[marshanite]

I just felt I should explain why we are going back to the UK after only 3 months.

I wanted to post on Leslie's 6 month post, but she received so many touchingly supportive & non judgemental posts & I was still amidst mental/emotional torment of what best to do. I find it hard to condense my thoughts at times like those.

We still have a business in the UK which happened to throw up a few problems hard to deal with from the other side of the world, as soon as we stepped foot off British soil!

Hubby also went back to teaching in order for us to come to NZ. He has been a trooper, but the salary that he was advised he would get, never materialised (infact they started him on $27000, a teachers assistant salary, despite already having all the accredited information about his bachelors and masters degrees) He is now on a newly qualified teachers pay despite all his relevant industry experience which it looks like they will take many months evaluting (a new round of letters have been requsted from previous jobs!)

We made the mistake of economising on a rental (renting is sooo expensive in Auckland) as I am not working yet. I hate the house which is cold and damp and looks like something I would have shared with other student friends 20 years ago! We also don't like our life here enough to ship all our stuff out now that the sale of our house is going through.

We have to go back to the UK in November for my brothers wedding (our 4 yr old twins are bridesmaids). We were also planning on staying December aswell to supervise our shop's busiest time and spend Christmas with family.

The idea of waiting 6 months in a cold damp yukky rental with no drier, dishwasher and all our posessions; counting pennies and waiting for the girls to get a place in Kindi. Waiting to be able to afford a second car to start ballet, gymnastics & all the fun stuff we did in the UK. Waiting for our quality of life to imrove sufficiently to reach the standard we left in the UK. And yes I miss friends family & the familiarity of the UK.

We have decided to go back to the UK and rent in Poole in Dorset for the Summer in order to compare & contrast. We are not ruling out Christchurch in the future, but for now the idea of 3 back to back winters is too depressing to contemplate.

Bad panning - yes. Rushed into coming out to NZ - yes. But I really don't think there is any way of evaluating a new life in NZ without trying it out.

Do I regret rushing out here to try it out - absolutely not. Would I be unhappy staying at the moment - yes.

Finally I love NZ it's a beautiful country with lovely (if at times somewhat reserved) people and I have really enjoyed alot of our experience here, especially our couple of weeks exploring both islands.

I'm starting to ramble, so I will sign off now!

Best Wishes, Fi.

[zardell]

Wishing you happiness and contentment back in the UK.

Everyone deserves happiness - wherever in the world they may be.

Good luck to you.

Julie

xx

[slider]

Hope it all works out for you. :)
At the very least you gave it a go - sounds like circumstances just contrived to work against you.

[Carol]

You are doing the right thing for all the right reasons.
Maybe another time....maybe not.

Good luck whatever you do.
:yes

[dharder]

You know what I think :) All the very best to you for the trip back to the UK.

Our girls will miss your girls, though :(

Daniela

[lockstock]

Oh Fi, I really feel for you now we're four months in. I had similar problems with my salary but they sorted it out in days with the help of the school bursar. We had a rental which was awful so we bought very quickly. With hindsight perhaps a bit too quickly but we're committed now (or need to be!)

I understand about the stuff going on back in the UK too having left a rental house in the hands of an agent. You can never quite relax.

You're very brave to go back but you've given it your best shot and that means everything. And who knows - it may all sort itself out in the future and you can have another go.

Good luck with everything and look forwards not backwards. And I hope the wedding goes well! Keep in touch on the forum - there may well be others who need your advice on what to do in similar situations. All the best.

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

I really don't think there is any way of evaluating a new life in NZ without trying it out.

Do I regret rushing out here to try it out - absolutely not.

This is the key to it all.

You can never now live in regret that you didn't at least give it a go. Also, if you do decide to come back you will be so much more informed and know exactly what you want and don't want out of a life here.

Best Wishes.

[marshanite]

One thing that I can say wholeheartedly, is that the people who are attracted to living in NZ (or certainly the ones on this site) are some of the best that I've ever come across!

