[Nicola]

Sorry Folks feeling very maudling today. Went to a funeral in the snow yesterday, it was very beautiful, but very sad.

To get to the point I woke up in the middle of the night with the following thought.

Say both Peter and I were squashed in a Road Traffic accident or something similar. What would happen to the children. What facilities are there in NZ to cater for this. Here at home I have loads of long term close friends and some family. Obviously they would be able to come out to get the kids, but what would happen in the mean time to the children and would the authorities let my relations take the children?

Sorry really daft stupid question, but thought I would get it off my chest before I have another sleepless night.

[veronica]

By the time you have been there a few weeks you will have already started to build up a network of people and there are always people around who are caring and good who will help. There is probably a dept of the social services who are geared up to these situations. AND ANY WAY YOU WILL BE FINE. its just these middle of the night thoughts.

[Nicola]

Thanks Veronica. You are going to have to start chargeing me counselling fees soon. ;)

You are right it is just one of those middle of the night stupid neurotic woman thoughts :oops: . Of course we will be fine and as my oldest is nearly 15, I am sure they will be fine in any circumstances.

[leslie]

we'll be plan b - if you are squashed in the night we will take care of your children. the only downside is that your relatives would have to unteach them all max' bad habits which include crayoning on the new white kitchen cabinets.

the odds are in your favour that you wont need to take us up on the offer though.

[Nicola]

Lesley that is so kind of you to offer. :clap

But I am afraid they do not need to be taught any bad habits they have them all already. :laugh

Thanks to you all for cheering me up again.

Nic

[Diny]

Nic

I have the same kind of 'middle of the night maudling thoughts' ........ I guess it's only natural (well it is if you're as neurotic as me !!!).

http://tcwozere.co.uk/smileys/cwm44.gif

I started having thoughts like this when the kids came along. PB works away for looooooooong periods of time and I would get abit 'hyper' about something happening to me and the kids being alone in the house with a dead mother !!!!!!! Jeeze - how sick is that. perhaps it's just mother nature kicking in - naturally worrying about the safety and wellbeing of our offspring.

Veronica is right, before too long you'll start to build up a 'bank' of people who will 'hopefully' become friends. Just remember .......


YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!!!!!!!! (creepy thought eh).

Try not to panic (huh - fine advice coming from me).

Diny

[kiwidebs]

Hey, you're not alone. I imagine every ache or pain to be a terminal illness and the kids and hubby will be left to cope without me. I think its a part and parcel of being a Mum. Or maybe we're all just paranoid?? :uhoh

Debs

[wilson182]

Veronica and co are right, nicola

Myself and kids have only been back in NZ for a few months, and we already have a network of REALLY good friends. One of the ladies I work with has even offered to babysit the kids over night at her house when Hubby and I want a night out. They love her and she is really fond of the girls.

I have the same thoughts too, especially Diny's one about being in the house on my own with them and falling down the stairs or something. I think it comes with motherhood (men just dont seem to have the same paranoia do they?)

[Nicola]

Thanks guys for all the posts.

Glad I am not the only neurotic mum around. ;)

It is amazing what stupid scenarios my brain can come up with in the middle of the night.

Hopefully I will read this post next year when we have been in NZ for a few months and laugh. :hopeso

Nic

[eric_amanda]

I remember many a time when I was pregnant with babies 2 & 3 that Eric would call home to check I was OK as I had many 'low blood pressure moments' feeling faint, dizzy etc. On a few occasions I did not answer and he would be telephoning neighbours to come and check on me! :P On one occasion he had is 16 yrs old son ride his motorbike from his house to ours (about 2 miles) to come and check on me....I was in the park (next to our house) with the children and the neighbour playing!!! :laugh :laugh

As for worrying about what will happen to the children if something terrible happened, maybe you should make a provision in your will. We did and at least that would put your mind at rest. :nice1

Amanda

[Diny]

I imagine every ache or pain to be a terminal illness and the kids and hubby will be left to cope without me.

Wow .... suddenly I don't feel so stupid. I honestly thought I was the only person in the whole world to think along these lines. I almost feel kind of liberated .... thanks guys.

Diny

[isv]

Nicola,

Probably not the answer you expected.... but if anything did happen to you and your other half you kids at least would not get whacked with a tax bill - NZ does not have Inheritance Tax!.

Alan.

[Tara Sage]

Doesn't it? Well i am surprised

We have also been told to make a will incase we both get squashed an leave our son behind scary thought!!!

[Moorf]

Alan - does that apply if you are leaving your worldly goods to someone in the UK and you are a NZ resident? Not that we have much at the mo but just thinking ahead!!

Moorf

[Beach Kiwi]

What would happen to the children. What facilities are there in NZ to cater for this.

Child Youth and Family (http://www.cyf.govt.nz/view.cfm?pid=20), a government department tasked with the care and protection of children, would look after them until other arrangements for their care can be made. This usually means the children are looked after by approved caregivers paid for by the department.

