[Jo Jo]

OK, this is probably going to sound a bit silly, but I find in New Zealand I don't know how to adults are supposed to behave with children, specifically with children they don't know.

I'd better explain what I mean: I have got a new puppy, and not surprisingly the children in my street really want to play with him. Just now, a little girl turned up at my back door wanting to see the puppy. I asked her if her mummy and daddy knew she had come round to see me (well, him not me!), and she said yes, but I guessed they didn't, so took her back home to ask their permission. It turns out they didn't know she had come to my house, and they got embarrassed and told her she shouldn't be bothering me, but she wasn't bothering me at all - I just wanted to check her parents were happy with her coming to my house. Now I'm worried I might have unwittingly caused offence or embarrassment by acting as I would have done in London. I hope this makes sense.

Did I do the right thing or was I being over-protective? What would people normally do in this situation in NZ?

[jubjub]

I would still check if the parents knew where the child was. I would go nuts if AJ vanished to a random undislosed location, even if it was to play with a nice friendly neighbour and a puppy!

[Tia Maria]

I suspect they are more embarrassed by their child's behaviour than worried about yours, as parents we always feel guilty! :D

I think you did the right thing to err on the side of caution, I would have taken her back also. You can always say, in front of the child's mum, 'so when do you think your Mum would think its a good idea for you to come and see the puppy?'. That way you show you are happy for this to happen, but also make it clear that these things are organised in advance by adults.

You get it all the time with kids inviting their friends over for play dates without their parents knowing, so its always made clear that these things are organised by the grown ups, or 'only if mum says its a good idea'.

Cheers

Tia

[Jo Jo]

Phew! Thanks for the reassurance. When I spoke to her mum I did say I just wanted to check that she was happy for the little girl to come and play with the puppy, which she was and the little girl has tired the pup out - yay!

I might post more about this later, as I'd really like to understand what the "rules" are here, but it seems it's now puppy playtime again judging by the little yaps I can hear.

[wilson182]

Sounds to me like your instincts are good Jo Jo, and as Tia said - it's better to err on the side of caution - I would have done the same thing. They will soon get to know that you are happy for the kids to play with him, but by the same token - and with all good intentions - it's not always going to be convenient for you.