[Sarah Jane]

Well I still stand by my thread of finding it hard living in Auckland.
The reading last week of a 6.9% increase in council tax in our local paper here in Rodney district in Auckland is one all Brits understand reading in their local papers. It makes UK seem more like NZ everyday.....and they're talking about bringing in the poll tax (they don't seem to pick up mistakes made in UK too quickly it seems as they are following their trends, 11 cents has gone up on petrol since we've been here (3 months)...... ring any bells? It might be cheap now but who says it will be soon if they keep following UK examples.

But apart from the financial issues of life in Auckland, the life for my children seems very different. My youngest last week as we were driving past her school made the comment (after I commented about how the school was open as there is no fencing around it) that she wondered that in 20 years when NZ was like UK whether they would have fencing round the school as they would need it to stop the children running out. Now she has come from schools in East London, Northants and Devon, and she is only 12. I know that high school fences were introduced in London a few years ago. Not only because there were mindless nutters going around destroying and stealing valuable equipment etc but the schools were governed to provide more security after the shootings and stabbings that went on in London schools.
Now my daughter who is 14 and protested vehemently at wearing a tartan school skirt and brown 'jesus creepers' sandals for school is now walking bearfoot and happy.
She is wearing her big furry boots that were all the fashion in Devon in September, on special occasion.......and is not being ridiculed for this...alternatively the friends she knows loves them. What's even better they are not going out of fashion as they would have done if we had still lived in UK. There seems to be no, or very little brand status or fashion status to our children here unlike the pressures we had in England. I brought my elder children up in the 90's in London and my 14 year old sons trainers and wristwatch were stolen from him when he was walking home from school. I couldn't image that happening here ever as the kids pretty much all have the same ordinary things...no brand names and no expensive belongings. That is a definate improvement to living in the UK unless you live in an area where the average housing is £350,000 plus. Not a league we were in.

So all in all, considering my short living experiences here in Auckland, my warnings are in the topic 'Arrived in Auckland and finding financies hard' and also I think there is important information to be read in the thread 'just back from NZ we've decided against it'.... something that was not on the forum when I was considering the move.
It's very hard to think in a detached way about a new life in NZ. Once you've made a decision to go it's very hard to go back on that. It's a brave person who does go back on that as it's very easy to get swept into the allure of a new life in a new wonderful country. That is why I have given as frank a view as I can give considering I had never been here untill I arrived as a new immigrant on Jan 2nd 2005.

I think as you all know by reading my previous thread there are several problems with living here in Auckland, but I have now posted some positives and there will be more to come I'm sure as I settle into life. The one major issue though would be that if my children go back to UK when 18 ( and both of them have made friends with kiwi kids who are itching to go to UK at 18) then I will follow as I feel NZ is a country for my children but without them here it will not be for me.

[foolsgold99]

Thanks for taking the time to write such an honest view of your life, I really enjoyed (and was a bit scared) by your last thread. I'm glad things are ok for you, I think the first year is difficult.

I'm going to be out in Auckland in 20 days, this kind of stuff is really helpful, so keep it coming.

[kiwidebs]

I agree with Foolsgold on this. Your first post (and subsequent thread) made really scary but eye opening reading. Hubby and I have had in depth discussions on the subject of finances and is this really the best move for us - posts with the negative as well as positive have really helped us to put a more realistic slant on the whole move. I look forward to hearing more about your settling in.


Thanks
Debs

[jan]

Sarah Jane what a good post.

Although it seems that there is still the financial issue circulating you. You seem to have raised a more soothing thread on just how happy you feel that you and yours are adjusting to NZ lifestyle.

I have a 12yr old who when asked how he feels wil reply 'OK' and thats it. I know he is trying to think about what lies ahead, but as he isn't doing as much research as I am, can't visualise it. I will deffo be reading out your post to him. Thanks

Good luck

Jan xx :nice1

[Glenda]

I think as you all know by reading my previous thread there are several problems with living here in Auckland, but I have now posted some positives and there will be more to come I'm sure as I settle into life. The one major issue though would be that if my children go back to UK when 18 ( and both of them have made friends with kiwi kids who are itching to go to UK at 18) then I will follow as I feel NZ is a country for my children but without them here it will not be for me.

Hi Sarah Jane,

Those positives will, I'm sure, come. :yes

It is nice to hear that even older children soon adapt to NZ life. Don't forget that they will feel as much Kiwi as British when they are adults and when they go to the UK to do their OE it is quite possible they will want to go back to NZ later.

