[holland]

to me being optimistic...

I am sad, low, tired, fed up,hacked off, missing home and just feel awful...I have no enthusiasm for anything and feel absolute poop.

Off to sulk ..

J x

[Scotty69]

Oh come on Holland you got nearly the whole forum to support Belmont babes and family and now your feeling down.
Im sending you a big squeezey hug (as my son calls them) and keep your chin up, take care.

Natasha;)

[cappuccino]

Sorry to hear that you are feeling low. I can empathise and its not just me, many of my new expat friends are going through it right now. On trying to analyse why, I think that the cold weather has a lot to do with how a person feels. Then if their house is cold, it makes being at home quite a miserable experience. If you couple that with a job you are not happy in and/or poor salary, it all starts going to pot and brings out all the other issues of missing family and friends back in the UK (or wherever you came from).

I don't know what the answer is but if somebody does, then please let me and my friends know so we can all start feeling better soon.

[holland]

I just don't have a smile in me at the minute....this has been coming on over the last...id say 10 days...just feel awful.

We have been trawling around houses for weeks and weeks and seen nothing that we would want to buy which doesn't help. Anything we could live in, we can't afford due to crazy interest rate.

I look forward to the weekends and then when they get here just feel awful...hubby gone out fishing...as although he isnt as bad he is feeling similar.

Our friends have just bought a house out here...part of me wants to as I just want to feel settled and the other part of me doesn't want to commit.

I miss my old house, I miss the warmth so much.

Coming home to a rented cold house is not good.

Dont know what the answer is....I suppose just to get on with it!

We were supposed to be going away for 3 days this weekend....were just going to get in the car and drive...and we couldnt even be bothered doing that...

We are staying at home and moping!

I could do with going to the beach and having a good scream!

[swissmissdesigner]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT3825e0i2Y

[swissmissdesigner]

something must be in the air.. I feel very low and I miss NZ so much at the moment that I cry..
I just send you a big hug and I hope you feel better very soon..

[holland]

Thanks...I know I am lucky to be in this position....but can't shake the miserable feeling....I honestly am sat here just frowning...wondering when I will smile again.

[willsken]

I think it's the cold weather playing a part. I get really moody this time of year (winter) where ever I am. I hate the cold, it makes be lazy and not bothered to do anything. :no

[holland]

yeah...you may be right...it never used to bother me at home...but maybe it is here!

[StevieD]

c'mon, you could be just getting the ol' winter blues! Jan is the same at the moment, lethargic, a bit listless, not feeling very good at all.

Stick with it, things will turn out right.

Steve

[lockstock]

to me being optimistic...

I am sad, low, tired, fed up,hacked off, missing home and just feel awful...I have no enthusiasm for anything and feel absolute poop.

Off to sulk ..

J x


Me too. except the missing home bit. Hormones? Weather? Upside downness?

I bet I can sulk better than you:p

[zardell]

to me being optimistic...

I am sad, low, tired, fed up,hacked off, missing home and just feel awful...I have no enthusiasm for anything and feel absolute poop.

Off to sulk ..

J x




(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Julie

xx

[Leccy-Lee]

Jade :(
If my car wasn't off the road i swear i'd be up to cheer you up.. :-/
Its cold, its dark its really that time of year, last couple weekends i keep thinking i am going to do something, but get up feel cold and never actually do go out, so its not just you mate.

Thinking of you guys ..

[holland]

Thanks Lee...your sweet!

[jackie m]

Awwwwe Jade it will get better, like everyone says the weather doesn't help. So sending you big hugs.

Jackie x

[NZ Hopeful]

Aww Jade, I hope you are feeling brighter soon, I can't imagine how difficult it is adjusting to a new life.

Sending posivibes to you and G.

x

[Mels]

Sending big sqeezy hugs too (must be from same stock Natasha :)).

You have been so positive for others, now all your 'formates' can give some back.

Hope you feel better soon.

Mels

[TrentBridge]

So sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment. I'm sure the cold weather doesn't help.

Why don't you go out for the day, even if you don't feel like it. I'll bet you feel a bit better if you do.

