[GrumpyGoat]

The strangest thing happened today about 2 pm. I am not sure what to make of it or what to do about it.
I was getting a school uniform for my daughter while they are on sale. But I had to drive across town to get her size. I was going to a mall that I had never been before in a less than savory area.
I did not know the layout of the mall and parking etc. I ended up driving completely around the mall several times trying to see if I could easily see the Postie + store and park on that end.
A small car followed me AROUND the mall two times. I noticed because I was trying to pull over and look at my map (GPS has crashed!!) but the little car stayed right on me. I don't know where it started following me but it followed me around the mall 2 times. Weaving through the parking lot, it followed me up and down the aisles.
I was getting a bit unnerved!
I tried to take a very hard left (more like a U-turn) toward more parking and it followed me so closely that I was blocked. I sat there for several minutes trying to decide if I should get angry or afraid--as this car was being VERY WEIRD! I had to move forward an inch and back up an inch for several minutes (they were too close for me to back up at all really) to get turned. When I finally got free, the car followed.
I finally found a parking spot near a bunch of people and pulled in.
The car pulled up right behind me--blocking me into my space.

A very odd acting older man approached my car and stood there. I rolled my window down a bit and asked what he wanted (I was hitting myself for refusing to carry a cell phone for emergencies!! I guess the radiation is secondary at a time like this and I will be IMMEDIATELY getting one)

He said that he saw me run a red light and he was going to get my information.

This was a bit confusing to me as I thought there must have been some kind of light in the parking lot??? Maybe I was so focused on this weird guy following me that I ran it??? (After the fact, I drove through the entire parking lot and there are no lights!!)

I knew I had not run any red lights on the public roads (in fact, was trying to look at my map so would have been helpful) and so this "red light" issue seemed a ruse to me.

He started talking about my daughter and telling me that I was a bad mother for running a red light with "such a beautiful little girl" in the car. He kept talking about my daughter (who is 4)--even attempting to speak directly to her through the windows. He demanded that I give him "my information"--which is just weird. Sorry, I am not giving ANY info to ANY stranger--except in a wreck.

If he legitimately thought that I ran a red light and wanted to report me, he could have written my license number down and I would have never known he existed. Why follow me for 15 minutes? Why come and speak to me? Why focus so creepily on my 4 year old?

Obviously, I gave him no information but I immediately thought of him getting my home address with my license number.

This got me less scared and more angry and I jumped out of my car and told this weirdo that the only problem was that he was following me and tailgating me and being weird.
I made a big show of getting paper out and writing down his license plate number and he took off at that point. I also wrote down the license numbers of the other cars in the area (with people as witnesses).
I said "OMG what a weirdo" to the 2 girls who watched the whole thing and they both laughed.

I am TOTALLY CREEPED OUT!!

Am I over-reacting?

Do I need to make some kind of police report or will they think I am a crazy over-reacting american?

Any thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Fern01]

A real nasty experience. It certainly doesn't sound too good and you are right to be suspicious. If you have the number of his car and/or the detail I would inform the police.

[Wooly_Cow]

Report him to the police. If they ignore you at least you've done your bit. The guy is clearly strange. Who knows what harm he might do to the next person he stalks.

...and as far as I know he can't get your address from your rego. You certainly can't in the UK so I asume you can't here either. By the way if he does say to the police that you did run a red light, it's his word against yours, so just deny it if the police say anything (which they won't)

.....and good on you for doing the right thing and driving to a place where other people were and have the presence of mind to get his number.

Hope you are OK now :)

[eassae]

I don't think your over reacting. Like the others said, Report him.

Creepy.

[GrumpyGoat]

Thanks guys for reading through that LONG post. (sorry--didn't realize it was so long--just trying to get all the details in there)

I feel much better that it seemed weird to you guys too. Because it really unnerved me.

I will be contacting the police tonight with the story and his license info. just to cover all bases.

What an awful experience.

