[Kim39]

Ok,am about to have a rant. Last night we went around to our friends to say our goodbyes to them,as they flew out from Manchester at 10 this morning heading for Hamilton.

Now i have known my friend for 37 years,having grown up with him since childhood. Now when we started out on this adventure,he and his family were heading for Spain to start a new life. Now after various visits they realised that it just wasn't financially viable, so after a few chats with myself and wife they decided to go down the NZ route,which we were happy with. This meant that both familys could stay close but more importantly our friendship could be maintained in NZ and not brought to a close with his move to Spain and us to NZ.

As they are heading for Hamilton we will only be an hours drive away in Auckland,with the chance of being more close should my job take me to the same area.

Ok for the rant. Both familys are in the same predicament. House's to sell. Well this changed a few weeks ago as his in laws decided to send them off with a nice financial package to get them started,whilst leaving a unsold house behind. Hope it doesn't go sour for them,but we feel that they are about to live our dream. Its left us frustrated and a little jealous. To think they were originally off to Spain, but now as i write are probably over Europe heading for this new life when really it should be us sitting in those seats.

I know it may sound that this is total jealousy, which it isn't,but if we hadn't spoke on those few occasions then we would have had a different outcome. Our plans were to take that flight together.

Ok rant over with. I hope everything works out for them and it won't be long before we are joining them. We left them at 02:15 this morning following plenty of tears.

Has anybody else been in this predicament and how did you cope with friends dissappearing before you.

Kim

[jo b]

Kim

I know you are still sore because you are having your dream lived by your friends but and there is always a but and everyone will probably post similar, please try to see the positive.

They are going first they will get the first hand experience good and bad and if they are fiends will share that with you, you can then avoid any mistakes they have made. Lets just say they are paving the road for you.

In fact I am a bit jealous of you, I wish I had my best mate (who has been my best mate since I was 10) coming with us.

You can bet that they will be counting the days for when you can join them.

Habe you spoken to him how you feel. Don't do it over a drink...just in case.. I've been there done that not long ago.

Maybe once you are over there when you see things a little differently tell him how you felt/feel, but remember he hasn't done this out of malice.

Continue to wish him well and think what you would have done in his position.

Hope things are looking up for the house sale soon.

Oh and watch house doctor tonight, I know I will be.

Take care and love to you and yours

Jo

[Diny]

Ay up Kim.

I remember you telling us about this situation when we came up to see you the other week.

I don't think anybody can blame you for being jealous. Like you say, this is your dream which - in a very loose kind of way - has been hijacked.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels a pang of jealousy when another member of the forum posts their last UK message and then a few days later we get a posting from 'the other side'.

It's only natural to feel this way. It's only natural that those feelings such be magnified because they are your close mates and NZ was 'your idea'.

The only thing you can do is hang in there - wish them well, and then have one hell of a p*** up when you get over there and meet up with them again.

As long as we're invited too of course.

I know what it's like to have everything in place and just be delayed by the sale of the house. Believe me, your situation WILL suddenly change over night and you won't know whether to pick your a*** or scrath your nose. Then before you know it you'll be catching the taxi to the airport.

Easy for me to say I know ..... but hang in there mate.

Diny

[kiwidollie]

Can understand how you feel Kim. :wah

Don't let it get you down though mate. If anyone deserves this dream you do.
:yes
You are only human though so it's perfectly natural to feel like this - pleased for them but a little jealous also. Don't worry about it, things will come right for you and this will all fade into distant memory when you're trucking the scenic highways and byways of New Zealand in your brand new Scania!!! :yes

Keep ya chin up - this weekend is supposed to be a good one for people viewing houses etc so fingers crossed that it all falls into place soon eh?

:nice1

Alison and Neilx

[Mildred]

Kim there's a good reason why your family aren't going yet. Trust in fate - it will work out in the end for you

[kiwidebs]

Kim

I know I'd feel the same if I was in your shoes. I truly believe things happen for a reason and that the timing will work out for you and yours. Good luck with the house - I hear the market is picking up and the number of new approved mortgages is rising!! Yay for those of us with houses to sell.

Debs

[robothamma]

Hiya Kim

Firstly my apologies for not PM'ing you before now! Our full story is on previous postings so I won't bore you again! ;)

I fully agree with all the above postings, and although you may be feeling abit mad/jealous now look at it like this... You now have another source of info in NZ! someone who will find all the pitfalls first :nice1 :laugh Also they will be under tremendous pressure to make it work at least you won't have that added stress when you get there! and what is it they say about they save the best till last! It will all be worth it when you do get there I am sure :nice1

Chin up & fingers crossed with the house :nice1

Michelle

[Kim39]

Well folks just a quickie to say thanks for those kind words,it makes it a little easier. I have to agree with it all,let them sods trip up before i do :laugh only joking. I'm sure it will all work out for them, and us when we arrive. I know the first thing we will do and that is to have a few....nah lots of :cheers with them
On the house front. We had the agent round this afternoon to retake the pics and change the description. A little later i managed to hear a woman who was in our close, ask my youngest about our house :nice1 :clap ......dived straight out :exit and hi-jacked her. I then proceeded to give her a quick layout of the house and she said she may be back. So keeping these fingers crossed.

