[Tia Maria]

Having just read Singel's update, it got me wondering to how the rest of you were doing.

So assuming you still read the boards, how's it going? :D

Was everything as you expected?

Does it feel the way you thought it would?

What do you miss about NZ?

Would you do anything differently?

Any changes between first week, first 3 months, first 6 months back?

Have you stayed in the first place you moved to, or are you thinking of moving house, town, area, country?

Hope thats not too many questions! :laugh

Cheers

Tia

[kiwidollie]

Hi. We moved to New Zealand in Feb 06 as a family of 4 and and returned home to the UK in Sept 06 a family of 3. I can honestly say that I am so glad to be in the UK - I never appreciated how lucky I was until I had my stint in NZ.

I'm glad I got the chance to try living there, and I'll never have to wonder 'what if?', but there's no way I would swap the UK for anything.

Each to his own - I know that there are lots of people for whom the move is a big success but I just wasn't one of them.

Good luck to those who make the trip - I hope it works out well for you.

[colindp]

We moved to Dunedin in October 2005 and left in April 2007, for me life was good for my wife and son less so, I had work to keep me occupied and made friends easily however we were living out in the sticks and my wife and son grew very disillusioned not seeing much of anyone or anything...Under the terms of our visas (WTR) my son although 18 at the time was not allowed to seek work and with my wife also missing my Daughter (also 18..yes I have twins) who remained behind in the UK it all became too much, even after a move of home and my wife taking a part time job.
I then became very dissapointed in how my job was turning out, it was IMHO pooly paid and we struggled both financially and emotionally and so we decided to return to the UK. We have settled in Buckinghamshire I have a job that I enjoy and is I think for what I do very well paid...However and here goes we are seriously considering a move back to NZ I never thought I would say it but we are..if we do though it will have on a residency ticket so that will allow my son to seek work.
So why...well the less crowded roads, I worked in the centre of Dunedin and never ever in the two years I commuted got held up in traffic, I miss the beautiful beaches and the open peaceful countryside. What would I do differently get residency I wished I had done it when we were in Dunedin but we were not sure that it was for us at the time...DOH!!!!!!
So it remains to say watch this space, my daughter is herself now considering a move to OZ as she has an Australian fiancee if she does there would be nothing to stop us and we could easlily nip over to OZ to visit!!! :laugh

[leachio]

We made the big move in march 07 and came home again in oct 07. As most of the regulars are prob aware I suffered terribly with homesickness to the point of being on 4 diff meds a day and almost seeing a mental health team. We had 2 children under 4 and I had a teenager in the UK. We couldnt afford to buy our own home and our salaries were quite a bit less than in the UK, we personally didn't find the cost of living any cheaper. All that sounds as if we jumped in with our eyes closed, not strictly true, we did all the research we could and even tho we knew about the lower wages etc it was still hard actually adapting to it. Nothing much can prepare you for the emotional feelings u will experience even if you think you are prepared. We couldn't have afforded the luxury of a recce but in honesty I don't think it would have stopped us going. Anyway It all became too much and I :wah daily, stopped eating, stopped sleeping so my hubby decided we would return, so we did!

However for those about to embark on the journey, I did/do like NZ the weather, countryside, people. I made some lifelong friends and occassionally do miss them, recently pinkpiggy and beardy baldy bloke invited everyone to their housewarming and if we were there we would be attending. We saw pp & bbb every few days and I laugh reading his witty posts and thats exactley what he's like in real life :yes We used to see stevied and co often as well as kim39, their kids played with our kids and its those times I miss.

We have come back to York where we left, we now rent in a lovely little village and intend on stayin here. Jack starts school this yr and Ella playgroup, Dan is back being a bobby catching bad guys, Im back with my old nursing team healing the sick. The only major diff is we dont own our own home yet but once we are able to we will hopefully be in a good position, and hopefully the market will continue to drop!

Health wise I haven't taken a tablet since I boarded the plane home, Dan says he has his wife back and Jack doesn't ask why mummy is crying all the time. Im still a bit delicate over the whole experience and as yet I can still get upset thinking about it and how it affected me. One day I will look upon is as a good experience, even tho Im glad we did it instead of always wondering what if. Any regrets????? Prob not sticking around long enough to apply for IRRV but for those who knew me then it was clear I was never gonna make it for a yr and a half without going into the nut house!!!