[Georgebulldog]

That sounds awful, poor you, what a weirdo, would be interesting what the police say, if he's known in the area. Annoying others didn't see what was going on & helped but glad your OK, a big glass of vino to settle the nerves but not something you will forget for a while I'm sure I know it would freek me out

[benandclare]

Very weird......... You're doing the right thing by reporting him

[sizzlingbadger]

Definitely doing the right thing in reporting him. I would have been totally creeped out as well :uhoh

[Kea]

Report him. And to the mall security. It's not normal behaviour and the interest in your wee girl is worrying.

[KelvinAng]

Sure sounds fishy. A cellphone is always a good idea to keep around you. Would this mall be in Christchurch city?

I don't think even the cops can approach you to get information that way.

I've always wondered if you can get detailed information from car registration plates. I've heard that you can with a small fee at the post office by requesting information relating to a car registration. I'm don't know how detailed the report would be though.

[coconut]

Guy sounds like a nut.

Either way its good to inform the police. You might be the reason why they take the next complaint seriously.

From a different perspective, and after a few glasses of wine...what an excellent story. How many people feel like they are being followed only to talk themselves out of it. Here you are actually being followed. Its such a great tale to tell.

[Familyofmonkeys]

Did you report him in the end? What did the police say?

[YouMeAndThree]

He was well out of order. I do hope you've reported him. Hope you are okay.

[Kanga]

Report him. Sounds sinister and at least if you report the incident then if it's part of a pattern you have helped the pattern to be spotted, at least in theory. Hope you're feeling OK.

[darboots]

Report him. Don't take any chances with behaviour like that. He's clearly affected in some way, and you never know who he's going to do it to next. Best be safe. He may have been reported by others, and your report will add credence to their reports. Take care.

[Kiwi Mac]

You're certainly over-reacting if you are worrying about radiation from cellphones, that's for sure!! No way I'd put the insignificant risk (if any) posed by having a cellphone ahead of my personal safety or that of my family.

Hope you got his number - I'd report it.

[JandM]

Sorry you had such a frightening experience. Do let us know what the police said in response. (Maybe the shoppping mall has CCTV, so the security people there would know about this oddball?)

I just found this advice from the police, and it looks as though they'd think you'd done all the right things. It's interesting to see the link off that page, about reporting bad driving - your strange man was RIGHT out of order, even if he did think (which I'm sure he didn't) you'd done something illegal. http://www.police.govt.nz/safety/car.html

[Jolie]

I've had two people confirm to me that in NZ anyone can go to an NZ Post Shop and get the name and address associated with a rego (license plate). (One said the fee is $10, the other said it is $2.50, I'm not sure which is correct.) This is especially a problem because LandTransport demands that you give them your residential address, they will not let you give them just a Post Office Box.

I know a woman who met an Internet date at a public cafe, but was not careful enough to avoid letting him see her go to her car afterward. He showed up at her door later with flowers, and cheerfully explained that he had taken down her rego and gotten her full name and address from NZ Post. (He did not seem to understand why she had a serious problem with this!)

I think people should not have the capability to get your full name and physical address simply by paying a fee – it horrifies me that this is actually allowed in New Zealand.

Perhaps it's a remnant of the very-trusting Kiwi culture, from days when no one saw a problem with anyone having the capability to do this. In the U.S. it would never be allowed as a "public service" because of all the whacko stalkers there (although there are certain ways to get the information anyway, if you know what they are).

I suspect that, to get the practise outlawed in NZ, it is going to take at least one rape or murder where the perpetrator has tracked the victim down this way.


And it sounds to me as though this guy is likely a paedophile who was attracted by the sight of your beautiful daughter, and hoped to intimidate you into giving your address. I don't blame you for being terrified. Thank god he didn't think to have a fender-bender with you, you'd have been obliged to give him the info then! It's more than a bit worrisome to think about how many women with whom he may have tried this approach in the past and been successful. And let's hope that he's not aware that he can buy your address from NZ Post.

