[Iain & Liz]

I don't think that i am overly protective of my children but living in NZ has opened my eye's to just how protective i really am?
some of the thing that have shocked me!!!!!!

Most of the parks are right next to the main roads without fencing or safety gates, which is a real worry, when you have 2 young ones to look out for.

The amount young school kids (5yrs and up) ridding to school on their bikes, scooters with out any adult supervision and almost every day i see near accidents.(we live almost opposite a primary school)
however they all wear helmets

Children and babies being left in cars alone while adults go in to shops and to drop other kids off at school(some times for longer then 20 mins)

In our childs kindy they are allowed to play with real tools (full sized saw's,hammers, rotary drills,nails etc,) then allowed to run around with out any shoes on.
to me that's an accident waiting to happen.

Here is a story that really put the icing and cherry on the top of the cake (as they say)
I had made friends with a woman who's boy went to kindy with our's.
we have only known each other for about 8 weeks and only saw each other at kindy about twice a week
she asked" if we would like to go to hers next week and the boys could play" i said that i would let her know on the monday as we didn't know what we were doing.
so the weekend came and went,and monday morning came and i took harrison to kindy said good bye and came home.
i was feeling awfull as i had a really sore mouth and was running a few mins late to pick him up .
i finaly arrived but could not find harrison any where. :eek
The teacher gave me a strange look. :uhoh
and i knew something was up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wah
I ran out of the building to see him getting in to a car!!!!!! :eek
As it turns out the woman and her husband(harrisons friends parents from kindy) thought that they would take harrison to their house for dinner !!!!!!!!!!! :no
with out telling me or having my permisson !!!!!
the school said that they seemed sure and assured them it was ok!!!
any thing could have happened to my son ,they could have been child abusers or worse,IF I HAD BEEN A MIN LATER I WOULD HAVE MISSED HIM. :?
Any way i had a little chat with the school and they are going to keep an eye on them and inform who ever is needed
they assure me it won't happen again !! but how did it happen in the first place.
and how could they let him go with people they think are strange as well
and to take the word of two 4yr olds.
has any one else got any views on the safety of their kids or am i just over protective?

[eric_amanda]

My eldest son goes to kindy 3 afternoons and I must admit to being a little concerned on their system of letting children go. It seems to work, but I do have reservations. :no

The children sit on a mat for last 15 mins of the session and parents are allowed to come in during this time. (Quietly) Once the session is completed, the children have to wait for their name to be called (i.e when the teacher has called it after spotting the parent). This inevitably turns into utter confusion, it gets noisy and I must admit I struggle sometimes to hear Edwards name called, as he must wait until that time before he can leave. It also ends with vacant teachers running about after children who have left before their name is called! IMO there should be a teacher standing at the door watching children leave with parent/carer etc. :wah :? :(

We also have to sign in and out children as they arrive/leave. Although what use this is if it isn't checked I am unsure?????

I think in some instances due to the high health and safety / political correct society we all come from in the UK, sometimes we are a little overprotective without realiseing it, and I agree that NZ does not seem as forward with some H&S issues, like the tools they use at kindy.

I feel for your situation iain and liz as I have 3 preschoolers all under 4 years and so in some situations I find life very difficult. You mention that parents leave children in the car whilst dropping children at school for up to to 20mins. 20 mins is very excessive and perhaps it would be more appropriate to put the child in a pushchair. I find it necessary to leave my two in the car while dropping Eddie at kindy, but this is in the kindy car park, with lots of windows open, car unlocked and doors open sometimes and only for a couple of mins MAX. Maybe you would find this unacceptable but I am physically unable to carry them both and pushchair is not allowed!! :( so I make it as quick as possible - I hope I don't sound too terrible, I just can't do it.

The no shoes thing........well there is a time and place in my opinion, but I guess with 4 teachers to 45 children, they cannot keep on top of everything?

Hope this makes you feel as if you are not alone, I have been reading about your problems and coming return to the UK and my thoughts and best wishes are with you both, it is not easy making this move with such young children, as we well know.

Best wishes

Amanda

[Iain & Liz]

hi amanda

I followed all the procedures of signing in etc so cant understand what happened?.
and yes we have all left the kids in the car at some point but when they are jumping all over the seats playing with the steering wheel and god forbid the hand brake it makes my tummy turn.
i think i am an over protective mum and will have to let go more!

[veronica]

Kids are precious and while they have to be protected they have to be allowed to experience some things.

