[Tia Maria]

To all those who are in NZ or been to NZ and moved on ....

Do you think you can tell the ones that are going to enjoy the experience or settle? And the ones who are not going to cope or leave within a year?

I was thinking about this as I meet quite a few 'new arrivals' and quite often have a gut reaction as to whether they will be here in a years time or not. I also sometimes read posts and think, 'yep you'll do well' or 'Oh dear you're in for a bit of a rollercoaster ride.'.

I do think there are some tell tell signs, anyone else?

Cheers

Tia

[Moorf]

Definitely :yes

[dilanium]

so can you tell online, or only when you meet people in person?

;)

[K&CS]

I would say a bit of both (real life and online) tbh. I have been wrong on a couple of occasions but that was down to their circumstances changing rather than their attitudes changing!

[Kim39]

To be honest i thought i could, but some how i have been way short of the mark on some folk, and they haven't all been from the forum, but expats we have met here in TA. Now to me, could you read me Tia, Moorf, what's my take on it all. I'll give you a few days to come up with the answer. Be honest with your assumptions, and i'll be very honest with my answer.


Kim

[wilson182]

OOOH Can I have a go Kim

Ok, I reckon you will stick it out for a good long while. You deffinitely DO NOT have rose tinted specs, you see things how they are and you deal with them.

Am I even a little bit close.............

[jubjub]

I sometimes think I can, and some people are very open from the start when they are struggling (good on them for their honesty), a few have made it past that and are having a great time, others have succumbed to whatever factors where upsetting them and had to let go of the dream.

Well, Kim, you have never hidden the fact that the rest of your family love it here, but you are not so sure, and have really struggled with the job side of things.

I did wonder for a while if the job thing would have beaten you.... but it doesnt seem to have done!

I have a feeling you are not here forever, but are OK for now...

[Moorf]

Have to say, I've also been taken by surprise by some people, they look like they might not stay and can be overly-critical, and then suddenly life clicks into place and they're happy as.... some I know have overcome real family and financial struggles to stay here, whereas some just don't seem prepared to try. :confused:

As for you Kim, having never met or spoken to you except on here, you come across as being happy as long as your family is happy, to persevere in the face of frustration and to make the best of things. I'm not sure if you're a long-term stayer, I think you really love it here but as for seeing out your days... you're not sure yet!!

Talk about sticking my neck out!!! :uhoh

[Moorf]

Ohhh, spookily similar!!

[Tia Maria]

I'm just going to sound like a copy cat now!

I'd say it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you had to stay in NZ (ie for family) as I don't think you'd go back to the UK and your family are settled here.

But I'm guessing you often consider OZ .......

Also on Saturday you will be very lucky as long as you wear the colour green. :nice1

Cheers

Tia

[LesleyS]

I do think there are some tell tell signs, anyone else?

Cheers

Tia

Like what.......? I'll look out for them :nice1

[Kim39]

Hmmmm, interesting take from you up to yet. Now for the colour green to be worn on Saturday means i must go and slap a few bucks on the Lotto, and if i'm fortunate then NZ, UK, OZ...................??????? maybe i'll never come clean.


Kim

[Tia Maria]

Oy you! What happened to the very honest answer! Sounds more evasive to me. :p

Did you notice how you gave us all a few days and we all came back in a few minutes?!

If it turns out you are lucky with the Lotto on saturday (you know it could be 'lucky in love' :D ), then I'll take my 10% in chocolate thanks!

Cheers

Tia

[Leccy-Lee]

Ooh fun game, so will i be in NZ in a years time? LOL
I know i really want to be, but the hurdles are persuading NZIS (medicals etc) and major financial hurdles.

(Bookmarks this thread to reply to it in a years time.)

[Kim39]

Oy you! What happened to the very honest answer! Sounds more evasive to me. :p

Did you notice how you gave us all a few days and we all came back in a few minutes?!

