[Natalieb]

Hi Everyone,

We live in Manchester with our 3 children (our fourth due in Feb 2008). We have been on this UK to NZ rollercoaster now for many months. Our first few months deciding if it is the right thing to do for our family?? NZ seems to tick many boxes for everyone in our family.

Our whole move has been put on hold because of difficulty selling our property in the UK.


I dont think the fact the house hasnt sold has been such a bad thing as this has given us more time to think about the move and whether its right for us. We have never been to NZ so know its a risk. We can research, research and research but the bottom line is we still havent had any time on NZ soil. We are planning to move whilst our four children are young to help them adapt more (9, 5, 2 and new baby). I am a very organised person but no matter how organised I am what if we set foot onto NZ soil and think 'oh know this is a mistake and we want to go back'. Its too difficult to predict emotions/feelings, the experience will answer alot for us all.

Based on these thoughts we have decided to sell and go over on a 6 week recci, and possibly not returning back to the UK. If we find work and an area to live then we will stay. I know the answers to our worries would not be solved within 6 weeks but think it will help alot. I read so often how people think its wonderful and would never come back to the UK. Then I read how its not all its cracked up to be and people return. Based on this we have to see for ourselves.

If in 50 years time Im a little old lady sat in a chair in the UK happy and content at least we will have been and seen NZ for ourselves and say no, the UK was better for everyone.

I would love some advice and tips on Recci's, what people did, where they went, how they felt on their trip. Did their trip bring any new hurdles which were not even considered before?

Thanks

Natalie

[river11]

Natalie

I cannot blame you, I've never been to NZ and also have 4 kids between 5 and 14, but without doubt will go before we make the plunge. Holiday or not it will give you a sense of the whole thing. I've been to plenty of holiday destinations and had a fantastic time but know deep down I'd never want to live in the place.

Good luck

R

[Belmont Babes]

Hi Natalie
My name is also Natalie, I have two children 10 and 8, haven't set foot on NZ soil either and house sale is the only thing holding us up. What a lot of similarities?!
I can't believe what an emotional rollercoaster this process has been. Most days I feel that I can't wait for the house to sell so that we can give it a whirl BUT I also have days when I feel rather worried about the whole lot. Will we like it? How will I get on without family? Will we earn enough to live? Yes I have done as much research as I possibly can but nothing like actually living there to prove/disprove the facts. I do know that I would rather prove that it wasn't for us than forever wonder "what if ?"
Keep in touch. Have you seen the house selling thread? Are you on the market?

[nickydwuk]

We are in a similar position in that we have never been to NZ but have done loads of research. We have not yet put the house on the market but will do in the new year. The difference between us is that we know if we move to NZ we cannot afford to come back. We will have no jobs to return to and not enough money to buy a house. So we know if we move it is for good. I am lucky in the fact that I already have a job waiting in NZ so would not be taking such a risk as others when we finally move. I admire anyone who up sticks without a job to go to on the other side.

My OH & I both have days when we wonder if we are doing the right thing - OH more than me - but as natalieb says - I don't want to be in the UK when I am 80 wondering 'what if...'

So good luck to all who are embarking on the journey of a lifetime - may we all arrive safely.

[JJG]

We were in a slightly different boat, as in we could sell the house and I had a job offer etc. Then instead of going for it we took some money against the house as it was booming and came over to have a look.
To cut a long story short, we came over I had some interviews, loved it and came back home and the housing market had slowed. It then took over 12 months to sell at a much reduced price.
My gut instinct at the time was to just go for it but we let the mind rule and the rest is history.
We are here now loving it, but financially worse off than if we had just said lets do it.
With regard to the recci you need to have a good idea of where you think you can find work and have access to all the things you are moving for.

[Smiler]

If in 50 years time Im a little old lady sat in a chair in the UK happy and content at least we will have been and seen NZ for ourselves and say no, the UK was better for everyone.

I would love some advice and tips on Recci's, what people did, where they went, how they felt on their trip. Did their trip bring any new hurdles which were not even considered before? Thanks Natalie

Hi Natalie

It's been a long time dream of my OH's to move to the Pacific (preferably Vanuatu :uhoh) and when he mentioned moving to NZ one year prior to the reccie trip, I flatly refused. All the usual reasons, missing family etc. So he let me think about and I slowly I came round and agreed to the reccie trip.

So we came on a 4 week trip to the NI only, knowing it was likely OH would find work in AKL or Welly and not wanting to waste too much time with touristy things. We figured if we liked it enough to move here, we could be tourists later.

While here we did normal everyday things, like supermarket shopping and talked to as many people as we could about their lives here. OH also met job contacts. It is difficult to not be in 'holiday mode' but we tried hard to look through the dazzling scenery and at the reality of living here, costs of food, transport etc.

