[Jennie & Rob]

They say confession is good for the soul...

It's 20 days or so until we leave, and the pressure is truly beginning to build. However, little incidents like last night don't help - to cut a very long sorry story short; I was an idiot, the task I set myself was the preparation of the insurance list, not difficult but needs to be done properly. However, in my normal style I tried to complete the job in half the time, so only read half the form and as a consequence did half a job. :no

What makes this worse, when we sat down to work through the list, and Jennie spots the omissions and mistakes. I develop an attitude :( :oops: , and argue against all the good sense Jennie is making. In my defence (and it isn't much of one) I don't normally do this, but at times the pressure of the migration just gets to me (and emigrating was my idea).

So firstly, Jennie I am truly sorry for last night, and I hope by posting my sins on this site, for everyone to read. Will convince you to stick with it and me. I just know that life in NZ will be worth all the heartache, lost sleep, worry and stress.

Secondly, I have learnt a valuable lesson, when your under strain talk about it and don't keep going regardless, otherwise you'll grind to a halt and make matters so much worse.

[jan]

Rob, Well done for this post. I think everyone will relate to what you have 'done'. And you had the b**** to come out and admit it!

I would be on here everyday if I did :laugh :laugh :laugh

Keep going and chin up

Jan xx

[jan]

But I have to admit I am always right!! :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh

[Moorf]

Great post - something that hasn't really been mentioned much on this forum is the way in which the emigration process can put strain on couples/families. I am sure we've all had our moments :?

Well done you for recognising it and nipping it in the bud - you've got to keep talking - fears, doubts, worries and anxieties - air them and you'll sleep better at night :nice1

Our moments of stress were:

- get a job before we go or just go for it?
- what to take, what not to take?
- filling in the paperwork :?
- take the pet or leave behind

Moorf

[Danpoll]

I think our poor loved ones do take a lot of slack, The whole stress of the process causes bickering and petty arguments. I know I am guilty of it, probably because this is one big pressure cooker of emotions and uncertainty and the ones closest get affected when the pressure pops.



Dan

[Diny]

I can relate to this thread so much. I think hubby and I have argued more in this last month than we ever have in all the 17+ years we've been together.

I wonder if any other forumites have found themselves shouting "well we better decide whats happening with us before we make this move".

Funny thing is, it's only since we started packing and had an actual departure date that things have 'come to a head'.

Kind of comforting knowing it's not just us. Guess I can cancell the appointment with the divorce lawyer now :laugh :laugh :laugh

I know what you mean Jan about always being right. If only these darn men would take that on board life would be so hassle free :nice1

When hubby comes home I think we'll put on our beads and kaftans and have a love in :eek :eek

Diny

[Babette & Andy]

Good on ya Rob for posting this thread, hope it helped you & Jennie :nice1 and cleared the air.

Like others said above, I think we all go through similar situations throughout this process. Keep talking, try to lighten up once in a while, and if at all possible (and we're finding this very hard at the moment) try to have a conversation that doesn't revolve around:
- what still needs to be done to the house and when to put it on the market
- when should Andy finish work (end May or end June)
- when do we book our flights for
- when do we ever get a break from the kids
and so forth . . . told you, not easy to have a conversation when all above topics are banned :mrgreen:

Hang in there everyone :nice1

Babette

[sarahw]

Good thread!

I guess its only natural considering the pressure we're all under. We never usually argue, but ...

1) Your emotions are running high
2) You're more than likely running on less sleep than usual (things buzzing around your head at night that you have to do the next day)
3) You're more than likely stressed from all the stuff you've got to organise & physically tired from packing/cleaning/organising everything
4) If anyone's selling a house it increases stress & nailbiting in even the most laid back of us!

We argued during the process & after we arrived. I think that 4 months after we've moved here we've only just found our feet again relationshipwise (and we still haven't sold our house in the UK which still triggers regular money 'discussions' and anxious feelings). I know it sounds a long time & I'm certainly not saying that the last 4 months have been arguments every day but its taken us a while to find our footing again.

Remember you're moving your family out to the other side of the world - this isn't a small thing that's going to go smoothly! & I reckon that its more than normal that couples have a few terse words & lose tempers during that process!!! (unpleasant as it may be at the time).

[Jennie & Rob]

Thanks, for all you words of encouragement and support.

There is so much common sense written on this site, it is true we all have those moments enough is enough. It would be unrealistic, not to expect another 'incident' especially with a 24 hr flight plus waiting in airports, only a couple of weeks away. :eek

However, I know that a deep breath and a quick reminder of the following:

1. How much you love your partner, and that you really want to spend the rest of your life with them in paradise.
2. The current situation is temporary, no matter how awful it will not last forever.
3. There will many sunny days, chilled glasses of wine and beautiful sunsets to look forward to.
Will have be back on the straight and narrow.

Having, just written this list I only needed the first item on the list to cheer me up. By the time I finished writing 3, I can't wait to go home and give Jennie a big hug. :smile

[Hannah-NL]

:clap :clap :clap :clap :clap

[Carol]

There will many sunny days, chilled glasses of wine and beautiful sunsets to look forward to.



The wine is chilling..........

Looking forward to seeing you at the airport...............even if Jennie cant string a sentence together! - as she herself has described. :laugh :nice1

[lindajax]

HI All,

Just wanted to add my bit - late and probably not valid now BUT

It is a stressful process - Done it and know it is.
Ali and I knew what it would be like but that didn't stop little tet a tets like Jennie and Robs - the good thing Rob is that you identify why you were an arse and know its only a temporary insanity thing that will not be a permanent fixture of your relationship.

Ali and I had some hum dingers and have had some since getting here as unfortunately the stress doesn't just stop when you get on the plane .

You all know what you want to do - you all know its a stress - you all love each other and realise that tiffs are normal under stress.

BE PATIENT with each others little foibles and try to keep yer gob shut when your gonna say something daft - not always attainable but worth a try.

Take it from me - been there ......... it'll all be good.

It is very cathartic to write things down Rob and a brave thing to do it in a public forum - you'll be right I have NO doubts about it!!!!!

Love to you and yours
Linda x

[veronica]

Theres a lot to be said about stepping back and counting to 10 before opening trap. A skill that I wish I could cultivate.

[Moorf]

Oh V... don't be modest.. I know u can count to 10!! ;) :laugh