If it turns out you are lucky with the Lotto on saturday (you know it could be 'lucky in love' :D ), then I'll take my 10% in chocolate thanks!

Cheers

Tia


Will leave it overnight thanks, but should Saturday be my day, what type of Choccies do you want Tia:p

Kim

[Tia Maria]

Galaxy or Galaxy Caramel or Minstrels ..... notice a theme here? :laugh

Cheers

Tia

[Kim39]

Galaxy or Galaxy Caramel or Minstrels ..... notice a theme here? :laugh

Cheers

Tia

U ain't getting the Galaxy, or Minstrels as they are mine and seeing they don't have them here apart from some english shops, if they should land on my doorstep then they'll be munched before you know it.....how about Whittakers.......yuk!!

Kim

[Sam B]

Yes I think you can tell, defo.

It's about how realistic people are in their original posts and also about how much help they seek in the early days and whether they are honest about their feelings. I think.

[Bruckner]

We came out with a "2 year/5 year" plan meaning the short term goal was 2 years for the IRRV and 5 years for citizenship BUT we were open to the idea of staying even longer if it worked out that way. It's not been easy. Greg still hasn't found a job and dealing with the deaths and sickness back home has been very stressful but our children are so happy and thriving. Struggling here certainly beats struggling back in our one bedroom apartment in NYC but we have to be realistic about Greg's career path too.

Recently my colleague was asking about our move and said, "Careful. Once you do a big move it can be very addicting!"

So who knows where we'll end up next? Actually, I have a pretty good idea...

Emily

[Carey]

Yes I think you can tell, defo.

It's about how realistic people are in their original posts and also about how much help they seek in the early days and whether they are honest about their feelings. I think.

So do we put ourselves up to be rated?!? Go on then; what do you think of our chances of success? Seriously, would be interested to hear if anyone has an opinion....

[Myrkk]

Hehe, you're going to have everyone asking the benefit of your experience now.

I'd love to know what you think our chances are but you probably haven't seen me around the forum enough.

[dilanium]

Well, I know I haven't spoken much of my grand plan- but if you want to, you can tell me what you think my chances are.

It won't keep me from coming either way- I'm going to give it a go whether for Vet school, or after completing a vet program here in the US.

:D

[Moorf]

I'll stick my neck out after a couple of pm's with you in the past (and our shared geeky hobby ;) ) plus your posts... you're a stayer and will find what you're looking for.... :yes

[Moorf]

Maybe we should start a "Psychic Immigrant" telephone helpline - just $9.99/min :D :laugh

[Bruckner]

Yeah, but you'd be stuck using Telecom!

Emily

[dilanium]

I'll stick my neck out after a couple of pm's with you in the past (and our shared geeky hobby ;) ) plus your posts... you're a stayer and will find what you're looking for.... :yes

who was this a reply to? (I think the ethiopian food I had has muddled my brain!)

[Moorf]

You m'dear!

[dilanium]

hehe- thanks. =D

[Tia Maria]

For me its not that I can look at someone and think 'OK they are going to have a good/bad experience'. Its just some posts are less encouraging than others and if a poster makes a lot of them and they are not balanced with more positive aspects it doesn't look so good.

As someone themselves who has always stated they are 'trying out' NZ, I never judge success on whether you stay in NZ or not, I judge it on whether you have a good time, enjoy the experience and learn from it. Someone may stay in NZ and be miserable but that, to me, is not success. Others may look at 'success' in a different way.

OK so sticking my neck out a bit, IMHO posts/comments that don't bode well:

1) People very driven by push factors, particularly general ones like politics, immigration and say things like 'well NZ has got to be better than this'.

2) People who don't understand that a 40% paycut will mean significant changes for how you live (I was guilty of this and it made the first few months very difficult)

3) Those who don't understand that moving to the otherside of the world is a momentous and costly challenge.