I say that from experience - I left NZ at 21 for my OE and to my surprise my parents followed a few months later. They soon wished they had not but could not afford to go back. I was very upset, to say the least. We did not speak for years. I now have to apply anew with my family to go 'home' as I did not get citizenship. And guess what ... my parents want to go back to NZ when I do get my citizenship. :roll: :laugh

Your children are making their own lives, friends etc. and you will too, though it may be a bit slower. Hang on in there. :smile

[lollypop]

Well I still stand by my thread of finding it hard living in Auckland.
The reading last week of a 6.9% increase in council tax in our local paper here in Rodney district in Auckland is one all Brits understand reading in their local papers. It makes UK seem more like NZ everyday.....and they're talking about bringing in the poll tax (they don't seem to pick up mistakes made in UK too quickly it seems as they are following their trends, 11 cents has gone up on petrol since we've been here (3 months)...... ring any bells? It might be cheap now but who says it will be soon if they keep following UK examples.

But apart from the financial issues of life in Auckland, the life for my children seems very different. My youngest last week as we were driving past her school made the comment (after I commented about how the school was open as there is no fencing around it) that she wondered that in 20 years when NZ was like UK whether they would have fencing round the school as they would need it to stop the children running out. Now she has come from schools in East London, Northants and Devon, and she is only 12. I know that high school fences were introduced in London a few years ago. Not only because there were mindless nutters going around destroying and stealing valuable equipment etc but the schools were governed to provide more security after the shootings and stabbings that went on in London schools.
Now my daughter who is 14 and protested vehemently at wearing a tartan school skirt and brown 'jesus creepers' sandals for school is now walking bearfoot and happy.
She is wearing her big furry boots that were all the fashion in Devon in September, on special occasion.......and is not being ridiculed for this...alternatively the friends she knows loves them. What's even better they are not going out of fashion as they would have done if we had still lived in UK. There seems to be no, or very little brand status or fashion status to our children here unlike the pressures we had in England. I brought my elder children up in the 90's in London and my 14 year old sons trainers and wristwatch were stolen from him when he was walking home from school. I couldn't image that happening here ever as the kids pretty much all have the same ordinary things...no brand names and no expensive belongings. That is a definate improvement to living in the UK unless you live in an area where the average housing is £350,000 plus. Not a league we were in. What do you mean by this?
So all in all, considering my short living experiences here in Auckland, my warnings are in the topic 'Arrived in Auckland and finding financies hard' and also I think there is important information to be read in the thread 'just back from NZ we've decided against it'.... something that was not on the forum when I was considering the move.
It's very hard to think in a detached way about a new life in NZ. Once you've made a decision to go it's very hard to go back on that. It's a brave person who does go back on that as it's very easy to get swept into the allure of a new life in a new wonderful country. That is why I have given as frank a view as I can give considering I had never been here untill I arrived as a new immigrant on Jan 2nd 2005.

I think as you all know by reading my previous thread there are several problems with living here in Auckland, but I have now posted some positives and there will be more to come I'm sure as I settle into life. The one major issue though would be that if my children go back to UK when 18 ( and both of them have made friends with kiwi kids who are itching to go to UK at 18) then I will follow as I feel NZ is a country for my children but without them here it will not be for me.

[lollypop]

OOps sorry I seem to have messed up here!

[Soon2baKiwi]

Sarah, it's really good to see that even though you've had problems you're still positive. You've a great attitude and I'm sure everything will come good. I'd endorse what Glenda says too, again from personal experience. I moved from London for my son but then he went off to college and is himself leaving the country when he's finished in June. If we weren't going to NZ we'd just be sitting here twidling our thumbs waiting for him to come and visit. That's a bit of an exaggeration but the fact remains that kids have to live their own lives just as we're living ours and we don't know where they're going to end up. Yours could go to the UK and then decide they want to go to Australia or Canada or even back to NZ. They might feel they couldn't do that if you had come back to the UK too. All any of us can do is ensure they have 'home' to come back to when they're ready. This of course is just how it is in my family and there may be all sorts of variables and other reasons why you'd want to come back in time. Whatever happens, I hope the next few years are great for you.

[Sarah Jane]

I have a 12yr old who when asked how he feels wil reply 'OK' and thats it. I know he is trying to think about what lies ahead, but as he isn't doing as much research as I am, can't visualise it. I will deffo be reading out your post to him. Thanks

Good luck

Jan xx :nice1

Thanks to all for good luck wishes...

and to Jan, I'm glad that you feel my post will help get some of the benefits across to your 12 year old. I tried a lot to get my 2 girls involved to learn about what life would be like once we moved to NZ, but I agree that it's difficult as neither of mine ever said much about the prospect.
My 14 year old at one time actually tried to stay behind by getting one of her friends parents to say they'd take her in, but we did't take it too seriously as that idea was forgotten almost as quickly as it was thought up.

