[tigerlily]

I'm visiting with my family and mostly having wonderful visits- but also having to say goodbye to so many people- tonight the only grandmother I've ever known and my beloved favorite aunt. My mother is already crying that we are leaving in a couple of weeks time. Then on to my fathers house for more...

I should have slipped out the backdoor and not told anyone where I was going! No. The physical distance is a huge hang up for everyone. The long flight. The expense. I understand, no one pops off to NZ anytime they like. But in truth I've been living the last 15 years in the upper left corner of the US far (I mean a 6 hour flight) away from all of them. But I feel like quite a heartbreaker tonight. I wish I could make all of them happy by living close to them. Except they all live far apart too! And none of those places would make me happy. Happiness I think can be found when you do what you have a passion for, and you learn to love what you have.

[shakyle2906]

Thinking of you!

It is very hard and i know how you must be feeling.......its one of the hardest things we have ever done (except when my mum died 15yrs ago)

Hopefully having the support of your family will make things feel better for you - one thing we didnt completely have but we got through it.

Good luck!

Sharon
xx

[akp713]

I know exactly what you mean, my two grandmothers are 86 and 91 now so there is a good chance I will never see them again, neither are in poor health, but nor are they in good health. As I'm an only child its even harder for my mom. She starts crying every time I mention something new and good I've learned about NZ. She's always been a big hypochondriac so she's convinced she'll die of something and never see me again because she has very high cholosteral even though her mom's still alive and her dad made it well into his 80s. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye at the airport! It will probably be two years before they can afford a trip to see me and the longest we've gone before was six months, so it will be tough.

[tigerlily]

Yes! I'm an only too. I'm thinking that it would be easier on everyone if I had 6 siblings still in the states!

[mgf]

Hey Tigerlily,

I can relate so well. I have been saying goodbyes as well and it has been very difficult. Spent Thanksgiving in Nashville saying goodbye to my brother and his family who are very supportive. Not sure if I will get up to see my brother in Connecticut or not but he is very supportive as well (helps that his wife works for United and they get to fly). Sister lives in Northern Indiana and will be coming down next weekend to celebrate Christmas early with my daughters and myself. She I know will never leave the borders of the USA so won't see her until I return sometime. My mother is in a nursing home and I probably won't see her again as her health is not that good. It has been very difficult saying goodbye to friends as well. You must keep in mind that you are fulfilling a dream and all will be worth it. Thanks to the world of high tech you will still be able to keep in touch. We have been looking into Skype, so we can do some video conferencing.

[mgbridges]

Much sympathy for those of you going through the 'saying goodbye' stage and those of you yet to do so. Its hard! It was especially hard for me saying good bye to mum, dad & brother as I was on my own with our 5yr old son (OH already in NZ) so I had to hold it all in. Couldn't ball my eyes out and drive all at the same time, also didn't want to have my son thinking coming to NZ was a sad/bad thing. It suddenly hit me one night after we'd arrived when OH was out and I was in drinking red wine, eating pizza and watching a girlie movie - I started crying because of the film and then all of sudden couldn't stop! :laugh Think I'd finally found a moment to let out all that emotion, it was very cathartic.

A suggestion... it might be easier to say all your goodbyes and not have anyone accompany you to the airport. Its what we did and it made it easier to get on the plane, we were also more able to focus on what an exciting adventure we were going on for our son (who had never flown before). The last thing either of us wanted was to get on the plane all emotional, crying & upset.

Good luck to all,
Anneliese

[cathgates]

We have been certain about moving since the Manchester expo this year, and our house goes on the market in the new year, once it sells, we get tickets and go. So, this is our last Christmas and new year, so I am already having weapy moments!!!
I wanted to get special presents for everyone who is important to me, so I am spending lots of time in card shops, and gift shops hiding at the back, holding back tears after reading a particularly apt verse in a card!!!
We went for a meal on Saturday with my eldest and His partner, and I felt a little emotional then as He told me he was going to miss me so much, and I know I am going to miss Him such a lot as well.
I'm hoping I can get all the weapy moments done before we go but I very much doubt that I will be getting on the plane with dry eyes!!!

Cath X

[PECJ]

I can offer a little help. We moved in late Jul and have never really been physically close to either of our parents. A few funny comments when we were leaving were (now) funny (such as "we might as well put these large pans away - we will not be getting any visits now?!") but the telephone is very cheap (phone cards NOT telecom) and have rung more often than when we were in the UK. I don't feel as though I'm a long distance away at all.

[holland]

Saying goodbye is so difficult...the lead up to us leaving is still fresh in my mind as we only did it 4 weeks ago...its wierd, because you have that many people to say bye to that it almost becomes the norm and your body becomes kind of conditioned to it in the end...that probably makes no sense but I know what I mean!!

Saying bye to our cat was AWFUL, and our parents and siblings awful too...I can't even think about my mum and sister waving me bye..oh gosh...Im crying now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree that I wouldnt have anyone at the airport...I certainly needed that time to get my head around it and if you are anything like Graham and I, although we we're together all of the time visiting people, we hardly had any time to chat and have time on our own....and you need that when you are doing such a huge thing!

I was devastated and a mess at the airport....but the flight is quite long and gives you time to calm down and look forward to what lies ahead!

J x

[wanderingoregonian]

I also think it helps not having a hoard see you off at the airport. I had a bunch of people over for my birthday and had a chance to say goodbye to each person individually when they were walking to their car to leave the party. Even though it was doubtful that I'd see them before I left, there was the possibility since there was another 24 hours until my flight left, and that made the final goodbye easier.

This trip to the states when I was returning to the airport to fly to NZ I only had my best friend drive me. Previous times, my whole family drove me in to see me off and it was so hard... it was silent and slightly awkward because really what is there to say at that point, you are just waiting for the last minute to say goodbye in person and all the words can be said later in emails or calls.

I'll be thinking of you and we'll greet you with a huge smile when you get here. I can't promise it for anyone, but I found that this first year here many of my relationships with friends back home actually became closer. Each phone call and letter seemed somehow more precious and therefore became more thoughtful.

[tigerlily]

Trail of tears is over, said last goodbyes this morning. We will be on our plane for Auckland tomorrow! I saw this little fin over the wall when we arrived at the airport today.

I never ever want to go anywhere with 8 bags again.

[irishliz]

Thinking of you tonight as we enjoyed the family event in Wellington. Hope you enjoy it as much as we have so far. So exciting landing on the 1st - best of luck.

[nickydwuk]

What a way to start a new year. Good luck to you all. :nice1