I knew before long that I could make the giant step and I cried at Auckland airport at the thought of going home and telling everyone (and most of all at the thought of packing up and moving again), we'd already moved 4 times in as many years at that point anyway. I wasn't prepared for the reaction from our families and that still hurts. Once my in law's had been for a visit they understood more about our life here and the reasons for the move.

When we told friends etc, not one person was negative. Many people said they wished they had the opportunity or that their parents had talked about emigrating when they were younger and never had the guts to do it. We were determined not to be like that and sitting in our rocking chairs in the OPH, thinking what if!

I thought I could cope with homesickness, but it was the hardest thing ever. I wasn't prepared for the crushing heartache of missing my son and family. I mean, I knew it would be bad but not that bad. I don't miss our UK lives, just our families.

I was petrified at the thought of starting a new career, which I have done and it wasn't half as painful as I imagined. I was very happy in my UK job, despite all the normal groans of long hours etc and really never wanted to do anything else.

We had plans for our UK future before NZ, but we now have a totally different life here in NZ, even better that we planned or could have dreamt of.

Being pessimistic and if it all went bottoms up, we've have a great time so far and will never regret making the move. My only wish is that my son would move out here too, but I'm a selfish old Mummy! :laugh

All I can say is go for it! Until you make the move, you'll never know.............................................. ......

[Lupin]

I am a very organised person but no matter how organised I am what if we set foot onto NZ soil and think 'oh know this is a mistake and we want to go back'. Its too difficult to predict emotions/feelings, the experience will answer alot for us all.

10 months after arriving here with my little family and many chats with emigrants later (some have been here decades, some only a few months), I can almost guarantee you WILL feel like that at some point (and likely several points!). It's what you do next that matters ....

Good luck :cheers

[Sam B]

Well we came without a recce and with just a few months of research, and it's all worked out ok so far, despite lots of wobbly moments. You can't really know until you've tried it for at least a few months, maybe a few years?

[incredible hulse]

After being here almost 2 years still not sure if it's the right move or not. Lots we could possibly regret but rather see it as one of life's experiences and if it doesn't work out it's one that can be chalked off the list.

At the end of the day there's always a departures gate and all we would have lost is a few quid. What we have gained is better than that

[cathgates]

We are putting our house on the market first week in January. We decided to make the move to NZ in the summer. We have never been to NZ, and this is something that my 21 year old son cannot understand, that we can move half way round the world after never having been before, but as I said to Him, I don't like it here, so I won't be any worse of in NZ from that point of view. The only reservation I have is leaving family behind. I want to move to NZ, and know that my 3 boys, Mum and Dad, brother and sister in law, niece and 2 nephews are arriving 3 weeks later!! BUT, I know they aren't.
This move is about us, myself and my other half Karl.
I have been getting a little emotional just lately, this is after all our last christmas in the UK. I bought a calendar for my eldest son the other week, we are very close, lots of hugs and "I love you's". The front cover says 'To My Son with Love'. Each month has a different verse. I read 'February' in the card shop:
My Beautiful Son
If ever things are not
going well for you
and you have some problems to solve
If ever you are feeling confused
and don't know the right thing to do
If ever you are feeling frightened
and hurt
or if you just need someone
to talk to
please remember that
I am always here for you
ready to listen
without passing judgement
but with understanding
and love

I had to go to the back of the shop and hide whilst I wiped my eyes!
We are very close, and always go to each other when we feel a little down.
He has lost his job today, but being the type of person He is, He has also found another one and starts tomorrow - He's a cnc operator, so has been quite lucky, but, although He has a partner, He called me with the news first.
I know I won't be there for him at those times, and I will miss the hugs - yes, I have tears in my eyes whilst writing, so if things start to be spelt strange sorry!! BUT, I know that I still have to go. We haven't got jobs to go to - oh is a HGV driver. I get pangs of cold feet and what ifs from time to time - will they let us in on a tourist visa, will they guess we are coming to get jobs and turn us away, will we not get jobs and have to come back and live in a grubby damp 1 bed flat, what will we do if something major happens back in the UK and we need to get back? (actually, theyre's an insurance for emergencies, go to www.kinsure.co.uk). I think the sitting in the rocking chair at 80 is why I have to go aswell.
No one can make the decision except yourself. I am lucky in that although my family don't want me to go, they are very supportive of my decision, and hopefully, Mum and Dad will join us to retire in a few years.

