[Tech21]

Hi,
We are all due to leave the UK for NZ in January 2008.
The nearer it gets the odder we sometimes feel....the best description of the feeling is 'Rabbit-in-the-headlights' mixed with odd feeling emotional episodes over inanimate objects and places.
We don't know if we are coming or going there is that much to do, and to be honest, Jane has had a lot more than me to do...the flights for Jane and the moggies are now booked for Jan 7th and Jan 10th while Lex (my 8 year old son) and myself leave from Southampton on the 6th of Jan on the QE2 and arrive in NZ on Feb 21st.

Up to now, none of us (apart from Lex that is) has done the Homer Simpson arm-in-the-air and shouted "Whooo Hooo".....it's a very odd feeling.....and some of the places that we have been to knowing that it is for the very last time, the feeling is as if we have just been told "sorry, you have got a month to live better go and do your last visiting while you can"....is all this emotion and feelings normal at this stage of the proceedings???:confused:

And before anyone asks, YES we do all want to move to NZ, there is absolutely NO question of that….we are all totally committed to the move….no one is getting cold feet, we are going….so why these feelings?

Cheers

Gareth

[spudulike]

Hi Gareth,

Rest assured that you are very normal! We moved to NZ 8 weeks after Christmas with 18 month old and 8 week old children I distinctly remember getting my culture fix before I left, visiting Fountains Abbey etc. It does feel a bit like the last goodbye but isn't really. Besides, in only a few weeks you will be taking in a host of new sights.

Just try not to think about things being final, you will probably visit again at some point - and besides, it's a shame to have a cloud over your last few weeks here. My advice would be go with your feelings and you'll move through it all when you're ready.

Enjoy your cruise and your new life in NZ!!

L :)

[migratory birds]

….so why these feelings?

Gareth

Human nature...to look at what's been valued in those times when we move on. Might be more worrisome if you didn't have any feelings of grief at this time.

And a transcontinental move is no small peanuts. Significant stressors in the last couple months for you, no doubt. Take a good hearty dose a B-complex daily to ease the effects of that stress.

Hopefully, it'll be one of those times when it'll be good when you're finally on the ship and have turned the corner.

Best to you all.

[ourquest]

You know what, it probably isn't a bad thing to have that "you've got one month to live" feeling in your life from time to time. It allows you to really assess what's important, hopefully also connect better with people and worry less about the insignificant stuff.
Having said that, it doesn't make it pleasant, and I wish you strength through this period, and excitement once your adventure begins.

[lockstock]

No idea why - we've got the same feelings. Weird or what. Would have loved to do the ship thing though! Our dogs fly on the 9th and arrive on the 11th so we'll miss both Jane and the moggies. Safe journey to all.

[peebles16]

Ditto here for us too and don't really understand why. Folks keep saying 'oh you must be really excited, what an adventure' etc and I don't. I think it probably is a reaction to all the stress of the last few months and anticipating some of the challenges ahead..
But somehow I imagined I would be excited and all fired up but just hasn't happened yet. Maybe that or I'm just looking for excuses to avoid packing and cleaning :D

Karenx

[Hippywench]

We haven't even officially started the emigration process yet but I completely understand the way you're feeling. However exciting it may be, its still a very big deal to move so far away. I have moments of feeling like that now, knowing my days here are numbered and there are lots of things I hoped to do here that won't now be happening.
I also have a large sentimental streak and I keep having these mental 'flash forwards' to the time when I will be saying goodbye to people and places, not to mention the last few stressful months of selling, packing and finding somewhere to live in NZ that will accept a houseful of furry beasts!

The good side of this is that I'm already finding myself taking the time to appreciate things, for example if I see nice scenery or a pleasant sunrise I really take the time to fully absorb and appreciate it instead of hurrying through life like I usually do. I also take every opportunity to participate in various events and activities instead of thinking "oh but I'm busy with x, or I really shouldn't spend the money, I'll look at doing it next time"

I really do relate to your feeling of having a limited time left to live. I feel a bit that way too. In a way, its right - we're giving up this life in order to live a different one.
We have to give some things up to gain something, right?