[Diny]

Our solicitor has told us that we need to make another will each when we live in NZ as there would be all kinds of problems if we only had a UK drawn up will.

Diny

[Carol]

We thought about this ages ago too - and asked my very good friend here if she would look after them temporarily until we could get them back to my parents in England.

she said of course - and they could stay with her forever if need be.

Lovely eh?

I spoke to her parents about it too.......and they made me laugh when they said - just forget Jo (my friend) because under those circumstances she would be a wreck. And to put THEM down as primary caregivers to the kids as a temporary situation - they are also executors of our wills.

I still pinch myself when I think how fortunate we have been to make such fantastic friends.

[Carol]

If I'm truly honest - I actually think about this much more than I should....
Like for instance - every single time we go out for the night - just the two of us!
:? :roll: :roll: :roll:

[isv]

Alan - does that apply if you are leaving your worldly goods to someone in the UK and you are a NZ resident? Not that we have much at the mo but just thinking ahead!!

Moorf

I believe IH is levied on the estate not the receiver so you should be fine.

Most importantly (and this is a point often overlooked by people going to NZ / just trying it out etc.) you need to ensure your Domicile is NZ not UK. This is different from being non-resident for tax purposes. Domicile has nothing to do with where you currently live.

It is absolutely essential you tell the UK IR that you are emigrating and intend never coming back and have the facts to back up this claim (easy really). Usually after three years away they will automatically change your Domicile to your new country.

So why is this important? Even if your are non-resident for UK tax purposes as a UK Domicile your estate will be subject to UK Inheritance Tax...

If you have wealthy and elderly parents I could fully understand why you might want them to come and live with you in NZ (family category) as once their Domicile has changed their estate would be free of tax too! Could make a huge difference to many families (unfortunately we dont have wealthy parents).

This is why it is essential that everyone seriously planning to go to NZ should take a long term view and research everything. If you have to come back after a year (or die early) you could really blow a hole in your tax situation. Likewise if you can see out a prolonged period you could easily end up in a far stronger situation with Citizenship to boot. Must stop - gone off-topic. Sorry!

Alan.

[Diny]

Snap Carol !!

Also when the boys are at school, Mark is way and I'm just nipping off in the care somewhere ....... I'm thinking about car crashes and what ifs'.

Although this is a real morbid subject, I'm finding it really interesting. It's good to know I'm not the only pshyco (sp) mother around.

Might I add ..... if I hadn't got kids of my own I'd be reading this thread thinking that you are all a bunch of neurotic plonkers. :laugh

Diny

[Moorf]

Thanks v. much for that info Alan... :nice1 We are closing down our UK company at the moment and the UK IR are aware of our circumstances from that point of view, however I assume for personal IR scenarios we'll need to inform a different dept. Much food for thought.. thanks.

Neurotic plonkers? Hell no... just amazingly caring parents... v. interesting as a non-mum reading all your thoughts and what goes on in mothers' heads. I worry about my family back home in much the same way but without the huge responsibilities of being a mum.

[Nicola]

Child Youth and Family (http://www.cyf.govt.nz/view.cfm?pid=20), a government department tasked with the care and protection of children, would look after them until other arrangements for their care can be made. This usually means the children are looked after by approved caregivers paid for by the department.

Yes that is just what I was worried about. I am sure they are all really good people and would do there best for the kids. But IMHO the kids would be much better off with people they knew to support them.

Interesting about the inheritance tax. Do you know what happens if you inherit money from back in the UK. Are you still liable for inheritance tax, or is it the estate of the deceased that is liable to pay the inheritance tax. My mother has started wittering on about giving us money now while they are still here, I keep telling her that it is nice of her to offer but she should spend it on herself.

Thanks for the info about wills, we will make one when we get over there.

Nic

[Beach Kiwi]

Yes that is just what I was worried about. I am sure they are all really good people and would do there best for the kids. But IMHO the kids would be much better off with people they knew to support them.



They would only look after them until next-of-kin or some other 'recognised' caregiver came forward to 'claim' them. CYFs doesn't want to have them in their care for any longer than is necessary.

[isv]

Thanks v. much for that info Alan... :nice1 We are closing down our UK company at the moment and the UK IR are aware of our circumstances from that point of view, however I assume for personal IR scenarios we'll need to inform a different dept. Much food for thought.. thanks.

Neurotic plonkers? Hell no... just amazingly caring parents... v. interesting as a non-mum reading all your thoughts and what goes on in mothers' heads. I worry about my family back home in much the same way but without the huge responsibilities of being a mum.

Moorf,

You should have completed a 'P85' form when you left the UK... ??? You should be able to do this retrospectively.

BTW - if winding-up your business pay special attention to Capital Gains Tax implications - although NZ does not have CGT you will still be liable for UK CGT on assets you held before you left - but it is possible to get around this.

Alan.