Cath X

[SharpBlade]

Hi Nathalie,
We did a lot of reading about NZ, a lot of research too and then we decided that Christchurch would be the right place for us (4 youngs kids , 2 adults). My husband then came over to Chch for one week (couldn`t take more time off) and went through each area, visited some schools, shops , tried the bus system, went to check out hospitals , etc... He filled his little note book with plenty of info about everything and anything, met some people and took plenty of photos. After a week, he knew where we were likely to live, where the kids would probably go to school etc.. A few months later, we got PR and came over. Eventually, we did buy a house in the area he had thought would be good for (not because he was deciding for us but simply because he knows our tastes and priorities.)
I think it helps to be very focused, very selective and to know exactly what you like/ dislike.
Good luck !
Laura

[Hannah]

Hi Natalie
We did what you are planning - a six week reccie, four years ago. However, we didn't sell our house and simply travelled NZ considering where we might like to live if we did decide to fully move out. I know that some will suggest that visiting somewhere for a few days at a time doesn't give you a real idea of the place, however we fell in love with New Plymouth and, now that we live here, know that our gut instinct was right. Anyway, after our reccie I was due to start an MSc so decided to complete that before going back out to NZ. We then went for six month stay, in a fully furnished rental, still with our house back in the UK to return to. After our six month stay we came back to England, pondered on the decision, and decided to go for it, sell up and move out. The up side of this approach is that once we came to NZ, we had our eyes wide open, we had friends to return to, we'd set up the beginnings of a life there and nothing was too much of a shock. (The biggest culture shock for us was the 6 week reccie, not the 6 month stay interestingly). The down side of this approach is that is cost a lot of money - 2 lots of return flights, lost income while we looked for jobs in NZ, accommodation costs of our 6 week reccie, etc etc. However, we took the view that if we moved out lock, stock and barrel and it didn't work out then we'd lose a heck of a lot more (e.g. in the loss of money in buying and selling houses).
There is no 'right' or 'wrong' way. A lot depends on your finances, your own perception of risk and adventure (my other half wouldn't consider the 'just sell up and go approach'), whether you can get residency without coming to NZ to get a job first and what simply feels right for you. I would always say though, if you can afford it, go for a reccie. Chances are you will fall in love with the place (despite the initial culture shock!) and will want to come back. When you do come back, it will feel a bit more familiar. But nothing can compare to the range of emotions that you go through when you finally go for it! Some find it easier than others, and I'd say it takes a good 6-12 months or more to really start to carve out a life here. We struggled on our six month stay, despite (or maybe because of) having our house waiting there for us in the UK. Maybe the fact that we were applying for residency during that time made things harder, and having 2 children (at that time aged 7 & 10) who we knew were going to have to face another school move again in 6 months didn't help. However, having done the foot in the water stuff twice, we came back knowing without doubt that this was the right place for us and we're loving it. All of us!

Coming back to the reccie stuff, what we found out more from that was not so much that we would like NZ, but more what PART of NZ we would like. When we came back to New Plymouth we took the view that if we didn't find jobs in New Plymouth then we'd simply return to UK and not live in NZ. I know that will sound odd to those who are happy just to live in NZ and go where the jobs are, but for us we were choosing New Plymouth as opposed to NZ if that makes sense. What we felt when we arrived here was unlike anything we felt anywhere else (and we'd travelled most parts of NZ by then). When I left New Plymouth i felt that i'd left part of myself behind. Now i'm here, i feel its where i'm meant to be. When people asked me why I was moving to NZ I could give no tangible reason - just that it felt 'right'. And my OH and children felt exactly the same.

Again, thats a personal thing. If i'd stumbled on a New Plymouth while travelling the UK i reckon i'd have moved there and remained on British soil !

My advice, if it helps - if you have the money for it, go for a reccie. Check out different parts of NZ if you can (and read up before you go so you choose areas that you think you may consider living in). Speak to local people, find out about job opportunities, and just a get a general feel for life in the area. It's difficult in six weeks - but we just did normal stuff like going to McDonalds, visiting libraries, checking out the local park and looking round schools. We didn't do the bungy jumping thing, as that wasn't the purpose of the visit, yet despite that we had the best holiday we've ever had. We had kiwis inviting us home to tea and all sorts....great fun, and so good to get off the old tourist track (New Plymouth is certainly not ON the tourist track!!!)

Good luck Natalie, and enjoy your holiday!!!!

Regards, hannah

[irishliz]

Hi Natalie

We arrived here just under 6 weeks ago for an initial period of two years with the option to stay. Like you we had not visited prior. We have 4 children aged 7, 5, 3 and 1.

So far we love it but I am not sure we could say now if we were going to stay or not. Our gut feeling is yes. We moved from a suburb of Liverpool to a suburb in Wellington but they are poles apart. We did alot of research before we came, Wellington was a given, and OH's job but we left the decision on the actual area until we arrived and looked at schools for the two older children (fabulous btw and they have settled right in).

