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Nine month post


wiki
17th June 2008, 12:14 AM
.... so does putting this in the Leaving NZ forum give a pretty good indication of our feelings so far?

We'll be moving back to the UK around the time of our one-year anniversary here in NZ.

For those new to the forum, our background: Me, kiwi born and bred who went to UK age 22. Ten years later, me and brummie OH decide to try life in NZ. OH had never been to NZ, but wanted to get out of the UK. I loved our life in UK, but felt I needed to come back for family reasons (dad is 75).
So we packed up and came to my home town (Invercargill - no point moving all the way to NZ and be stuck too far away from my dad and family to see them very often)

It's been a time of much ups and downs. I've truly loved being close to my family again, and they all love OH and she thinks they're great too.

Seeing me in my "natural environment" has been useful for both of us - a lot of my idiosyncrocies now make a lot of sense to OH now that she's seen them reflected in so many of our friends and workmates down here (my inherent laziness and love of netball)

But to be honest, there is too much about the UK we miss and we've come to the realisation we should have waited another 10 years or so before coming out.

We don't have kids, nor do we plan to, but if we did then staying in NZ would be a no-brainer. We both agree we could offer a much better upbringing in NZ.

However, as a childless, some-what selfish couple, we've realised that the things we really miss about the UK can't easily be replicated here.

1) travel. I desperately miss planning our european holidays. Grabbing last-minute cheap flights to strange cities and then booking tiny pensions and going out and exploring. Seeing so much culture and history without it breaking the bank and taking 10hours+ in flying time.

2) did I mention OH is a trained archaeologist? I did warn her that NZ history is quite short compared to the Greek and Roman civilisations of her studies - but even I have to say I miss our trips to the Yorkshire abbeys and yomps along Hadrian's Wall.

3) work. I swear I must be the only person on this forum who arrived in NZ and got a longer working day, more stress and less appreciation. My commute is about the same (10 mins drive) but instead of a nice 7.5 hours in the UK, I'm regularly doing 9-10 hour days and not enjoying the work. I work with some absolute brats - and spend far too much time in conflict resolution that in actually making improvements. The day-to-day operation takes up too much time to work on the big projects I want to get my teeth stuck in to.
I made a big mistake in taking a challenging job when I came here... I could have take something that paid a little less and wasn't so demanding. That would have been the smart move as it would have given me more time to show OH around and get her acclimatised. She resents the fact I'm no longer home at 2.30pm and we miss spending so much time together.

4) The costs. We live quite comfortably on what we earn, but could save a lot more in the UK than we do here. Even the maths of spending $3k each to fly to the UK for a holiday compared to £700 each to fly back to NZ on holiday adds up. In the UK I can still afford to see my family every year - but here we'd only be able to get back to see OHs family every 4-5 years!

5) Family. I love seeing them all again, but with work being so consuming, I don't see them as often as I'd like. Plus, my brother now lives across the street from my Dad so I don't have to worry that no one is looking after him. I'm one of 5 kids, and up to two years ago, three of us lived overseas and one in Auckland - now we're all in Otago or Southland so I don't feel a pressing familial duty that I used to feel. I'd still fly home in a heartbeat if dad needed me, but it's easier to do that from the UK than it is for OH to get from here back to her folks.
And talking of family - OH's first nephew was born a couple of weeks ago in the UK and she's desperate to see him. She's from a small family (only one brother) and being away from them has made her see how much she values them.

Those are the big 5... but our decision has also been sped up by a couple of calamities: OH got bitten by a white tail spider and then we had the coal range explosion and really annoying treatment from our rather useless landlords.

Now I know such things can also happen in the UK - the UK isn't perfect, but NZ just isn't giving us what we want right now, and apart from changing my job, we can't satisfy our history or travel needs from here. We miss the rock concerts, the fast internet, the range of food in Tesco, the tv shows, the radio (I'm listening to Chris Moyles right now!) Eurovision and F1 on at a normal time of day....

We haven't ruled out an eventual return to NZ when we're older: we're both early 30s now, and it may well be that we look at a return in our late 40s or so. We're hoping that if NZ let OH get PR once, they'll do it again.

So that's about it: NZ is wonderful, but not for us right now.

We don't regret the experience as it's been hugely beneficial to us and our relationship. It's helped to clarify what we want out of life and where our priorities lie.