Your support means so much to me. It would be easy to feel that we have 'failed' but we are trying to look at it as a positive learning experience and your remarks have made that easier.

Daniela - we will miss you. Florence & Isabella will miss your girls massively.

Lockstock - I certainlywill keep in touch with this forum.

I also wanted to add that as an Asthmatic cold & damp can be dangerous (my asthma has only got out of control once & it was scary). I don't want to be negative, but my allergies have never been as bad as they have been here in NZ and as we head into Winter my asthma has started to become more off a problem (though I know that stress is a contributing factor). I am also a little fearful of triggers to childhood asthma (which my brother suffered badly, but our girls have shown no sign of). Just thought it was worth making that point as it can be a serious issue.

Again - you're all gorgeous :clap

Fi.

[zardell]

It would be easy to feel that we have 'failed'


Failed??

Rubbish!!

If you mean that you have had enough of feeling like you're banging your head against a brick wall and all you want is to feel happy and in control again, then go for it I say.

Julie

xx

[marshanite]

Thanks Julie,

Yes, that's exactly how it feels!

Fi.

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

you're all gorgeous :clap


Clearly you haven't met enough of us face to face :)

I echo Julie's comments. Not a failure at all, quite the opposite, unless you let it be.

How can experiencing life in a different country and culture, even for a sort while, be a failure? How many of your friends back in UK have had the balls to try it?

Exactly.

You may be poorer financially, but you will be far richer spiritually and emotionally.

Enjoy.

[Gemini]

The very best of luck to you, knowing what is right for you and what is wrong for you can never be a bad thing. I'm glad you can do something about it and I hope it all works out in the best possible way.

[LesleyS]

Fi

It's a difficult thing isn't it coming to terms with the whole package, and how we feel. We almost don't want to admit to others that this is truly not where we want to be right now.
No shame in that....you have given it a shot, and that's the bravest thing anyone can do. If if you don't return to New Zealand in the future, you will still have some truly positive memories of your time here, as well as the all too obvious negative ones.

Don't be a stranger, let us know how you go on. We will miss your posts when you return!

[zardell]

Hubby also went back to teaching in order for us to come to NZ. He has been a trooper, but the salary that he was advised he would get, never materialised (infact they started him on $27000, a teachers assistant salary, despite already having all the accredited information about his bachelors and masters degrees) He is now on a newly qualified teachers pay despite all his relevant industry experience which it looks like they will take many months evaluting (a new round of letters have been requsted from previous jobs!)


Your OH isn't the first person I have heard of who has had to fight for his pay cheque.

Always amazes me why, if a persons qualifications are good enough for NZIS to grant PR, they are not good enough for a prospective employer...

In my book, it's all about being made to feel worthy.

Julie

xx

[pinkpiggy]

In my book, it's all about being made to feel worthy.

Absolutely. It doesn't matter whereabouts in the world you are being paid what you are worth counts for a lot.

Fi, I hope you and your family will be very happy back in the UK and richer for having experienced life on the other side of the world.

[willsken]

At least there will be no what ifs. The best of luck back in the UK, I hope you find happiness. :)

[Moorf]

New Zealand will be here for a while yet ;) so if you do want to return....

Hope your move back goes smoothly - keep us posted :nice1

[mgbridges]

Failed??

Rubbish!!

If you mean that you have had enough of feeling like you're banging your head against a brick wall and all you want is to feel happy and in control again, then go for it I say.


Ditto! Good luck sorting out the practicalities and I wish you all the very best for the future.

Anneliese

[Sam B]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful and honest post. I hope it all works out for you, whatever happens. I will be really interested to read about how you get on, and I'm sure everyone else will too.

Good luck

Sam

[marcia]

Hard decisons to make, coming in the first place, and then leaving again.

Life is too short to be unhappy, and if you can do something positive to change your situation to bring back your happiness then go for it!

Good luck!

[Jo Jo]

Good luck with your return to the UK, and all the best for the future.

[nippa&pippa]

Good luck on return back to UK and hope you may come back again if you want to....

