[willsken]

Well I'm not really sure how to write this post as a lot of how I feel was covered in previous update posts. I think I'll start by saying that even though NZ is far from perfect I will never willingly go back to the life I had in the UK. I personally was unhappy there and the way things are over there I can't see it ever changing. I suppose it's only a matter of time before NZ goes in the same direction but it isn't there yet and I'm willing to take what I can for now.

I suppose I need to clarify my thoughts a little as the things I found so hard to live with won't be a problem for many living in the UK. I hated the way it seemed EVERYTHING was sexualised there and I hated trying to bring children up in such a horrible environment. As an adult it's not something I feel bothered by but as a mother I detested it. As a teacher I found the behaviour of some of the youngsters very very sad but as a mother I was determined to remove my own children from that society. Anyway enough said on this issue, as it is a personal view only.

Now to share my feelings after just over a year of living here. I find life here very relaxing to the point I can see some people finding it very dull. (Do bare in mind I live in a very small town and parts of NZ I have visited seem to have plenty to do) The shopping is not the best.... to say the least! ;) Again I have never been a great shopper and there has been nothing I can't get here, it just takes a little extra effort on occasion to get it. Example, a band for my VAX vacuum cleaner. I had to get it ordered in and I waited nearly a week.

Cost of living - I really can't say I find it more expensive over all to the UK. Some things are a lot cheaper and other things are outrageously expensive. I just think it balances out for us as a family and we have disposable income here. We have to consider retirement and that is something we have seen an accountant about and are in the process of putting things together.

We also have opportunities here we would never have had in the UK. We have a couple of plots of land and will be building on them in future. I am going to get a horse (in a year or so now, once my leg is 100%) I have a huge garden and the boys can fit in a pool and a trampoline! I haven’t sat in traffic since we arrived and I have a 5 minute journey to work instead of nearly an hour. My children have all the amenities (swimming pool, cinema etc) they need and I am happy for them to go off on their bikes on their own. OH has 5 reasonably priced golf courses within a 20 min drive and the beach is 30 minutes away.

I love my job here, as I did in the UK, but the kids are different here. I really struggle to put my finger on what is so different about them. I can only say they lack the arrogance of the kids I encountered in the UK. There is more to it than that but I can’t describe the difference adequately. The people here are great and I love the way people go out of their way to help you. We have all made friends here and also have a lot of people we say hello to in the street.

I read back on this post and I feel there is so much more to say. I think I’ll just sum up how the move has been for us as a family. We are more content and happy than we have been for years. One regret is leaving family behind. I can really say for us this is the only regret we have.

[dharder]

Thanks for this post, Nicola. It seems very balanced and very 'real', and I'm glad to hear that you are happy with your choice :)

I hated the way it seemed EVERYTHING was sexualised there and I hated trying to bring children up in such a horrible environment. As an adult it's not something I feel bothered by but as a mother I detested it. As a teacher I found the behaviour of some of the youngsters very very sad but as a mother I was determined to remove my own children from that society. Anyway enough said on this issue, as it is a personal view only.

Could you please elaborate, if you feel like it? I find this very interesting, and would like to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Do you mean sexualised as in the way children behave/are taught to behave? Or dress? Or more society as a whole?

Daniela

[willsken]

Daniela I will PM you.:yes

[Helsandfamily]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with Daniella it was a very balanced post, and a lot of thought had gone into it.

Thanks
Hels

[ellenmelon]

have you really been here a year?

actually willsken, it's all a dream. you suffered a knock on the head in a tornado and went to a magical land that is inhabited with small people and animals that can talk ;) ;)

[willsken]

have you really been here a year?

actually willsken, it's all a dream. you suffered a knock on the head in a tornado and went to a magical land that is inhabited with small people and animals that can talk ;) ;)

I definitely suffered a knock on my head 8 weeks ago.... but it was only a horse speaking to me when I woke up, saying how sorry he was to have broken my leg!!! :roll:D

[Lupin]

How is your leg Nic?

Lovely post :)

I agree with your comments about childhood being over-sexualised in the UK and I'd add to that over-gendered, both of which are much less an issue here. I find the less rigid gender roles in school, sport, etc really liberating for my girls :clap

A year already- where did it go?!?!

Fancy a coffee before the hols are over?

[jubjub]

I can't believe you have been here a year either!

You seem to have settled in quite well down there...

You still going to try and buy that horse, or have you gone off them now?? :)

[StevieD]

Ellen, have you been out in the bush???? :laugh

Nicola, Mark and kids, congrats on the first year. Great post, can understand where you are coming from and what your post highlights can certainly sum up our first 9 months here too.

Doesn't seem to long ago that Mark and the boys came up for that game at Anfield on that cold winter night ...... now look where we are!!!

Congrats again.

Steve, Jan and kids

[willsken]

How is your leg Nic?

Lovely post

I agree with your comments about childhood being over-sexualised in the UK and I'd add to that over-gendered, both of which are much less an issue here. I find the less rigid gender roles in school, sport, etc really liberating for my girls :clap

A year already- where did it go?!?!

