[dilanium]

And for once it doesn't have to do with MAF or USDA regulations!

(Warning- vent of frustration impending)

My mother is not being supportive of the cat coming with us. This is frustrating as this could mean less support later if we need it. She's claiming that the money she gave us for Christmas is being used in ways that are not good. She's claiming that we're putting ourselves at risk by spending this money to take our cat with us instead of saving it to take care of ourselves.

I don't know how to explain to her that the cat is coming down with us.

*sigh*

I'm willing to agree to have her ship the cat a few months later (I need to run this by the OH before suggesting it) to show that we are set to take the cat with us, but I'm not sure this will work for her.

As it stands, if we bring the cat ASAP then he arrives after my first semester (thanks to issues with the USDA) which works for us in that we can find a place to live after living in the dorms for a few months and getting our bearings, and having him come a little later is not a big deal- but I'm frustrated, and I'm sick of trying to explain this to my mother. (who has called this an unnatural emotional connection with my cat :wah ).

[Gemini]

Some people just don't see how others can spend what they see as large amounts of money on an animal. I know OH sister thought we were insane bringing our cats here and some people in the UK also thought it was ridiculous to "waste" that kind of money and why not just rehome the cats :roll

I don't think we'd have been able to have someone ship our cats later, we used to envisage all kinds of scenarios like they'd lose the cat, not look after them properly etc. The idea just drove us crazy so we shipped them to arrive two days behind us!

It comes down to personal priorities I guess and I don't know how you'd get this across to your mother as clearly she's is seeing the issue from a practical and not an emotional point of view. I wish you the best of luck in resolving it, as you don't need added stress :)

[JandM]

Sorry to hear this, Liz. There isn't anything anybody but you can do about this problem, is there? As you're one of the people whose animals are family members, not just adjuncts, it's unthinkable to leave him, but others don't relate to that way of being.

My m-i-l used to have this same attitude towards gifts, and it's maddening. She'd given it, it's yours, but she thinks she has rights to criticize what you do with it.:mad:

[dilanium]

I don't know that there's anything I can do about the problem either. If I leave the cat (make my mom happy) I'll be really upset (to put it lightly). If I take the cat my mother will likely not speak to me or support me (which she has promised to do).

[Andy-Dee]

Say the cat has run away - then ship it secretly. If she comes to visit - say - who would have thought we'd find a cat so similiar to our old one!!!!

Some times needs must!

[JandM]

That's really clever. I feel a short story coming on!

[CJ22]

I'd abandon my mother before I abandoned my cats! HTH :)

[BkyMonster]

I've been thinking on this some. Unfortunately your mother is probably upset that you are leaving (at some level, conscious or not) and is using the cat situation to express some of her frustration. :(
You may already know that though. But if you didn't it might help to know...?

I know some of my family thinks I'm odd for taking my dogs, but when I adopted them it was a commitment and I don't see a better situation for them should I leave them behind. The only way I would give them up is if I felt they would be happier without me. I also point out that they are (generally) cheap to care for and bring me great comfort for the occasional large expense they incur.

Hope you figure it out :(

[JandM]

I know some of my family thinks I'm odd for taking my dogs, but when I adopted them it was a commitment and I don't see a better situation for them should I leave them behind. The only way I would give them up is if I felt they would be happier without me. You're evidently another person who respects animals' feelings. Good for you.:)

I always remember having a French house-guest, who looked in amazement when one of our cats came in, jumped onto my lap, greeted me and kissed me on the nose.

She said, 'You appreciate cats to that degree?'

I said, 'It's not a question of appreciation. He's another member of the household. He hasn't seen me for a couple of hours, and he's letting me know he's glad to see me back, specially as things are different with visitors here.'

'I didn't know animals could think like that,' she said. 'I didn't think they thought at all.'

It's sad, really, isn't it?

[dusk]

Hope you can find a way to resolve things with your mum and still take the kitty with you.

[dilanium]

Well it's come to this: My mother wrote me a five page long email on why I should not take the cat with me. At the end she said it's my decision, but if I take the cat with me I can't leave him with her in the time between when I leave and he leaves.

Which is actually what I've been planning on doing anyway.

So I'm just not going to talk to her anymore on that subject (it is closed). And look to the future for other better things!

[JandM]

(((((Liz))))) So, is the cat going with you asap, in the end?

[dilanium]

Yes, more than likely. It unfortunately, is not as soon as I'd like it thanks to a screw up at a "knowledgeable" Vet clinic.

However, as soon as my cat can come, he will.

[JandM]

Good.

Well, if YOU can get your plans screwed up by a vet clinic, it must be able to happen to anybody, alas!

[dilanium]

This happened before I was even working at a different clinic than the one I took my cat to. Now I'm having the clinic I work at do all the work (esp since I've learned what REALLY needs to happen).

The only problem I'm having now is getting my money back from the other vet clinic for the test they ran that didn't count.