At this stage we're aiming for flights in late Sept, and heading back to Yorkshire, as it looks very likely I can go back to my old job.
But we have a lot to sort out before then. If anyone has leachios' email addy, please pm me if you don't think they'd mind, as I'd love to pick their brains re shipping companies and costs. Then we can have an ex-ENZ meet-up with them in York :cheers

A big thanks to all the wonderful folk on here who have been so welcoming and helpful to us: esp Kat and Moorf and everyone we met in Chch - my one big regret is that we didn't make it up to Hamilton to drag the Waikato Enz crew out for a drink or three.

Jo Jo
17th June 2008, 12:20 AM
Oh, wiki - wow. Best wishes for the future, and good luck.

Sam B
17th June 2008, 01:25 AM
Sorry to hear it's not working out Wiki - but you sound positive about the decision you've made. You're in for the longest winter! Good luck with all the planning and packing.

dusk
17th June 2008, 01:34 AM
thanks for sharing, best of luck with your plans.

I gotta say though - you missed chris moyles?!

Helsandfamily
17th June 2008, 01:53 AM
Eurovision !!!!!!:eek:

All the very best, and thanks for all of the informative posts

hels

wwwdot
17th June 2008, 02:29 AM
Good luck with your plans:clap

I have lived in quite a few countries (8 I think:uhoh) and understand that although life can be great wherever you live, it's all about maximising the good stuff in all areas of life. It really sounds like you are making the right decision at this moment in your lives.

I did not realise F1 is shown in NZ TV? Yippee:clap

-Finn&Kiwi soon to move to Dunedin


BTW If you need a rental flat in S Yorks, let me know. And we are selling the car as well...:o

Red Devil
17th June 2008, 03:04 AM
Sorry to hear things haven't worked out, but appreciate your honest post and views about matters.

Good luck with everything and hope the move back to the UK goes well... keep us posted :nice1

NZ Hopeful
17th June 2008, 05:01 AM
You sound really positive about moving back, it's a shame it didn't work out for you this time but as you say maybe in a few years. Good luck with your plans and packing! :)

bilbo baggins
17th June 2008, 05:21 AM
Yes you are on my wave length and have addressed all the concerns we have regarding our move next year! It will be interesting to see how we settle in but being considerably older but probably no wiser are still going to give it a go! I also come from Yorkshire and just returned after a walking the Dales Way with the feeling that why the hell are we living in the the South East. Needs must at present but if it doesnt work for us in NZ then back to Ilkley it will be. Sometimes a move puts a different perspective on things but having said that we are really looking forward to coming over.

Recce Feb 09
Planning to move to CHCH or Nelson June 09

wiki
17th June 2008, 08:12 AM
Good luck with your plans:clap

I did not realise F1 is shown in NZ TV? Yippee:clap

BTW If you need a rental flat in S Yorks, let me know. And we are selling the car as well...

It's shown on Sky TV (pay channels) - which we didn't bother to get ourselves, since Dad has it, but found that we weren't watching it as much as we did in the UK (OH is a big Mika fan, so our waning of interest may be due to the lack of our fav late 90s/early 2ks drivers)

With the cost of fuel, we're aiming more for North Yorks, but may need to take you up on the car offer!

At the minute our final departure date depends on holiday plans by friends in Switzerland and Finland :) who still want to come here to see us...

And to everyone else, thank you: I know it may seem like we're giving up a great opportunity, but it's just not right for us right now... who knows what the future will hold :)

benhila
17th June 2008, 09:00 AM
Hi Wiki

Actually I know exactly where you are coming from. We are now in our late 40s (Ben will be 50 in Nov, ooops) and lived in London for the last 20 years which made it possible for us to travel extensively all over Europe, US and the far east. 10 years ago I can't imagine anything pulling us away from our life in the UK and fat salaries (and the lifestyle they make possible) had much to do with it too. Anyway, now we feel ready for a change of scene and NZ seems to offer a lot of what we value. Having said that, we don't yet know whether this is a permanent move or a 2-3 years adventure: time will tell. Best of luck and squeeze life to the full!

Hila

dilanium
17th June 2008, 09:24 AM
Good luck with your plans! I hope everything works out for you!

:)

JandM
17th June 2008, 09:41 AM
All the best.

jubjub
17th June 2008, 10:01 AM
Good luck, sorry to hear things havent worked out, but I remember after the shock when your fire blew up you were saying back then how it had crystalised a few doubts in your minds....

Enjoy the rest of your time here..

mgbridges
17th June 2008, 10:05 AM
Your post makes so much sense and its clear that NZ just doesn't give you & your OH what you need right now so I think you are making a very sensible decision.

To be honest if we hadn't of had DS I don't know if we would have ended up in NZ, more likely running a pub in Yorkshire if OH had his way! ;)

Good luck with your return to the UK and I hope that you'll pop in from time to time to let us know how you are doing. I'm going to miss seeing you around here!