You may want to file a police report on the incident (under the category of harassment, maybe?). If he comes up on the police's radar for such actions more than once, perhaps they will do something about it – or heaven forbid, the information you provide will be helpful in a future prosecution should he actually commit an offense against someone else later on.

[Jolie]

Oh, and his "pretext" of getting your details is definitely not the way it's done. You can report an erratic or dangerous driver by phoning *555 from your cellphone (obviously, you now need to pull over to do this, since using your cellphone whilst driving is now illegal), or by filling out a RoadWatch Bad Driver Report online (http://www.police.govt.nz/service/road/roadwatch.html).

[VileTraveller]

Now I need to look into stun gun licensing in NZ ...

[Sam B]

Although this man sounds like a creep and was obviously acting in a very unusual way, and I agree you should report him, he DOES NOT fit the profile of a paedophile in any way at all. I am basing this on training I received as a social worker in child protection. Paedophiles do not generally try to approach children when they are with their parents in busy places. This explanation does not make sense, he would not have been able to see your daughter clearly enough when he was following you in the car.

I think he was just a weird old busybody. It was a frightening experience, you are right to report it, but I do not think you should dwell on it now, or let other people's imaginations frighten you more than you already were. You are fine, and your daughter is fine.

[Duncan74]

But he was a bloke and out in public so must be a paedophile. That's a fact that I don't need any training to know. And as the post says then he even tried talking to a kid, what more evidence do you need that he was attempting to kidnap her. Would you wait until you saw him in a public place with a camera before you sentence him to death?

Whilst I agree he sounds like a nut job, then I do dispair of the OTT way in which the issue is portrayed in the UK and hoped it wouldn't be the same in NZ.

[TheNaylors]

I'm sorry to hear GrumpyGoat that you have experienced such a thing. I know it would have certainly have rattled me had I been in the same situation with my daughters and I think the right thing would be to report it. If this person was genuinely concerned about you running a red light, they have most definitely gone the wrong way about dealing with it and their behaviour was most odd from your description. As a parent, you can't be too careful these days (which is a real shame, but thats what it comes down to).

[Flutterby]

as the mother of a almost 4year old, the comments about and attempt to talk to your daughter don't phase me as anything out of the ordinary in this country, many many passers by would comment on or talk to my daughter on a daily basis, so maybe she is just beautiful and he was making small talk. BUT the tailgating and asking for your info is unnerving, and i think reporting him is the right thing to do. Even if you did run a red light and he genuinely wanted to report you, tailgating is very dangerous and his actions will only get him in as much or more trouble than you for running a light.
I'd imagine that if he approached you asking for your details, it probably hasn't even occured to him that he could obtain them using your rego, but please do carry a mobile for future emergencys, you can keep it switched off the majority of the time if you are worried about radiation.

[Madoxen]

Please please plase tell me that you have reported this man and his strange behavior to the police and mall security, and if so have you had any feed back yet ?

[Wooly_Cow]

Hey there....what happened? Did you reprot the guy? Did the police take it seriously?

[Skipjack]

The NZ Privacy Act that came in about 5 years ago has stopped people accessing personal information. E.g., access to information such as gettng your address from your rego plate. So you shouldn't worry about him geting your address info from your rego

Basically the law changed to reflect that information held about you now belongs to you and you only. Anyone else who has information about you (like the local council, etc) must protect 'your' information. It's not their information to give away. There are some tighty regulated exceptions - like you must give info to the police as part of an enquiry, or to a hospital if there is a life threatening need to know.

[bob_the_engineer]

The NZ Privacy Act that came in about 5 years ago has stopped people accessing personal information. E.g., access to information such as gettng your address from your rego plate. So you shouldn't worry about him geting your address info from your rego

Basically the law changed to reflect that information held about you now belongs to you and you only. Anyone else who has information about you (like the local council, etc) must protect 'your' information. It's not their information to give away. There are some tighty regulated exceptions - like you must give info to the police as part of an enquiry, or to a hospital if there is a life threatening need to know.