[aberdian]

Ours are having to stay and be rehomed - they've just been diagnosed with FIV (cat HIV) and the vet won't pass one fit to travel (rightly so) as he's scratchy and who knows what he'd be like cooped up on a long flight. We can't split up him and his sister - wouldn't be fair, so they're having to stay. Heartbreaking :( But at least it cuts down on shipping costs (£1750) looking on the bright side.....

[JandM]

Ours are having to stay and be rehomed - they've just been diagnosed with FIV (cat HIV) and the vet won't pass one fit to travel (rightly so) as he's scratchy and who knows what he'd be like cooped up on a long flight. We can't split up him and his sister - wouldn't be fair, so they're having to stay. Heartbreaking :( But at least it cuts down on shipping costs (£1750) looking on the bright side.....
Oh, what a shame... although the finances have to help.

[CjChris]

Sorry to hear your mom is not handling this well.

I learned the hard way that sharing information like how much things cost (the cats, the flights, the removals company, etc) just made people think we were A) loaded B) crazy C) selfish and D) did I say crazy??? :eek:

I stopped sharing info way back at the beginning of this thing, and my advice to others is to be very selective with what you share (if anything) of your details. There are some things my family and friends just don't handle well...not even my mom, who doesn't understand where we are coming from on any of the things we are doing. I don't feel a bit badly about keeping her and others in the dark about our details. I don't know what they spend on things, so why should anyone know what I'm spending?? If I told them how much our rent is here in NZ, they'd totally freak out. If they knew how much we spent to bring our cats (yes, plural!) to NZ and keep them in quarantine for 30 days, they'd wonder why we didn't just give up the cats and give them the money instead!

We did feel guilt over spending so much on the cats, but we love them, they are a part of our lives, and we couldn't bear starting over without them. It has been worth the money spent even though we've tightened our budget because of what we spent on them. These loving kitties have made our transition from the US to NZ a better one, and anyone who doesn't understand that needn't judge me for it!

Ok, I'll step off my soapbox now!! :D

[zardell]

Sorry to hear your mom is not handling this well.

I learned the hard way that sharing information like how much things cost (the cats, the flights, the removals company, etc) just made people think we were A) loaded B) crazy C) selfish and D) did I say crazy??? :eek:

I stopped sharing info way back at the beginning of this thing, and my advice to others is to be very selective with what you share (if anything) of your details. There are some things my family and friends just don't handle well...not even my mom, who doesn't understand where we are coming from on any of the things we are doing. I don't feel a bit badly about keeping her and others in the dark about our details. I don't know what they spend on things, so why should anyone know what I'm spending?? If I told them how much our rent is here in NZ, they'd totally freak out. If they knew how much we spent to bring our cats (yes, plural!) to NZ and keep them in quarantine for 30 days, they'd wonder why we didn't just give up the cats and give them the money instead!

We did feel guilt over spending so much on the cats, but we love them, they are a part of our lives, and we couldn't bear starting over without them. It has been worth the money spent even though we've tightened our budget because of what we spent on them. These loving kitties have made our transition from the US to NZ a better one, and anyone who doesn't understand that needn't judge me for it!

Ok, I'll step off my soapbox now!! :D



:clap

Well said !!

Julie

xx

[JandM]

:) :yes :clap :nice1 No need at all for any soapbox as far as I'm concerned.

[dilanium]

I've got a friend who has agreed to watch my cat between when we leave and he follows us. What a relief.

[JandM]

WHAT good news, Liz.

[dilanium]

I just wanted to add that the new rabies titre came back okay, and the previous vet clinic has given me a credit for the first titre.

So that's going well.

[JandM]

Well done, that cat.:)

[dusk]

good news!

[dilanium]

I've just received the permit to import my cat! What a birthday present!

[KerryS]

Great news Liz - and Happy Birthday!

[mgbridges]

Woo Hoo - what a brilliant birthday present for you. :clap :clap

Anneliese

[slider]

Great news. Congratulations :cheers

[JandM]

Oh, LOVELY! I'm so pleased for you (both).:clap

[Jo Jo]

Wonderful news! I bet that's a weight off your mind.

[Kiwi-In-Texas]

Sounds as though everything is falling into place for you.

[dilanium]

Sounds as though everything is falling into place for you.

Indeed. Though I feel more like I'm trying to smash everything into place with a sledgehammer at the moment.

[Nienke]

:p don't smash it too hard!
Congrats on the permit, and your birthday!

[dilanium]

So we dropped my cat off at my friend's house today. I cried most of the way home. :wah

And I just had a moment of extreme panic that he would get out and never be seen again. :exit Well since I had to microchip him for the trip to NZ I decided to register the number in case he did get out. And I registered the number to the vet clinic I used to work for.

I feel a little better.

I still miss him though, he'd normally be sitting next to me cuddling with me right now. :wah

[zardell]

Chin up.