Bare Feet. I spent a part of my childhood playing barefoot in Oz and the only time I got a nail through my foot was when I had shoes on. It went through the sole of my sandals.

New Zealand children are allowed a greater freedom in somethings than kids in the UK. Riding bikes, well the roads are much wider than here in the UK. The roads where we are here in the UK if two cars pass each other there is no space left for a bike. In Chch there is plenty of room and in a lot of places a cycle lane. The playgrounds (climbing frames swings etc.) in the schools here are adventuous, they are real, they have fairly high monkey bars and the kids use them and having brought kids up in the UK where everything is so mollycoddled its a joy to watch them and see the skills they are developing. No fences round the parks, quite right too, you don't have to cage your kids to keep them safe, while you are there you play with them and watch them, they are under your control and you teach them NOT to run off out of the park.
I have noticed that very often the kids that have the accidents are the ones who are not street smart, so while I have to agree that protecting kids is so important protect them by teaching them rather than stifling them. So much has been lost in the UK because of the 'dangers' our kids are exposed to, they get to 11 yrs old and have never walked to the shop on their own then suddenly they are at secondary school and have to catch public transport on their tod.
Can't comment on the kindy NZ systems as have never been exposed to that but it is a fact that most kids who are abused its unfortunately very often a parent or relative who is the abuser.
Our kids had their own horse from ages 6 and 9 and the dangers we used to put them in by allowing them that still scare me now. But its better to let kids do things under supervision than be forever stopping them. If you do that they will only find ways to do what they want while round a friends or by other surruptitious means.
Once they are old enough do be careful about being overprotective, ironically that carries its own danger.

[Tanya]

Veronica

Can't put anything else to what you said except to say

WELL SAID :nice1



Tanya

[Carol]

Just before we left England for our new life in NZ - something happened in a school in Dunblane in Scotland.

Remember it?
I'll never forget that day as long as I live.


Our son's school in England became a virtual high security area over the next few weeks.

And it took me a long long time to get used to how things were here when we first arrived.



But you know what.......that is why we are here.

C

[eric_amanda]

The rule of thumb here tends to be.....Chill Out..........In fact I bought myself a rather classy mug saying that just a couple of weeks ago with some rather cool Polar Bears on it. Whenever I get a little stressed about things I just make a cup of tea and Chill.........

I guess when we arrive here in NZ we have to suddenly get used to that more relaxed way of life in more ways than one. I have never be too 'over' protective of my children, I have always been keen for them to pick themselves up, brush themselves down and get on with things, but in NZ people are even more laid back and some things are a little odd at first and take a little getting used too.

Just chill...........

Amanda

[jocalla]

I have mixed feeling on this. I too had a smile on my face when the kids started school and I saw the kids running around in bare feet, with so much freedom. After coming from a school in the UK which DID NOT give the kids any freedom, it was refreshing to see :P
But like Liz, I have had a bad experience with this. :(
After being brought up in OZ myself, I really longed for my kids to have the same freedom, but what comes with that, is a higher chance of accidents.
My daughter has had a terrible accident at school, which unfortunately is going to effect her for the rest of her life. This accident could have been avoided if she was being supervised properly, and that is a fact :?
So obviously I am struggling now with my views. There is no doubt that the school they attended in the UK was tooooooo restrictive, so it is like I have come from one extreme to another :roll: .
But at the end of the day, my kids remind me of me as a kid, and they are having as much fun as I did, so I just HAVE to think of it that she was just UNLUCKY, which is hard to do with the circumstances that the accident occurred. :?

I too sometimes think it is me who is overprotective also, but I CANNOT imagine letting my 7 year old walk home from school, which takes 20 minutes, like the kids do here :?
It is funny to think that this is what I wanted for my kids, and now that I have it I am frightened to death :P

[Iain & Liz]

2 true Jo

I have no worries about the freedom, just the responsibility ,judgement aspect of it all.
they are only little kids (5yrs old) and at this age they don't have the experiance or the ability (just my view) as that comes with age
to be able to make life or death decisions in some cases also to understand the amount of danger as most kids are fearless at this age.
( some adults havent even got there yet!!!!!. ) :?
It is a shock and yes it will take time to get used to. :eek :eek :eek

[Iain & Liz]

How chilled would you feel to turn up at kindy and find your child had already been released?

Times have changed veronica, :no I used to do things I would not dream of letting mine do, they are not molly coddled at all, they will be back around animals, machinery and horses in the uk, they will be using rope swings and sledges, with liz me and there grandparents there to super vise and doing all of the things kids do. When you release your child into the care of a kindy, you expect them to be safe and secure!!!!

