[sarahw]

Well 7 weeks into our NZ adventure & our first visitors from home have arrived! Great to see friends & people we know and be able to have some good chats with people we've known for years!!

After spending a couple of days with them I've realised how we have really done the right thing in coming here - our lives already seem at a slower pace. We went into the city yesterday & they're still on 'London' mode racing around & I noticed that I, who used to be the worst rusher in the world, was mooching along the street slowly and not getting agitated by the kiwis who were walking really slowly in front of us!!! :laugh

It also hit home when we were sat outside chatting & Ian arrived home from work at 5.15 (he was working late!! Hee hee!) and they were gobsmacked that he'd driven all the way back from work & had the whole evening ahead of him - 'that's nothing' he said - 'on Friday I'll be back by 4pm!'

Seeing people from home's reactions to our lifestyle has really confirmed what we already knew.

We don't know how lucky we are!! :mrgreen:

Anyone else with similar experiences?

[RoadRunner]

Hi Sarah,
That's great to hear! :cool

I noticed that I, who used to be the worst rusher in the world, was mooching along the street slowly and not getting agitated by the kiwis who were walking really slowly in front of us!!!
If NZ can cure me of rushing around at breackneck speed all the time, I'll be quite pleased indeed! :laugh

(Although I guess I'd have to give up my roadrunner nickname!)

Roadrunner

[jo b]

Sarah

what a brilliant post. I bet most of us wannabes really want to feel like that when we get there, I know I do, but I definately haven't got rose tinted glasses.

Keep us updated on your adventure.

Jo

[Diny]

Sarah

Great to hear that you're so happy and confident ..... it's very encouraging to read posts like yours.

If living in NZ will cure my manic irritation of having people 'daudling' along in front of me on the pavement then all the stress and hard work will be worth it.

Keep on enjoying it !!!!

Diny

[Iain & Liz]

people are so unpolite here
they dont move out of the way especially in pac n save and when you have a pram...forget it you have to ram them out of the way to get anywhere.
and as for the driving i have not seen any thing like it in my life they all race off at the lights trying to out do the car next to them and push in where ever and when ever.
oh and they have no idea of what a que is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont thint its slower paced at all .

[Moorf]

Cripes Liz.. I seem to be disagreeing with you on all sides but I don't mean to, I just don't agree (hmm does that make sense?)... I find people here alot more polite and haven't had probs with queues or trolleys - always get a "how's it going" and can usually get into a good convo whilst packing the groceries (ok, there's the old old hag who's not interested in talking but isn't there everywhere?!) traffic is FAR FAR better than the UK (and yes I've driven in and out lots of times at "rush hour") - I am happy to pootle around town and sod anyone who burns off at the lights..I just chuckle and listen to their stupid turbo's whining away and catch up to them at the next set - they never get far :laugh

[richard]

... and as for the driving i have not seen any thing like it in my life they all race off at the lights trying to out do the car next to them ....


Good fun isn't it. Now that I am finally behind the wheel of my Jag again I usually win. :booby

[Tanya]

people are so unpolite here
they dont move out of the way especially in pac n save and when you have a pram...forget it you have to ram them out of the way to get anywhere.
and as for the driving i have not seen any thing like it in my life they all race off at the lights trying to out do the car next to them and push in where ever and when ever.
oh and they have no idea of what a que is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont thint its slower paced at all .

People are polite if you are polite and nice to them. I have not found anyone that if you smile and say hello doesn't reciprocate in the same way.

do unto others.......and all that

So many negative posts from you - NZ clearly isn't for you - when are you returning to the UK(as mentioned in another post)??

[Jodie]

It's great when you get your first visitors, isnt it! I think it really does bring home how good we've got it out here when they're pointing out everything that's good/different/more relaxed. Are these the friends that are thinking of moving out here? Is NZ winning them over yet?

As for people being unpolite - I really can't agree. I've met the friendliest people over here - even the checkout girls/guys are happy which is a big improvement on the UK supermarkets! They've always got a smile and a 'how are you today' - it's really refreshing. Obviously there's the odd grumpy git who doesn't give a smile but you get that everywhere. The overall attitude I've come into is a friendly one. As Tanya said - if you're polite to them, they'll be polite to you!