Once we got here she just wanted to spend time chatting on msn to old friends in UK which was understandable as she had no friends to hang about with. She didn't really want to do much else. After 4 weeks of being here it was time for the children to start school which I was glad about because both girls would then be able to make friends. My 12 year old did virtually from day 1 at school but the 14 year old apparently didn't.
Then during the second week of the school term we were surprised to receive a telephone call from the British High Commission in Wellington. They had been contacted by a concerned parent who had been shown an email my 14 year old had sent to her daughter which read virtually like a suicide note. Hence the High Commissions concern.

Well you can imagine what we went through after that call, it was such a shock as there had been no signs of her feeling that miserable at her new school....she was just a little quiet. It also made me feel such a terrible mother....that I had dragged my child into a situation that made her feel so bad. It was obviously a time for great discussion as to what we were going to do.
We were virtually planned to go back to UK, but interestingly my 12 year old who had only lived here for 6 weeks did not want to go back to the UK. She was gloriously happy, she was able to wear her glasses to school and not get ridiculed (she barely wore them in her previously because of the jibes), nobody made remarks on her ginger hair and freckles. Nobody taunted her about how small she was (she really is tiny and wears clothes to fit a 9 year old). She was happy that she could really be herself. She had lots of friends and had settled into the kiwi barefoot lifestyle.

With lots of discussion, and help from a good family friend in UK we eventually came up with the promise that if our 14 year old was no happier within 6 months of our arrival here then we would return to the UK, but that she had to put a little effort into trying to settle. The school that she went to also had a councelor as they were used to dealing with homesick children as they have a lot of asian students attending who come over to learn English, so she started to have meetings with her too
.
The next couple of weeks were extremely tense for us as a family as you can imagine. She made big dramas out the tiniest things like not being able to wear her nose stud at school and this rule was "stupid". Her uniform was "ugly" etc etc. But then slowly we began to see the change in her. She started to mention other girls names...even though she still insisted she had no friends here.

Then eventually the wonderful day came when she asked if she could go to Waiwera thermal pools as the school were organising a disco/ bbq evening there for the students, and a girl called Shelby had asked her to go. That was at the end of February. Now, only 3 months after her arrival in NZ she has been to several sleepovers. Had friends staying over here. In fact over the Easter weekend we barely saw her. She was popping in and out and always surrounded by at least 5 other people. And I can't remember when she last mentioned her nose stud, or in fact when she last complained about anything (apart from the mosquito bites she keeps getting).
She appears to have more friends now than she had back in the UK.

Another thing that amazed me was that we had a Telecom offer a couple of weeks back where we could telephone the UK all weekend for only $10, so we thought great we'll have some of that and the kids would be able to chat to their old friends as much as they like. Our 12 year old took advantage and called 2 of her old friends. Me and my husband had good long chats to family and friends. As for my 14 year old, she "couldn't be bothered", she was too busy arranging yet another sleepover at her friend Sarahs house.

So there you go...we didn't need the 6 months at all. And the whole point of this post is for anyone bringing over older children it can be hard, damned hard, but as long as you have a good support network I believe they will settle and be happier in their new life.

[Carol]

The one major issue though would be that if my children go back to UK when 18 ( and both of them have made friends with kiwi kids who are itching to go to UK at 18) then I will follow as I feel NZ is a country for my children but without them here it will not be for me.



This is exactly how I feel too Sarah.
However........

I have a different scenario in that I have a 16 year old and a 13 year old then a 6 year old.
Taking her back to England aged 10 having had a kiwi upbringing would be too traumatic for her.
So I may have to let them go for a while...............trust my brother (who they would stay with hopefully) and hope they come back.
Ironic isnt it - that we came for them - and it's almost certain they WILL go back........for a while.
C

[Diny]

Oh thanks alot Sarah Jane. 7.15 in the morning and already I'm blubbing !!!!! Just read your wonderful post and (although all of it is brilliant) this bit jumped out at me:

nobody made remarks on her ginger hair and freckles

My 2 boys have red hair. The youngest is actually quite fair (try telling a 7 year old 'little man' that he has strawberry blonde hair :eek ) and as he gets older it gets lighter. My eldest boy Fergie has very red hair. He hates it. Kids can be so cruel and they chant some very hurtful 'ditties and poems' to him. Can you imagaine how I felt a while back when I was pulling his leg about liking the girls at school when he simply told me that he'd never get a girlfriend 'cos he has ginger hair and freckles. OK - he's only 9 and girlfriends should be the last thing on his mind. But surely concerns about how he looks should be the last thing on his mind too.

