[britzy]

Hello all

Obviously emigrating isn't stress free,but I am feeling very anxious about the situation at the moment so much that I have come out with spots,possibly stress related my doctor says its acne,at my age !
It hasn,t been an easy ride and will get harder because of our daughters health but I feel totally out of sorts.Is it because I've booked my medicals ,just about to put the house on the market and everything else you have to do?
I am determined to see this through and I don't want to come across as a winger,people have far more to cope with then me I'm sure, but is this a common feeling?does it go away ,what can I do make these anxieties calm down a bit.
Help!!!!!!!

Helen

[dusk]

yep, the stress does kind of creep up on you.

I think it helps to do somehitng positive, writing lists and crossing things off it helps me (doesn't need to be anything major on your list - i bought suitcases recently for example)

alternatively find something to do that you enjoy and will take your mind off it - a new book, going to the cinema etc

[Rusty]

Certainly the stress feeling is common. For us it comes and goes depending on how much we can ignore the 'ever present' emigration thoughts. I don't think the process itself is stressful, but the waiting, wanting to plan your life and just get on with it seems to be forever in our minds. And for us, not being able to talk openly to that many people about it as talking things through would help I'm sure (if they understood and didn't keep asking questions about our questions ;) . Can't say about the spots, and I was already losing my hair :roll , but tiredness and not having usual clarity of thought (can't describe it any more) comes and goes.
We are looking for that 'weight lifted from our shoulders' feeling when it ends.

I'm sure you have many different questions about this and if you use the search function above and enter 'stress' you will see just how many threads (and how common) this can be.

Hope it all goes well.

[napiers]

It must be pretty common. If you're anything like me then the whole move is as Rusty said 'ever present'. It seems more so for me than my OH - I've just had a weekend where I've been really horrible to be around and I can only put it down to anxieties, too many thoughts about it all etc. It's not work as I'm in the middle of hols and it completely threw me! It certainly comes and goes, this weekend was exceptional but it's always on my mind and we've still got months to go. :uhoh

Helen, I'm sure that it'll come and go for you too. You'll get some boxes ticked and make progress/plans toward the move and I'm sure that'll help. Stick with it and try to find some time when you can forget about it all and relax. :)

[shakyle2906]

Helen

Dont worry, we have all been there!

All part of the process and i still wonder how we did it in six weeks!

Take care and try not to worry.

Sharon
x

[TrentBridge]

Yes, I'm feeling it too. Feels like waiting for an overdue baby :D. I'm supposed to be studying but all I can do is think about moving and I'm constantly surfing the web doing research. The whole NZ 'thing' seems to be taking over my life!!!!

I'm sure your symptoms will be as a result of stress, so how about going for a massage, or trying to concentrate on a hobby, anything to try and take your mind off it.

As others have said doing something constructive may help. I've started doing out cupboards and getting rid of old stuff. I guess even if we don't go to NZ at the end of the day, I've had a good clear out anyway :D

Best of luck Helen.

[StevieD]

Been there got the t shirt Helen!

It is difficult to give an answer because everyone is different. They say that the 2 most stressful things in life are divorce and moving house, but moving house and your entire life to another continent is way up there with the stars as you don't have the fall back factor to sort stuff out in a same country move, it is almost a complete cut off as you have to sort literally everything out.

But, you do get there, just take one little step at a time. take a breath now and again and look back at what you have achieved, it is easy to get bogged down in it all and think that you are making no progress.

And word of advice - plan. Get everything sorted in good time.

Good luck.

[lizzyplop]

Hi Helen
Where abouts in Leicestershire are you from?
We are from Barrow Upon Soar
Liz

[nippa&pippa]

Hi Helen
Where abouts in Leicestershire are you from?
We are from Barrow Upon Soar
Liz

And we was from Ashby ;)

It is normal and will be same once you arrived in NZ for first few months. Just think positive and have some aims/goals you really want to do to get there easier.

[peebles16]

Yep unfortunately perfectly normal but worth it in the end :D
I also developed a stress related (according to GP) rash type thing on palms of my hands and feet strangely before we came out and it's just clearing up now - does that mean I'm more relaxed??

Best of luck with it all :)
Karenx

[Steadybears]

Many have said before that this is like a roller coaster - and I hate them. The organising of all the paper work before getting our PR - saying goodbyes- the flight and then settling in all brings the worst out of me!!! My Oh is the most patient person! But we here now and loving it all but can assure you my stress level still sky high - sometimes even feel I might be having heart attack!!!! We waiting for our money to come over from SA so we can get out of this flat into our own home with our own belongings - its been 4 weeks and its draining - but we know it will eventually get better - will enjoy that day once it arrives. Could do some serious partying once thats all sorted.
So guess we all in the same boat!!

Good luck with it all
Jayne

[Joolzr]

Thank goodness it's not just me!

So reassured to hear that everyone is stressed. We're 5 weeks away from our move and still haven't been able to apply for our work permits. Moving out of our house in four weeks and unemplyed in three. Just hope these work visas come through.