Given your registration number and $12, I could easily get your name and address from here…

www.carjam.co.nz

Bob

[JandM]

Carjam's own Privacy Policy says this. Notice the last paragraph, which is reassuring.


Monday, July 21st, 2008

The Motor Vehicle Register (MVR) has always been a public register. As such Land Transport New Zealand is obliged, under section 19 of the Transport (Vehicle and Driver Registration and Licensing) Act 1986, to provide access to the name and address of the current and previous owner(s) of a vehicle.

In all cases the vehicle must be identified by providing a registration plate number or VIN (Vehicle Identification Number), the prescribed fee paid and identification produced. Currently, there is no restriction ion the Act about who can access this information, nor what can be done with the information once obtained.

The legislation which provides for the release of information from the MVR is currently under review. The Government has agreed to improve the privacy of the MVR by clarifying the purposes for which information is collected, and tightening up public access to it in accordance with the Privacy Act 1993. This change may take some time, but it is being progressed.

If any person considers that the supply of their name and address may be likely to jeopardise their or their families personal safety (i.e. threat to life or property), they must put their request in writing to apply for confidential status. Applications must include their full name, address, phone number and the plate numbers of the vehicles involved. Each application is assessed on its own merit.

The applicant must also supply either:

a protection order
written confirmation from a Police Officer to the effect that the officer believes that the personal safety of the applicant and the applicants family could be jeopardised by the supply of the applicant’s name and address
evidence of a threat to their safety
Please refer to the Land Transport Privacy Page for further information.

Please note that CarJam do not give out the full street address of ownership data. We provide only the suburb and name which in the interests of balancing privacy with the right for a purchaser to know they are buying from the real owner should be sufficient. This policy is in line with that of similar service

[Ally Bally Bee]

I was able to get the name and address of the owner of a car. It cost $2.50 and all I had to do was fill in a form and show some id. I had legitmate reasons though (am a journo and car belonged to a guy who was with a runaway girl young enough to be his daughter).
This was June 2008 so the privacy act has meant nothing.

As for *555 - you are allowed to use your cellphone while driving when calling this number or 111, these are the only exceptions (unless you're a cop ans the law doesn't apply - seriously).

Hope you reported him anyway, sounds like a frightening experience.

[Skipjack]

I stand corrected ! - Good to know that you can at least get the details hidden from public view (but sadly, only after the stalker nutter has tracked you down).

[macncheese]

I had something similar happen to me, many years ago in the States. This guy on the freeway behind me was driving an old Crown Victoria, which is the car used by Highway Patrol in California. In my rearview mirror I wasn't sure if he was a cop or not, so I kept my eye on him on my way into town. When I pulled into a parking lot downtown, he parked right behind me, blocking me. I got out of my car, and so did he. At that point I could see he obviously was not a policeman, more like an old hippie, but he had a big German Shepherd and he sternly lectured me on my driving as if he were a policeman. I could tell he wanted to scare me and was getting pleasure from intimidating me. I just walked away and he didn't follow. This must be some kind of mental disorder....the similarities are too much!

[constablechuck]

There are strange people in every country, NZ is no different. It's no safer than most parts of the U.S.

In my opinion NZ'ers tend to be more polite and less confrontational than Americans or Brits. But the ones that are aggressive or even predatory seem to expect people to put up with them and seem quite surprised when someone stands up to them. There's a guy that stands in the median on Blenheim Rd in Christchurch, if your waiting at a red light he'll clean your windows whether you want it or not, then stand by your window with his hand out. One day I shook my head no and he did it anyway, I felt sorry for him so I gave him a dollar, then he said "what the F*** am I going to do with a dollar, buy a Panadol ?, I got out of my car and said give me my F***** dollar back, the guy couldn't believe it and stood speechless, I told him give it over now I'm not gonna ask again, he reached in his pocket and handed it back without saying another word. So, it's not that hard to turn the tables.