[victoria]

Funnily enough we became quite detached from the physical before leaving. It was more a "we're here just visiting & going home soon" type of feeling. Maybe the brain's way of protecting us I don't know. Now loved ones is a completely different kettle of fish! That is something only you can deal with but the forumites have been there & gone through it & still going through it. The step you're taking is a biggy & your emotions will provide a roller coaster ride never to be equalled. Proves you're human/humane. Good luck & have a wonderful xmas.

[Charlesw25]

We just found out last week that we've been approved - luckily for us really as we'd both handed in our notices two days earlier. My partner is having a lot of the feelings you are talking about and I think it's understandable given the enormity of the move. Me - I'm so busy planning and phoning people and working that I've not had chance to dwell on the move. I'm sure when I get chance to pause, I'll start to think more about it.

[migratory birds]

...none of us (apart from Lex that is) has done the Homer Simpson arm-in-the-air and shouted "Whooo Hooo".....it's a very odd

Gareth

I whooo-hooo'd when I got my ITA...and PR...but when I got those blue stickers...I wondered what I'd gotten myself into!

[skibumwa]

On July 9th (2007) I got the call from my visa officer telling me I was approved. I got those feelings then. On July 17th, after my morning flight to LA from Seattle, I was sitting there looking at my Qantas 747 rolling slowly towards the gate. It was a surreal feeling.. as this one not just another plane, no. This was it. It was a huge leap into the rest of my unknown future that will take place in NZ.

To this day, I remember feeling sense of nervousness, and excitment that goes beyond words. There was no turning back. I could not move back into my apartment. I could not get my old job back in Seattle. My possessions were already on a cargo ship on the way to Wellington. It felt as if I was a NASA trainee finally picked for a mission for a deep space one-way mission to explore the outer reaches space. When you get the airport and see your one-ay flight/plane roll to the gate, this feeling of (hard to explain) will hit you like a 70 ton locomotive suddenly. Be prepared and take each passing minute in stride - as yes it will be an moment to remember.

You have done the hard work (NZIS madness, movers, new jobs in NZ, etc) just to look at your one-way plane through a thick glass airport terminal window. Now it's a ride into the rest of your life. You are leaving behind your former life and starting a new one on the other side of the planet. It's emotional as well as scary, but also a time in life to treasure. I am a photo geek, so I took a pic of the plane that delivered me to rest of my life at LAX.

Enjoy your final days at home with friends/family & then hop on the ride into your future. The actual take off is an especially powerful moment; as in when your plane leaves the ground & you look behind at your now previous home as you jet away @ 550mph into the heavens. At that moment, your airplane becomes your temporary home until you land in NZ! So if a friendly traveller asks where you live, tell them, "I live here on this plane until I land in NZ!"

Your future across on the other side of the planet awaits you...

- cheers & good luck..

John

[Jamie Smith]

I think it's a good way not to think of this as PERMANENT migration, despite what it says on your visa. We had some surreal moments when deciding to move to Australia, a lesser distance than what most here face. All of a sudden it was, my god, we're going, unless we decide not to accept the offer on the house.

We decided that if we didn't like it after giving it a fairly solid go for 2 years then we would look at returning home to NZ.

And with that, we agreed to not seriously discuss returning home for 2 years so that we had to individually stick to the plan and let the other half have their chance to get settled.

If one was well settled they would be better able to help t'other, and best not to sabotage the chance of getting settled by by overreacting to the change and putting one's partner off.

So we treated it as permanent migration only if we both decided to stay, we could always go home again and indeed visit any time we chose.

I also suggest that migrants set up a broadband and webcam/skype connection for family staying behind, it's a good way to shrink the world and not feel like you have disappeared off the planet. Grandma and grandpa can still see the kids new teeth growing, and the migrants can still see how Mum and Dad's faculties are holding up.

I think webcams are a must have for migrants, and air travel is cheap...

[incredible hulse]

I think it's a good way not to think of this as PERMANENT migration, despite what it says on your visa. We had some surreal moments when deciding to move to Australia, a lesser distance than what most here face. All of a sudden it was, my god, we're going, unless we decide not to accept the offer on the house.

We decided that if we didn't like it after giving it a fairly solid go for 2 years then we would look at returning home to NZ.

And with that, we agreed to not seriously discuss returning home for 2 years so that we had to individually stick to the plan and let the other half have their chance to get settled.