Good luck to all on the great NZ adventure, and remember anyone who is struggling don't be afraid to ask for help and make sure u post ur feelings, I did and got a lot of cyber luv. It helps to share :)

[Georgebulldog]

It's great reading all your experiences & I'm glad you have all found what you wanted in the end. It opens up your eyes reading posts like this, I always think how can anyone go back but reading your posts I can quite understand, you have to do what is right for you in the end & live where you will be most happiest
Good luck to you all & thanks for the posts :cheers

[StevieD]

Glad to hear you better Amanda will pm :nice1

Steve, Jan, Kieran and Louisa

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

I did and got a lot of cyber luv. :)

I always think of you when I'm putting my chips in the oven (and no, that isn't meant to be a euphamism) ;)

Maybe we'll put a picture of the leachio's on the wall for the party. You can be there in spirit. We'll make sure you have a good time.
:cheers

Glad to hear things are working out and you can finally get the arms on your jacket shortened.

As for Dan, I'm gonne kick his butt in the virtual cup final. :p

Big love to both the big and small Leachio's.

[pinkpiggy]

Hi Amanda

I echo Sam's post and will defo have a drink to the Leach's (and Ella for her birthday) at the house warming. Hopefully this will be our last house move for a very long time. It still makes me smile when I think about the day your container arrive. :D

Joe and Dylan still talk fondly about Jack and Ella and the games they used to play. Despite the age difference they grew really close in a short space of time.

Glad to hear life in York is treating you well. Once we get settled in our new house I'll catch up with. Until then, love to all from the Edwards Clan. :cheers

[Sam B]

Lovely to hear from you Amanda, I often wonder how you are getting on.

Sam

[Tia Maria]

Thanks for the updates everyone! Is it just those that have returned to the UK?

Kiwidollie wrote:

I'm glad I got the chance to try living there, and I'll never have to wonder 'what if?', but there's no way I would swap the UK for anything.

I'm the same, I think its much better to try something, not have it work out and move on, than never try at all. Besides even if NZ doesn't work the majority of people gain something from the experience, even if its just rediscovering that where you live is actually OK!

Colindp wrote:

We have settled in Buckinghamshire I have a job that I enjoy and is I think for what I do very well paid...However and here goes we are seriously considering a move back to NZ I never thought I would say it but we are..if we do though it will have on a residency ticket so that will allow my son to seek work.
So why...well the less crowded roads, I worked in the centre of Dunedin and never ever in the two years I commuted got held up in traffic, I miss the beautiful beaches and the open peaceful countryside. What would I do differently get residency I wished I had done it when we were in Dunedin but we were not sure that it was for us at the time...DOH!!!!!!
So it remains to say watch this space, my daughter is herself now considering a move to OZ as she has an Australian fiancee if she does there would be nothing to stop us and we could easlily nip over to OZ to visit!!!

At least if you do decide to come back, you'll have already laid the groundwork and done a lot of the hard work already. It must seem a lot less daunting than the first time around!

Leachio wrote:

Health wise I haven't taken a tablet since I boarded the plane home, Dan says he has his wife back and Jack doesn't ask why mummy is crying all the time.

Its so good to hear you've got things back on track. Its always going to take a while to get over any period of emotional stress and it sounds like being back in the UK is just what you needed!

Really appreciate the update everyone, I think I'm just plain nosy! :p

Cheers

Tia

[spudulike]

Hi All,

We moved to NZ from York in Feb 2006 with an 18 month old and an 8 week old baby. We had been to NZ before and loved it there, and done loads of research on cost of living etc before applying for residency however when we got there it just didn't go according to plan. We had some money from our house sale in the UK and hubby had a good job but we found living in NZ with a young family was financially crippling. We couldn't afford to buy a house, we didn't have enough money to go places and the real low point for me came when I had to 'budget' to buy a potty and underwear so I could toilet train my 2 year old. The quality of life we had moved to gain just didn't exist and we were eating into our savings every month.

It was with a heavy heart and an enormous sense of failure we decided to come back home, although I have to say I never hated the UK when we left so returning here wasn't the worst move in the world - just not what we had planned. We came back in May 2007 (almost a year ago!!).