[dusk]

Best of luck with wherever you all end up, fingers crossed you find somewhere you can feel settled and content :)

[Tia Maria]

It sounds like a good choice to me and I wish you all the best.

Have you considered a quick trip to Christchurch before you go?

I know traveling with 4 year olds isn't the most fun experience but its a very short flight and you can get some good flight prices at this time of year.

You could half treat it as a weekend away ,(book into somewhere with heating, pool and spa!), but also as a reccie to possible areas you have in mind. It will really help you to decide whether to come back, if you have seen exactly what the area you are interested in looks like.

You can take lots of photos, check house prices, even look at possible Kindys/schools. Having already done your time in Auckland you will be much quicker at spotting what will, and what won't, work for you.

And there is always that instant like/dislike feeling that you can only get by seeing a place.

Once you return to the UK, you will be able to relax, be warm and be with friends, then look at the photos, (make sure you've got lots of Auckland also) and think either, 'yes I want to work out a way to return', or 'no, it just doesn't appeal to me anymore.'.

In general though, life is a lot easier once the kids are in school, wherever you are! :)

Cheers

Tia

[nippa&pippa]

It sounds like a good choice to me and I wish you all the best.

Have you considered a quick trip to Christchurch before you go?

I know traveling with 4 year olds isn't the most fun experience but its a very short flight and you can get some good flight prices at this time of year.

You could half treat it as a weekend away ,(book into somewhere with heating, pool and spa!), but also as a reccie to possible areas you have in mind. It will really help you to decide whether to come back, if you have seen exactly what the area you are interested in looks like.

You can take lots of photos, check house prices, even look at possible Kindys/schools. Having already done your time in Auckland you will be much quicker at spotting what will, and what won't, work for you.

And there is always that instant like/dislike feeling that you can only get by seeing a place.

Once you return to the UK, you will be able to relax, be warm and be with friends, then look at the photos, (make sure you've got lots of Auckland also) and think either, 'yes I want to work out a way to return', or 'no, it just doesn't appeal to me anymore.'.

In general though, life is a lot easier once the kids are in school, wherever you are! :)

Cheers

Tia

I agree with Tia on this as Auckland and Christchurch is very different lifestyles and different surroundings. I have been stayed in Auckland for a week twice and I did enjoyed stay in Auckland but I always looking forward coming home to Christchurch because that is place I love and suit me. Flights is just $79 one way for adult and $59 for child one-way IF you book your flight early in the morning of booking the flights a few week in advance (not the flights' times :yes ) rather after lunchtime when price goes up!!

[marshanite]

Thanks Sophia & Tia, very good advice. We did just that during the recent school holidays (drove down). We are still very taken with the idea of beach & mountains in such close proximity and loved Christchurch, so who knows we may be back!

I'll let you know if we settle back into the UK (by the beach!) or not.

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts.

Fi.

[JandM]

Wishing you all the best back in the UK.

Just a thought - do you know Poole? I do, from having worked there for years, and my mother lives there now. It's a place of big contrasts, and you might need to be careful in picking your area. Also, Poole in the summer season, full of holidaymakers, is very different from Poole in winter, so that's something to bear in mind.

[Genie]

What a tough decision for you to have to make. Sounds like you are open to what ever is right for you in the future. Good luck to you where ever you find your home is.

[Pebbles]

What a difficult decision you have had to make, Fi. And thanks for sharing it with us. This has definitely been a life changing experience for you and your family and those close to you. It really brings home what is important to all of you and what it is that makes you happy. I hope the future brings you everything you hope for (and more) where ever your travels may take you. Good luck!

Oh, and compliments to all you forumites writing these positive and supportive reactions. It is what makes this forum stand apart.

[NZ Hopeful]

Have a safe journey back tomorrow (or is that today where you are!?)

Wishing you all the happiness in the world! :)

[Andy-Dee]

Have a safe journey back tomorrow (or is that today where you are!?)

Wishing you all the happiness in the world! :)

Likewise - good luck