If one was well settled they would be better able to help t'other, and best not to sabotage the chance of getting settled by by overreacting to the change and putting one's partner off.

So we treated it as permanent migration only if we both decided to stay, we could always go home again and indeed visit any time we chose.

I also suggest that migrants set up a broadband and webcam/skype connection for family staying behind, it's a good way to shrink the world and not feel like you have disappeared off the planet. Grandma and grandpa can still see the kids new teeth growing, and the migrants can still see how Mum and Dad's faculties are holding up.

I think webcams are a must have for migrants, and air travel is cheap... Agree with most of that apart from the last 4 words unfortunately. I'm finding air travel from NZ on a kiwi salary extortionate. Example being that flights for 4 of us to the UK on the best deals still equate to nearly 9% of pre-tax salary. It was around 2% from the UK. Before we came out we were quite confident of going back if required; now I dread the thought of having to do it for a family emergency

[Tia Maria]

Incredible Hulse wrote:

I'm finding air travel from NZ on a kiwi salary extortionate. Example being that flights for 4 of us to the UK on the best deals still equate to nearly 9% of pre-tax salary. It was around 2% from the UK. Before we came out we were quite confident of going back if required; now I dread the thought of having to do it for a family emergency

Same here!

We've had to go home for a family emergency recently and we only managed as we had an 'emergency fund' in UK£'s which we put aside when we first emigrated. If we hadn't planned ahead its unlikely we would have managed to afford it on a kiwi wage. :(

Cheers

Tia

[holland]

I just don't even know where to start with this one...I think, probably like most people we we're so so exitied in the beginning, planning 'the new life', wondering where we would end up etc etc etc, then the blue stickers hit the mat and still the exitement continued...then we booked the plane tickets and I PANICKED..in fact I spent the whole night reading the terms and conditions of the booking to see if we could cancel...

The next few days I got my head around it bit by bit ( G was fine!!!), and we we're that busy with house sale and sorting out...that I just kind of ended up going with the flow...it probably sounds really strange but at times I really did feel like it wasn't happening to us and that I was looking in on someone elses life...

I think all of the emotions experienced though really helped me to prepare for the move and focus my mind on the job in hand. I was really quite composed when we took off....I was a different blithering tearful wreck checking in....

My advice would be to just go with the flow, if you feel nervous feel it, if you feel sad..the same, but remember to not feel guilty about being exitied aswell, as this is a huge experience and journey you are about to embark on.

In the UK, I used to sit there and wonder how I was going to cope away from all of my family....but you know what I am coping!! I miss them so so much but this was the right decision to make and I have no regrets ( at the minute)!!

Ive learnt as individuals we can be so so strong...when we have to be!

J x

PS- I took a photo of plane aswell!!:yes

[thezorbster]

Oh Gareth, you're so normal! Once the house was sold, flights booked etc etc I remember thinking as if it wasn't really happening to us. We were mostly very detached and unemotional the nearer to the actual departure date we got. I amazed myself as I'm normally an emotional wreck. I think I did my emotional stuff during the early stages of the process but as it all got closer to reality an acceptance of the situation sank in, it was happening, we wanted it to happen so there was no point getting worked up about it. I was also trying to be strong to protect family I suppose, so that they didn't see me cry and also so our daughter didn't get upset and begin to worry about what was happening - stiff upper lip and all that. Hardly cried at all leaving my home or family but sitting on that aeroplane as it left good old Blighty, that was the moment reality hit me and :wah

Your emotions may change over the coming weeks but whatever you're feeling, some of us will have felt it. You're not alone so just go with it and see what each day brings.
Enjoy Christmas and have a safe journey.

[skibumwa]

Once you board your one-way flight to NZ, the journey has only begun! As you land in Auckland, your journey really starts there. To settle into your new life takes time.. so enjoy as much as of it as you can and be proud of yourself that you survived the gauntlet of obstacles to get down here.

PS. Be thankful you are moving during the NZ summer! I moved here in the dead of Winter! ouch! :wah

John




Oh Gareth, you're so normal!

Your emotions may change over the coming weeks but whatever you're feeling, some of us will have felt it. You're not alone so just go with it and see what each day brings.
Enjoy Christmas and have a safe journey.