Anyway, glad you're enjoying it still Sarah. We must catch up soon.

Jod
:cool

[jan]

Sarah what an up-lifting post. It's really encouraging to hear posts of that ilk.

Hope everything keeps up! :nice1 :nice1

A very negative post off Iain & Liz. Quite outnumbered in the reply's that followed, but as mentioned by someone else on a previous thread, this kind of behaviour must be isolated incidents when you compare the lowly 4 million residents compared to the 60 ish here in the UK.

Jan xx

[veronica]

On the main part I have to agree with Sarah, its a better pace of life, People are friendly and generally more relaxed.
Liz, I don't know what Utopian shops you went to in the UK but I have noticed no difference at all in any of the supermarkets either in the UK where I am temporarily at the momemt or NZ. As for getting away at the traffic lights, well they make lots of noise maybe but I would say the English drivers are quicker off the mark there, these automatic cars don't lend themselves to quick getaways. Liz if you look around for bad and negative things you will find them. Open your mind and look for positive stuff too, its there. I know that you come from Dover and have been trying to get my head around the place I have been to called Dover and the idyllic place you remember. They don't seem the same.

[heimatseeker]

Anyone else with similar experiences?

Yes! :nice1 After just about 3 months here in NZ, we feel very similar to what you describe. And the gorgeous weather we've had here in Welly lately makes it even better. :smile

cheers,
sibylle

P.S. Can't say I've experienced any impoliteness either in all that time, quite the opposite.

[Timbo]

Great to hear so much good news about how people are settling into their new lives.
We only visited nz briefly, but have to say, we did not experience anything but open friendlyness from ALL we met. Perhaps Iain and liz need to do a trip back to uk to remind them what they are missing. Expensive I know, but it may be worth a try.

[Moorf]

Great idea Timbo... :P

[markkellaway]

I have to say we only spent a few weeks in NZ but found the vast majority of people to be unbelievably friendy, especially when compared with southern England. I've never walked into a shop in the UK and chatted to the shop keeper about something entirely unrelated to any possible purchase, it happened a few times in Christchurch! :nice1

Mark. :P

[Diny]

OK

Here's my two-penneth ........

I totally agree with the comment (can't remember who made it) about being cheerful yourself and getting a cheerful response back.

8 years ago we took the boys on their first trip to NZ. Fergie was 20 months old, Henry was 2 months old and I was a raging lunatic with post natal depression ..... chewing hankies, dribbling, rocking back and forth .... the whole 9 yards (just doesn't seem possible does it :laugh ).

I was not in the right frame of mind (in hindsight) to have made the journey - but we did. I was in a bad mood with the universe. On that particular holiday I found the Kiwis to be the most unpolite, unintelligent, uncultured bunch of morons ever to have a pulse. I hated the food, the country, couldn't understand why these idiots were 'oohing and arring' over some scenery which I could have looked at on the pages of any glossy mag from the comfort of my own home. I boffed at the economy, we were getting $3.45 to the pound and we simply couldn't spend our money - we came back with over half of what we took. I felt the shops were full of old fashioned, cheap trash, the houses were cheap and tatty and all the cars were old bangers which I was embarrassed to be seen in.

Oh the disgruntled list goes on and on.

However ......... by the time we made our next visit, the baby blues were well and truely a thing of the past. Although some would argue the point - I was no longer MENTAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved every second of that visit, fell in love with nearly everybody I met, cried over the scenery, gained countless pounds because the food was so god damn scrummy, loved the idea of batting around in an old wreck of a car that ran on the whiff of an oily rag. Decided which kind of house I eventually wanted (but decided all of them were pretty neat). Spent too much money in the shops 'cos I felt things were much more reasonably priced (spending holiday money remember).

Oh the list of delights goes on and on.

Get my drift. Trips to NZ before and since the 'baby blues' occasion have been FANTASTIC - for all the right reasons (and a few wrong ones too ;) ) - the 'baby blues' trip was a disaster. It was me at fault, not the country, I looked at everybody and everyting through grey tinted specs. And of course - I was right - NZ was wrong.

I never have and never will be a person who waves the NZ flag regardless. I am aware that it's a country with it's own 'down sides'. Sadly nowhere on the planet is Utopia, but I think we all need to be aware that our own personal feelings go a massive way into shaping our minds about a place (does that make sense?).

Be positive ........ get positivity back.
Be negative ...... get negativity back.

I shall now read this back to see if it makes sense :?

Diny

[veronica]

That post Diny only needs 2 words..

WELL SAID

[sarahw]

Diny, that was a good post! :nice1

Just thinking if I've calmed down so much in 7 weeks what am I going to be like in 6 months time? Practically horizontal?! :cool all my old friends won't recognise me when they come to visit!!!

Jodie - yes they are the friends that are thinking about moving out here - jury's out so far although they love Welly - all his interviews are next week - the job is the driver of their decision. I'll be in touch very soon - I feel its about time for another bottle or 2 of Longridge! :cheers

[Jodie]

Not sure if I could be any more laid back than I already was in the UK - but I think I am! (MAybe that's why nothing gets done round the house.... Oh well!)

One thing that really can be said about Nz is it's a much more relaxed way of life. However you look at it, it's just so relaxing which MUST be good for you! :uhoh

I feel its about time for another bottle or 2 of Longridge! :cheers

Definately!!! :cheers Our house this time, and you can experience the taste of sausages cooked on the side of a mountain that's disguised as our back garden!! :laugh ;)

Jod

[MB]

Just a side note about dealing with worries when you're living far from home:

one lesson I think is valuable is that when I first came to the US the only person here who I knew really well and who was my best pal was my wife. That's fine, but if you're in that sort of position -- emigrating with only your partner or small family -- it might be an idea to bear in mind that what you might lack until you make good new friends is the sometimes subtle filter of friends, co-workers, pub mates and secondary family members. This is the filter that ordinarily helps you percolate the different kinds and sizes of your worries/problems into getting dealt with by the most apt folks in the most apt way.

That is, suddenly the burden is on you to know what to share with your partner/small family, and how, and when. Learning can take a while as you make a new 'filter' and cope without (a whole) one for a while.

Don't get me wrong. This isn't written in the tone of one of those ruefully learned-from-experience Viz top tips whereby it's obvious that my subtext is that I messed things up royally in this regard with Mrs. Matt :laugh . Nor am I given to taking problems home and whingeing - actually, it's a point of pride with me that I don't.

But I definitely remember this being something I learned: that for a while you're missing a lot of the people and the ways that, in your home country, helped you know which challenges/worries to share, with whom, when, and how.

And I'm pretty happy to make that my 200th post on this forum! :mrgreen:

Cheers,
Matt.

[MB]

Footnote to my last post:
for anyone who doesn't know, Viz is a Brit comic for grown-ups, the letters page of which features a column of purportedly practical Top Tips in which the tip is usually excrutiatingly specific and domestic; counter-productive; or rude.
One tip was: "Save money on doorbell batteries by going to the door every two minutes to see if anyone is there".


Oh, a footnote to the footnote: if you want to give Viz a try, it really is intended for grown-ups. So watch out.

And I've had two letters published in it, so I should know. :cheers

Cheers,
Matt.

[Carol]

Definately!!! :cheers Our house this time, and you can experience the taste of sausages cooked on the side of a mountain that's disguised as our back garden!! :laugh ;)

Jod


Can I come if I promise not to bring children?
;)

[Carol]

Yesterday I had one of the worst days ever since I came to N.Z.

I had something said to me by someone (a kiwi) who I had thought was a friend as well as a colleague - which hurt me very badly.
It was a complete fabricated lie and a slur on my character.


I went to bed crying and woke up crying.
I went to school this morning in tears - but managed to pull myself together before I got there.

When I got there - another teacher I also consider a friend - came into my classroom to say hello - took one look at me and bundled me into her little office.
I blubbered through the story - she listened.

She went straight to see the principal and arranged to have my class for the first session this morning so I could talk things through with him and sort a few things out.

I cried for another hour in his office and then - slowly - I calmed down.
He was great - she was great - they are both kiwis.

There is - apparantly - good and bad wherever you go.
When you are down you are down - and NZ can feel a very lonely place.