If you find that you hate everything with a vengence, that anything done differently is ridiculous, that you accept the positives of living on an island slightly behind the times (children play out, empty beaches etc) but not the negatives (lack of consumer goods, costly to fly home), then maybe consider for one moment that its not all NZ's fault, that maybe there is something about you that doesn't suit NZ?

If I moved to the countryside I would be miserable, but its not the countryside's fault, plenty of people find their piece of paradise there, it just doesn't suit me.

Positive posts/comments which, IMHO, do bode well:

1) People who have moved about a bit and appear flexible

2) Those that are excited about overcoming all the challenges

3) Those that have a big love of the outdoors, as this is probably what NZ does best. If a bad day at the office is improved by the fact that you can go fishing/surfing/exploring then its a good sign.

Hope this post doesn't get me in too much trouble ..... :exit

Cheers

Tia

[gil]

Shouldn't get you in trouble Tia, should get you rep! (won't let me give you any at the mo though :D)

Anything IYHO should be taken as just that: not as a fact!

It's funny this whole emigration mindset thing. Triggers are the jumping point, and they can be "move away from" or "move towards" triggers; some of us move away from "politics/immigration/rip-off-uk etc" and some move towards "better quality of life/less consumerism/something different etc" OR something happens like a bereavement/redundancy, one of those life-changing and -shaping events that cause us to re-think where we are, who we are and what we're doing.

I'm not sure which of those has a greater percentage chance of making it happen, just different things that motivate/drive us.

For me the key factor in whether a situation works for someone is their own attitude. Whilst I do understand that there can be clinical conditions that might affect this, such as depression, generally, to make oneself comfortable or happy in a situation, there are five things never to do: complain, compare, condemn, criticise and quit. Those are the "don't do's". The "do's" for this, then, are: accept; focus on what you can do now, where you are, with what you have; focus on what you can influence; focus on the good/best and speak well of; and give it time.

Now I'll get off my soapbox!

Gil
x

[Kim39]

Ok time to come clean..................

I feel that the responses about me a very close, in fact maybe bang on the button. Yes i have struggled and has been noted in my posts, because i feel it would be wrong to paint this wonderful picture for others to pick up on and maybe fall over at a later date due to my inaccuracies.

The whole experience i have had the pleasure to feel has been job related, and financially due to the job industry. I won't bore you with the in's and out's, and i shouldn't compare industries, but we are in the year 08 and surely they should be taking a lead out of Europe's book. Maybe one day they will sit up and see what is happening, but until then the industry will continue to suffer. I'm not the only Brit trucker to feel this way i can tell you. I have had truckers on this forum contact me, and i haven't told lies about what to expect as that would be wrong of me to do this.

Anyway onto lighter things. NZ has given us alot over the last two years that basically see's me staying here for a while longer yet. My two girls have more going for them here than they had back in Runcorn. Elaine feels more relaxed with what she has around her, whereas she was constantly feeling the burden of pressure back home. We are just to embark on our build (pegged out on Thursday, excavating this Wednesday), obviously this was a no no back home. I suppose i could go on about other various issues that is good/bad, but i just don't see the point. I'll just knuckle down and enjoy other aspects that NZ has to offer us..............for the time being;)

All i say, is well done The Psychic Quads Tia, Moorf, Lupin, and Sal for getting pretty close and being able to get inside my head from just one or two posts.


Kim

[gil]

All i say, is well done The Psychic Quads Tia, Moorf, Lupin, and Sal for getting pretty close and being able to get inside my head from just one or two posts.
Kim

One or two posts Kim? Your total says 1,718 at the moment :nice1

And good luck with the build...
Gil
x

PS Sorry, were you being ironic with "one or two" :D

[jubjub]

One or two posts Kim? Your total says 1,718 at the moment :nice1

And good luck with the build...
Gil
x

PS Sorry, were you being ironic with "one or two" :D


i was just typing that same reply! Great minds and all that...

