[ourquest]

We're all prone to it. We compare our looks to others, our achievements, our financial situation. These comparisons (amongst many others) cause unnecessary inner human suffering everywhere, and it all comes down to trying to make everything the same, instead of celebrating the unique character inherent in everyone, everyone's surroundings and the country they live in.

Adjusting to New Zealand is going to require a commitment to appreciating the character of the country, independent of what the character of your country of origin is. Celebrate the authenticity of the people, the dramatic landscape, the pace of life and the South Pacific ambience. Let yourself absorb these influences, let go of your resistance to change, and grow as an individual through your emigration adventure.

Remember this to help yourself through times of change. Enjoy your existence, interaction and experience as if you have nothing to compare it to.

Best wishes to all.

[Lupin]

Lol, neat post- hope you remain so philosophically optimistic once here :)

[Kim39]

Lol, neat post- hope you remain so philosophically optimistic once here :)

Took the words right out of my mouth.....................


Kim

[ourquest]

Ahhhh, yes, two great things about philosophy; firstly it contains truth whether or not it is taken on board in a practical way, and secondly the person who happens to write it down isn't required to be a perfect example of it :no for it to be beneficial to others.
I will continue to add a bit of philosophy to counter the plethora of factual information in which all of us sink from time to time. :nice1

[migratory birds]

Very nice homily for this Sunday morning. Now, please pass the syrup - I need a bit more for my pancakes. WHAT!? No real maple syrup!! OMG, I don't think I can move forward with this immigration business!! :exit

[lockstock]

Eh?

[Tia Maria]

Surely our obsession with comparisons is one of the main reasons we have the drive and desire to emigrate in the first place?

Cheers

Tia

[holland]

Very nice homily for this Sunday morning. Now, please pass the syrup - I need a bit more for my pancakes. WHAT!? No real maple syrup!! OMG, I don't think I can move forward with this immigration business!! :exit


:laugh

[lockstock]

eh?

[peebles16]

Very nice homily for this Sunday morning. Now, please pass the syrup - I need a bit more for my pancakes. WHAT!? No real maple syrup!! OMG, I don't think I can move forward with this immigration business!! :exit

:laugh :laugh

[Gran]

We brought our children up in NZ, and would not have it any other way, we gave them 3 extra years of just being kids, having fun, playing sports etc. usually running in bare feet. They are in their 40s now, and bringing up their kids the same way. Not to say they havent done well in life, they have. Here is an example of kids just having fun in Auckland
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/metro/story.cfm?l_id=117&objectid=10482791

[dharder]

Here is an example of kids just having fun in Auckland
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/metro/story.cfm?l_id=117&objectid=10482791


Except, of course, this article says they really don't do enough of this, and don't have the necessary skills to enjoy the beach safely... Didn't find that altogether reassuring reading, I have to say.

For me currently, there are different types of comparisons: the comparison between our life in London and the comparison between my expectations of life in Auckland and the reality of it.

Auckland does not fare particularly well in either at the moment, but I am still in such a negative mood that I refuse to see the positive sides and only find my negative expectations fulfilled. I expected that, and am waiting for it to get better...

Other than that, I don't think you can do without comparisons altogether. And why should you? They only become a problem when you stop seeing the thing for itself, and maybe do the odd positive comparison...

Daniela

PS: and to not sound too negative, I really like the house we live in, which is sooo much bigger than the flat in London and brighter, and has a lovely garden, and I have a workshop...

[ourquest]

I am still in such a negative mood that I refuse to see the positive sides and only find my negative expectations fulfilled. I expected that, and am waiting for it to get better...



Not everyone is as aware as you are of how their own mood affects their outlook (and therefore the "truth" about their surroundings). :nice1

Although some comparisons are inevitable, it is awareness of making the comparison that is most important...firstly because it might be made when your mood is low and so you do not need to attach too much importance to the comparison you made, and secondly each time you are inclined to make the comparison it reminds you to take the time and effort to look for the less obvious good points about your new situation (it essentially reminds you not to make the comparison).
In both cases, this awareness will help the person concerned cope with the changes and grow their EQ (emotional intelligence) at the same time.

[Gran]

On "our" beach every few weeks or so they have a surf practice day when hundreds of children gather, the older ones to practice surf lifesaving, the younger ones to have races and march, they all have their uniform caps on and the 5 year olds look as cute as little buttons marching up and down. They could be doing a lot worse!!!
But really, maybe London is where you should be if that is what you want, dont waste your money coming to NZ.

[dharder]

They could be doing a lot worse!!!

I'm sure they could (but marching?). I merely pointed out that the article that you showed as a positive example of life in Auckland for children actually didn't have a terribly positive reason to be published, namely the lack of certain skills, its purpose was not to show how much kids enjoy the beach.

But really, maybe London is where you should be if that is what you want, dont waste your money coming to NZ.

Yes, London is where I should be. And if life were that simple, I would be. But it isn't, the money is wasted now, and I'll just have to wait for some kind of adjustment on my part. I know that once I have come to terms with the fact that this is what it will be for the next three years, then I'll be fine.

Daniela

[ourquest]

Good luck Daniela, and I understand your point about the kids on the beach, whether or not it is even particularly relevant to the thread.

[Tech21]

Yes, London is where I should be. And if life were that simple, I would be. But it isn't, the money is wasted now, and I'll just have to wait for some kind of adjustment on my part. I know that once I have come to terms with the fact that this is what it will be for the next three years, then I'll be fine.
Daniela

Arrived in Auckland 6/12/2007



Hi,
It sounds like you didn't want to go to NZ in the first place and you have only been there 12 days (assuming a UK and not a US date).
What sort of problems are you finding?
As long as you are with your family no problems should be insurmountable....you have done the hard part in getting to NZ in the first place.

Hope you get to feel more positive real soon.

Regards

Gareth