[K1W1]

Hi All
I have not been into this forum for quite some time. I decided though it is most likely the best place to get some advice from those desperate to get here like we were.
We have been here for in Auckland for 18 months now. We are really at rock bottom and would love a few words from those still in the UK to remind us why we are here. We work so hard and have an average mortgage. We live like paupers though and have done since the start. We are constantly having to say no to the children and cant afford the most simple things here. We are in a position here we have no more room for debt and a toothache could mean us having to sell our home as the dentist bill would break us. We came here for a better life and yes the scenery is great and the kids are safer but everything else is far worse. We have not made any friends here and the people we were close to in the UK never call and the emails are few and far between. We both feel very lonely and desperate. We cant even afford to go back to England if we decided to. We have 2 school age children who are happy but I cant help but feel guilty at promising them a better life and now I have to say no to something as small as an ice cream.
We feel we have run out of fight and have lost sight of what we are fighting for.
Hope you can remind us of why we left in the first place. Thanks

[Carol]

Hi K1W1


I'm not in the UK but I have been where you are so many times since coming here.

Where are you in Auckland?

Is it at all possible that you could possibly move - by that I mean jobs - to another part of the country? Auckland really is an expensive place to live.

When I get like this I read the newspapers on-line to remind myself why I am here.

I am here for my children.
And if I am honest there is no other reason - because I still miss my family so much.

I know in my heart we are in the right place for them - but it can be so hard when you are struggling from pay to pay.
We were there when we first arrived - and until I went back to work full time we were constantly broke each month.

I dont have any answers for you at all.............sorry -
It is so hard when you are on "your own" and worse when you have no money in that situation.


Carol

[eric_amanda]

Oh K1w1 I really feel for you. For the first time in the over six months we have been here I am begining to get a little jittery and homesick. I am begining to miss some close friends and family and the support network. We have three preschool children and I can feel myself begining to resent staying at home with them. I love them all dearly but I would just love a couple of hours to myself once in a while.

I am also begining to feel that financially we are so worse off. We have a lovely home here and we would never find anything so wonderful back in England. But I am really having to watch what I am spending. I have had no new clothes since arriving here, neither has Eric, we can barely afford a takeaway once a month, unlike in the UK where we would have one every week. I can feel myself assessing how much alcohol we are consuming.

I had a look on the cost of living calculator today and worked out that we need to be earning at least $20,00 pa more than we are now earning to have a half decent life and that was not really taking into consideration holidays and general entertainment!

Right now I too could do with a reminder as to why we left.

Amanda

[K1W1]

We are in South Auckland, the cheapest part!! We both work full time and have thought about moving maybe out to Hamilton or something but I dont want to unsettle the children again. We were living on the North Shore until 6 months ago but moved to improve the finances, but we have had a run of car trouble and my hubby had to have a filling before xmas ($470!!!!) so things are even worse. It would mean the 4th new school in NZ for my eldest and the 3rd for my younger son.

[veronica]

Drizzle, grey days, illegal immigrants, vandals, football hooligans, muggings, unemployment, huge heating bills, inner city drug culture, crowds, traffic jams, violence, bludgers.

Will add more as I think of them.

(there are obviously plusses too but this is not what its about)

[Ria]

Dear K1W1, starting over in a new country with no family and friends must be the hardest thing in the world. Feeling even worse because you think you're lives aren't financially as good (even though the quality/security etc is) doesn't help either.

First thing is - don't beat yourself up about it. If you take the relatives/friends bit out of the equation - are your children happy in NZ? If yes, then that's a big plus to you for putting their happiness first. Every parent wants to give their child all they can (within reason) but I bet that the thing your children most want is for you to be happy. Money really isn't that important to them.

Secondly, and how do you say this without sounding terrible - friends (or the lack of them). We all need someone to talk to. There was an Auckland meet up of forum members at the start of Feb, I think. Did you go? If not, the next time, you must. Many forum members here and in NZ know the importance of support and connections, and seem only too willing to ride to the rescue of someone feeling blue - as we all know that at some point we will be there ourselves.