I got back to my room to find a note on my desk from two kids who wrote "Mrs J you are the best teacher in the whole world and we are glad you came to teach us"
God bless them....they have no idea how much that meant to me.

Now....(forgive my ramble but.....it's doing me good...)

I decided I needed cheering up tonight - so I went to the mall - late night shopping - something fattening to eat perhaps and maybe a treat for myself in the form of something new and expensive to wear.

I got there - changed my mind - and went to the gym.
Did a yoga/pilates/tai chi class and felt a lot better.

Positive thinking??
perhaps.


While I was there - I met up with a guy who is from Newcastle too.....he made me laugh so much I almost cried (again ;) )

So...to get to the point.....

There are good and bad wherever you go.
Thoughtful and inconsiderate.
Selfish and Giving
Fast and slow.

When you can only see the negatives life is incredibly hard. And difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Liz...........while I agree with everything everyone else has said - I do feel for you.
Because I dont think - right now - you can see the positives.
I've been there.
The longer you are here - the shorter the time it takes to find the light again I think.

And dont waste time on people who make you unhappy..........

I'm sure as hell changing as I get older - re-prioritising - and seeing people in a whole new light.

My god - it can be an eye-opener some days...........


:no



Carol.

P.S. even with all that today Sarah - yes - we also have done the "right thing"................

[Tate6]

Carol--

What a great post! I cried about the note from your school children! And you are so right about everything you said!!

Cannot top any of it--Well put!! :nice1

Terry

[Jodie]

Hi Carol,

So sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday - some people can be so horrible, can't they. THere's just no need for it, but you get it everywhere, even NZ. ;)

Glad you're feeling better today and have a good few friends around you. We're slowly building up a circle of good friends, but it does take a while. We've been here 6 months and probably have about 6 good friends out of all the people we've met so far, but it does take time to biud those relationships, definately.

As for the wine evening - you're more than welcome! And I really think we should catch up at that Thai restaurant you mentioned a while ago too - mmmmmm, getting hungry thinking about it! :nice1

If you want to chat, PM me.

Cheers,

Jod

[Carol]

Another day.......another problem.

My wee lassie came to see me at morning tea with a sore neck......20 mins later she appeared again in tears.
I tried to get her to lie down on the counch in my room and she screamed her head off in pain.
Principal (good guy from yesterday) ordered us both to the docs immediately.
Off we went. Principal stepped in to teach my class - Another teacher (friend) also helped out.



Temperature - normal - no immediate cause for alarm.
Doc saw us 20 mins later - definitely a neck strain - but keep an eye on her over the w/e and watch the rash - he thought it could be a skin complaint.
Meanwhile - doctor 2 comes in to see how she was. (They had been prewarned we were coming by the (now fantastic) principal.

While one was examining her - the other was examining her dolly that she had with her - with a split head.

5 mins later dolly was stitched up and band aided.

We are now home.

What can I say......


OK - let me put it like this......

I am SO over the silly b***h from yesterday!

:cheers :laugh :nice1


Thanks for all your lovely thoughts and pm's guys.
I'm fine.
And you all rock!
:yes

[Diny]

Friday morning here ..... Friday night with you ..... guess that means you should be having a few G&T's - which you deserve.

Keep on keeping on Carol - see you soon.

Diny

[Carol]

onto my second bottle of Banrock Station Diny....

there's more....



I spoke toight on the phone to one of the loveliest people I have ever met - another teacher - I worked with briefly last year.

I've been dying to ring her since I got back from the Uk....

She was so interested......so sympathetic....so understanding....

She is another kiwi lady who I have simply formed a bond with.
She speaks fluent Maori....

I love living here..........

:nice1

[Carol]

Do you know...I'm having deja vue......



from LAST Friday night...



only it was white last week - this week it is red!
:cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers

[kiwidebs]

Carol, Diny and Matt - all fantastic level headed posts. Thanks guys. Carol, sounds like you're having another lovely relaxed Friday evening (I would love a glass of the Marlborough Sav Blanc I have chilling in my garage but am on the Food Doctor Diet so alcohol is FORBIDDEN this week!! ARGhhhh)
Sarah, so glad you're settling well. I really can't wait to get there.

Debs