tomo1340
10th January 2008, 02:01 PM
We are a small family considering the move to NZ. My partner Claire and I have two boys aged 3 and 1 and I have a boy aged 7 to my ex wife who wouldn't be going with us at this stage. Incidentally my 7 year old has an Auntie who recently emigrated to the north island.
Ok heres our story (Sorry it is a long one). About 15 months ago we decided we would actively look to emigrate to New Zealand, we had always discussed either NZ or Canada but never made any moves. We did research and began our expression of interest. Not long after the New year I was offered a job that included one month accomodation while we settled, and a fast track through the immigration process. The problem was that the house wasn't selling and then I was diagnosed with a small inner ear problem that required surgery. This made us shelve the idea for 12 months. I thanked the company for all their help and declined the offer even though deep down I really wanted it. Thing have changed over the past few months for us and while I have been medically fit to emigrate we still had the house to sell. Now we are rid of the house and living in rented. With the house going we weren't left with quite the money we thought we would need to get things moving, but the house had to go and there was no other way round it. I have money tied up in shares which I can sell at Easter and a sharesave scheme I can cash in should we decide we need it. In fairness the sharesave will have to be cashed in for monetry value should we emigrate this year as it is a sharesave with my employer. Money will be tight, and ultimately some sacrifices will have to be made but on the whole I think it is worth it. Right now I am keen to go, I have always liked the thrill of travelling but I wonder if my OH really feels the same. She has said she is worried that our kids will miss the family and I am sure they will, but to me it isn't like we will never see them again, infact I know it is going to crush me to leave my eldest son behind but I know that in the end it will be worth it, he should be able to come for long visits and eventually if he wants to he could move to New Zealand himself.
The problem now is things are starting to move on the job front and after reading an email today my OH held her head in her hands which led me to think it really isn't something she wants. I don't want to push her into emigrating because she wants to please me and my thoughts of travel and experiencing new things as in the end it would never work. She said she just didn't want it all to happen so fast like last time, and to be fair last year their was pressure on me to come out ahead of the family and start work as soon as possible and I can understand that she wants to be with me side by side as we have these first new experiences together, and also it would be a nightmare for her to single handedly deal with 2 kids for such a short flight, not to mention completely unfair on her. Retrospectively this is not an ideal way to start a new life away.
Has anyone been in similar situation?
We live in a very small town about an hour from my OHs family and about 40 mins from mine, the town is quite remote, there are less than 3000 people living in here and the surrounding villages. It's a little country town on the borders of Lancashire, Cumbria and North Yorkshire, our families remark that there is nothing here, but to us there is loads, we don't want anything other than country air, a few small shops, friendly neighbourhood and a couple of pubs, we both remarked the other day that this sort of set up in NZ would be ideal for us. We maybe see our family once a week, and usually there is a certain amount of antagonism involved, nothing particularly bad, more just gripes and moans about other people in the family, before we moved away from them every day would have somesort of annoyance whether it was one person being late to collect another persons child from nursery or full blown arguments. Since moving here and not seeing our families as often it has made me realise that when we don't see them for a while then they are more bearable for longer periods of time. We have holidayed with one of my brothers and his family twice in the past and while we couldn't agree on much the first time we went away the second time was actually bliss, none of us expected anyone else to do anything and we were all very relaxed and accommodating, so having family over from the UK or us visiting family in the UK would kind of like this in my 'vision'. For instance if we were to holiday back in the UK, we could stay with the outlaws for a couple of weeks and go and do what we wanted and visit who we wanted. When the situation reverses I would like to think we could have the family over to use our house as a base station where they could have a holiday without the expense of accommodation, but where there would be no pressure on us to give them a complete 10 hour guided itenerary each day, or any pressure on our guests to feel they must either spend a lot of time with us or conversely spend little time with us. I suppose what I am trying to say is I would rather see our families for quality, no pressure time once or twice a year for longer periods.
Having been in the army and been to quite a few places in the world I feel I can settle into most environments with minimal fuss, each new posting for me whilst serving threw up new people to meet, different currency to use, different climate to get used to, different time zones etc. One particular posting that always gives me fond memories is a posting to the Falkland islands, having seen images and videos of New Zealand some of it looks similar, especially the clear blue skies, I just don't remember seeing the sky so blue back in blighty, and many people I talk to in New Zealand say this to me. Is that the migrants imagination? Instead if the grass being greener perhaps it's a case of the sky being bluer??:p
Anyway, great site and forum with loads of info to read, been a lurker for a while but it's great to be involved.