Kim

[zsj]

Well Kim we are those people - literally, some friends of ours told us all about NZ over 12 months ago, planning the big move, we always said nah you're mad. Last September, OH threw his teddy out the cot for the last time at work, contacted an NZ company and a couple of months later we were packing our bags(well not THAT easy but you get my drift!). House sold straight away, friends house had been on the market for most of the year.

We felt SO guilty about 'stealing the dream' and talked to them about it, told them how bad we felt but that they mustn't give up. I think it helped that we talked cos they admitted they were jealous to some degree and were able to say that we were sorry. Wierd, a bunch of mixed up emotions but I do think it is important to talk. They will arrive in 2 weeks time, we are very much looking forward to it and have been keeping in touch and rooting for them every step of the way. I am sure your friends will for you.

Sarah.

[sarahw]

Kim, I guess feeling jealous since it was your dream in the first place is natural. But... on the bright side - when you get here they'll have done all the research & will be able to tell you where to go to get the cheapest... or which company definitely not to use so it could benefit you in the long-run.

We left our house on the market when we left (in January) its still on... the market is not great at the moment - our friends came over to visit & look at moving to NZ in Feb, they put their house on the market & got an offer a couple of weeks later which looks like its going to go through smoothly - they're going to sell their house way before ours goes & are in the enviable position of having the cash in the bank when they get on their flights to come over. We both felt a bit down about the fact our house hadn't sold last weekend because of this but we're really pleased that they're going to be in that lucky position.

Things happen for a reason - there may be a reason that they're meant to get out there before you. Sit tight - you're going to be in a good position once you've sold your house (and things are picking up as people have said - we've had more viewings these last 2 weeks than we've had in the previous couple of months).

You're lucky that your friends are going to be living near you - all of us out here know how hard it is to make a new friends network - its going to take years (afterall how many years did you get to know your best friends at home!?) :nice1

[jonSE]

Kim

While it is very understandable to have those feelings of jealousy to your friends, who "stole your dream"

It's not their dream it's mine and I'm living it. It's Moorf's, Diny's etc. etc .... first names that spring to mind.

Don't worry now is not the best time to arrive anyway, The exchange rate is all wrong, it's the beginning of winter and in 2 months time hordes of te Barmy Army are going to arrive to watch the Rugby. NZ will still be here come the UK Autumn, and it will be spring here then. Far less stressful to organise your new life when it is warm than when it is wet and cold and windy (actually it was very pleasant today - jeans and tee shirt weather). Sunshine does have that effect of making things seem better than they are.

Mind you having said that i wish it would bloody rain we are still on self imposed water rationing.

Jon

[Kim39]

Well i feel a little easier today :uhoh I couldn't be bothered to turn in for work last night the downer was that big :( instead got stuck into the garden late afternoon to work it out of me. It was a help. Then settled down and had a few beers and wine,thinking all along how their flight was going?
Well today Elaine (wife) has sent them a txt wishing them well when they land(1hr away) I imagine there will be a call tomorrow from them, which i think may help us. I could go on and on, but it would be just sour grapes, so just good luck to them :clap
And thank you to your replies,reading them has helped us.

Kim

[Carol]

Kim

I wish I had my best mate (who has been my best mate since I was 10) coming with us.

You can bet that they will be counting the days for when you can join them.



Oh how often I've thought this.

Ok - gloves off:

1.
I am insanely jealous when I see a friend here with all her family around her.
She has her brother here and his wife and family.
His wife's mum lives with them and looks after their litle .

I LOVE being with them - but feel so guilty about my jealousy at the same time because I want my family here so bad and it aint gonna happen.


2.
I feel incredibly bitter sometimes when I see what people are selling in the UK to bring here.
We only made a few thousand on our house when we came 9yrs ago and that kind of went up in smoke along with the air fares.
So we have started with a HUGE mortgage (relatively speaking).
When I hear of folk coming who are going to be "mortgage free" I think - you dont know how blo ody lucky you are.

3.
I detest sitting having coffee in the mall on my own and watching mums and daughters, sisters, friends, etc etc chatting over a coffee.
I have to look the other way because that is what I want. And stuff the coffee.

4.
When I hear of family members planning trips I think "how lucky are YOU!" because we have no-one at the moment planning to come.

5.
When my husband doesnt bother to ring his brother in Auckland for weeks on end I think "you ungrateful sod - I'd give my right arm to have my brother this close".


So.....Kim


Is the day looking better for you?

Let me be blunt.

You are in a VERY fortunate position.


ME? - I am just having a bad day - and tomorrow.............I'll be fine. :?