Hope you're feeling better soon :)

[Kerry and David]

Sorry to hear your fed up at the moment - have some more hugs ((()))) If you want to add me on to Facebook we could have a food fight or something that may make you smile:)

K x

[Carey]

Ditto all the above from us. And, it's ok to have a down day, you are human. Allow your feelings to be just that, feelings and your natural positive drive will return but try to just let it happen......easy to say I know but......

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

Who was it who said "life is a roller coaster, just gotta ride it" ?

......Ah it was Ronan Bleedin' Keating.

Sorry, that probably doesn't help.

[dusk]

aww poor Jade *hugs*
hope the low mood passes soon!

[Andy-Dee]

Massive hugs Jade, with anything new you just have to become familiar with it all. I've said this a lot to different people, but see it as a 1, 2 or 3 year adventure. If you start thinking forever it can be daunting. Get a leccie blanket - not the Lee kind :no and enjoy a large glass of NZ wine.

Remember you have lots of pals on here rooting for you.

[JayBee]

Take Care...things can catch up with you after all the initial settling in, exploring and excitement...hopefully you'll see those blue skies again soon and feel much brighter:yes

[holland]

ok...I have started drinking! and I haven't drank alcohol for 9 years !! lol Went out last night, bought alcohol and chocolate....it helped a little!

Its now a new day and I am trying to think positive! Thanks everyone....your stars!

[marcia]

Jade you more than entitled to feel rotten after all the cr@p you have been through so far.

I have to agree that winter gets me down, did in the Uk too - a mild case od SAD, Also house hunting get s so depressing - I thought we would never find something that we both liked enough to buy - Kev is so picky - at one point I just told him to go on his own and come back when he'd found something he would live in!

I never used to bake much in the Uk - but now especially in the Winter, I quite enjoy getting in the kitchen, getting the oven on (which helps keep you warm too!!!) and smelling the lovely baking smells.

Hope you are felling better soon - don't try to force yourself into a happy mood - just indulge yourself, be a bit selfish (something we women rarely are!!! I'm the bottom of the list in our house - 5th in line for me time!!) snuggle up with a good book or a jigsaw or whatever mind numbing thing takes your fancy, and you can always pop down to Palmy for the weekend - we have spare beds!!! :D

[peebles16]

Who was it who said "life is a roller coaster, just gotta ride it" ?

......Ah it was Ronan Bleedin' Keating.

Sorry, that probably doesn't help.


Okay Jade that must of cheered you up forcing BBB to quote a former member of Boyzone - think of his pain :laugh

Thinking of you
Karenx

[holland]

Actually...some years ago I was a huge ronan fan! lol...did I just say that outloud?

Thanks for advice Marcia...we went out yesterday to a windery and had some us time which was nice...we have given up on houses...it just depresses us!

J x

[mgbridges]

Hugs for you Jade! I can really sympathise, ever since arriving (9mths ago) I've had real highs and real lows. Not long ago I went through a phase of feeling really positive about everything and was very pro-active - even did some gardening. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere I just felt down and 'empty' and didn't have the energy to do anything.

In terms of house hunting do give it a break from time to time. I really wasn't happy in our rental and got really focussed on finding something but it does drag you down after a while. I think I saw the inside of over 30 houses in the space of about 3wks! Eventually, we made a point of every weekend doing one day of Open Homing and then one day doing something else - beach, walk, museum, pub meal etc.

It might also be an idea to think about moving into another rental, I wish I'd been more open to that idea as in hindsight I think we rather 'bought in haste'. I do like our home and think we got a good deal but given the way the market has gone I think we could have done better. Then again if we'd waited until now to bring our money over from the UK we wouldn't have done as well on that side of things. Swings and roundabouts!

Now I'm rambling so I'm going to go but I'm thinking of you and sending cyber hugs your way.

Anneliese

[holland]

Thanks Anneliese, You are so right about the house hunting thing, we think we have seen about 55 houses so far!...and it just isn't worth the low I go through afterwards!

