew he would have to go and knew he would be back. And he is!:D So, family life is now feeling a bit more normal and settling into a routine.

We've found a rental in a tiny hicksville village, 2 mins walk from the school our daughter has now started in so location wise it's great. It's not however our 'home', and a home is what I feel I really need to have right now. Thought I'd be ok renting for quite some time and we had intended building but our feelings are changing and we're now looking at properties, which unfortunately are very expensive around here.

We've found people to be friendly, welcoming and very willing to help out and have come across acts of kindness that it would be very rare to see back in the UK nowadays. I feel quite lonely still but know it will take time to make true friends. I'm naturally shy so always knew that would be an issue and OH and I do like our own company to a large extent, we've never really been social animals so putting ourselves out there does not come naturally to us. I am going to make a determined effort to get involved with the school so hope that will be a way in. We have occasional pangs of homesickness but it's not the UK we miss, just the ability to see family which is obviously the main thing for most people.

These are the things we knew we'd struggle with but despite that we have no regrets at this stage whatsoever.

To sum it up, our little girl stated at the weekend that she was 'really, really enjoying this holiday Mummy' to which we replied, 'it's not a holiday - it's your life!'. :)

[willsken]

Thanks for that. The early days aren't easy are they, especially hard for you on your own. I still feel strange at times thinking that this is it... I live here permanently now. I totally get where you are coming from regarding buying a house. We were intending to rent for 6 months before buying, I lasted 3 weeks and TBH it's the best thing we did, really helped that settling process. The friend thing will work it's self out, just a time thing.

Where are you living?

[M&J]

I know exactly how you feel, we are in a similar position and have been here 5 months. Finding the making friends hard as you I'm a bit shy but we are hoping it will come. We don't have children either so it getting to know people through them is not an option :( .

I also agree on the house front too, thank fully we move into our own house in 3 weeks time, I'm them hoping we can get to know some of the neighbours and locals.

I'm sure in time it will all come together at least the sun is shining, always makes me feel better.

Jo

[Sam B]

I know you're not supposed to say "I know how you feel" because you never know how someone else is really feeling - but I DO know how you feel!! All the things that you are struggling with are the same things that I found difficult, as you may remember from my early posts after I had arrived.

I really thought we could stay in a rental for at least a year, but you really realise how important it is to have your own home very quickly don't you? Especially when everything else around you is unfamiliar.

I can really reassure you on the friends front - it does happen, but gradually. I don't like meeting loads of new people at once, and despite lots of advice on this forum to accept every invitation, I chickened out of a lot of early social events, but it doesn't matter too much, because gradually I have built up my networks, and met people I liked and one day I realised I didn't feel so lonely any more. This will happen to everyone in the end, whether they're shy or outgoing. It just takes time, like Willsken said.

I was really feeling quite mixed up at 3 months because I felt like I should really have felt more settled and happy by then, but actually I think it needs quite a bit more time, and a place of your own.

Good luck with it all!

[Andy-Dee]

Hi S & P

So glad things are working out well for you now. Hope you let us share your house hunting adventures.

Good Luck
D

[marcia]

What a wonderful post!

I agree with a lot of the things that have already been said, about feeling more settled once you have your own home, its putting down those roots in a way and feeling like you belong because you own something here!

I've been lucky in way having the children to be able to help those friendships, and of course our stock car racing. But one thing that is still hard is the fact that you don't have a history with anyone here, you can't say to them 'do you remember when we ...........' However I say this to people all the time, good friendships are like wine - they take time to mature, and thats what you have to give it - time!

Good luck with the next 3 months! :clap

PS - you haven't put in your location on your profile!!

[Familyofmonkeys]

To sum it up, our little girl stated at the weekend that she was 'really, really enjoying this holiday Mummy' to which we replied, 'it's not a holiday - it's your life!'. :)

I love the way kids say what they think.....:D

[vixxann]

our little girl stated at the weekend that she was 'really, really enjoying this holiday Mummy' to which we replied, 'it's not a holiday - it's your life!'. :)


lovely :)

and whenever you get those blue moments you should remember that - you are giving her a wonderful life and fantastic opportunities. You know yourself that things for you (friends, house etc) will all settle and become right given time - but your daughter is having that great life right now. Well done on 1st 3 months - cannot wait to hear how your house hunting goes .
Vicki

[Kerry and David]

Thanks for your post and good luck to you and your family over the next few months:)
Kerry

[speckythecky]

Can't believe its 3 months already Zorb, but we aren't far behind you. Totally agree about the living in a rental situation, cant wait to get our own place. We are currently in a bedsit and our furniture has gone into storage, so we don't have the comfort of our owns things with us. Glad OH is back with you and you are back in your family unit. I found it hard enough just having the daytime on my own, having him away for weeks must have been really difficult

[Pip]

yep..having your own place makes a huge difference in feeling settled. We were going to rent for six months and three weeks after arriving, found ourselves house hunting. 10 weeks after arriving, we moved into our new place and then the following day, our container which has been in storage for two weeks ( well - you can't have everything to plan!) was delivered. we've been here just over eight months and for us, having our own stuff, bringing our cat from the UK and having our own home (which we love like I never loved any of my houses in the UK)) has helped us tremendously.

I know not everyone is the same and some people arrive with a suitcase and that works for them, but thats what we needed.

Would still like to know a few more people (in fact Kiwi's, as most of our friends are Brits - but we are getting there). I also remind myself that we can't expect to recreate everything in the UK, that we had built over years and years, in particular friendships, at the drop of a hat! - its going to take time and patience! (v.hard for an aries :laugh )

[pinkpiggy]

Hi Sandra, great post. Those first few months can be quite difficult and I don't envy you having had Paul away too. I've been there and done that while we were in the UK and it was hard enough then (I was at home, OH working away), I can't imagine doing it when you first arrive in a new country.

I agree on the house front, we've been in a rental for 6 months now and are just trying to decide whether to stay where we are or look for our own home. Needless to say Sam is happy to staying and I'm the one pushing for our own home.

Best wishes for you and your family. Hope you feel more settled soon.