Anneliese

The Hodges
17th June 2008, 11:07 AM
Great post. Good luck with your move back. We understand a lot of the things you have said.

CJ22
17th June 2008, 11:07 AM
Fortunately, F1 is available on Usenet around the world, otherwise that would definitely be a problem. I'm thinking that's my Monday nights sorted ;)

Sorry to hear it didn't meet your expectations. I'm a little concerned about suffering the same fate - many of the things you talked about chime with me - especially the land and the history. I'm just hoping to find other different but equal diversions.

But it's great you might be able to get your old job back - one less thing to worry about. There's a lot of us Yorkies on here isn't there?

jo b
17th June 2008, 11:15 AM
Best wishes wiki and well done for realising/admitting (if thats the right phrase) of what is best for you and your partner.

Yorkshire is beautiful (as is Lancashire:yes).

My lad has just joined a footy team with free training (no subs until there is enough for a team) and it was brilliant. SUn shining and I got on my bike and cycled up to the rec(footie pitch).

Best wishes. If you have an ex expats meet count us in:laugh.

Jo

dharder
17th June 2008, 11:26 AM
Thanks for your post, wiki. And yes to all your points, and no, you are not the only one to work more for less, I do the same.

And even with kids, I don't think NZ is a no brainer at all, it really depends on what you value or think your kids could/should have. My older ones have been all over Europe, they are very keen on History, so we've done the cemeteries in France, seen the coliseum in Rome, stood in front of the leftovers of the Wall in Berlin, and of course living in London is full of history itself.

The little ones won't have that (for now), and I do think that is something I miss having for them.

So there. Even with a family, the UK-NZ thing is not as clear cut as it often is made out to be :)

All the very best with planning the move,

Daniela

nippa&pippa
17th June 2008, 11:36 AM
It was great to meet you both at chch's meet and wish you luck for return back to uk.

KerryS
17th June 2008, 11:59 AM
Good luck with the move back to Yorkshire Wiki. I can relate to many of the things you've said in your post.

peebles16
17th June 2008, 12:05 PM
What a great post Wiki - you've obviously given this a huge amount of thought and have made the best decision for you both :yes Wishing you both all the very best on your move back to the UK.

Karenx

zardell
17th June 2008, 12:59 PM
We don't regret the experience as it's been hugely beneficial to us and our relationship. It's helped to clarify what we want out of life and where our priorities lie.



Wise words Wiki and well said.

Good luck and safe travels to you both.

Julie

xx

Moorf
17th June 2008, 01:07 PM
Hey Amy - I know how much you and S can't wait to get back to the places you spoke so fondly of, and as a fellow history/archaeology lover totally understand S's frustration too! Hopefully we'll get to meet you one more time before you leave.. will your flight go from Chch?

H&W
xxxx

All Aboard
17th June 2008, 03:21 PM
Thank you for your very honest post which I can relate to very much.

You are not giving up a great opportunity at all. New Zealand is a very isolated place and it costs the earth to travel any where else. The time isnt right and thats that. And you may be going back in time for the second winter but at least you will have central heating and be living in a solid built house!!!

Good luck with your plans. Please continue to post and let us know how you are getting on.

R&A
17th June 2008, 06:06 PM
Well done for making such a difficult decision - it must be a relief!

I remember, you and your partner were about 6 weeks ahead of me getting your partnership PR and it looks like you are now probably about 6 weeks aheas of us making the exact same decision we are facing now, and for almost identical reasons.

My other half is the kiwi, we've pretty much decided we miss the same things you do from home and I'm so relieved to see its not just us that feels this way. The cost of visiting is probably the driving force for us - if we live in the uk, as you said, we'd be able to afford to visit NZ every year is we want to to see OHs family but living here thats just not possible for us either.

We are both 27 years old, also with no children and could easily imagine us wanting to be here in another tem years also. Who knows? We're trying to decide whether its worth staying a while longer to get my IRRV or to just hope it would be possible to reapply in the future, as you said.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that someone COMPLETELY understood your feelings and situation - right down to missing Tesco!

Good luck with you return to the UK - I'm not jealous at all - oh no - not me ;)

Good Luck. x

benandclare
17th June 2008, 06:39 PM
Thought provoking post Wiki and can see why you've come to your decision and good luck to you and S with your move back to UK.

gil
17th June 2008, 08:25 PM
Only just seen this - we'll miss you both on here! Sounds like you've come to the right decision for you right now, so all the best with it, and keep in touch!

Love

Gil
xx

leachio
17th June 2008, 11:06 PM
Wiki pm'd ya x


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