[us3innz]

Hi

We have been in NZ for nearly 18 months. For the last few months we have been feeling a bit unsettled. We both realise that where we are now (Blenheim) is not where we want to be, it's a nice place but a little quiet.
So we have been thinking about Hawkes Bay (due to OH work) as there seems to be a larger population and maybe more going on etc(honest opinions on Hawkes Bay welcomed!! via this thread or PM).

I am still trying to work out whether we are feeling unsettled and a bit homesick due to the area we are in now. We miss family as anyone does and feel we don't quite 'belong' in NZ yet, like we did in the uk.

Has anyone lived in one area, felt homesick/ missed family, then moved to another area and settled better? My head is all over the place at the mo, half the time i am thinking to def give it a go in another area, and the other half that moving back to the uk may be the answer.

Would love to hear anyone's experiences! Sorry for the confused thread but this is the inside of my brain at the moment!! And i have a cold!!:wah

[dusk]

Hello, soprry to hear things aren't working out for you at the mo.

I definitely think it's worth trying another bit of NZ before you consider the long trek back to the UK.

As you say, if you're finding Blenheim too quiet for you then it's worth trying out somewhere a bit more populous and perhaps a bit more lively/cultural/cosmopolitan (delete as appropriate for you).

It's understandable to miss people, especially so if you've had trouble making a new social circle in a quiet location, if you're not totally convinced that going back to the UK is right for you then I think it's worth giving a new palce in NZ a go :)

[dharder]

I keep wondering that, too, but have somewhat decided it would be too much like changing deckchairs on the Titanic...

Everyone we meet in Auckland keeps telling us we live in the wrong place, but I really cannot be bothered with a move (it is moving six people for us) to only find out it is all the same since the issue wasn't the suburb but really the country.

I realise it is a bit of a catch, as I keep thinking we'll stick it out here until our trial period is over and then move back because I really don't like it here, whereas maybe I wouldn't want to move back if we lived somewhere else in Auckland (not likely, but who knows).

I'd look at how much upheaval it would mean, if you can swing it financially, and if you have anything significant to loose by moving within NZ. If you don't, why not give it a try, you could always move back after that :)

Good luck,

Daniela

[willsken]

I live in a small town in Hawke's Bay and by the sound of your post, not the right kind of place for you. Napier maybe the answer. Loads going on and a beautiful place as well. I love Napier!! The weathers great here to! :nice1

[Tia Maria]

I actually think that flexibility, (due to attitude and circumstances), is more important than time spent in NZ in terms of making a successful go of things.

I cannot emphasize enough how much difference changing to a job you don't hate, or finding a rental that isn't damp, or making friends with a similar outlook or moving to a new area, can make.

People often think they know what they'd like in terms of lifestyle but don't fully understand what they need. For instance, I loved the idea of living in central London near all the clubs, bars etc but once the children appeared, all I did was curse the journey on the tube and feel sad hearing about all my local friends having great night outs. We then moved to the dreaded suburbia, which didn't fit in with my image of me at all but I found myself a lot happier - places were child friendly and local friends also had kids and so we developed a more family orientated social life.

I think being honest with ourselves about what will truly make us happy is a tricky one. We have images of the lifestyle we think we want and the reality of our circumstances and personality. Finding the middle ground and understanding whether we are being influenced by outside factors or internal ones takes some time.

We thought about moving on at one point, so we made a list of all the more positive things the new area could offer us. We then looked honestly at our energy and stress levels and decided it would be too much. So then worked on improving our current situation and we are now more settled.

I would say if the new area offers you a lot more advantages than your current one and if you feel you can't improve on your current situation and you have the energy and finances to do it - then move. Very few people step off the plane and get the right job, house, school, area etc straight away and a lot of tweaking needs to be done until you can feel settled.

One thing I would say is be aware of 'itchy feet-itus', some people (myself included), like change for the sake of change. It always feels nice to have something new and the vague concept of something different is always going to look better than the current day to day reality.

But if there are tangible improvements - higher salary, walk to work, nearer to countryside etc then go for it as ultimately its those that are flexible that will manage to carve out the best life here.

Cheers

Tia

[Silverwing86]

Great post Tia :nice1 !

Wanted to give you rep, but need to spread it around a little before I can rep you again :D, so posted this instead.

:clap:clap

Cheers,
Silver

[JandM]

I cannot emphasize enough how much difference changing to a job you don't hate, or finding a rental that isn't damp, or making friends with a similar outlook or moving to a new area, can make.

People often think they know what they'd like in terms of lifestyle but don't fully understand what they need. I do SO agree with this. What anyone ASSUMES is a really important trigger for them, may not be after all. In the mid-90s, I was extremely unhappy in my job. Though I'd been very content originally, the dissatisfaction had been gradually coming on, due to changes in regulations and (particularly) management. I'd looked at alternatives, but every time, thought I couldn't make the change, because I'd be worse off financially. I thought that maintaining my income was the deal-breaker. In the end, at the point where I felt ILL with unhappiness, I went freelance. I found I was able to economize much less painfully than I'd feared, and working for myself made all the difference.