Hang in there. I reckon anything that doesn't scare you ain't worth doing!

JoolzR

[britzy]

Thanks all, I knew alot of you would have your own stresses and would be feeling very similar I think I just needed to hear this as it can be quite lonely having no one to share your dreams and anxieties, what I mean sharing your feeling with people in the same situation.My family are on tender hooks and don't understand. All we have is each other and sometimes you need some outside reflection,as it can feel like you're in a gold fish bowl.
At least I can concentrate on something different for a while,getting my face sorted out for all those photos,only joking I suppose I should laugh.:laugh
Helen

[nickydwuk]

Stress shows itself in many ways. Luckily I don't get spots :p but my memory has gone :exit and if I get more than 4 hours uninterrupted sleep, then I consider myself lucky. I hope this doesn't last forever :wah

[Rusty]

Thanks all, I knew alot of you would have your own stresses and would be feeling very similar I think I just needed to hear this as it can be quite lonely having no one to share your dreams and anxieties, what I mean sharing your feeling with people in the same situation.My family are on tender hooks and don't understand. All we have is each other and sometimes you need some outside reflection,as it can feel like you're in a gold fish bowl.
At least I can concentrate on something different for a while,getting my face sorted out for all those photos,only joking I suppose I should laugh.:laugh
Helen

Totally agree on needing someone who can understand what is going on and also be excited, rather than unhappy that you are looking forward to leaving.
Looking forward to when I am not so short tempered with the kids and find time to let my mind relax.

Joolzr, looks like you are not far from me, I'm in Royston.

[thewoodies]

hi im there with you. Suffering with stress of handing in my notice. How it will affect my small children - dont even think about what my teenager is putting us through!!! Then there is the grandparents and the guilt trips!!! and now we have been granted our permanent residency the credit crunch has arrived making trying to sell the house extremley stressful and im wondering if it will sell at all with the media reminding everyone how bad it can get !!!!!we can rent it out but it means no capital to buy our dream piece of land. I have started taking st johns wort its a healthly altenative to prozac you can buy it in boots next to the multi vitamins i have stopped feeling tearful and slightly less stressed also calms pastils or drops are excellent if you feel uptight and panicky im not sure if its just emigrating or the fact ive 2 small children its probably a combination !!! I find reading the Austrailia and New Zealand magazine keeps me focused and keeps the excitment up. Hope this helps.


just think we could be ther this time next year and all the stress forgotten.:)

[Sunkissed]

I'm relieved I'm not the only one having a bit of a challenging time. But I think this is a process we have to go through for some reason. Just imagine how patient (& well-versed in NZ immigration) we'll all become after this is over & done with.

It's weird...I feel comfortable telling strangers about my preparation to move before telling those closer to me. Maybe I have to practice on them first before moving on to family & friends. This forum has also been extremely helpful for the past several months and I'm so thankful I found it.

What's preventing me from being completely stressed out is staying positive no matter what. The waiting game we're now playing with immigration, NZ employers, doctors, radiologists, shipping companies, the real estate market, etc. causes our minds to wander to the most interesting places. Even if the process is moving along smoothly (albeit slowly), we may think "maybe something's wrong" when really everything is absolutely fine and things are progressing in God's time, and not in the time frame our mind thinks is appropriate. Our best bet is to guard our thoughts. Keep the negative ones out.

We're skilled in this already (being imaginative). We thought it would be a good idea to prepare to move to NZ, and pictured ourselves enjoying life there. So, we must continue to do that especially during this waiting game. :yes

[jent]

HI Britzy
Thanks for your great PM. All these wonderful people who have offered you great advice and sympathy, have encountered stress, but you case is different and the stress of the not knowing, is enough to drive you crazy, isn't it?! This medical thing wiht our children is stressful in the extreme. Will NZIS accept them or not?! EVERYTHING hinges on this and the medical waiver. I have spent the equivalent of what seems like solid months of internet research trying to find answers and am no closer!
My neck aches constantly and the wondering is driving me insane.
When I get like that, it is time to get out and get some exersise. It really helps to have a change of scenery and some fresh air.
This all consuming question is even in the forefront of my mind while I read my little girl a story in bead this morning! " HOw can they NOT take this precious child?!!!" "Maybe they will look at the big picture." " They need teacher".(and nurses!) What do we do if we don't get in?

STRESSFUL!!! I guess I need to hit the road again. Just think how good I'm going to look if we do get in!! Helen, I think about you so much at the moment and pray that the CO has the wisdom to that families like ours are special and have much to contribute to NZ. Sending positive thoughts up for you.
:) :) :)

[jent]

Oh. By the way, a course of vitamin B complex jabs has helped the stress levels A LOT> I used to have them annually towards the end of the year when I taught full time, to help with exam stress. They REALLY help.

[Joolzr]

Hi Rusty

Nice to know someone from nearby is also on the forum! :cheers

When do you plan to go?

We had bead news today - our prospective tennants have gone silent since our agent told them he was doing rigorous reference checks :-(

still best to know now, rather than having no rent later.

JoolzR