Kim, enjoy the house build, hope it goes well, and who knows your own home built the way YOU want it might just tip the balance a bit more for you, eh? :nice1

[Kim39]

Kim, enjoy the house build, hope it goes well, and who knows your own home built the way YOU want it might just tip the balance a bit more for you, eh? :nice1

Sal, i'm just hoping that this will be the tonic i require that will make sure this is the place i want to be for a long time yet.


Kim

[dilanium]

I think, for me, one of the things that will help me succeed, is that I will not have worked in my industry anywhere else. I'm planning on getting my degree in NZ, and practicing in NZ. So I shouldn't notice as much that I'm earning less money.

In fact I'll think I'm doing rather well, since my hubby and I have lived on a pittance as students for many many years. =D

Yes, I'd like to get away from the political climate in the US, but I'm more drawn to NZ because of the slower way of life and the natural beauty.

Will I like it? I don't know. I'm going to give a try at the very least.

[Tia Maria]

Kim 39 wrote:

Sal, i'm just hoping that this will be the tonic i require that will make sure this is the place i want to be for a long time yet.

Or at least just make you feel comfortable on a 'day to day' basis. There are plenty of people, myself included, who after a period of feeling really unsettled, start to say 'actually this is OK'. Admittidly it is a big step down from everyone's hopes of finding paradise but you normally reaching this point by overcoming a lot of challenges and this only makes us better more capable people.

Its easy to think when you've emigrated this far that it should be 'the end of the line' and a chance to put your feet up, but I have come across many people for whom this is so not the case, for them the adventure continues and they are still excited.

There are the obvious examples of those that emigrate elsewhere. Some are embarking on a big career change, something about moving to a new country makes them think 'why not?!'.

Others are renting out their NZ homes and going to spend a couple of years in Europe or OZ. Or saving for when the kids are grown and taking a few years out pre-retirement, buying a round the world ticket and heading off for 3 years (some need to do this as a working holiday).

Its interesting as the last lot are actually doing the equivalent of an Expat OE, so it looks like some of the Kiwi culture has rubbed off on them after all! ;)

Good luck with it all Kim & family!

Cheers

Tia

[Familyofmonkeys]

This has been very interesting reading!! If the psychics fancy another go, i'd love to know what my future holds :laugh

[Familyofmonkeys]

Actually, I wasn't joking......so will be staying for good?

[Moorf]

Hmmm, we've met and PM'd.... I have you down as a stayer :nice1 (that'll be $4.50 please).... :D

[Tia Maria]

Actually, I wasn't joking......so will be staying for good?

I think you suit NZ and NZ suits you. If I remember rightly you've bought a plot on the South Island, so that is obviously 'untested' and gives me the impression that you like to move around a bit.

So you might build the dream home in the S Island but then get a case of the 'what nows?'. Obviously this can be fulfilled in all sorts of ways and not just by moving country.

So assuming you can find lots of things to keep you interested you will be a stayer. If you do decide to venture off then you will probably try to keep a foot in NZ if you can afford it.

Although now I've read that you've met Moorf, I think you've probably already booked your flights out of here :exit

Cheers

Tia

[jubjub]

Although now I've read that you've met Moorf, I think you've probably already booked your flights out of here

Cheers

Tia

Oi... :laugh she's lovely our Moorf... :p :D

Although I pretty much agree with Tia on the rest... see you soon, I can read your tea leaves! :nice1

[nippa&pippa]

Honestly, what do you think of our family? stayer or leaver?:laugh

[mgbridges]

Me too, me too... stayer or leaver?

OH always says I worry too much about what other people think of me (its true :o) but I'm curious and would really appreciate an honest answer.