So, in answer to Tia's questions;

I would say things have worked out way better than we had hoped. We chose to live somewhere different and moved to Devon and have to say we all love it here. We had never been here before but feel so completely at home. The first few weeks were difficult whilst we looked for a home, waited for our stuff to arrive etc (same as when we moved to NZ) but as soon as that hurdle was out of the way we settled instantly.

I enrolled at Exeter Uni to do my post graduate teacher training and can't believe I am now almost finished (12 weeks left). The children are happy at nursery and my eldest starts school in January (a good school nearby). My husband is working and building up a good patient list and financially life is great. We spend more time together as a family as hubby's hours aren't so long and when we are together we can afford to go out if we choose to - although we live fairly close to the beach so often choose to go there anyway!

I feel we are all healthier as I can now afford to buy a good range of fruit and veg - in NZ I made sure the children had the best of everything and me and hubby would do without. We are also much happier and relaxed as we don't constantly worry about money.

Like Amanda we are renting and were going to buy a house this year, however, with house prices falling we'll sit tight and hopefully get more for our money - in the meantime our deposit is growing :nice1 I realise money isn't everything but when you are really struggling it affects every part of your health and well-being.

There are aspects of NZ I miss. I miss my friends and I miss the views in Wellington (I still think it is one of the most beautiful cities in the world). I miss the fish!! and the ability to get good coffee anywhere. It has taken me almost a year to find somewhere that does a decent flat white! But I now have history and architecture around me again so it balances out. Like Colin I've noticed how crowded it is here but saying that we stayed in Brecon in Wales over bank holiday and had no traffic problems.

I think if I wanted to opt for a more rural lifestyle now I would move to Scotland so we would have the best of both worlds! I really don't see us ever considering a move back to NZ.

So all in all I have no regrets as we tried NZ but it didn't work out. I would have had regrets if we had never tried.


L :)

[leachio]

Im really glad u started this thread Tia it gives me a comfy warm feeling to know that Im not alone so to speak! Im sure it helps others understand a bit more about our returns too.

PP & BBB we would luv to attend ur party, albeit on the wall :laugh Sam, Dan says the better team won??????? SamB I really did enjoy your home made bread, yummmmmmmmmmmm, it was my pleasure to be educated by your 2 clever girls on our nature walk.

[Tia Maria]

Spudulike wrote:

It was with a heavy heart and an enormous sense of failure we decided to come back home, although I have to say I never hated the UK when we left so returning here wasn't the worst move in the world - just not what we had planned. We came back in May 2007 (almost a year ago!!).

Thanks for the update Spudulike!

As things are now going so well in the UK, do you still feel like you failed? I would have said that for most people moving to NZ is very much about a desire to 'improve your lifestyle', by finding happiness in the UK you have achieved just that. :)

Cheers

Tia

[Shazanick]

Hi

UK- Auckland October 2006
Auckland - England August 2007

Regrets - plenty!:

Can't give advice to anyone else - our experiences and mistakes are ours - here they are.........

1) Really think about making the move as an 'extended family' package - small divisions seem to get bigger when you are so far away from 'home'.
2) Clarify that any job you are offered is actually going to be the one you got at interview- being unhappy at work can have a massive impact on ones life.
3) Get the best rental you can afford - being happy in your surroundings can make a bit of a bad day seem so much better (can't deal with the real killer days, but does lessen the pain)
4) Get out there and 'do stuff' instead of letting ones unhappiness consume you.
5) Its ok to miss things from 'home' but try to limit how much time you do this for. Trying not to think about it isn't denying its existance or being disloyal or unpatriotic, it can just be a method of survival in the early days.
6)However - if you are upset by those people who like to take pleasure in 'downing' their place of birth just for kicks, or to make them feel better about what it is they have done -remove them from your address book. That may be their way of dealing with things, but it may not help anyone who is feeling 'wobbly' about what they have done- it can actually make you fiercly defend your 'home' and miss it all the more. This doesn't mean you don't like the place you have chosen to move to it just means you need to be allowed to like the place you have left behind too.
7) If you find yourself in a position of feeling you have no choice but to leave - use what ever money you can muster to travel around first - there are such fantastic sights to see in NZ - you just can't leave without seeing as many as you can fit in/afford. You may be leaving the country behind, but you will always take those pictures and memories with you.
8)Seriously consider returning to the place you left in the UK - you may find it is full of 'Christmas Past' and simply slows the recovery process enormously. (It may of course be the perfect solution for many - but not for me/us)
9) If you disliked you childs school before you left the UK - don't send them back there because you think it will be the best for them - the small grumbles you had about it will have multiplied 10 fold whilst you were away! (unless your NZ experience of school was bad in which case you may be relieved - we weren't - our son's NZ school was fantastic and like a school should be- (Losing this is a HUGE regret)
10) Once you have 'recovered' from the experience of returing - sit back and think about the undoubtedly great things that both sides of the world have to offer - choosing to 'live' in one or the other can be a problem, but 'settling' is an entirely different problem.
11) Haven't figured out how to overcome the phenomena of being in 'no mans land' yet - still a work in progress. I think its about realising that there are many great things, places and sights on both sides of the world, and problems difficulties and challenges of differeing degrees too - its ok to think this - but to settle one has to decide which offers the best for the long term, which will make you feel safe and secure within yourself becuase if you lose yourself on the journey you are truely lost forever.
Ironically - we are still debating which side of the world to try to 'settle' in. Can't quite believe it really - but life is full of the unexpected - ours is anyway. Not quite sure how we stand on the Returning Residency Visa situation though? Not sure if deadline is 2 years from when we first arrived? Not sure what would happen if we couldn't make it for then?
Maybe the fact I have logged on after such a very long time is a sign I am now able to talk about this objectively -progress finally!!