Asking for help and admitting you have a problem is the first step. I'm sure you're going to be inundated with offers of friendliness from all the forum members in and around Auckland. What about trying to organise something yourself? It's a bit like going to a wedding/party, generally no-one wants to be the first/only person on the dance floor. But hey - what's the worst that can happen (as the Dr Pepper ad goes)? And I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

We are all here for each other. Initially I wasn't going to post anything, as I wondered how I could possibly help, so far away. I'm not going to tell you how terrible the UK is and NZ isn't - because I don't really know both sides myself yet. But I think talking really helps. Knowing you're not the first and definitely won't be the last to feel like this, shows that you're normal - and hearing how others got through shows it can be done. The things we really want, don't come easy, but maybe we appreciate them all the more because we worked damn hard to get them.

I hope my silly ramblings have helped a little. And post as much as you want. There's always someone here to listen. :nice1

Take care

Ria

[annaerb]

Hello K1W1,

Where in Sth Akl are you? My Family live in sth Akl and I'm not far from there.
I'm a K1W1 and if you feel like a chat or go for a coffee, then email.

Keep your chin up

Carol :P

[Paul and Linda]

Hi K1W1,

Just to let you know that we have been in this situation in England. It lasted a long time (waiting for the kids to grow up so that we could both work) but we had each other and for all the "suffering" that we went through it was more than worth it just to be a family.

If your life in NZ is what you want as a family, then things will pick up.

They allways do when you feel at your lowest because it will probably spur you on to make some difficult choices, and you will triumph, even though you have made sacrifices.

We all make sacrifices, but if they are the right ones, then they are things that we feel we can do without in order to gain or retain what we truly need.

If you have the things you truly need in life then you are a lucky person.

In the end all things will be well.

Paul

[Diny]

Hi K1W1

I'm not saying that I'm a particularly hard person, but I often read the 'downer' posts without really taking too much on board. However, just read yours and I have to admit I'm really touched by your plight. Your honesty and frankness are refreshing.

We're still in the UK so can't offer any actual hands on help, but maybe a few well meant words and the offer of a shoulder will help.

First of all the lonely issue. There's plenty of forum members in and around Auckland and I know that they'd be up for abit of a social gathering. I know finances are an issue, but maybe arrange to meet them in a local park - take a picnic maybe? Then you won't have to be paying out for a lunch. Have you read any of the postings by Lindajax? Her and Ali arrived there at the beginning of the year. I actually know Linda (from a couple of forum meetings here in UK before she left). She's very level headed and great to talk to. I'm going to take the liberty of sending her a PM and ask her to contact you (so check your PM inbox) ...... even if you just have a friendly voice at the end of the phone it may help.

As for the money side of things. I know you mention not wanting to move your kids again to another school, but youngsters are pretty tough (far more so than we give them credit for). They must be aware of how unhappy you are. I may be suggesting the obvious here, but have you actually sat down as a family and discussed the situation? If it meant a much happier mum & dad and the cash for an occasional treat and more all round harmony, maybe they wouldn't worry about moving school again. I know south Auckland is the less expensive part of the city, but there's still a darn site cheaper places to live.

Basically ..... I'm a great believer that drastic times ask for drastic measures. However - not so drastic as to come back to the UK just yet. It's easy for me to say sitting here (wait until we arrive ..... I'll be wollowing and bleating like an idiot probably) .... but giving it more time IMHO is the best thing to do.

As for reasons not to return to the UK. This is a difficult one for me 'cos I get aggrivated by the way some folk constantly appear to bash the UK just to justify their decisions to leave. However - like Veronica said, this thread is not about that, it's about the negative things regarding this country. So .............. dole bludgers, President Tony Blair, unmarried teenage dole bludging parasite single parents (aka Vicky Pollard types), the pollution in the towns and cities, the way the criminal is protected and the victim forgotten, too many perverts allowed back into the community so we worry more about our kids, more dole bludgers, thousands upon thousands of immigrants, green belt land being sold for building, EU quotas putting our farmers out of business, sit on your ass and get paid, work hard and get penalised, the labour party, spotty youths in white baseball caps driving clapped out Nova's, council tax (way too high), did I mention dole bludgers? Public money being spent on some trash modern art sculpture entitled 'smiting the rock' while the hospital waiting lists are getting longer and longer due to under funding.