[skibumwa]

For me, I used Skype Video with many people. It's great! It feels like I am right there with them, and guess what? It's FREE when they are on Skype also!





I think webcams are a must have for migrants, and air travel is cheap...

[Tech21]

Thank god for that!!!
I thought we were all going mad....after going through so much to get to this stage.

It all looked and felt OK while we were on the slow route (started March 07) but that all went exponential after the Manchester NZ Expo either Oct 27&28tg or Nov 3&4th (can't remember exactly which it was) when within less than 2 weeks Jane had a confirmed job offer and they originally wanted her to start before Christmas:eek: ...no way that was possible so she got the more realistic start date of 22nd Jan....this is when it all started to feel weird and real...
Family in the UK isn't an issue...neither of us have parents alive...the only family I have in the UK are the ones you only ever see at funerals and weddings....Jane has 2 older siblings who have both been in the RAF and so have spent years away from home with their postings....so we have no family issues holding us here.
True friends will be missed...but you can normally count these people on the fingers of one hand...and virtually all of our true friends have already booked holidays with us for later this year and next year....Jane's sister is even considering a course of hypnotherapy so she will be able to make the flight out to see us.

Start of rant : -
To us, our emigration is not being considered as anything other than full commitment to doing it and living in NZ...we are not thinking of ever coming back to the UK...that might sound a bit harsh but that's the way we feel.
If we were thinking of this as a "lets try it and see if we like it" exercise then I feel that the commitment wouldn't be there with the "we can always go home if we don't like it" attitude and with that thought of "going home" in your mind then how could you ever consider New Zealand as home? What would be the point of going through all this upheaval and stress just to end up back where we started from?
Out reasons for wanting to move from the UK to NZ are just as valid now (probably even more so) as they were when we first decided to do it.
Rant over...(sorry about that...but it needed saying)

I am just thankful that the feelings are normal.

Just as a matter of thought...at what point do you jump up, punch the air and shout "Whooo Hooo"?

This is the story so far : -
My wife is the main applicant….
EOI Submitted 13/3/07,
Selected 14/3/07
ITA received 4/7/07
NZQA disaster!!!...Total panic:eek:
Manchester expo, CV’s distributed to NZ agents.
Phone interview 5/11/07
Video Conference Interview 6/11/07,
Verbal job offer 8/11/07
Due to start work 22nd Jan...
Work visas applied for 24/11/07
1st House sold 1st week in December
Work visas arrived 2nd week in December
Sister-in-law has committed to buy 2nd house by 1st week in Jan
All flights and sailings booked by 17th December
Bye Bye UK 6th, 7th and the 10th of January 2008:exit
Hello Wellington 8th January for Jane, 12th January for 7x Moggies and 21st February Lex and Gareth. :nice1

[StevieD]

QE2 to NZ, that is flash!!! Bit green coz I used to work on her and would have loved to travel to NZ that way.....

But to have such feeligs is natural, we all have them from time to time (still do but in a positive way :laugh)

Just off for the work Xmas lunch, not going to get much work done today I don't reckon.

Good luck

Steve

[Tech21]

Hi Steve,
Honestly I got on the QE2 purely by the grace of god....I had wanted to take my son (just 8 years old) by sea to NZ as this would be a trip of a lifetime and this was in the slow plan of things with plenty of time to book in advance and all that, but when Jane got the job offer in November things kind of speeded up a tad. Checked all the sailings and everything (including rowing boats) was full. So I told Lex (my son) that we had missed out on our voyage of a lifetime (on the Aurora which was affordable) but he may be able to do it himself in the future.
I was just about to book the flights and I got a call from the travel agents saying that a cabin had come available on the QE2....With the best will in the world I couldn't afford the QE2 and she did say that the twin bedded cabin price was around £13,500 each for the 2 occupants....27 grand!!! "No way could I possibly afford that" I told her then she said that because it was a late booking and a cancellation how did £5,000 each sound? It was only a few quid more than a business class flight on Qantas...what else could I do...I said yes...and yes it is a lot of cash and some may say why the hell spend that amount....but you only live once...usually.

Enjoy the Christmas Lunch

All the best for 2008

Gareth