[jocalla]

I am having a really strange night!! Up late because my daughter has a toothe ache, so she is on the sofa sleeping. I felt fine before, wrote a lengthy topic earlier on about how we are getting on etc. Then decided to watch a video that my sister sent me the other day of herself, family etc, on christmas day. Well I couldn't stop crying, thinking what have I done leaving everybody I love. It is so strange, I knew that I would miss every one but never have I doubted our move. My sister has 4 children, 8, 3 and twin girls (nearly one) and seeing them on the video, well it just really got to me!! Sorry having a very bobbly moment :wah . so thought I would share my feelings.
Joanne

[jo b]

Oh Jo

it must just sort of creep up on you when you least expected even though you think you have mentally prepared yourself.

I am dreading those moments, I am a very emotional person and cry a lassie etc.

All I can say is it will get easier over time not that you will miss them any less just that your coping mechanism will have developed better.

Stay positive and think of all the right reasons why you have moved. Not the ones which could have kept you home.

Take Care

Jo

[Glenda]

Hi Joanne,

Your other post (yesterday?) was so enthusiastic about your new life. Hold on to that. Night-time is the worst for emotions - you'll probably feel much better in the morning.
:yes

[Diny]

Joanne

I agree with Jo & Glenda.

Keep positive, night times are definately the worst times. Like Jo I am dreading experiencing what you are going through at the moment.

At the end of the day - NZ is just another country - for all it's good points - it's thousands of miles away from family, home and everything familiar that acts as a comfort blanket.

Glenda is right - concenrate on the good times and the sad times will take care of themselves.

Chin up and feel free to PM me if you need to 'unload' yourself.

Diny

[leslie]

everything feels worse at night. your pain receptors are at their most sensitive, darkness means happy-hormones lower etc. blame it on physiology.

i hate it in london - 1500% - its brought out the absolute worst in me (m hassan to marg thatcher overnight), and i've still met a couple people i like/ who can bear me. i figure if you like where you are and are 'happy in your skin' you'll end up with at very least 2 good friends.

what is that expression - something like 'deep experience is never peaceful, the light on the water is bright, the water is cold dark and deep'. feeling sad/ afraid just means you are human. as you are already in nz you must be smart. in london there is no time to feel sad/ human and brains are an unecessary evil so you are already ahead of us.

[leslie]

just read your thread re. health concerns etc. no wonder you feel overwhelmed... you need time and a shoulder to snuffle on. everything in good time. it will come.

[Diny]

Leslie

I think you need to get out of London quickly .... it's making you wierd !

:laugh :nice1 :laugh :nice1 :laugh :nice1 :laugh :nice1 :laugh

Diny

[jesselyn]

hi joanne,

hugs...

take care,
jes

[leslie]

i am hardly a prime example of coping skills (having allowed london to, as diny pointed out, make me crazy) but life can be rubbish from time to time and it helps to think of it as temporary lunacy. it strikes me as a bit cool that health probs arrived after they were in a country with superior healthcare to that in the uk, and after they signed off the med docs that might have excluded them from leaving the uk. the uncool is that social support structure isn't there - but thats a time issue, isn't it? somehow life likes these people. perhaps because they were brave to try something challenging and new for the sake of their family?

my son was born 3 weeks late because english medics wouldn't listen to me - they got the date completely wrong (1 month out on first child as well). he might not have survived were it not for a norwegian doctor at the hospital who took one look at my chart and said 'this baby is 3 weeks overdue and we must get him out". i cannot miss people fast enough! the first year is hard so you cannot think too much about anything. if by year 2 or 3 you still feel 'out of your skin' then you probably have something to discuss. then, whatever the outcome, at least you've tried.

[jocalla]

Thank you all for your support, just what I needed :P I actually felt a bit better after writing my post, I think I just needed someone to talk to.

This morning I got up early, got on the web cam to my sister, felt great after I spoke to her :P

Took the kids out for a bike ride, feeling really refreshed. It is funny how it just hits you when you don't expect it, but I suppose it is something that I will have to learn to deal with, going on here really does help Thanks everyone :P

Joanne

[Moorf]

Oh Jo.. I had a night like that just the other day :wah

I had just found out that we had not got our "dream" house ... I was more unhappy than I thought I would be.. and Warren arrived home with a package that was in our letterbox at the end of the drive.. it was a lovely pressie from my Gran - a cushion with a huge pic of our cat Grumps on it (he stayed back in the UK :wah ) - it really couldn't have been worse timing - I was beside myself all night, crying and generally demanding to return to the UK... oh and then I started looking at all our pics of my brother and family and our old house etc etc.. :? that just set me off again...

BUT.. I think the release made me feel alot better - I tend to put on a brave face most of the time for the sake of others... the next morning I went out on the beach with Summer and felt alot better again...

Others on the forum have, in the past, said how "together" I appear and that we must have done everything just right in our move here and how we seem to "have it easy" ... OH.. how wrong .. there's been as much stress and tears in this house as in others!!! Plus we have the added bonus of not having kids...