[Tia Maria]

Wow - amazing post!

All the best in finding your way out of 'no mans land', as someone who lives much of her life in a restless state I know how that can feel!

Cheers

Tia

[marshanite]

Thanks everyone for posting. I have found this thread very useful.

Returning to the UK from Auckland in june :raebanana :clap

Fi.

[kiwidollie]

Good luck Fi. Hope everything works out for you.

I've been a much, much, much happier person since coming home from NZ. I learned an awful lot about myself by emigrating and returning. Life is so much better now. Had to deal with lots of unhappiness but it was so worth it.

Alison

[leachio]

I completley agree with u Alison, Im way more content now we r home. Funny how u go thru such heartache, expense and airmiles to realise u luv what uve got anyway :laugh

[craig1234564]

Hi. We moved to New Zealand in Feb 06 as a family of 4 and and returned home to the UK in Sept 06 a family of 3.

Hi sorry it didnt work out for you, what happened while you were there, only 3 of you returned?
its ok if you dont want to say

[simpsons]

Does anyone know what percentage of those who go to NZ actually return to the UK?
This thread has given me food for thought! Although i know everyone is different!
The Simpsons

[IanW99]

Does anyone know what percentage of those who go to NZ actually return to the UK?
This thread has given me food for thought! Although i know everyone is different!
The Simpsons

Apparently it's around 9%

See Leaving New Zealand (http://www.emigratenz.org/leaving-New-Zealand.html) for more details.

Ian

[simpsons]

Ta

[mclarity]

We returned to Europe in September 2006 after eight months in New Zealand. Before leaving NZ I wrote of our reasons for leaving in an entry to be found further back in this forum thread.
The nutshell version of why we left is that we found NZ far too far from our family and friends and due to the salary/living cost ratio felt very isolated and financially quite fragile (and I was earning a good salary by NZ standards).

For me personally the last 18 months have been very difficult to adjust again to a country (the Netherlands) that still remains foreign to me in many ways (we are originally from South Africa). But we vowed to tackle the problems differently and focus on the positive things upon our return. This we have largely done. But I still miss aspects of NZ. Especially the idea of it if that makes any sense.

I do not see the round trip as a failure. It was a great experience. We made some great friends and have many good memories. But there are days (especially in the dark of winter, waiting in a traffic jam) that I wish we were in NZ again. The mind can play tricks that way.

I do appreciate a lot of what a very 1st world country like the Netherlands has to offer such as financial well being and its centrality with access to everywhere in the world (with the sense that one can afford to get on a plane at short notice to visit family or friends).

If we had been in NZ under different circumstances in terms of not feeling quite so isolated from the rest of the world and our family, not actually having the option to return to Europe and if we had brought over a pot of money, from a house sale or savings, to live relatively mortgage free then we would still be in New Zealand. No doubt about that.

Regards.

[peebles16]

Mclarity, what an insightful post and thanks for sharing you views both on reasons why you left and also how you are finding life after to NZ so to speak :)

Best of luck in whatever you do or wherever you choose to be :D

Karenx