[Carol]

pssst.......sorry..... :oops:

PMT

you know? :exit

At least I didn't swear....... ;) ;) :laugh



Ahhhhhhh yes....

the difference a week can make......
:nice1 :nice1 :nice1 :nice1 :nice1 :nice1 :nice1


Terrible weather in Welly just now but.....


WHO GIVES A STUFF!!! :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh

Actually............

this particular post has really made me realise that it is probably time to do something serious about the PMT other than the token Evening Primrose (when I remember)

Joking aside.....life is pretty unbearable for that time for me.


I just didnt realise.....that sad post sounds like someone I only know vaguely.
Most of the time....ie now.... I'm fine.


(thought I'd better let you all know in case you think I am a complete nut!)
:nice1 :exit

[Kim39]

Ok,Carol. I see where you are coming from and understand fully, in fact you have made me quite sad now :laugh

When we get there we will be your adopted family, how's that?

In fact we can leave our two girls with you and they can become your daughters, OK.

I understand your next post. How do you think i feel. I have to suffer, with 5 females in the household. 3 humans and two female dogs, wife and eldest suffer there monthly's, with my youngest not that far away. The atmosphere each month ain't good :laugh When it goes off i just look at the hamster, at least its a male,but he makes me jealous when i see whats hanging from him,there like balloons.

Take care

Kim

[Carol]

typical bloke
thinks of no-one but himself...





:cheers :cheers :cheers

[Babette & Andy]

Hang in there Kim - on all fronts :laugh Living your dream will come, when it's your time (after the NZ winter!!) after all the DIY and house doctoring you and Elaine have done, I'm sure you going to get 'The Buyer' through the door any day now.

I couldn't be bothered to turn in for work last night the downer was that big instead got stuck into the garden late afternoon to work it out of me. It was a help Andy and you had the same thought - he 'worked from home yesterday' - finished second coating the hall/stairs/landing and managed 4 fence panels :nice1

See you on the 21st.

Babette

[jan]

When it goes off i just look at the hamster, at least its a male,but he makes me jealous when i see whats hanging from him,there like balloons.


:laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh Kim thats just made my day

Jan x

[MB]

I just wanted to thank Kim, Carol and the others for this thread because it is very honest. It takes quite a lot of strength to post in the way that Kim and Carol (and others) have done. It's a great kind of thread to have amongst the others here. :clap

Good for you for saying what is really going on inside. It says a lot, and says a lot about you.


And says quite a bit about the hamster, too! :laugh :laugh :laugh

[Carol]

And says quite a bit about the hamster, too! :laugh :laugh :laugh


I have a vision!
:laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh

[chips]

Have they called yet!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek :eek :eek :eek

[Kim39]

Chips........They have txtd me. I called them back, must admit i felt a lot better hearing their voices. All my mates wife could say was "get your arse over here fast", couldn't believe it, i phoned him on his mobile and it was if he was in his house just round the corner from me.
Better for having a quick chat.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts,its really appreciated. As for the Hamster........................ :?


Kim

[Nicola]

Carol

After reading your post. I just wanted to rush over and take you out for coffee. Sorry far to far away at the mo, but if we are ever passing your neck of the woods we will be in touch.


Kim

Know what you mean. It is so hard reading all the posts on here from people that have their PR and are about to make the move, on one hand I am so pleased that they are able to do it, but I am sooo envious and impatient to be off. I would be devestated if my mate was heading out there before me.

We are just sitting waiting for the house to sell and ex hubby to get solicitor letter to NZIS before we can get our PR.

It will soon be you that is heading over there, and you can learn from your mates experiences.

Nicola

[Stu]

Geez mate, jealous of a HAMSTERS?????? Holy cow. mate, no wonder you are depressed.
Indeed, we may not let you into the country even,, as having smaller anatomy that the common household hamster will severely affect our national average of blokeyness, and if we drop our average too much, people may accuse us of being Aussies! Yeeek!

In the meantime, eat plenty of oysters, lotsa ground rhino-horn, deer-velvet, consult a physician/plastic surgeon, and wait til early summer til you get over here, coz your complaint may only be exasserbated (oops, spelling?) by cooler weather.

My sympathies pal,
Stu.

[Kim39]

Stu,don't know how to take this posting. You ever seen a hamsters pair? when blown up there bigger than the rodent, believe me :eek
Ain't going any further on this subject,except to say, no sweat you ain't going to be accused of being a Aussie :laugh The national average just may go up when i arrive. Seen the tongue bud :mrgreen:

Kim

[lidax]

We pulled out the emigration forms from 15 years ago, lost on the property maket in 1988 so plans put on hold.

Watch next door watch a program on telly and then move to France
Kids school friends move to Canada.

Many happy hours playing the guitar with the kids playing. Miss them everytime I drop the kids at school. I know I will probably never see them again.

House is on the market again, have been accepted, consider myself lucky if I end up with nothing (no equity).

I can change the future but nothing will change the past I can only change how I feel about it.