I could go on. I always maintain there are good and bad sides to everywhere in the world. When you're feeling down or homesick, your emotions do tend to mask certain things from your memory.

One thing that you really should know though (not that this will help much) ..... I bet I know dozens of people who envy you and would swap places in the blink of an eye.

Sorry I can't help more than this, just didn't want to ignore your plight. Please feel free to send me PM at any time and never worry about 'venting your spleen' on the forum, that's what it's here for. The more you read the postings and add to them I'm sure you'll realise that alot of people are going through the same as you.

Chin up ..... all the best.

Diny

[Mildred]

Sorry things aren't too good at the moment. Had lots to say, but Diny has beaten me to it.

Keep your chin up

[leslie]

if your kids are happy you've done something very right. see your point about changing schools. tough choice.

try to compare apples with apples. if you were setting up in the uk there would probably be no take-aways either. try to remember what it was like when you first set up here. sounds like you could have used more funding behind you when you left but thats spilt milk. and, as they say, there is no time like the present!

when you are unhappy its 100% more diff to meet people as you are out of your own skin. i've been in london for 20 years on/off (3 this time) and haven't made a single friend i'll really miss. i wont get started on what you've left behind because i just dont want think negatives. consult bbc.co.uk any day, anytime. that should do it. 18 months is not long - esp ifyou moved several times. give yourself a breather and a pat on the back.

[freeflyer]

Hi k1w1
Not sure where your from in the uk but I found that this link to traffic cameras really helped to remind me what morning rush hours are like :laugh

http://www.bbc.co.uk/england/webcams/traffic.shtml

[sarahw]

Hi K1W1

I'm afraid I can't offer too much advice, but if you are considering moving somewhere cheaper & are worried about the kids.... my parents moved around quite a bit for my Dad's job when we were small - we made 3 major moves (all in the UK) before I was 7 years old. I still have friends from where I was born (who are my closest friends & always will be) because we were encouraged to keep in touch. It didn't have any adverse effects on us, and if anything, it made me not scared to travel when I was in my early 20's and not scared to move here now. Now I really admire my parents for making a move that really was aimed at a better life for us kids & we did have that better life and more opportunities. I know its a worry moving with kids, but some things are for the best & if it means you can give them a better life because of it then they're going to be happier in the end...

I hope that helps a little. I'm afraid I'm down in Welly so can't meet up with you but if you fancy an online chat then please feel free to PM me.

[leslie]

re. my comment about giving yourselves a bit more time to settle in...

in holland they used to/ still do??? give you some sort of 3 year tax amnesty because the sensible dutch think it takes 3 years to recover/ stabilise and they want to make it happen.

am guessing our first 3 years will be a shock no maatter how much liquid we bring.

[ruthyroo]

Sorry to hear you are finding it tough, we had quite a few 'why did we do this' moments when we arrived mostly due to work stress. Financial stress can make everything seem very bleak indeed. My only advice is philosophical rather than practical: nothing is permanent. One way or the other you won't always be in the place you are at present. Time has this habit of moving on, and things change with it. Whether things change for better or worse is another thing entirely! The other thigns to remember is that you do have choices, always remember that. You are not bound by chains to stay in Auckland, or even in NZ. When DH and I hit one of these patches, we tend to talk and plan our way out of it. it gives us some goals to aim for, and a future to look forward to that distracts us from the rather crappy present. e.g. DH job is an absolute nightmare. So we are planning exactly how long he will stay at it, where he would rather be, putting out feelers for a job elsewhere, and how we can fit that with my work. It doesn't make these things happen but sometimes planning your attack on life / out of a hole can be enough to lift your mood.

BTW my parents never bought me ice cream except once in a blue moon - I appreciated it all the more when I got it!! Your kids are happy - that's a big bonus.

[ruthyroo]

BTW have to say in the UK's defence that NZ has all the negatives mentioned as well!! Maybe they aren't in your face as much, but they are there.

[Moorf]

I would add that the idea is to want to be in NZ, and not just NOT want to be in the UK :nice1 if that makes sense. I also think that being in Chch does shield us from some of the more noticeable negatives of NZ's bigger cities.