You'll soon have him back with you.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))

Julie

xx

[JandM]

(((((((())))))))) Oh, I know... We still look around for ours, and he's gone the permanent way, a year ago last October.

[dilanium]

Aww, thanks Julie and JandM. I intellectually know that he'll be okay, I'm just really worried that he'll get lost. I think I may stop by later today to just see how he's doing (while I still can).

Of course worrying about him has me up at 4am right now. I hope I learn to get some sleep, or I'm in for a rough 3.5 months.

[JandM]

3 1/2 months? Is that how long till he's being shipped out to join you? You'll have to 'think' to him lots.

[dilanium]

Yup. 3 1/2 months. Then he's in quarrantine for a month. But at least then he'll be close enough for me to visit.

[JandM]

Awww. How old is he?

[dilanium]

6 years old. I've had him since he was a kitten.

[JandM]

Happy landings to all of you. Families should stick together.:nice1

[dilanium]

I just spoke with my friend. She said my cat's doing okay. He's hiding in their bedroom right now with the door closed so he can have a break from their cat, and so they can have the doors open during their Memorial day party.

I feel better now. I had all kinds of nightmares that he already got out and run over by a car.

[dilanium]

And to add to the frustration... He was supposed to be here last Saturday, but due to to a clerical error on his microchip number he's been delayed. I had to reapply for a permit from MAF, which involves getting all the new paperwork stamped and signed by the USDA. Which they have done and it's back in the mail to my vet who will fax it to MAF directly.

I have to apply for a one week extension on my cat's tests because of this. Hopefully this will all get done without a problem.

[Flutterby]

after reading through this i feel rather guilty about rehoming my 4 moggies who cannot come with us (due to lack of finance) i've had to listen to the logical solution rather than the emotional one from everybody in mine/partners family
i even considered taking just 1 with us, but we each have our favourite, so its never going to be a fair decision! i just pray that i can find a good home, hopefully where they can stay together, with an owner who will stay in contact and keep me updated with photos etc.

[JandM]

Oh, LIZ... after all this, you do so deserve for things to come right in the end.

[Jo_b]

I'm with you on this - we shipped our two moggies from the UK with us. It was the most stressful part of the whole moving experience (it was fine when it happened, but I was very nervous!), and we didn't consider for a second palming them off on someone else. We adopted them, they are our responsibility, and we love them! Some people won't 'get it', but to me the cats are family. Explain to her that moving countries is a scary experience, and having your faithful family friend will help your transition. Taking the big step, missing family and friends and pining for your cat all in one go would be very hard! Anyway, its only money getting in the way - you can pay her back ten times over in the future.

[dilanium]

Now I am just waiting for MAF to approve the permit, as they have all the paperwork in their possession. Too bad it's Saturday.

[lindreth]

Liz, would you mind sharing what the total cost has been/will be to emigrate the kitty? We have heard numbers in the US$5,000 range (from the states). Is this similar to your experience?

[dilanium]

1. I'm paying around US$3000. but most of my vet appointments were discounted.


2. My cat ran away from my friends house and missed the most recent appointment:uhoh, which sucks as he needs his domestic health certificate to fly over to LA on monday morning. I'm going to have to delay that flight and have that appointment monday morning if they find him:wah... I hope he's found soon, and this doesn't make him pass the one month mark with his most recent rabies titre.

[Mrs Pony]

oh no! I hope they find him soon too!

[Hope]

Hi Liz
I really hope your cat comes back soon - I know how awful it is when they go walkabout and I cannot imagine how stressful it must be with the pressure of MAF deadlines on top of it. Holding thumbs it all comes together for you in time.

[JandM]

Fingers crossed.++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[dilanium]

my cat has been located, so now i'm just back to worrying about whether we'll get his import permit in time.

[Hippywench]

Thank goodness for that. Its awful when they go missing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the paperwork.

[JandM]

Oh, excellent. Good luck!:nice1

[BkyMonster]

Good luck with your cat. Hopefully everything else will go smoothly.

[dilanium]

I'm staying home from lectures today to call MAF (and to talk to someone, not a machine) and make sure we'll get the permit in time.

[dilanium]

Spoke to MAF and I should have the application by the end of the day tomorrow or at the latest Wed morning.

Yay!!!!

[JoJo76]

Great news.:nice1

[JandM]

Oh, that must be SUCH a relief!:nice1:)

[dilanium]

My cat is in LA and I have the permit to import! YAY!

[dusk]

whoop! :D

[JandM]

:clap:D:clap

[Hippywench]

:bluebanana For your kitty :bluebanana

[dilanium]

My cat's flight leaves the US today (well yesterday.. haha) and arrives tomorrow!!!

YAY!!!

[NZ Hopeful]

Fantastic! Enjoy your reunion! :nice1

[Gemini]

Really glad to hear that all is well. It's been a real rollercoaster, enjoy the reunion :)

[KerryS]

Hope your cat has a safe and stressfree flight and you all have a happy reunion very soon!