We have been looking at the idea of maybe another renter...I NEED a wood burner....I am cross everytime I come back to this house and it is cold...the main living area is not so bad...but the hallway/bedrooms and bathrooms are ridiculous! I am just cold all the time, which can't be helping.

I am just in the process of getting a picnic together and now G has discovered England are playing on the tv!! ooks like we'll be going in a couple of hours then!!!!!

J x

[holland]

ok...my 'windery' slip up has just made me smile!!!:yes

*winery*

[willsken]

If you are cold all the time I expect that is a huge reason you feel like this. I had to wait a few weeks to get my wood burner last winter and I swear I was off back to the UK on numerous occasions! I was miserable and made everyone else in the family miserable with me! Once we installed a huge wood burner and the house was toasty warm I went back to feeling my happy self. :yes

[holland]

I think maybe we need to move rentals and get a wood burner!

[Belmont Babes]

Ahhh Jade, after I have typed this I am going to get straight on the blower and discuss your day at the "windery" :laugh
Love Nat X

[thezorbster]

Remember you have lots of pals on here rooting for you.

Hey Dee - are you aware of the NZ meaning of rooting? :D

Jade, I hope your down period doesn't last too long for you.
Take care
S

[Moorf]

Hey Dee - are you aware of the NZ meaning of rooting? :D

LOL I think not... or maybe they are REALLY close friends... :D

[Joolzr]

Hi Jade

Hope your feeling better- I'm exactly the same in the cold- really unhappy. Last year I started a job where the building was freezing. I would wear thermals to work and would get so cold I couldn't hold a pen. I was so unhappy I nearly quit. Which would have been terrible as it turned out to be my dream job...

This year I got a microwave hotwater bottle and took it to the office. And survived the winter much more cheerfully! My collegues probably thought I was a bit odd but by that point I knew they were an 'eclectic' bunch :laugh. Although I do miss them.

We land in about three weeks- anyone any advice on how to avoid a cold rental? I won't last if I'm cold all the time... Are the wooden houses all drafty?


JoolzR

[JandM]

So sorry to hear about the bad feelings. Re: being warm, even before you get a wood-burner, have you tried one of the free-standing gas fires that has the gas bottle inside? Last year in our rented-for-the-holiday place, often we didn't have time to keep the wood-burner in, and took to using the gas fire A LOT. We would roll it around to wherever in the living area we wanted to be - in the kitchen, by the table, in the lounge area.

[marcia]

Jade - we have a couple of those convector electric heaters with timers on - (our bedroom was always freezing!) We have it programmed to come on just before we get up and just before we go to bed.

They are not too expensive at places like the warehouse or Bunnings and you can take them with you when you leve to use in your new house! :nice1

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

In terms of house hunting do give it a break from time to time. I

Actually, that's a really good point.

Apart from fooling ourselves for a while that building a new house was for us it wasn't until we decided to stop looking that we found somewhere.

Weird how that happens sometimes. Like losing your pen at your desk - convinced you put it down 'right freakin' THERE!' but no matter how many times you look it's gone. So, you go to the stationery cupboard, come back and there it is, right where you should have been looking, but didn't.

:confused:

Makes sense to me.

[Tia Maria]

Weird how that happens sometimes. Like losing your pen at your desk - convinced you put it down 'right freakin' THERE!' but no matter how many times you look it's gone. So, you go to the stationery cupboard, come back and there it is, right where you should have been looking, but didn't.

:confused:

Makes sense to me.

That'll be the pen fairies.... native to New Zealand. :p

In our house we have the glasses fairies, but I'm pretty sure we bought them in our container, now where did I put my sunglasses......?.....

Cheers

Tia

[Jo Jo]

On the subject of heaters, I've heard that those gas heaters produce moisture, so aren't that good if your house has a tendency to damp. (I think I saw that on HouseSick.) I've got an oil heater on wheels which has a timer on it - it's great.

[holland]

Still :(

Hope it passes soon....

[Tia Maria]

Still :(

Hope it passes soon....

Is there anything you can change in your life at the moment?

