[dharder]

I know it might be more useful for others if I did a ‘what I find better here/worse here/different, how we manage money wise, how the kids adjust, etc’ (though I’m sure the attentive reader will have caught on the gist of that…) post. But I won’t. Don’t feel rational enough for that today. So I’ll be irrational.

We moved from a not very desirable area in East London (where David Beckham was born…), from a 2 bedroom flat, a 1000 pupil primary school not in the inner city but with an inner city set of problems according to a lousy Ofsted report, with a concrete yard and no climbing frames.

We moved to a well-to-do area, into a six bedroom house with views, a middle class (decile 9) school with good reports, climbing frames, green playfields.

And yet, I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss London. I miss the vibrancy, the life, the diversity, the possibilities, the history. I miss watching the TV or reading a book and have the story set in London, and say to myself ‘hey, I live there!’ I miss taking the bus from work into town, and after 11 years in London, sitting on the top front seat like a tourist, and just taking in the sights. I miss walking through Covent Garden, through Hyde Park, I miss the museums, the embankment, I miss walking past places that mean something historically, with names and sights familiar to people all over the world. I miss living in a place where people move to, rather than move away from.

I miss the view from Hungerford Bridge looking East after sunset.

I remember standing on said bridge, looking in said direction after sunset, and exclaiming ‘how can you possibly NOT love this?’ to my partner in the same incredulous voice that she now has when she looks over Piha beach and the endless ocean and says the very same thing to me.

Different strokes an’ all that, ey?

Daniela, 6 months down, 30 to go, and now off to get a double choc chip muffin

[Andy-Dee]

I feel for you - home is where the heart is. Hope things become more settled and familiar for you soon.

[Jo Jo]

Oh Daniela, I do feel for you. Best wishes.

[Red Devil]

A 6 month post is a difficult thing to do... you're still finding your feet and settling in. Your bound to look back at the positives and good times of London and the UK, but I'm sure given time you'll start to feel the same with your new location and surroudings in NZ.

Try to look at things in a different light... place yourself back in London and think of all the good times you've had in NZ over the past 6 months, do you miss NZ and do you have the urge to go back? If so, then you're in the right place.

Like I say, a 6 month post is a difficult thing to do and I'm sure you'll feel completely different after the next 30 months.

Stick with it and good luck :nice1

[peebles16]

Thanks for posting this Daniela - I do feel it's vital to get a range of perspectives on the move to NZ and have always looked out for your posts and enjoyed them :yes Might not have always agreed but have found them very interesting - so appreciate that :) We are coming up to 6 months in soon and I am (have to say not OH and kids!) having a bit of a wobbly time so is comforting to know others are feeling the same :yes

Best of luck with it all

Karenx

[irishliz]

Daniela

Thank you for your post - refreshing to hear good honest feelings and I really feel for you. You have really struck a cord for me.

PS - we also lived in Chingford before moving to Liverpool and now Wellington.

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

Excellent, we like honest evaluations on here.

[holland]

Daniela,

Honest post....I think it may be a 6 month thing?!? Or should I say..'I'm hoping its a six month thing!!' keep your chin up..Pm if you want a chat!

J x

PS- I have a Blackpool calander and June is 2 donkeys!!!! I miss Blackpool too!

[Tia Maria]

I'm also a big fan of London, so I more than understand where you are coming from. :)

I think maybe where we differ, is that I've always felt there are many different places in the world I could enjoy living, and for that reason I have tried out a few!

I will always love London and could see myself living back there very easily, especially once I have the urge to show the kids Europe. But the thought of moving back to London for good doesn't appeal.

I think at the moment. (and maybe always), choosing anywhere as the place I'll see out my days, is just not an attractive option. I thrive on change and I've always had a problem with routine.

I'm also lucky in that my OH will pretty much go anywhere I want, so I don't feel I'm being denied in anyway.

NZ didn't have instant charm for me, in the way it does for many people, so I was naturally drawn to more vibrant places in the first couple of years here(London & Melbourne currently top of the list!).

But after about 2 1/4 years I suddenly realised how much myself and my family are part of the local community and it has been this aspect that has made me look at NZ as a longer term option. On the condition that we could have big trips out to the big wide world every so often! :D

I'm not saying you will go the same way as me, it may be that you are much more connected to your little part of London than I am, (have you lived elsewhere?). But there is a balancing act and the more you can add plus points into the NZ box, the more you will find your longing isn't quite so painful and heartfelt.

So if you have set a time limit of how long you are going to stay, start adding as many positives as you can, so that when it comes to the final decision time you can make it with your head rather than heart.

I've come to the point where I feel its very much about roots, if your connections to a country are tenuous and shallow (rental, job you don't like, no close friends/family, no local hobbies etc etc), then you will fall down at the first sign of trouble. But if you can grow your roots longer, then you have a better chance of weathering the ups and downs that life invariably throws at us.

Sorry you can tell its Friday afternoon - I'm rambling.... :o

Cheers

Tia

[The Hodges]

I can totally see and understand where you are coming from.

It is amazing the little things that we miss too. I miss crossing the M25 on the train home in an evening, rounding the corner to see our house, but then I see the boat in the garage, the view of the sea when I drive to work...

All the best though and see you soon, hopefully.

OORHAB. :raebanana

[All Aboard]

Thank you for your post. Home is certainly where the heart is and you dont know how you are going to feel or how you will cope with it until you have done it. :(

May the 30 months for you pass quickly!!

[LesleyS]

6 month posts are incredibly poignant, it's such an 'in limbo' state of mind, that most of us can totally identify with.

