[Tomsk]

I've been browsing this forum for ages, but reading and picking up bits and pieces rather than really joining in :o , largely because I think I've been in some kind of denial, this process has gone on so long that we were keeping it quiet, rather than risk boring everyone with the details. It's only really over Christmas that we've been sharing our news with our wider circle of family of friends, and the impact of that has really brought home what we're doing, and more scarily, what we're leaving behind.
My husband has a job offer with NZPol, we were interviewed Nov 06, job offer Dec 06, EOI in Jan 07, ITA Aug 07, PR granted Oct 07. He flies out Feb 20th 08 and will be based in Rotorua.
We delayed the job until the last possible intake because our son is due to sit his GCSEs in June 08, and after loads of debate and research we felt that it was best to let him complete them, so the children and I will be flying to NZ in late June 08 to reunite the family.
Suddenly though February seems very, very soon, and the nerves are kicking in. I do hope that we're doing the right thing. I'm definitely up for the adventure, but am scared about leaving friends and family behind, and worry big time about the impact on the children's education at such an important time. I do know that if we didn't do it I'd spend the rest of my life thinking "what if" so we're not likely to back out now..............even though I'm absolutely positive that this isn't going to be my first bout of the collywobbles:laugh
I know that no-one out there can tell me what it'll be like for us, but it sure does help to know that there are others going through this process and I'm not the only one getting very nervous. Or am I?

[Lara Croft]

Kate, we feel absolutely the same, and from other posters on this lovely forum, these feelings are pretty normal!

Like you, we kept quiet about our plans (apart from immediate friends and family) as it was taking soooo long, and we became fed up of talking about it. Now we are leaving for NZ in little over a week.... I keep looking at my christmas tree and thinking how traditional it seems, and then trying to come to terms with the fact that this will be our last 'cold' Christmas. It is a massive upheaval, and when you get closer to your leaving date you realise how massive! We have been so lucky so far: job offer, house buyer, everything falling into place... and still I am feeling very nervous. At the moment we are just saying goodbyes, and there are family members who still know nothing about it... oops!

I alternate between feeling exhausted and completely fed up of all the organising / packing / fretting, and feeling terrified. I know this change will be good for us, and I look forward to a different kind of life, but change is always scary. People ask us if we are excited, but in truth, we are too busy to take that step back and get excited! Hopefully we can relax once we are there, and then start to feel excited. For now, I still have to (a) carry on notifying the utility companies / credit cards / milkman (b) set up a mailbox and redirect our post (c) arrange for the rented telly to be picked up (d) borrow some camp beds to sleep on once our furniture has been whisked away (e) did I mention packing??? Oh and buy some new suitcases... and find somewhere to live.... aaarrggghhhh the list is endless....

Would I turn back the clocks and make the decision not to go?
Not a bit of it :)

Jane

[mgf]

Sounds extremely familiar. Trying to get all the paperwork together. Hoping you haven't forgotten something. Make the rounds to say goodbye to everyone. In the end it will all be worth it.

Mike

[scampi]

Hi Kate,
My name is Carol and I am Scampi's OH. This is my first post on the forum (more a watcher than talker, not that hubby would agree) :laugh I am in the same boat as yourselves. My husband is on the same Police Course as yours at Porarua in Feb and going by himself. He has been offered a post in Whangarei, Northland.

We are still trying to sell our house and he is going to do his training while we stay in the UK. Nervous is one word for how I am feeling, there is a big knot in my stomache at the thought of staying here without him. I never thought I would be like this as I am the composed, totally capable in any situation type of person.:uhoh Now all I can think about is how much organising, cancelling and packing there is to be done.

As a family we are all looking forward to starting a new adventure and we are both grateful that our kids want to come along for the ride, although the daughter gave us a FEW headaches, the 'will I, won't I and I can't leave my boyfriend kind'. After being told to finish college, get a job, find a flat or stay with the grandparents she realised that life was not a bed of roses and be stoney broke, she agreed to come with us.