[StevieD]

I can't really add to all of the comments before mine, but suffice to say, I live in Blairs Britain, and I am in the same boat as you. Only today I had to refuse the kids ice cream( it was b****y freezing too, but that's kids) coz I only had 30p in my pocket. I work very hard, extremely long hours for little pay. My wife works part time but is desperately unhappy in that work, so she is having an interview for another job tomorrow!
So yes, there are major hardships in this country too!

I do not want to go Brit Bashing again, but Diny seems to have covered some of the things! I'm sure I could think of a few more.
Maybe it is because our familiar surroundings are being abused and we feel that we are helpless, because politicians won't listen to the people's wishes, that makes us so dissatisfied. We all have our reasons for wanting to chase a better life. You had the courage to do it and we applaud you.

There is nothing worse than being alone and isolated. Mixing with others will no doubt help, shoulder to cry on and all that. We have been there, still are and it is very hard. But things will get better for you.

The last few years have been very hard for us as a family, but we survived by hard work and patience. We still have a lot of problems but as a family unit we are stronger. Work hard and you will get out of that rut I promise you. We are all behind you!


Good luck, saying a prayer for you. God bless

Steve

[Diny]

Well said Steve. Damn good post :nice1

Diny

[StevieD]

Thanks Diny! Just come back on for a quick look see. Kiwi has a point.
I am worried that we will end up the same, because we won't be going out with lots of money, but hopefully we'll get by. We are leaving behind our support network (well, Jans mum!) and our few close friends. But as one door closes, so another opens.

For kiwis benefit, I was listening to the news on the radio before about the amount of ASBO's (anit social behaviour orders) that have been issued this year for yobbish behaviour in the UK. It seems that these said yobs are ignoring them in lots of cases, and the true number of anti social events this year has been calculated as being in the region of 24 MILLION offences!!! That is one heck of a lot of disorder :no
I'm sure NZ has it's probs, like all places, coz it is human nature to cause problems. But we mustn't lose sight of why we wanted to be in the place in the first instance. It helps if you take a step back and retrace your initial steps to clear the mists.

Good luck kiwi, time for bed here. You going to get one big prayer to the guy upstairs in a few mins so expect to feel better soon! (p.s I am not a member of any religious order or likely to frequent doorsteps selling the Watchtower :laugh ) :nice1 :nice1 :nice1 :angel :angel

Steve

[K1W1]

Thank you so much for all your replies they have given us a little more strength.
My car broke down last night and it looks as if it is the Cam belt. Big money to fix and cost $50 for a tow. So things can get worse apparently!
One thing I didnt mention in my original post is that we were actually quite comfortable in the Uk financially. Not that we were rich but we could afford Cd's and takeaways when we wanted them. We had worked our way out of being on benefits for 4 years while my hubby completed his £60 a week apprenticeship. So I guess it is like going back to how we lived then except we knew his wages would improve after the training was done. I also worked about 3 minutes from home so no traffic worries, I now sit on Route 1 for up to 1 1/2 hours in the mornings as I work in the city centre. We did research wages and cost of living here but I guess we looked in the wrong places. I know deep down that if we had not of come here we would be wishing we had so I dont regret it.
I think I could cope with the money issue if we had our mates around us and visa versa, I could cope with not having many mates if we had the money to go out and have fun.
Well we are still trying to laugh at our bad luck as we will both end up in the loony bin otherwise!! :laugh

Thanks again for all your replys they have really moved me. It is so comforting to know people care who have never met you.

[Gran]

Hi K1W1,
I sympathise too, have you thought about looking around for a jobs that pay a bit better, I know that the first job that you grab when you get here is not allways the best or the best paying. it would be worth having a look.

All the best
Gran

[lindajax]

Oh K1w1,

All those emotions..... rollercoaster .... understatement I bet.

I agree with a lot of posts before me and having just come from the UK ( 2nd Jan) its really crap there.

I, like you had good friends back there and fortunately do keep in touch.... I think in 18months time though we won't be corresponding as much as now... thats only natural I think?

I have only a couple of friends here - well sort of friends no close friends to REALLY talk to. Ali and I are friendly with anoth forum couple and thats good support.

It is sooooo hard when you feel lonely - last week was a bad one for me I missed my friends etc and had a busy week at work etcetcetc.