Anneliese

[Familyofmonkeys]

Although now I've read that you've met Moorf, I think you've probably already booked your flights out of here :exit



:laugh :laugh

[Familyofmonkeys]

Oi... :laugh she's lovely our Moorf... :D

Although I pretty much agree with Tia on the rest... see you soon, I can read your tea leaves! :nice1

Or maybe I should have a coffee instead :D

[alan999]

generally, to make oneself comfortable or happy in a situation, there are five things never to do: complain, compare, condemn, criticise and quit. Those are the "don't do's". The "do's" for this, then, are: accept; focus on what you can do now, where you are, with what you have; focus on what you can influence; focus on the good/best and speak well of; and give it time.

Now I'll get off my soapbox!

Gil
x

Good advice, but I think that if anyone finds themselves in a situation where they have to apply the five "never dos" then they are having to work perhaps too hard at settling. Some will succeed, others not but the lucky ones are those who find themsleves NOT complaining, comparing et al.

The best advice of course is give it time.

[ourquest]

Some comment from us unqualified speakers who have not yet made the move:
Adaptation depends very much on how you are in your home country. Observation tells me that quality of housing, low renumeration, difficulty in getting certain products, distance from "home" and family, cost of air travel and the weather might be broad negative aspects people encounter when they arrive in NZ from differing countries.

So it will depend on your quality, price and size of housing in your home country, how much people get paid there in relation to consumer prices, closeness and psychological need for family, tendency to travel and personal adaptation to weather that will be measurable ways of determining likelyhood of staying.

But of course, consistent with many other threads I have posted, I would again say that these (less) measurable ways will be found at a personality level, and come down to your own tendency of materialism, adaptability, how family-centered you are, and how much these aspects allow you to overide the negatives which you will encounter. And more important, it isn't about encountering them, but about how you cope with them when you do encounter them. An ability to maintain perspective and objectivity with both negative and positives along the way is invaluable.

And these coping methods can be gained by staying true to your own principles, morals and goals, and identifying and working on your own areas of weakness long before you make the move. Keeping life as simple as possible, maintaining health and physical fitness and consciously maintaining balance in your life will go a long way to building your ability to cope. And those who have partners...remember to work hard at the relationship; communicate openly, act with unconditional love and remain tolerant of each others dreams and fears, after all, your partner will be your biggest source of support during settling in (and probably in the rest of your life also).

And if you already do all these things in your "home" country, you are well set up to adapt to a new one.
;)

But a far deeper question for Moorf...having apparently met in person...do Familyofmonkeys feet really look like they do in the photo? :laugh

[nippa&pippa]

But a far deeper question for Moorf...having apparently met in person...do Familyofmonkeys feet really look like they do in the photo? :laugh

I have also met FOM too with Moorf at my house:D ...I think it is OH's feet

[K&CS]

Gil and Tia have put it far more articulately than I ever could, but I agree with your sentiments entirely. Someone said to me the other day that you have to be happy inside your own head to make the move successfully, and I think there's something in that.

I've seen from other people how easily it is to decide you hate everything about NZ (and a lot of the time, it's just because it's different to their home country). I think it can also depend on how much you want to make it work as well. There are some people who really don't want to be here, and therefore are not going to go out of their way to be happy and make friendships and enjoy what NZ has to offer.

If I had been crippled with homesickness and misery, then I doubt we would have stayed, but I was determined that we were going to make it work, so I guess that made a difference to how I coped in the early days.

Whatever your personal circumstances though, I think you're far more likely to settle if you embrace what NZ has to offer and try not to make comparisons - enjoy the differences!

[granger]

OK so sticking my neck out a bit, IMHO posts/comments that don't bode well:

1) People very driven by push factors, particularly general ones like politics, immigration and say things like 'well NZ has got to be better than this'.



I know you said you were sticking your neck and it's YMHO so fair enough, but I've met quite a few Brits who've been here a while and still rant about things in the UK but love it here.

[Tia Maria]

I know you said you were sticking your neck and it's YMHO so fair enough, but I've met quite a few Brits who've been here a while and still rant about things in the UK but love it here.