I can't wait to show him your posting, he'll be so happy. One of his worries about his new school is whether he'll make any mates because of his hair colour.

Might I add, as a kid I can understand that he hates his hair, but from a 41 year olds point of view, I see alot of people paying alot of money to get that colour. What a strange world we live in.

Diny

[Carol]

Diny - my man has the gingeriest hair ever.


He tells me it's because he played out in the rain so much when he was a kid and it went rusty........ ;)


ANYway.......

Yes Kids are horrible.
I know......I have 26 of them to contend with every day.

And in my 9 years of teaching - I cant remember one incident of name calling because of ginger hair.
Never thought about it until now.......

[Diny]

my man has the gingeriest hair ever.


Well mine DID have very ginger hair. But what's left of it is now kinda greyish :laugh :laugh :laugh

Diny

[Carol]

I wont let him grow a beard anymore though Diny........it's most definitely white.

yuk.
:eek :exit

Really strange - none of the kids are ginger.......but if you have a good rake through their hair (as only mothers can do!!) you can see some VERY obviously red coloured highlights....


As you say - some of us pay a fortune for those sort of things!
:laugh :laugh :laugh

[GeorgeM]

I have a 12yr old who when asked how he feels wil reply 'OK' and thats it. I know he is trying to think about what lies ahead, but as he isn't doing as much research as I am, can't visualise it. I will deffo be reading out your post to him.

One thing he should prepare himself for is (probably) having to wear short pants to school - very common for schools not to have a long trousers option, even in the winter. And the policy goes through to when they leave at 18!

On the first day of term last year we passed a family group who were just leaving for school, two teenage boys and a girl. The boys were posing rather dramatically for photos and having a good laugh about it - we assumed that they were new immigrants who were off to school in shorts for the first time since they were about 6 and producing some evidence to send to their friends back home.

On settling in / missing friends - we arrived in Aug 2002 and intended to give our two (girls) a few weeks to settle in - it was about three weeks to the September 2 week break - and send them to school at the start of term 4. In the UK they were very keen on the idea of such a long summer holiday (they had finished in early July), but within days of arriving in Chch they almost begged us to let them start school!!

At first they messaged, texted and emailed UK friends, and made good use of the $6 for 2 hours off peak rate to the UK, but in a very short time this dropped off as they became busy with local activities and new NZ friends.

Settling in takes time, but in many ways can be much easier for children. On their first day at school they are thrown together with 30 or so potential instant friends. Some find it difficult to mix for whatever reason, but most seem to thrive. But this would be the same if you moved from Wigan to Bristol. When I was growing up in Leicestershire Coventry seemed like the other side of the world to me when my best friend moved there...

[Carol]

One thing he should prepare himself for is (probably) having to wear short pants to school - very common for schools not to have a long trousers option, even in the winter. And the policy goes through to when they leave at 18!

.


Gosh - I'd forgotton all about how funny I found that when we first arrived here in June 1996.
he sight of High School kids in short grey pants all the year round just made me laugh.

My youngest son has just started at High School (College) and it never even crossed my mind about it looking strange........the only thing that hit home was the price of the things!!! $45 a pair!!!!!

:eek

[Jo and Andy]

Sarah,

Thank you for your wonderful post, I appreciate hearing the positive and negatives of moving, as I think it will hopefully even out some of the pitfalls.

Within this thread you have had me nearly blubbing twice, but I am so glad to hear that all is well

I know my daughter will settle in well, (fingers crossed), but is a little worried as at her school she has seen new kids arrive and have difficulty making friends. Then if were were not moving to NZ, I definately feel we would be moving house, so she would have to go through that anyway.

My Brother in law is from NZ, born UK, parents moved to NZ, came back to UK, then decided it was the wrong move again and have settled in NZ for good. Both their kids went on the OE and settled in Europe, one in Germany and one in UK (my brother in law). His sister in Germany moved back with her family to NZ, and my brother in law intends to move back, but says that financially at the moment they are better here.

As the kids get older you will be more settled, and you may not want to follow them, as they will probably come home to you wherever you are.

Keep us posted on how everything is going. What to stock up on before we come etc.

But I am so glad you are all feeling more settled.

Jo

[wayne]

Hey Diny I have (had) brownish hair my wife is blond and both our boys have ginger hair ..... and they hate it :P :P :P my youngest now dyes his hair black and the eldest very short and blond,,,,,, Me Id just be grateful for hair whatever colour :mrgreen: