[Carey]

My OH feels he won't be able to do his job in NZ because it really doesn't exist; he's worked in UK, in countryside management for county councils for 20 yrs but it's very species specific and obviously the species are very different in NZ. So just wondering what he could do? He's a very capable DIY'er, creative eg wood carving, but is terrified of having a boring job or being stuck in an office. So much so that he's rapidly going off the whole emigration idea, (again!), of actually agreeing to go even if I do get a job. Help!

Anyone else gone out on back of partners visa and got into something different? I'm a primary teacher still trying to secure a job, very keen to go asap and the deal had been that if I get a job, he'll be happy to come......

[migratory birds]

Can't quite tell what he does based on your description but it sounds like something that could be a great fit with the DoC (Dept of Conservation). I wouldn't worry about him not knowing flora/fauna species (is that what you meant by him not knowing NZ species? Plants/animals?). If he's at all like those of us who know all about plant invasives/predator-prey relations in our regions, he'll be equally as interested in the same in NZ, and will learn quickly. His experience in knowing how to do what he does is more important than the plant/animal groups he's managing. Check their website for job openings and just have him submit his application in the areas you'd like to reside.

I may be way off base in what he does though and the above response may not be at all what you need!

[ourquest]

I have a different approach to my response which might be just as far off base.

I agree with migratory birds in that the quality of employees is about their approach to their work and their ability to slot new knowledge into an existing framework.

But my concern reading between the lines is that your OH is not as committed to the move as yourself, and what you are really after is some way of convincing him. Assuming you are both reasonable people (in that you can literally be reasoned with) then I would suggest you commit your deals to paper; a form of contract if you like. It doesn't have to be formal...I would suggest a mission statement which you create together outlining your goals and plan for New Zealand. This way you can agree on the terms of moving and once you have made the deal to go you are in it together; the purpose ultimately is that you are in the decision together and there is no "I told you so's" later, or bitter feelings if one or other's dreams are not completely fulfilled once in NZ.

Moves of this magnitude can both draw people together or drive them apart, and as much that you can do before the fact, particularly from the point of communication, the better. Compromises are the name of the game, and the success of your settling might depend on one partners's willingness to do so, and then find the positives within that.

I am sure many forum contributors have had similar experiences and I hope that their contributions will motivate both of you as you would like.:)

[CjChris]

OH and I have bantered back and forth from the start regarding what jobs we'd seek here in NZ--that doesn't mean we weren't committed to each other or the NZ move, it just means it's easy to have doubts about what to do to be happy. Seeking a career shift at this point in life can suddenly feel like being 19 again...there are lots of choices, so how do you choose what's best for you?

I was primary applicant under Skilled Migrant category because I'm a teacher; Oh and adult children were included on my app.

OH will not do the same job in NZ as in America because he doesn't want
to do "that" anymore. He was sick of the big corporation he worked for, sick of "taking oil and making it into cheap plastic crap," and tired of making products that end up going into landfills to stay FOREVER.:uhoh

He got paid very well for doing what he did, but.., in NZ, he is happy to have the opportunity to seek (and hopfully find) gainful employment doing something GOOD for the environment, whether that means working for Dept of Conservation or for a company needing someone with his expertise (PhD in organic chemistry) to help control their impact on the environment, etc.

So, assuming your OH has been satisfied with his career field in UK, I think it is reasonable to assume that his skills gained in that job will readily translate to a "new" career here. Both OH and I are looking at this NZ opportunity as one of renewal: we had both worked at our careers for enough years that we were ready for "something else," so perhaps your OH can begin to see NZ as an opportunity to take his skills and knowledge to a new level. If he's being wishy-washy on the move because of his worries over what he'll do for a living, perhaps you can help him actively look at employment opportunities online at seek.com or DOC website, etc.

It sounds like you are supportive of him seeking a career shift, so I don't see a need to offer you couples counseling here:p

[Carey]

Thanks for replies; we have had several discussions with Dept. of Conservation about applying for jobs but NZIM have now said finally that he cannot apply for any jobs without being resident in NZ because one goverment dept can't be seen to be favouring another dept. So still the hurdle of getting to NZ first, then we feel he would start off volunteering for DoC and get a foot in the door that way. But starting at the bottom again...

Yes Ourquest, he is not as committed as I am because he loves his job here and is wary of the unknown and would be giving up a lot. Whereas I love teaching here and am pretty confident I'll love teaching there. We also, last year , had an experience which I really pushed for,(6 months living in Sicily) he agreed to, it turned out to be very hard, he was very unhappy and so he's once bitten, twice shy about another change. We do actually have a very nice life here so although NZ pulls us, he approaches change with great caution. I embrace change and love an adventure! More talks tonight I think!!

[ourquest]

Carey, an understandably difficult dynamic for which I wish both of you mutual direction and success. I certainly can understand his caution too, I think even the most adventurous of us sometimes (rightly and paradoxically) err on the side of our comfort zones. It certainly works in my own situation that the two of us approach challenges with very different mindset...it does provide some balance for us and prevents us collectively causing pear-shaped outcomes! I am sure you have found this too, and once everything falls into place (which it will in one way or another) as a team you will be ideally suited to making a new start.
Best wishes.:)

[benandclare]

As Clare's OH, she was PA, I've taken a career change, that having reached the grand old age of 40 toomanyish, I'm no longer involved with farming having down it all my life from a wee small lad.

We took the decision that as farming can be very seasonal and exceptionallly long hours, with Clare having to work shifts we wanted to find work for mw that could fit in with them as near as possible.

So the part time milk delivery job is perfect and in the New Year Benz mowing,( lawnmowing ) should be up and running :nice1

Still miss some aspects of the farming especially the "big toys!!" and being involved with the development of spraying applications as I was in the UK but not the long hours.

Loving the milk job and looking forward to the challenges of my running own business ;)

Ben

[Moorf]

OH was principle applicant and I decided to give up my career in marketing when we got here - I've stuck to my guns (although at times it was tempting to go back in to it when you see the salaries) - but instead I've followed a long-term goal to write full-time and get paid for it - which, after 3 yrs in NZ, I now do.

Along the way I took jobs to support my goal - I've worked in surf shops, the library and a gas station (and I enjoyed all of the jobs!).

It's so nice not to have the stresses of big budgets, stroppy clients and paper-pushing. In the next couple of years it'll be hubby's turn to give up his programming work and turn his hand to something else - that's his plan :nice1

Could your hubby study for something here? Start his own business? Take up joinery or perhaps get himself a little craft shop where he can wittle the days away?

I guess it depends on whether you can live on one salary until he finds his niche - luckily we could do that (no kids to school/feed/clothe) - not everyone has that luxury.

Moorf

Hey Ben - oil up that chainsaw - got a few big trees to fell in the New Year. :p

[benandclare]

Hey Ben - oil up that chainsaw - got a few big trees to fell in the New Year. :p
Primed and ready to "massacre" those tree's :nice1

[nickydwuk]

Carey - it sounds as if you are going through a similar thing to me. I am principal applicant with a job offer. OH has worked in the motor industry all his working life and would love to get out of the factory and do something he enjoys - he loves gardening & horticulture but anything outdoors would be great, preferably part -time. I am selling it to him on the basis that he could semi-retire. We have worked out our finances and would be able to manage on my wages - just. But he still has doubts - he likes his life here, near his family and what is familiar. All you can do is keep talking about it, research together and apart. You have jumped the first hurdle in submitting your EOI - I have yet to do that. Only because we both want to be sure of the move - I could not submit it while OH is having doubts. Hang in there, I am sure with more research on the job sites he will find something that suits him then he will be all for it.:yes