Its not so much when this is one of the reasons but its more when it appears to be the main driving factor. I have often met people who say they are leaving due to immigration, politics, taxes etc but often have no idea about NZ politics, immigration and taxes, I think just assuming NZ will be different or better allows for a bigger shock when you get here.

I also think a move of this magnitude should be based on something a little more.

Also I was talking about people who are about to move or just landed and not those who have been here sometime. This is a very different perspective as comments are made more on their experiences in NZ. So if someone who has been here a while comments that the UK political situation was awful and they are much happier with the way NZ politicians run things, then good for them they've managed to find a place that suits them better! :)

Cheers

Tia

[Sam B]

Nippa&Pippa - defo stayers
Family of Monkeys - seem like stayers to me
mgbridges - stayers too

In my expert opinion.

I really agree with tia's first point about just moving because of push factors. It's fair enough to moan about the UK, hey it's a national pastime, but if it's the only reason for the move it's not a good sign I think.

[Moorf]

Strange though, cos I find it much easier to tell people they're stayers but when it comes to telling people I, imho, don't think NZ is right for them or vice versa it's a lot harder to do!

And as someone else said, people have different ways of verbalising stuff, some friends do have things they moan about but they do still love it here. I am one of the "wanted to get out of UK" gang and NZ hasn't disappointed us.

Feet - they're definitely man-jandals :D

Tia - :eek:

[Tia Maria]

Moorf wrote:

Tia - :eek:

Ahhh sorry about that, forgot to write the rest of the sentence, what it should say is:

Although now I've read that you've met Moorf, I think you've probably already booked your flights out of here :exit , and by here I mean Auckland, ready to start your new life on the South Island! :D

By the way I refuse to do anymore guesstimates unless FOM tells me whether I was close or not - scale of 1 to 10 will be fine. After all no point carrying on if I've lost my mojo!

Sam B wrote:

Nippa&Pippa - defo stayers
Family of Monkeys - seem like stayers to me
mgbridges - stayers too

In my expert opinion.

Shouldn't that be in your 'expert birthday opinion'? I'm sure this carries much more weight as people are usually right on their birthdays.

Cheers

Tia

[Sam B]

Absolutely - in my expert BIRTHDAY opinion.

[Moorf]

:o

[mgbridges]

Thanks Sam B and if Tia agrees with you I'll let you both know if you're on the money or not - deal? ;)

Anneliese

[Familyofmonkeys]

I have also met FOM too with Moorf at my house:D ...I think it is OH's feet

You'd be right :laugh

[Familyofmonkeys]

By the way I refuse to do anymore guesstimates unless FOM tells me whether I was close or not - scale of 1 to 10 will be fine. After all no point carrying on if I've lost my mojo!





I reckon you scored about 7 here :nice1

http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=14583

We haven't booked any flights...so i can't give you 10 i'm afraid :o

[Tia Maria]

OK 7 out of 10 is not too bad, but last ones really ....

Nippa&Pippa, I must admit I laughed when I read that you'd asked about whether you were stayers, I'd put you at the top of the list of stayers, from day 1 you seemed to have jumped into the kiwi lifestyle with both feet.

mgbridges - I actually find this harder to do because I've met you. So far you've got yourself a pretty good set up and I think if you (Anneliese) found a fab hobby or job in the next few years then you'll definitely be stayers.

But you've also moved about a bit, so I'm guessing you'll definitely make it to citizenship, then you'll look at where you are at, if all is good you'll stay, if not you'll go off exploring again.

I think I should stick with Sam B's quick answers - less chance for getting in trouble! ;)

Cheers

Tia

[veronica]

I reckon its more about recognising people who aren't going to be happy anywhere, rather than the vast majority of people who could make a go of it.

[Familyofmonkeys]

I reckon its more about recognising people who aren't going to be happy anywhere, rather than the vast majority of people who could make a go of it.

Interesting point!