I realise that I did this for the better opportunities Lucy would have. Fortunately .. bothe Ali and I have landed on our feet so to speak and have good jobs with reasonable pay... However we are renting so I suppose thats not a true representation of what i'tll be like when we get a mortgage.

I would love some contact... girlie chats.. family get togethers etc... we are always up for anything.
We try to find the free events etc and take picnics etc and surprisingly enough we have had great days out.

Please by all means get in touch --- i love gabbin me!

Any support we can offer would be offered genuinely and not be an empty gesture please contact us if you want to... I'll pm you with details of our phone number etc.

Hang on in there-- nothing is forever and as you said it can only get better now so fingers crossed you'll be back on the up in no time at all.

Love
Linda xxx

[Danpoll]

This is a situation that is due for all of us to come over and been experienced by those allready there. They say home sickness develops from month 3, when the honeymoon period ends. Others have posted that is called homesickness due to the physical sickness it causes. You will be pining for home, your subconscious will be undermined by emotion you will start to believe that blair is a good man and things were never as dark as you thought. You then have to cite back to why you left in the first place. Youre freinds and family will be enveous of you and the beautifull country in which you live. You say you don't wish to keep moving the children and as Diny states with their resilliance they will be fine. I would imagine that you are worried and stressed at the moment something which the kids will pick up on. Auckland by all accounts is very expensive and Auck and highway 1 could be the root of the problem. Can that be changed. I must admit that us migrants are a strange bunch, we deliberatley self harm our minds put ourselfs under enourmous pressure and do things that defy rationale by the ordinary man, and for what gain?
Probably because we were not happy with an element of our old lives so being the sado massichists we are we said sod it were off. Thats the difference between us and the comman man. I think that if you did leave nz you would be very miserable about it and then to arrive back here you would be depressed.

this time will pass

So when I am over there and post a similar sort of message be sure to remind me of this.

Best wishes

Dan

[Diny]

So when I am over there and post a similar sort of message be sure to remind me of this.


Oh God - yeah me too. I have no illusions that this will be easy. But it will be well worth it.

Diny

[StevieD]

Well said Danpoll - I am used to being away from home having worked at sea in the past and as a radio engineer travelling around the country.

But being separated, having that link almost permanently broken, is a hard mental hurdle to overcome.

Stick with it and you become a stronger, better person. I'm sure we all go/will go through it at some time. But as I have said before we have to overcome these trials, it is part of living.

Comments about comparing Britain and NZ are natural, after all the grass is always greener. I just know that I am desperately unhappy here, and feel that my only salvation is to leave the country of my birth, for a FRESH start in life. We are only on this earth for a very short space of time, what we do with it is up to us. I want to give my children a fighting chance away from the bad things I see daily. Listen to the BBC as one person said, and just take in the reports about the problems, and the SCALE of them, that UK has.... it is quite frightening!

Steve

[leslie]

moorf is right re. go somewhere because you WANT to be there. if you love where you are it makes things so much better. if you compromise everything is that much harder.

interesting feature in independent (?) this week... a london journo who took his small family to india to smooth life crisis. they love it (loved it for years tho), are 300 x happier and its cheap. he wants to make it sustainable. he talks through the reasons why he felt if they stayed in london it would have all collapsed, how hard it was etc and how they will cope. thought it was interesting.

my front door has arrived.

[Kim39]

If there was ever a reason then this could just do it for you..........

Warning Over Rise in Abuse of Hard Drugs


The cocaine and crack culture in England and Wales has reached record levels, according to Government figures.

And the United Nations' drugs watchdog has warned that the UK had the largest heroin seizure rate in Europe and the third highest number of heroin addicts.

Britain also had the highest level of amphetamine abuse anywhere in Europe and the third highest level of Ecstasy abuse, the UN's International Narcotics Control Board report said.

Cocaine abuse was increasing in the UK but had stabilised generally in Europe since 1998, it added.



Afghanistan is the world's biggest producer of poppy-derived opium used to make heroin


Meanwhile, Home Office figures for 2003 revealed that the number of people found guilty of or cautioned for offences involving the two Class A drugs cocaine and crack has topped new highs.