Ok heres our story (Sorry it is a long one). About 15 months ago we decided we would actively look to emigrate to New Zealand, we had always discussed either NZ or Canada but never made any moves. We did research and began our expression of interest. Not long after the New year I was offered a job that included one month accomodation while we settled, and a fast track through the immigration process. The problem was that the house wasn't selling and then I was diagnosed with a small inner ear problem that required surgery. This made us shelve the idea for 12 months. I thanked the company for all their help and declined the offer even though deep down I really wanted it. Thing have changed over the past few months for us and while I have been medically fit to emigrate we still had the house to sell. Now we are rid of the house and living in rented. With the house going we weren't left with quite the money we thought we would need to get things moving, but the house had to go and there was no other way round it. I have money tied up in shares which I can sell at Easter and a sharesave scheme I can cash in should we decide we need it. In fairness the sharesave will have to be cashed in for monetry value should we emigrate this year as it is a sharesave with my employer. Money will be tight, and ultimately some sacrifices will have to be made but on the whole I think it is worth it. Right now I am keen to go, I have always liked the thrill of travelling but I wonder if my OH really feels the same. She has said she is worried that our kids will miss the family and I am sure they will, but to me it isn't like we will never see them again, infact I know it is going to crush me to leave my eldest son behind but I know that in the end it will be worth it, he should be able to come for long visits and eventually if he wants to he could move to New Zealand himself.
The problem now is things are starting to move on the job front and after reading an email today my OH held her head in her hands which led me to think it really isn't something she wants. I don't want to push her into emigrating because she wants to please me and my thoughts of travel and experiencing new things as in the end it would never work. She said she just didn't want it all to happen so fast like last time, and to be fair last year their was pressure on me to come out ahead of the family and start work as soon as possible and I can understand that she wants to be with me side by side as we have these first new experiences together, and also it would be a nightmare for her to single handedly deal with 2 kids for such a short flight, not to mention completely unfair on her. Retrospectively this is not an ideal way to start a new life away.
Has anyone been in similar situation?
We live in a very small town about an hour from my OHs family and about 40 mins from mine, the town is quite remote, there are less than 3000 people living in here and the surrounding villages. It's a little country town on the borders of Lancashire, Cumbria and North Yorkshire, our families remark that there is nothing here, but to us there is loads, we don't want anything other than country air, a few small shops, friendly neighbourhood and a couple of pubs, we both remarked the other day that this sort of set up in NZ would be ideal for us. We maybe see our family once a week, and usually there is a certain amount of antagonism involved, nothing particularly bad, more just gripes and moans about other people in the family, before we moved away from them every day would have somesort of annoyance whether it was one person being late to collect another persons child from nursery or full blown arguments. Since moving here and not seeing our families as often it has made me realise that when we don't see them for a while then they are more bearable for longer periods of time. We have holidayed with one of my brothers and his family twice in the past and while we couldn't agree on much the first time we went away the second time was actually bliss, none of us expected anyone else to do anything and we were all very relaxed and accommodating, so having family over from the UK or us visiting family in the UK would kind of like this in my 'vision'. For instance if we were to holiday back in the UK, we could stay with the outlaws for a couple of weeks and go and do what we wanted and visit who we wanted. When the situation reverses I would like to think we could have the family over to use our house as a base station where they could have a holiday without the expense of accommodation, but where there would be no pressure on us to give them a complete 10 hour guided itenerary each day, or any pressure on our guests to feel they must either spend a lot of time with us or conversely spend little time with us. I suppose what I am trying to say is I would rather see our families for quality, no pressure time once or twice a year for longer periods.
Having been in the army and been to quite a few places in the world I feel I can settle into most environments with minimal fuss, each new posting for me whilst serving threw up new people to meet, different currency to use, different climate to get used to, different time zones etc. One particular posting that always gives me fond memories is a posting to the Falkland islands, having seen images and videos of New Zealand some of it looks similar, especially the clear blue skies, I just don't remember seeing the sky so blue back in blighty, and many people I talk to in New Zealand say this to me. Is that the migrants imagination? Instead if the grass being greener perhaps it's a case of the sky being bluer??:p
Anyway, great site and forum with loads of info to read, been a lurker for a while but it's great to be involved.