Cheers

Tia

[peebles16]

Maybe you should look for another rental Jade? Nothing worse than coming back to a house that makes you unhappy - switch to rental hunting maybe :) I know folks want to get settled soon in their 'own' house but NZ market isn't great at the minute so maybe a nice, warm rental could be a good interim position?

I do hope you feel better soon Jade and sending big HUGS your way.

Karenx

[Den]

I agree with getting those electric oil filled heaters on wheels they are just great, had a lecky bill and not too costly to run either and as others have said you can take with you when you move - even if its to another rental.
Chin up J :)
I have followed your journey along side our own and I know exactly how you feel - only too well. Please don't give up yet! Wait till spring/summer to see if things improve, nothing to loose eh!

[LesleyS]

Jade....you know I too have had my ups and owns here....getting quite used to the hurdles now, but it doesn't get any easier does it?
S.A.D is actually quite common, and I often have to pick myself up mentally and physically in the Winter months. Glad to see that you are making the most of your weekends though. Maybe concentrate less on buying somewhere permanent, you never know that perfect property may turn up unexpectedly on one of your 'days out'? xx

Always here for a chat.....

[rebekkahpayne]

Hi Holland

Was sorry to read that you were so down... how did the chocolate and alcohol do?? I find for me what works to make me feel better is dying my hair, putting on a face mask, lying in a very hot bath with a nice glass of wine and candles lit makes me feel like a star [not that I've done that in a while mind you], with my children I hardly have any nice smellies left as no matter where I put them the kids will find them and pour them down the plug hole etc, etc.

Another nice way just put some relaxing music on with another glass of wine... OMG I must sound like an alcoholic, I don't drink that much... please believe me... lol

Hope you feel a whole lot better soon :)

[Mels]

HI Jade,

Sorry to hear you're still feeling down. I hope you get through it very very soon.

sending big HUGS

Mels

[Genie]

Hi Jade, sorry to hear you're still low. Can you step up your physical activities at all? It will help you feel better, I promise. Trust me, I'm a counsellor :)

Seriously, it sounds horrible place to be for you right now and I'm sorry to hear your going through it. Take care of you.:yes

[femke]

Hey Jade, Sorry to hear your feeling so SAD the cold deffinatly doesn't help,
we have just had a heat pump fitted, certainly takes the nip out of the air.
Still can't beat central heating, and double glazing, luxuries we never knew we had before:laugh
Good thing is winter doesn't last too long:raebanana
If you need a chat and a coffee, you know where i am.
Moira

[thewoodies]

So sorry you all feel low! im stuck trying to sell in the uk - thread started by holland! I think its the cold thats getting you down I worked with a south African in the uk who just felt so cold all the time - she just wanted to go home and she did - she did cheer up when she moved to a centrally heated place -!!!

This is my biggest worry what if im cold? I wil be VERY miserable!!!!:(

Is it worth bringing some really good plug in raidiators in our container we have looked on websites in nz cant find any similar ?

Or any suggestions on what we could bring?



Just focus on you the lucky ones in NZ in the UK:-:cheers

Uk weather CR*p

Governement making mess after mess!!!:mad:


Stabbings happening all the time mainly teenagers!!


Housing market slowing down


Interest rates if moving to NZ not so good

Petrol in uk ££££££££££ up


Food gone up 10% this year !!!!!!!


Its just getting worse and worse here

stay positive its only central heating and family that would be worth coming back for but at what cost??

[holland]

mmmm....been up for a while, can't sleep....got lots of things on my mind...and the busy road, airport over the road and train track are not helping. When I first arrived didn't affect me, I slept through it, but more and more, as I am unsettled, I spend nights just staring at the ceiling!

Oh, how I would kill for a bath! I would love to light some candles and relax in one...I thing I used to do in the Uk to just 'chill'...but unfortunately...I DON'T HAVE ONE!

I could step up my exercise....well, when I say step up...I should say 'I should start doing some!' Weather permitting I will make a point of going for a long stroll this PM.

Will look into heating options suggested.