Nearly 7,000 people were dealt with for cocaine offences in 2003, up from fewer than 5,800 the previous year. And crack offences reached 2,260 - up from 1,800 - compared with just 530 in 1997.

The figures also showed that 82,000 people were found guilty of or cautioned for cannabis offences in 2003 - the highest number for five years.

The total number of drug offences increased by five per cent to 133,970, with Class A offences rising six per cent to 35,610 and Class B up by five per cent to 94,520.


Of those, 110,640 people were found guilty or cautioned - nine out of 10 for possession and the rest for dealing.

The UN report said Afghanistan was in danger of becoming a "narcotic state'' after producing its largest annual crop of heroin since the overthrow of the Taliban regime, which had imposed a zero tolerance approach on drug crops.

The country - which is responsible for nearly all the heroin on Britain's streets - grew an estimated 4,200 tons of the drug last year - up 800 tons on 2003.



Today
Outbreaks of sleet and snow for south-eastern parts of the UK today. Scattered wintry showers elsewhere, mainly towards windward coasts in the north, as well as towards the North Sea coasts. Remaining cold.


Click here for full local and world forecasts

....................Oh just thought i'd throw the weather in also.

[jo b]

K1W1,

I am sure we will all experience the rollercoaster of emotianal highs and lows and I am sure the high and lows will be both off the scale for all us migrants.

One thing that I know I need to get my head around is money cannot buy you happiness. My hubby and I both work full time and we have now disposible income we could only dream of.......are we happy? Relatively so yes or I should say I am not unhappy just unfulfilled, why? Because I am filling mine and my childrens life with gadgets and things that are very disposable. Long term will they make us better people :no sadly no. I realise that filling the gaps in our lifes with monetary things won't give my children the inner strength they will need to succeed in life. All it will teach them is greed. My kids are not spoilt, they aren't allowed tv's in their bedroom, mobile phones etc but they are occasionally induldged. I think it is because subconciously I am replacing time I should be spending with them with the latest 'stuff'. The influence their friends have on their 'needs' is amazing.
In NZ all that will change I will not work and yes I want to indulge my children but not with material things but with time spent with them, I want to be the one to influence them not the media or tv.

Stick in there K1W1 induldge your children with other things, treasure the time they have whilst they are young. Things WILL get better because you are concerned and therefore will do something about it.

Take Care and keep us posted.

Jo

[jubjub]

Not much else to add as everyone else has done a good job, but hope you feel a bit brighter soon, and decide what you will do for the best.

Heres a story from our local paper. We live in Scotland and its still snowing up here, and you would expect kids to have fun, snowballs, sledges etc? Well:-

Earlier this week a group of 30-40 teenage kids were throwing snowballs at passing cars, and caused one guy to lose control of his vehicle, he stopped and confronted said kids and got a good kicking for his trouble, a passing stranger also tried to talk to the kids and got the same treatment. No respect for property or others welfare, snowballs are great fun, but this was just malicious.

Could not happen in Auckland (no snow!).

Sal

[leslie]

i really must stop replying to your posts as loads have, and am sure that all will make sense to you and that things will work out and all will be fine.

on your traffic woes tho - i was thinking of you last night. usually walk to pottery class (ok, maybe not my best thing but helps keep me sane) takes less than 10 pleasant minutes - 30 sec if you are a crow. last night weather dreadful and had heavy things to carry so decided to drive. took an hour in which congestion, one way streets no parking etc meant i eventually drove all the back, 10 blocks west of house/ starting point, to go 2 streets north to main road which took me east. when finally lucked into parking space had to walk 2 long blocks away from car/ school to get to meter. by the time i got to class only had time to do something really rubbish and i left ready to mutate.

even in non-peak traffic london is ridiculous to get around. the average primary age child could do better - someone gets paid for this???

[Hannah-NL]

Here in Holland 2 years ago, a kid of 13 throwing snowballs got shot by a guy who got out of his car after they hit his car. Seems he was a drugs criminal who got mad. In turn he got sentenced to 15 years because of manslaugter this january, also because of drug trafficking and possesion of a dangerous arm.