Like you I don't want to say 'what if' I would rather it were 'at least we tried'. So keep the adventure in mind and if you are positive then the kids will be fine,

As Jane says :Would I turn back the clocks and make the decision not to go?
Not a bit of it.:nice1

Carol

[shakyle2906]

Hi

I remember those feeling soooo well!!

We have been here just over 8mths and are loving it!

Those last few weeks in the UK were hard going, emotions all over the place, family goodbyes(thats another story!!), it was never ending..........

It certainly didnt hit me until we were in the Motel the night before, and i am thinking 'we are off to NZ tomorrow.....', we had been so busy, we hadnt had time to really think about it.

Our 5yr old has settled so well here and we have never felt like we have made the wrong decision, we now call NZ 'home' and its like we have always been here.

I have to admit Christmas Day was a bit 'hard' but you get over it and make your own traditions over here like we had in the UK. NY was bit different, a lot quieter than we would have expected.

About 6yrs ago we paid an absolute fortune to emigrate to Australia, then backed out at the last minute as i had just fallen pregnant with our little one. We could have held it open for a year, but family pressure into not going (mainly hubbys parents) made our decision for us. Ever since then, we have kicked ourselves into thinking what could have been. This is why when hubby had the job offers over here, we thought, right, do we go for it or do we kick ourselves for another few years and not do it again. We are so glad we took the 'leap', a huge one as anyone will admit, and as everyone says, if it doesnt work out, at least you can go back to the UK and say you tried it.

Its been most difficult for us as parents in law havent been behind us at all like other familys have had, but we have stayed strong and its got us through. They were so against us, its taken 8mths for them to finally get the computer we bought them, sorted, and now we think after seeing us on the webcam for first time in 8mths, that we are settled, we are happy and we are not going back......

Good luck with everything and i am sure like us, in a few monthes, it will be like youve always been here. The preparation to actually get here is difficult, but as i said earlier, it is so worth it!!

Happy New Year!

Sharon
xx

[Tomsk]

Thank you so much for your responses and reassurances. I do know that we're doing the right thing really, it's just suddenly so daunting.

Carol, I know exactly how you feel. I've always maintained that I can cope with with anything, but now the thought of hubby off on the other side of the world whilst I sell a house, car, assorted other possessions, pack and get son through his GCSEs leaves me wondering who's getting the easier end of the bargain. But I know that some wives have struggled on their own in a new country with children whilst their partners were down at college, this way I might be struggling but I'll have established support networks around to help. And Jeff can have the fun of finding us somewhere to live, confirming school places and the like. It'll all be waiting for me when I arrive! I hope.

[wilson182]

We came over on "holiday" and decided to stay. OH got a job and we had a week to sort out somewhere to live, car, computer, work permit etc. I had to return to the UK with the kids to sort things out there. Getting on that plane without him was the most bizare thing I had ever done, I don't think the reality of what we were doing had quite sunk in. We intended to rent out the house, because if things hadn't worked out we would never have got back on the property ladder again. We figured that it would take probably approx 6 weeks in all, but it ended up being closer to 12 weeks - three months!!!!!!! I lost count of the times I questioned what we were doing.

It's funny because although this site was up and running, and we were members - there just weren't that many of us then, and most of us were still in the UK. I know Moorf made it to NZ just before we did!! When I look at the wealth of information on here now I have decided that we must have been either mad or stupid:laugh

But,

I wouldn't change it for the world. If it all fell apart now I would still have three years full of the most fantastic highs and the most dramatic lows. We have made new friends and experienced different cultures. My mum is coming over this year and I can't wait to show her the life we have build here.

So, good luck to all and keep your chin up. There will probably be many times (both in the UK and NZ) where you wonder what on earth you are doing and in the end you may decide that its not for you - but, as you say, at least you will not have to live with "what ifs"

Debs