Things I can change in my life at the moment?...well, work is a challenge for me, but I suppose that is to be expected at this early stage...I am on good money for NZ (obviously less than uk), the main thing we are going to change is looking at houses to buy as this is deprssing, we have looked into another rental...go for drive by's and don't like the area...a problem we had when we initially arrived, which is why we ended up by a train track, airport and road. We do do things with our weekends...so doing all I can there. I ring home everyday...maybe that is something I could change...this is sometimes a challenge...as if I say I am unhappy my mum jumps to 'you coming home' and if I say no, she says 'well, if you are NEVER coming back to england you will have to settle some where'....I get quite frustrated and find it just best to chat to hubby about it, as people from home just don't understand.

I should stop whinging now I suppose! I am shattered, bags under my eyes and off to do a days training and paint a smile on my face!

Thanks for all your kind wishes xx

Moira...pm me your number!

Jade x

[holland]

woodies....thanks for the reality check!

[tea drinker]

HI Jade (hope you dont mind me calling you that)

Ive been off the forum for a few days so havent seen your earlier comments.
But WOW...
look at how many messages of goodwill and hugs and care and concern you got within days!

You seem to be very reflective about your feelings and I think that is actually a positive outlook about you feeling down.
As someone has said sometimes there will be times that we all feel out of sorts.
Blimey... look at what you have done to get to NZ...its bound to catch up with you plus the stress of not finding a house and living in a chilly one.

Getting out for a walk , even on a grey wet day, can help and so does breathing deeply whilst you stride out. Mind you, you might get a few funny looks from the locals for that:laugh

Anyway, hope that things start to feel better for you...take each day as it comes
Take care

[IanW99]

...
Is it worth bringing some really good plug in raidiators in our container we have looked on websites in nz cant find any similar ?
...


Just to note that bringing electric heaters from the UK may not be the best idea.

UK heaters are normally rated at 13A (3KW) where they are only rated at 10A (2.4KW) in NZ. This means that if you were to run them on full power in NZ then they would draw more current than is safe to do so.

So the best suggestion is either to ensure that the heater has a maximum power of 2400W or wait till you get to NZ as there are plenty of choices of heaters.

Ian

[sizzlingbadger]

I've found going for a drive around the countryside does me wonders, reminds me just why we moved to NZ in the first place and how different it was where we were in the UK.

Having difficult times at the moment, OH is very short tempered and it's really getting me and the kids down. Probably something to do with an allergy he's had since the beginning of the year, typical man can't deal with being ill :o

Not sure how to approach it but know me and the kids can't go on much longer. Really angers me the way he belittles the work I do and expects me to work full time, no thought on where the kids would end up especially holiday times with no parents around to help :exit

[marcia]

I ring home everyday...maybe that is something I could change...this is sometimes a challenge...as if I say I am unhappy my mum jumps to 'you coming home' and if I say no, she says 'well, if you are NEVER coming back to england you will have to settle some where'....I get quite frustrated and find it just best to chat to hubby about it, as people from home just don't understand.




Wow - I was surprised to hear this - I sometimes find it hard to think of what to say to my parents and I only speak to them once a week - it must be really difficult when you are ringing every day. Did you speak to your parents everyday when you were in the UK?

I don't want to appear to be hard hearted, or critical - its your decision at the end of the day, but perhaps it would be easier on both sides to start cutting down to a couple of times a week, then maybe once a week?!

I sound awful - but i am very close to my family and to start with i was speaking to my parents everyday on Skype, partly because they were sorting our house sale out and partly because I didn't have much else to do - now I am so busy, days can go by and I haven't even logged onto skype.

You will know when it feels right to start reducing the phone calls.

Big hugs Jade, hope you get back on track soon.

xx

[holland]

Having difficult times at the moment, OH is very short tempered and it's really getting me and the kids down. Probably something to do with an allergy he's had since the beginning of the year, typical man can't deal with being ill :o

Not sure how to approach it but know me and the kids can't go on much longer. Really angers me the way he belittles the work I do and expects me to work full time, no thought on where the kids would end up especially holiday times with no parents around to help :exit

Sizzling Badger...hope you are ok? Has your hubby been to docs re minimising symptoms? Might alter his mood.....:confused:

[holland]

Hi marcia...yes I spoke to mu mum at least once a day when we were at home...we were and are very close.