[K1W1]

Hi Again

Just thought I would share some wisdom with you all! I have worked out what my stumbling block is with homesickness. I thought long and hard about why, even though I read the UK news every day & have a good memory, I have lost that desire to be out of England. It is not all the things there that make you angry/unhappy that you forget, it is how they made you feel.
I would suggest that if you were thinking of bringing a few newspapers or something to remind you when you feel down, that you make a point of keeping a diary about how you feel.
The drugs, violence, dole bludgers, traffic, lottery grants for art, illeagal immigrants & murders dont bother you so much when they are not around you anymore and they dont affect you. I would love to have a chat with myself of 2 years ago and see how uptight and downtrodden I was then.
Hope this makes sense.

[veronica]

LOTS, its a good idea to keep it in perspective. And as gran suggested it wouldn't do you any harm to look around to see if there are any better paid or more local jobs, either would surely be a bonus.

[Diny]

Hope this makes sense.

It most certainly does.

Diny

[psh12001]

Hiya Kiwi,
well i couldnt help but reply to your message as we were in that situation that you are in when we first got here, We have been here now 21 months now and the first 6 months or so were like hell. I went off sick and my wages down to 80 % and we were trying to rebuild out lives. now 12 months on from that we have bought our own place and settled really well. Wife has got a part time job at the warehouse on night fill a few night a week and we have just welcomed our 5th child into the world 14 weeks ago. I work as a carpenter and earn $20 an hour and we have a $125,000 morgage. We now seem to have reached a part in our time here where we have replaced almost everthing we sold when we came out from manchester. I have just gone to college at night school to retrain into a new job , with hopefully better money. but we dont go short. we have take aways regular and take the kids to places that dont have to cost the earth.

My point i think is that you are in charge of your own destiny and i think that if you stick your neck out things will get better...
I know exactly why we left the uk and i dont miss it one bit, yes i do miss the friends, but hey i have met some great ones here
wild horses wouldnt get my kids back to the uk and if i had to, i would shovel shit 24/7 to help them stay here...i really believe all the hassel of getting here was worth ever minute and that nz is a far better place to raise children........ we live in the best part of new zealand, chrsitchurch !! and i still have to pinch myself somedays to remind myself im not dreaming.......ask one of your uk family or friends to send you a recent paper over and just read whats happening there...it will scare the life out you !!!
keep positive and it will all turn round for the best..

paul and family

[Timbo]

Nice one Paul. That is probably the most encouraging post about settling in NZ that I have read. Thanks. :nice1

[leslie]

see, you are figuring it out.

[kiwidollie]

That's a prime example of the good that can come from forums like this.

There are times when you need to hear from people who have been, or are going through what you are experiencing yourself.

Well done forumites!! You are brilliant.

:cheers

[Gran]

Blimmin 'ell
I wish we could have had this kind of help when we came over!!!

[NW2NZ]

What a nice crowd! Good on yer :cheers

[joanne]

Yes, friends and family are really great - BUT it is difficult for anyone who hasnt gone through the process to realize just how stressful and frustrating it can be.
This forum is the tops :))))

[Hannah]

Just a note to thank all of you who share experiences such as K1W1's, about the ups and downs of emigration - I've read this forum for over a year now (without plucking up courage to deal with the techno stuff needed to post on it - and i'm still struggling a little as i'm a reluctant email user!!) and I can really say that, without the advice i've picked up along the way, I would be approaching this all so much different, and so less wiser.
Everyone's postings are so genuine and honest, and from the heart. I'm sure others like me still in England would agree that much of this advice and info is invaluable and has shaped our approaches to our future journeys. Without your postings i know i would have sold my house a year ago and just got on a plane - for a number of reasons i know this would have been the wrong thing for our family. i've become a lot more reflective and will walk into this with my eyes at least partly open and my glasses less rose tinted. And for that reason i think it has every chance of working out for me, and i'm sure things will work out for K1W1 and others in the same situation.
A genuine thank you to you all - keep it coming... I hope to help you all some day too with my own experience of how it went for me!
Hannah xx

[kiwidollie]

Yea that goes for me too!

Couldn't do it without ya xxxxx

[Hannah-NL]

So true Hannah (Nice to meet you!) :yes

Other Hannah - NL -across the Channel