Iain

[veronica]

We lived in a village in the UK and theres been several times in the past when I have been glad the people running it didn't stick to the rules and released Kerry to go home with a friend, one was when I broke down and was waiting for the RAC and another when I was held up by an accident.

Liz it could be that the lady you didn't confirm the playtime with thought that you not being there was because you had agreed to the kids playing, normally once someone invites you, you either accept or decline. from what you said in your first post it was left open. She is probably sitting there shell shocked at something she has done with the most reasonable motive has backfired on her.

I am not totally out of touch with kids today as I have a 12 year old boy who has lived with us for the major part of his life, he is my fosterdaughters littlun. and while with us she has finished school and got her uni degree and then did shift work (nurse) a lot of his care and upbringing has been left to me.
While you have to be careful you have to look for the good in people and situations too.
Not everybodys an axe murderer.

[Iain & Liz]

The point is the kindy should not release a child to any body who is not authorised by the parent or caregiver.

These people who took Harrison were merely aquantancies, they were not trusted freinds!, I would never make assumptions when it comes to somebody elses child or parenting skills!!

Not everybody is an axe murderer, but could you pick one out in a lineup?

[leslie]

we know someone who keeps stair gates up and his daughter has never been allowed to run for fear she will fall off the edge of the earth. she is 7 years old and seems 110. it is the saddest thing and i could strangle both parents. they are v pleased with themselves.

when we were with friends in wengen some years back i sent my then 4 year old off to the house with my friends son who was 2.5 years older (his families chalet). it was tricky - the chalet was off piste and a 10 minute walk from where we were, but as we watched them bob along (pathway was slightly elevated for first half) chatting, faces gleaming in the sun, i remember thinking how great is that.??? i was really happy to see them when we returned and the two of them were cheerful and confident for days after.

you really do have to weigh up the potential consequence. unfortunately being over-p is no better than being under.

[ruthyroo]

DH works as a teacher here in NZ and recently went on a field trip by coach. When the leader was doing his intro, DH said to him, shouldn't he remind thekids to buckle up (all schoolkids in Scotland have to wear seatbelts on buses now) - the other teacher looked at him as if he was speaking in Martian... There are no seatbelts in school coaches and no requirement for them to be fitted or worn. Like Scotland, it sounds like they are waiting for an accident to happen before doing anything about it.

[A & M]

At least they went on a coach. I have just been on a school trip with my 8 year old as a parent helper. Apparently there is no money available for coach hire, so a group of parents took the children in their own cars. I explained to the teacher that I was still driving on a UK licence, and she didn't think there was a problem - she was just grateful that she had found enough parents to transport the whole class. So I took my daughter and another child. Obviously I made them wear seatbelts, but no-one checked whether I did or not.
Similarly when the older child goes on camp next month, the children and all the kit will be taken in parent's cars.
I was a bit surprised, but at least I can go on the trips as I'm not working at the moment..

Mandy

[ruthyroo]

Sounds very familiar. DH is taking his geography class off to Tongariro for a few days field trip next week and has been really surprised about the lack of concern within the school about risk assessments etc., and that there is no requirement to have a trained mountain guide etc with them - even though they are doing the Crossing. I can only imagine that the litigatious culture of the UK hasn't quite made it over here. At least they can still do the trips here, and take the (managed) risks - in Scotland it is getting increaasingly difficult to find teachers who will take trips becuase they fear being sued when darling little Johnny smuggles in a bottle of vodka and ends up getting his stomach pumped! Seriously though, there is far less emphasis on safety / risk management - and yes finding the funding for the trips is a far bigger issue, so I'm not surprise you were roped in as a driver!

[leslie]

this is one thing i always noted, in kiwis and in aussies, both at home and abroad. they have a very 'free' approach in the way the do things. sometimes its a bit unsafe, sometimes its stupid. its really obvious in sport - maybe they are just really really lucky? the rest of us got rules post-trauma...

the idea of children being driven in parents cars is a bit off-putting. perhaps parents could suggest schools should do what canadian schools did when i was growing up - establish upcoming costs a year in advance and everyone fundraises and gets it over with. no more bakesales... one or 2 big schemes with minimum fuss.

[Carol]

well......all that goes on too Leslie.

We are a school of 170 kids.
Our annual fair last November raised in excess of $30,000.

No mean feat!
(pardon the pun!)



But we still need that parent support.

To be honest I never even think about it now.

[leslie]

pretty good going. here people are thrilled with a £100 day.