Is quite difficult though...as if we have a 'difficult' emotional conversation...mum goes to bed to think about it and cries and I have to go and do a full days work!

Its no wonder Im stressed!

[sizzlingbadger]

Having just re read what I've put I realised I must have got out of bed the wrong side :uhoh feeling a bit down about things at the moment, think it's to do with the fact everyone has gone home and I kind of missing family being around :( Seems to always catch me out this time of year, end up for the past couple of years having up and down days during the winter months :o

With phoning your mum Holland, I went for the first 6 months without speaking to my mum, it was too hard on me and her emotionally (we hadn't left the UK on good terms), we now speak to each other every 4-6 weeks. It took a while also to settle down and not get too upset speaking to Dad. If you can try and cut it down slowly, maybe once every couple of days and then less when you feel ready.

Hope you're getting more better days, hang in there it will pass :nice1

[Mickstim]

Just read this thread Jade but have already replied to your PM. I think changing rentals may work wonders as if you are living somewhere you are unhappy in it does tend to colour everything. We have ended up paying a higher rent than we planned but absolutely love the house and it is incredibly warm and bright. I know Lesley S also posted about how differently she feels to be in a rental she enjoys.

If house prices continue to drop maybe it would be a good thing to put off buying for a while anyway? I don't know what the forecast is here but the rest of the world is certainly feeling the house price drop (if you know what I mean) and maybe in 6 months time it will not only be warm but you may also get more for your money!!

Thinking of you !

Bx

[rebekkahpayne]

Hi Jade, I know I don't know you from Adam, but please believe me when I say I really hope that you will get on top of things soon. It must be horrible feeling down all the time and I wished you had a bath because I think the candle and scent thing would have made you more relaxed.

Anyways I would like to ask people who have made the transition from UK to New Zealand how easy is it to do and is it easier to find office work out there? I would like to know because I now want to move more than ever from the UK. Both my husband and I feel really miserable over here and like the comments "thewoodies" said with the crime rate, rising costs etc, etc... we would like my children to grow up somewhere where we don't have to look over our shoulders all the time.

My husbands family aren't really that close and they make no real effort to see either us or their grandchildren, to be quite honest if we had the money to move tomorrow I'd do it. I think New Zealand would be right up our street so to speak. Please could we get some advice from you guys please in what to do.

Thanks

Bekkah & Family

[castleclan]

Hope you can keep thinking positive! Every now and then when I start to complain and feel down I try to do a reality check and 'count my blessings'. I know its not easy but after my friend and neighbour's child died of cancer aged 12, I know I should try and keep the positive things in the forefront of my mind. My other stress reliever is a good aromatherapy massage.
There's alot of positive energy here from everyone. Best wishes to you

[Andy-Dee]

LOL I think not... or maybe they are REALLY close friends... :D

:laugh:laugh I've just remembered what 'rooting ' in NZ means from a previous thread. And you are right .... Jade and I are not THAT close!!!:p

[NZ Hopeful]

:laugh:laugh I've just remembered what 'rooting ' in NZ means from a previous thread. And you are right .... Jade and I are not THAT close!!!:p

I made the same mistake in the Barrak Obama thread! :D

[holland]

Thanks so much for such lovely posts. Castleclan, your post does absolutely put things into perspective.

I have had a stern ( kind of) kick up the bottom by a forum member ( any guesses?????!), and have felt much better since. We booked 2 viewing for new rentals, went to one last night..nope...'the next door neighbours have quite a few parties, but they will tell you first...they are really nice!'...and we had one booked for tonight...but the real estate agent rang to say it has now gone.

Anyhow, despite that....I have got my climbing gear firmly attached to my body..and I am on my way up this deep hole I have been in! BRING IT ON.......

[thewoodies]

ps I swear by st johns wort if you feel down - glad your feeling better::)