[broadsword08]

it is of course a cliche'd thing to say and tia is spot on... if you are not content or able to think positively about the core things that define you day to day... job, house, friends and location then you owe it to yourself to be strong and make the appropriate change(s)...

i'd go so far as to say that you need to be really happy in at least two of these to be truly content with your lot and, if you are the main earner, that job must be one of those two

we have all be very brave in making the huge decision to emmigrate to NZ in the first place... so fingers crossed that the strength to make further changes as and when needed remains :o)

[magcats]

we have all be very brave in making the huge decision to emmigrate to NZ in the first place... so fingers crossed that the strength to make further changes as and when needed remains :o)
:clap Well said! Even though I haven't yet made the move, I am constantly and continuously in awe of everyone who has. I hope you find a place of contentment.

[napiers]

Great post Tia :nice1 !

Wanted to give you rep, but need to spread it around a little before I can rep you again :D, so posted this instead.



Ditto!! :nice1

[us3innz]

Cheers for your replies,

I think, going over the +'s and -"s lists that i have, that moving would be the better option. Where to is still the big question. We have made friends here in Blenheim , and it is a beautiful area so perfect for some but doesn't feel right for us, we both felt this for a while before we admitted it to each other too!!

I love New Zealand and i love the UK they both have their positives and negatives so its just have to going to be many hours of thinking and talking about it (luckily we both feel the same!).

We have been talking about a reccie to Hawkes Bay for a while and we have also been planning a trip back to the uk for this time next year so it isn't going to be a rushed decision! Tia - i too can get itcy feet so i have to be very wary of this when thinking it all through!!

I have heard of pople who have been a bit unsure whether to stay, gone on a visit to the uk and realised that NZ is where they def want to be...anyone experienced this?



Cheers
us3

[Andy-Dee]

Ditto!! :nice1

and me !!!!!!!!!!!! and I can't remember the last time I rep'd you

[Familyofmonkeys]

Everyone we meet in Auckland keeps telling us we live in the wrong place, but I really cannot be bothered with a move (it is moving six people for us) to only find out it is all the same since the issue wasn't the suburb but really the country.



Sometimes a move really can make all the difference :) We got it wrong first time.....
http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=14174&highlight=gremlins

Despite getting a crappy rental there was nothing at all wrong with the area we previously lived (West Harbour)..........it just didn't work for us as a family. There was a distinct lack of pre-school facilities and even the local Mainly Music and playgroups has waiting lists at that time. My daughter was on the waiting list for a kindy place and still hadn't been offered one nearly 6 months later despite the fact that she was way over 4 by that point. With a young family these things were a big deal to me and my main way of meeting people and making friends as a SAHM. We also found that although the views across the harbour to the city were really stunning, and there were some nice playgrounds in the area, there were no easy to access beaches nearby for a short daytime stroll. None of these things would probably have mattered to families with older children or working parents whose children got access to childcare facilities, and other forumites seem to live there quite happily.

Long term we are moving down to rural Canterbury, but I couldn't imagine spending the next two years making-do living that way as I would have ended up miserable (although definitely not homesick). We decided to try again somewhere else and ended up in Albany.....an area we'd originally discounted because we thought it would take OH too long to get to CBD for work. How wrong we were in that assumption......it's a 20-25 minutes bus ride from the park & ride (which is only 5 minutes or so walk away), so even on a bad day he saves about 40 minutes or so in travel time compared to his previous journey.....and it's about $40 a month cheaper too :) We have choice of a good half dozen or so kindies, there are many playgroups and childrens clubs of every description running, loads of nice playgrounds nearby, Brown's Bay is less than 5 minutes drive away for a stroll on the beach, there are several other nice beaches within 10 minutes drive including Long Bay Regional Park. We are much, much happier living here and for us moving really did make a difference.

The only thing I could really add it that we started off in a really lovely rental here in Albany, but the owners had morgage trouble so sold up after six months so we ended up having to move to a smaller not as nice rental down the road so we could stay within the same school zone as we like the school a lot. We currently have the neighbours from hell living next door and I often want to throttle them with the amount of noise they make......but despite this we are still happier living in this area until we move out to the sticks :)

[tim&em]

In my opinion NZ is such a varied place that if you're not happy where you are there are a million other options (although some people, like us, as limited by work).

I highly recommend taking some time, hitting the road, and going to see as much of the country as possible.

When we moved here (and we love Christchurch at present) we promised ourselves that we wouldn't forget the reasons that made us move from the UK in the first place. And if we're ever needing a change in the future, somewhere else in NZ will be the top of our list!