This forum has been a life-saver in terms of new friendships, great info and a place to vent!

[StevieD]

Think what you are missing - here today, a 15 year old BOY has been charged with MURDER of a 56 year old man by stabbing him. Man arrested for the murder of a heavily pregnant 14 y/o in midlands, more shootings, gang culture, binge drinking, arguments about Brown/Blair, the Iraq war... I could go on. Yes we all will miss the family, it is only natural. Think of the positive things you have gained and we are sure you will come through this.

Love and hugs to you from Liverpooooool.

Steve and Jan and family... (looking to be in NZ this coming year)

[pleccy2000]

Joanne I know exactly how you feel. It's so horrible it kills you.

[Diny]

Quote:

Think what you are missing - here today, a 15 year old BOY has been charged with MURDER of a 56 year old man by stabbing him. Man arrested for the murder of a heavily pregnant 14 y/o in midlands, more shootings, gang culture, binge drinking, arguments about Brown/Blair, the Iraq war... I could go on

This goes on everywhere Stevie - NZ included. When we lived in Oz it was my 'old life' and my family I longed for. To me a country is just a country really, nice scenery and clean air helps of course, but when you're suffering that real physical pain of homesickness, doubt, and the general feeling of "what the hell have we done", no amount of crime statistics and bad weather forecasts from back home make you feel any happier. My experience was to 'weather the storm' - to realise that the negative feelings will pass and eventually they will become less and less (but will probably never totally disappear). I remember times when I physically ached to feel my mums arms around me and I would convince myself that I couldn't go on. But the next morning I usually started to feel a whole lot better, I'd find something to do (shopping :nice1 ) and before I knew it I was back on track.

It's all part of the learning curve.

Diny

[leslie]

true, there are problems everywhere. but the uk has created and nurtured its own special brand of misery and until people stop justifying it and inadequate legislation encouraging it absolutely nothing will change.
british travellers are upheld as the most revolting on the globe. people actually miss the old days of loud, badly dressed americans abroad. think about that.

[pleccy2000]

leslie you generalise too much. I'm sorry but you do.

[leslie]

of course. its one of my worst and best characteristics.

[veronica]

Leslie, got to agree with adam (pleccy) think both those statements are way too wild to be given any credibility.

[Clare]

Hello Jo,

I am new to this forum, but I just wanted to reach out to let you know that homesickness can be a sad and lonely feeling. I moved from Christchurch to Auckland 20 years ago and felt miserable for a time. Silly really when my family and friends were only a short flight away.

By the morning you will more than likely have slept this off and be up and running again enjoying your big adventure in your new land.

Christchurch is a very lovely city. Tomorrow, why not take a trip to Hagley Park and let out massive yells and I betcha all will feel better.

Wishing you happiness and courage.

Clare

[leslie]

always interesting to hear.

[Moorf]

... but don't imagine you won't feel homesick from time to time ... you will .. it's normal. Just don't expect too much of yourself and give yourself time to address your feelings and talk to others if you can.

I think the worst thing you can do is to worry about feeling homesick and think that it's a bad sign.. it's not.. it just means you are human :nice1

I spent 7 yrs of my life getting homesick every beginning of term and half terms .. I was at boarding school.. and throughout those 7 yrs it was always hard to leave the family and homesickness was something all the girls had to deal with and it never got any better necessarily, you just learnt that it happened but it went away... not sure how much sense that makes but I tried!

[jocalla]

Makes sense moorf :cheers

I think this just crept up on me unexpectedly, and caught me off guard,I have just put it down to the pressure I am under with my daughter at the moment. Things will get sorted tomorrow at the hospital though :hopeso

Joanne

[A & M]

Joanne

Hope all goes well tomorrow.

best wishes, Mandy

[Diny]

Joanne - :hopeso everything goes OK at the hospital (which I'm sure it will) - keep us posted and chin up.


Quote Moorf:

I think the worst thing you can do is to worry about feeling homesick and think that it's a bad sign.. it's not.. it just means you are human

So very true !!!

Also - I have to agree - Leslie (with all due respects) you generalise WAY too much.

Diny

[psh12001]

Hiya, Just wondered what you thought of christchurch and if you prefer it from where you lived before? we have been here for 19 months now and have had the ups and downs and are now settled and enjoying life here ...very different from manchester....

[lindajax]

Joanne,
Glad that you now feel a little better. I feel for you, I too miss people but have not had the experience you have. I am dreading it because I know at some point it'll come. It's early adys for us and we've been busy etc etc so no time for that kind of thing YET.

Keep your chin up and stay positive - You made the right choice and the good thing is you really do know that - you'll be fine - you're a winner!

Love
Linda xxxx

[jocalla]

Hi just a quick update

All went ok at the hospital

They have decided to put Caitlin on medication for 2 years :( but to be honest I am just glad it is sorted. :cheers

Joanne

[Diny]

That's good news Joanne, now you can relax into your new life a little easier.

Diny