[beth&rich]

I am very lucky in that I not only love my family, but I get on with them very well and visit a couple of times a month. I am also very lucky that they, and the MIL, intend to visit us when we make the move to NZ. :)

However, the phrase "but of course, its such a long way we'll have to stay for a couple of months to make it worth while...." is starting to terrify me! As things stand at the moment, it looks like we have various relatives expecting to stay with us almost solidly for at least 6 months in our first year there. Its not like we're going to be able to afford a big rental! :confused:

How on earth do you stay sane and keep relations sweet when the rellies pay you an extended visit?!

[nippa&pippa]

I had my MIL stayed for 6 months!! from last oct till this april :p

[beth&rich]

I think you must be a braver woman than me. I think murder would be done!

[IanW99]

I am very lucky in that I not only love my family, but I get on with them very well and visit a couple of times a month. I am also very lucky that they, and the MIL, intend to visit us when we make the move to NZ. :)
...
How on earth do you stay sane and keep relations sweet when the rellies pay you an extended visit?!

Are you sure that you are very lucky... :p

And who ever said we were sane :D

Ian

[beth&rich]

:D

[beth&rich]

Have just noticed that the title I've given the thread sounds a bit like "When bees attack!" and other such high quality documentaries.
:exit

[mgbridges]

I'm in the same situation as you in that I get on well with my in-laws, in fact I get on better with them then my own parents. They arrived for a 3mth visit just 3mths after we arrived in NZ and only 1mth after we moved into our own home. In hindsight we should not have had visitors so soon after our arrival. I would strongly suggest seeing if you can persuade folks to wait at least 8 - 12mths before visiting. This will give you time to settle down, start making a social life and getting a circle of friends. It also gives you flexibility and less pressure if you have difficulty finding a rental that you are happy in i.e. you won't feel you have to stay put because relatives are coming/staying.

I would also strongly suggest that if they are coming for months at a time that they/you organise for them to go away by themselves for at least a week around the halfway point. Also make use of them to look after your kids (if you have any) so you and your OH can get away by yourselves. You will need some time apart from your visitors however much you love them. You also need to be sure that they are going to 'pay' their way as your grocery, power, petrol bills etc. will all go up never mind all the day trip expenses you'll have that you might not normally. Plus don't be backwards in coming forwards about asking for help cooking, shopping, cleaning etc. otherwise you'll end up very stressed.

Most of all enjoy your time with them as who knows when you'll see them again!

HTH
Anneliese

[nippa&pippa]

I think you must be a braver woman than me. I think murder would be done!
:laugh It was really good to have MIL but there was moments when I would like her to go away for weekend to give me break. She did went off touring around NZ for three weeks (BUT turn out we did need her the most when our middle child was rushed to hospital half way of her holiday...we told her to continue holiday anyway)

Best tip, ensure they offer to pay toward the costs of stay, like foods, fuel etc (I tried to find link on that as mentioned before..)

EDIT: Here is link, start at half-way...http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=17354&highlight=food&page=4

[JandM]

When we visited last year, we rented a house whose owners were holidaying in the UK (so it was sort of like a house-sit). VERY reasonable, and meant we weren't in the family's faces the whole time, though we were nearby and did lots of things together. Our son found the house by putting up cards in several local dairies (small shops). The other thing we'd thought of and he was checking out was hiring a temporary building (the kind of thing you have for a site office) with loo and shower room, to put on his garden, but in the end it wasn't needed.

[sizzlingbadger]

Have to say we find it extremely hard and now have 6 months off before we start another 6 months of visits from family :o This is how it's been since we arrived 3 years ago and it's taking a huge strain on us a couple and family especially when we've got family staying.

Used to have a great relationship with the in laws but that's slowly turning now, find it very hard not to have our space in the evenings when they're here and all the added costs are a financial nightmare.

If you can be upfront and say delay your visit for the first year and to ask to contribute whilst they stay you should be fine. This is where our downfall came first time around when the in laws thought they were going to stay on us for FREE for 3 months :uhoh Soon learned from that mistake and they do finally contribute something whilst they're here now.

[Carey]

We intend to buy a property with 'granny flat' or OH will build one pronto!

[marcia]

My parents were here for 3 months last summer, and in the middle of their stay my sister and husband came for 3 weeks as well (talk about a houseful!)

They did keep going off to visit places and staying away a few days as well, my dad bought a car which gave him the independance to go off whenever they wanted - they took the boys off to the beach, swimming, park etc quite a bit.

We agreed a figure for 'board and lodging' so i just kept doing all the shopping, everyone mucked in with the chores, spud bashing for 9 seems never ending, and our garden was immaculate! :nice1)

It is hard, but my parents had their own space, our middle one gave up his bedroom for the 3 months, so they had a TV down there and they'd sometimes just go to their room and read or watch Tv for a bit of peace.

We did quite a few trips away together, usually long weekends as Kev still had to work.

It can be quite stressful, certainly very busy and you don't seem to relax much, running around trying to show them everything. But be prepared forthe goodbyes not good!!!!!!!!!!:wah

[BaldyBeardyBloke]

I had my MIL stayed for 6 months!! from last oct till this april :p

Cripes, the thought of it......

I would have to actually seriously consider going back to the UK and living in her house for six months whilst she was here. I'd be happy with a quick wave through the window as our planes crossed over in Singapore airspace.

Six hours is five hours and 59 minutes too long, never mind six months :laugh

Thankfully she's chosen to go to Benidorm, or some other godforsaken Spanish hellhole, with her partners sisters this year instead of coming here.

You have no idea how pleased I am. Actually I think you might have a slight clue.

FIL coming for six weeks over Christmas. Looking forward to that. He's no longer with MIL, a fact that cheers up him no end I reckon.

My mum coming for two weeks, looking forward to that.

My dad not coming. A fact that doubtless cheers PP up :)

In laws - can't live with them, can't beat them to a pulp with a fence post.

BBB

[marcia]

In laws - can't live with them, can't beat them to a pulp with a fence post.

BBB


Yeah kev spent A LOT of time in the 'man cave' when my parents were here - come to think of it so did my dad.........................:D