Nobody can tell you how to take forward your decision. Personally we were of the mind that a short reccie wouldn't give us the opportunity to integrate into a community, make friends, experience the seasons and have the opportunity to miss family and friends in Europe. Also we felt a shorter reccie would be expensive for 6 of us. As it was Oh's job paid for shipping our stuff, flights and two weeks accommodation which was a fantastic unexpected bonus - if this is something you could consider I would highly recommend it as it took the financial sting out of it for us. This would mean picking your area before you arrived which you have said you don't want to do but with 4 children it might be worth considering. The other issue is all your stuff - if you come for 6 weeks initially would you leave your stuff in Uk and then ship. I am so glad our stuff arrived 3 weeks after we landed. Most of it is tat but the kids were so happy to see toys, beds and bikes - a very special time.

Another piece of advise given to me but circumstances meant we couldn't do it would be to take a helpful relative (mother, in-law, etc) to help take the children on occassion and help with the general day-to-day stuff. In hindsight this would have been fantastic for us. On the other hand it does feel more like our adventure.

This is a genuine offer - if you are making the trip to Wellington please get in touch as we would be happy to help in any way we can.

Finally I am glad we are here. Financially we are worse off but already we are adjusting, people are very friendly and the facilities are great. We love the quick access to wilderness as well.

Best of luck with your decision. Take care of yourself especially at this time.

[Lara Croft]

Hi Irishliz.
We are moving out to Wellington in mid-January, for me to take up a job offer - we've never been to NZ before, so it's all exciting and scary at the same time :yes

Can I ask which suburb / area you are settling in? We are trying to sort out some suitable rented accomodation in a quiet, villagey area, as we don't want our son to start school and then have to move again when we find a permanent place to live. I'm interested to hear people's opinions of the different areas.

Since you come from a Liverpool suburb - and we live about 20 miles from Liverpool - I guess you know this area fairly well and can make accurate comparisons from one country to the other!

Thanks,
Jane

[Charlesw25]

We went on a recce trip in May for three weeks and saw as much as we could. It was mainly for me as my OH had been before and we decided to make the move after the trip. Part of me wishes that we had just made the move any way as we kind of had been happy to move to NZ anyway - and it would have saved us a lot of cash! However, seeing the whole island was good as it helped us discount certain areas (Auckland) - although in the end we're moving to New Plymouth. And we missed Taranaki off completely during our campervan travels...

[Mels]

Hi Irishliz,

Which school do your kids go to. Mine are 10yrs and 12yrs but I'malways keen to get info on schools.

Mels

[K&CS]

Just reading Hannah's post (far too long to quote) but I can really relate to what she was saying about the area she was moving to. For her this was about moving to New Plymouth rather than NZ and it was the same for us with Christchurch. We were moving to Christchurch and nowhere else was an acceptable substitute. We didn't do a 'reccie' as such - we came over for a wedding exactly 4 years ago and it was to be purely and simply a holiday, but we realised while here that we wanted to live here. My eldest daughter was crying at the airport when we left. I know it sounds corny, but when we arrived back in Christchurch 2 years later (this time to live), I felt like I'd come home and I still pinch myself that I'm here. Of course it's not perfect, but it just feels right for me, if that makes sense.

I know loads of very brave people who came over without having visited (and have made the move successfully) but that just isn't me. Part of the thing that made the whole thing easier for me was knowing where I was going.

Like the OP, I was planning the move while heavily pregnant so I understand what you're going through.

Good luck and let us know your decision.

Kate

[irishliz]

Hi Mels

Our children are at Cashmere Ave in Khandallah - we are really happy with the school but it only goes up to Year 6.

Natalie - hope the planning is going well.

[Yorkie]

Hi Natalie
I haven't been on this site for a while and just thought i'd have take a look. I read your post and it brought back a lot of memories and I know exactly what you are going through. We looked at moving from York to New Zealand about 4 years ago and below is the post that put on here in 2006. Looking back we probably made the right decision. However I do wonder what might have been. As for New Zealand well I still love the country and I think you just have to do what feels right for you and your family. Everyone is different and everyone's circumstances are different.
Good Luck

My post from 2006 :
I went to New Zealand with my wife and then 2 year old boy. We were totally taken in by the country and just fell in love with it.
The last 12 months we have done nothing but research the country and the possibility of emigrating. In September we were selected from the pool and in January my ITA arrived. We decided to go to New Zealand one more time to fact find and look round schools speak to job agencies and prospective employees. We flew again for a 1 month stay and have just returned last week. We have some good friends in New Zealand some are Kiwis and some are English we spoke a lot with them and they took us and showed us different things. During the stay we realised that maybe we had seen a lot of things through rose tinted glasses. I am not denying New Zealand is a beautiful country but on a personal level we did not feel all things considered that it could offer us a better lifestyle than what we currently enjoy. It wasn't a case of just getting cold feet both me and my wife had really built our hopes up but it was a case of seeing things a bit clearer second time round. :eek

I'm sure lots of people have gone to New Zealand and made great lives for themselves and I admire them all the only reason for the post is if you've any doubts try if you can and have a second look. It's a big step and I do feel that it wouldn't have been right for us but before I flew second time round I was convinced it was for me