Fancy a coffee before the hols are over?


Would love to have a coffee. It'll have to be at waipuk as I cant get around very well at the moment!:roll Let me know when you're free. :D

[willsken]

I can't believe you have been here a year either!

You seem to have settled in quite well down there...

You still going to try and buy that horse, or have you gone off them now?? :)

Oh yes, I have to buy it now. I ordered all the horsey stuff and it was delivered the day after I broke my leg!! Can't let it all go to waste now can I??:laugh

[willsken]

Doesn't seem to long ago that Mark and the boys came up for that game at Anfield on that cold winter night ...... now look where we are!!!

Congrats again.

Steve, Jan and kids

And didn't you just make their year for them. Something they won't forget that's for sure! :clap :clap :clap

[vixxann]

Great post :yes and congrats on your one year
Here's to many more:cheers

[dharder]

I agree with your comments about childhood being over-sexualised in the UK and I'd add to that over-gendered, both of which are much less an issue here. I find the less rigid gender roles in school, sport, etc really liberating for my girls :clap

This is funny :) I just agreed with Nicola in a pm, but mentioned that I don't find the gender roles any less rigid here at all, actually rather the opposite. Maybe that is because I have boys in the system so far? I really am no fan of all this 'real' boy stuff, and hear that a lot more here than in the UK. There are also more jokes about boys who aren't 'real' boys, or who might not look like or act or dress like people want boys to behave.

And I honestly cannot remember in my entire life being informed in a DIY store that I could always come back and return the item if my husband found it was the wrong one...

I also find the expectations as far as roles are concerned not less rigid, and voiced concern at the girls' kindergarten re their forms (they assume it is mum to comes and enrols them and is the primary caregiver).

But I also mentioned that I obviously haven't been here very long, but so far, even though there is less naked flesh to be seen and fewer bare midriffs in preteens, I haven't seen the gender roles less rigid.

Sorry, Nicola, to hijack your thread with this :)

Daniela

[Lupin]

This is funny :) I just agreed with Nicola in a pm, but mentioned that I don't find the gender roles any less rigid here at all, actually rather the opposite. Maybe that is because I have boys in the system so far? I really am no fan of all this 'real' boy stuff, and hear that a lot more here than in the UK. There are also more jokes about boys who aren't 'real' boys, or who might not look like or act or dress like people want boys to behave.

And I honestly cannot remember in my entire life being informed in a DIY store that I could always come back and return the item if my husband found it was the wrong one...

I also find the expectations as far as roles are concerned not less rigid, and voiced concern at the girls' kindergarten re their forms (they assume it is mum to comes and enrols them and is the primary caregiver).


Daniela

Yes, perhaps it is because I only have daughters. Could be an Auckland-rural divide too perhaps. I shall think on it some :)

[Moorf]

Times flies, eh Nic :nice1

Here's to many, many more... :cheers

Moorf
x

[shakyle2906]

Nic

I remember emailing you when you were in London waiting to fly.......... where has the last year gone ??

Cant believe that in 3mths, we too will have been here a year!

We both love it here and agree its the best move we ever made, for our sake as well as our sons. Things have been hard, but like you, the only regret we have is leaving family.

Heres to the next year!

Perhaps when you are on your feet again, we can have a coffee. It was great meeting you and Lupin when i first moved over.

Sharon
xx

[Sam B]

I thought you'd been here AGES longer than me, and it turns out we were practically on the same plane! Hope you're on the mend now. Great post too.

[Familyofmonkeys]

This is funny :) I just agreed with Nicola in a pm, but mentioned that I don't find the gender roles any less rigid here at all, actually rather the opposite. Maybe that is because I have boys in the system so far? I really am no fan of all this 'real' boy stuff, and hear that a lot more here than in the UK. There are also more jokes about boys who aren't 'real' boys, or who might not look like or act or dress like people want boys to behave.

And I honestly cannot remember in my entire life being informed in a DIY store that I could always come back and return the item if my husband found it was the wrong one...

I also find the expectations as far as roles are concerned not less rigid, and voiced concern at the girls' kindergarten re their forms (they assume it is mum to comes and enrols them and is the primary caregiver).

But I also mentioned that I obviously haven't been here very long, but so far, even though there is less naked flesh to be seen and fewer bare midriffs in preteens, I haven't seen the gender roles less rigid.

Sorry, Nicola, to hijack your thread with this :)

Daniela

I also find this very interesting reading, as I have both girl and boys. They are really too young to be influenced in gender specific roles, but I do worry about them being pushed a certain way when they are older. Might sound silly, but it used to wind me up that in UK. Even as early as primary school they had this whole boys do football/girls do netball thing. I want all my kids to have the same opportunities and then they can choose their own path!

Good post BTW Nicola :nice1

[Pip]

Great post... I can't believe you've been a year (or that we will have been next month) and I totally agree with you - NZ is not perfect by a long shot, but having just been back to the UK, really reminded me of the reasons why we moved - which thankfully don't at present exist here to the same extent!

[granger]

Thanks for the post Willsken, Great Read.