Like you, I have also found these first few months difficult in terms of looking back at my former life with yearning! Adapting to a new life in a completely different country isn't always straightforward for some, or maybe we are the brave ones for actually daring to admit our feelings?

No two people are ever going to have the same experiences and viewpoints following this massive leap into the unknown. I have learned to accept that some days will be better than others, and that if I keep myself as busy as possible there will be less time for nostalgic reflection.

It helps to share our feelings with others......you will never be alone.

Keep talking!

[dharder]

Thanks everyone for your supportive thoughts and comments. It really helps to know that I’m not the only one!

NZ is the fourth country I’ve lived and worked in, and as far as emigration goes, I would think this is my second one (the other times I just moved, or was born there). I am aware of a lot of the steps and stages, and what kind of ‘grieving’ period you go through at what stage, so I kind of tried to prepare myself for it, in as much as that is possible. Of course the difference is that I wanted to move to London, and still some of the ‘culture shock’ stages got me even then, so this time it is of course slightly worse.

I will settle here to some degree, I’m sure, I’m too much of a creature of habit for that not to happen. But I also know that my heart won't be in it. I compared my attitude towards NZ to my attitude towards spinach the other day: when I first tried it, I really didn’t like it, but over the years, spinach and I have gotten to a point where I can eat it and won’t gag. If given a choice, though, my preferred response to either spinach or NZ would be ‘no thanks, I’m fine’.

Again, thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. And maybe now that I have a warm house, it’ll all be good :)

Daniela

[Tia Maria]

dharder wrote:

but over the years, spinach and I have gotten to a point where I can eat it and won’t gag.

I know this comment is coming from a sad place, but this did make me laugh out loud! :laugh :D

Cheers

Tia

[dharder]

I know this comment is coming from a sad place, but this did make me laugh out loud! :laugh :D

I was actually trying to be funny, and you have really cheered me up now by laughing about my attempt at a joke :)

That might even help more than the large choc chip cookies I stuffed my face with earlier today!

Daniela

[Sam B]

Oh Daniela, I wanted you to like it SOOOO much. I'm so sorry it's not turning out to be a big happy surprise. Do you really have to stay 3 years though? I'm worried your kids won't want to leave and you'll get stuck here ....

Thinking of you

Sam

[NZ Hopeful]

I do feel for you Daniela, I moved from Liverpool to a sleepy little town, it's only 25 miles away from where I grew up so slightly different to you but it feels like the other side of the world sometimes, we have been here for 6 years now and I wouldn't call it home, it's just somewhere convenient to bring up the kids. :uhoh

It's the buzz of a city that I miss, but I have learned to be happy with my surroundings. Hopefully you will too (especially now you will be warm!) :yes

[Bruckner]

I know where you're coming from. Recently I've really started to miss New York. I miss the buzz, the whole 24-hourness, food variety, good restaurants, the museums, hell I even miss the subway! But not the crosstown bus. Sartre was riding the M96 when he coined the phrase "Hell is other people."

The other day I was thinking about how distant the memory of living in one bedroom apartment with the twins and a dog was and how much I don't miss that! But realistically, if we did go back we certainly wouldn't find ourselves in that situation. I was looking at real estate on line and even found myself thinking I could live in *gasp* Brooklyn. Nothing against the good folk of Brooklyn, it's a borough rivalry thing.

We came here with the two year minimum/five year maximum and open to staying if we really liked it but I know in my heart we'll be moving on. In a way I envy the folks that have fallen head over heels in love with their life in New Zealand (I'm looking in your direction Moorf!) and I so wanted to feel that way. But hey, it's a big world out there and maybe we'll make a few pit stops before heading back home.

Either way, I'm glad we did it. No regrets at all.

Emily

[dusk]

Daniela, I hope New Zealand becomes more like strawberries than spinach! (assuming you liek strawbertries, who couldn't liek strawberries?!)

if not london's still going to be there when you've done your time :D

[swissmissdesigner]

Excellent posting ...
I wish you all the best Daniela!

[pinkpiggy]

Daniela hope you feel more settled soon.

[sweetpea]

Daniela,

I know where you're coming from. I miss San Francisco fiercely. It wasn't the city I was born in, but it is my home, impossible cost of living, impossible-well, everything-and all. I'm halfway through my 5 year stay in NZ.

Laura

[jo b]

Daniela,

good for you for a god honest post. you always have to be true to your feelings. I too wish and still do that I could have fallen in love with NZ, as it sometimes seems that someone whipped the dream from under my feet without warning. That's how strong my yearnings for home were.

Keep busy, chin up and always remember there is a departure lounge at Auckland too.

Jo

[marcia]

An honest post, enjoyed reading it and all the comments.

Personally I love living here, but having said that i can let myself sit and let my mind wander too much to where we were, sometimes when my minds wanders i find myself imagining the places and people i knew and it will instantly bring a tear to my eye, so i still can't allow my self to 'go there' too hard to handle even now!

It helps to look on all the positive things New Zealand has, rather than the things you miss about your old life! :yes

Heres to the next six months, (once you've got through the Winter, which is always a difficult time of year!)

[leachio]

Well done for sharing Daniela its not always easy, especially when ur 'not quite enjoying the ride' so to say.

U will be familiar with my story, and no matter what lenghth of time we stayed NZ would never have been home for me, but we tried and thats a lot more than some. I can totally relate to missing the old familiar daily events, the parks, bus rides etc etc.

Funnily enough we just came home from 2wks in mallorca today and while at passport control noticed our residency stickers in the passports, my hubby Dan commented that we have until march 2009 to get back over, guess I know where to find him if he goes missing!!