[Bern]

Hi All,

I just joined the forum and have been reading many of the posts - thank you for having such an informative site.

I was wondering if anyone is willing to share their experience with how their kids adjusted to the move, schools, etc... Or if there is already a thread on this topic - if they could point me in the right direction.

My daughter is 10 and open to the move. The plan is to visit this July for a couple of weeks and then hopefully move in October - if approved by then.


Bernadette
__________
EOI submitted 20th May 2005
Selected 25th May 2005
Waiting for ITA :smile

[jan]

Hi Bern, welcome to the forum

I have a 12 yr old son and a 7 yr old daughter. We have been here 2 weeks and i must say I was a little worried for the kids but oh boy was I wrong. I decided to put them into school asap as I felt they needed to intergrate sooner than expected, too much adult company me thinks, they are doing great!! :nice1

Far too much worrying on my part. As everyone said to me` They will adapt so quickly` and its true. We have met some other english whose kids are doing fine too. Her daughter is 13!

[Diny]

Hi Bern - welcome to the forum.

This is a good topic you've brought up. We are leaving for NZ 5 weeks today and have 2 boys ages 8 and 9. They've made several trips to NZ before but always in 'holiday mode' ...... naturally we're concerned how they will cope with the one way move.

Any shared experiences will be greatly received !!!!

Diny

[wilson182]

My two girls as 5 and 13. They have settled in SO well it exceeded my expectations. I also got them into school fairly quickly so they could settle in and make friends. My 13 yr old ( who was then 12) had to go back a few months as in England she had started year 8 but over here they were finishing year 7. The principal of her school asked me how I felt about this, but I felt it was OK as it would give her a chance to concentrate on making friends. She is so at home here she has stated many times that she would not want to return to England.

[Biddy]

The best advice I can give is to involve the kids as early as possible! Get them looking at maps and houses on the internet and photos of the country etc as soon as you decide it's NZ for you.
If you leave it till the last minute or keep them in the dark then the shock of change will be BIG.
Mike

[Diny]

You're right Mike - the trick IS to involve them from day 1.

My boys have always been 'in the thick of it' concerning NZ. They are half Kiwi and have been there on several occasions (our youngest was 3 months and the eldest was 21 months when they made their first visit to see grandparents).

So far they are 'full on' regarding the move to NZ and I'm sure they will settle really well. However I guess it's only natural (as a parent) to be concerned about them. They adopt a 'water of a ducks back' attitude to everything else in life so I guess the move to NZ will be approached in the same manner.

Here's hoping anyway.

Diny

[Carol]

Our boys were 7 and 4 when we arrived here.
We fully expected the 7 year old to find adjustment difficult because he was so close to my mum and dad....but it was actually the other way round.
They are now 16 and 13.
After our recent trip to England - on arriving back in Wellington I asked them if they felt more at home here - or were they at home in England.
The 13 year old said home was here.
The 16 year old said he had a foot in both camps.
All good I think.

[chips]

The best advice I can give is to involve the kids as early as possible
Totally agree. Even if they are not sure, best be honest.
Our 3 chaps , 9,8 & 5 have really enjoyed themselves ,and have settled well.
I would be lying if i said they didn't get weepy ever so often, but that can about 4/5 months in. And when you question them ,they wouldn't go back, just miss friends and rellies.
The elsest was asked about the uk by some people who wanted to visit, he said " wet ,damp and quite dissappointing" :oops:
We suggested the UK is definaitly worth a visit!

[jocalla]

I have two kids (11 and 7) who have both adjusted quite well. My eldest does miss family alot and says that he wants to go back but he is definately NOT unhappy here. I just talk through everything with him when he has a 'moment' and he understands that we all miss everyone and it is only 'normal' to feel like this now and again. We work through it and the feelings often pass as quick as they come. My youngest however, has had NO problems what so ever!
In regards to school. Well they both settled very quickly. :nice1

Joanne

[zsj]

My 5 year old and 2 year old came here 4 months ago. The 5 year old started school 10 days in, has lost her 1st tooth, can swing on the monkey bars with the best of them and tells me she is a 'kiwi kid'. No problems. The 2 year old took more time to adjust, I think without having a school or playgroup to go to he missed out on that immediate social interaction but we have built up groups and classes we go to and he is fine now.

Definately involve them and get them into school/activities/social events with people of their own age as quick as possible. Its the same as grown ups really - we all need a friend!

Sarah.

[shagen]

Hi Bernadette,

We have two children 6+ and 4 and we involved them from day 1. We made a reccee in March. We made visits to schools during that trip so that our son gets an idea of what to expect. It turned out quite well.

We arrived end of last month. Our son starts school next week and is looking forward to it. Our daughter is just as excited looking at her brother but can't yet go to school.

Kids adjust a lot faster than us adults! They'll be fine.

Shagen

[GeorgeM]

Our plan was to wait a month or so after arriving and to start the kids at school at the beginning of a new term.

They got very bored with only each other for company within a couple of days of arriving and actually ASKED us if they could start school earlier!

They were only at school about a week and a half before the Sept holidays started, but this worked out very well as by then they had already made some friends with whom they could spend some time during the break. They also didn't have to spend 4 or 5 weeks with the (probably hidden but still very real) anxiety of what school was going to be like, whether they would fit in, etc etc.

My advice would be to get the children into school as soon as possible so that they can put down a few roots early on. Just a couple of new friends each will make it much easier for them to settle in.

[Bern]

Thanks everyone for the info and advice.

My daughter has been involved in the planning stage and so the move won't be a surprise. And part of the reason for coming this summer is to take a good look around, so it won't seem so different once we arrive.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry me some - she's been in the same school with the same friends for the past 5 years. We live in the cold, upper midwest of the USA and it takes people a long time before you are invited into their lives and/or homes. The biggest surprise may come because people are friendlier than they are here (I sincerely hope this will be part of our experience in NZ).

I'll look into the school schedules there and try to coordinate the move so that school is in session.

Of course, since we just began this process, the timing of the move really isn't under my control :?

[Robert Dazzler]

Not all kids find it easy to fit in. My 11 yr old son started in school a week after we arrived and got on fine, 2 months later we bought a house in a small village and he moved to the school there. He found it very difficult to fit into the "country school" mentality and never really settled so we`ve moved him again. He now catches the bus and goes to the intermediate school 5 miles away and is quite happy again.

Bobby.

[kiwidebs]

Thanks for this post. I do worry about my two. I think they'll be ok, but my three year old is very resistant to change and a little shy. She's recently started ballet and this seems to have brought her out of her shell - so I hope she'll be able to do a similar sort of ballet class in NZ. We have the added advantage of grandparents (my parents), aunties, uncles and a cousin to help cushion the shock.
Has anyone had any experience of getting their little ones into Kindergarton on arrival in NZ (I know people have to put their kids on a waiting list for some time to get in? My daughter will be 4 and my son 2 when we get there so I don't want them not socialising till they start school.

Debs

[zsj]

From what I can gather, the waiting list works purely by age so for example, when I put my son down, I was told at the current waiting levels, he would join at about 3 years and 2 weeks, but if there were more people coming onto the waiting list, and they were turning 3 before him, they would jump to the front of the queue. The waiting list for my son is noe 3 years and 2 months!!! So your 4year old will be put up to the top of the list probably and grab the next vacancy. (If you see what i mean!) As to how long that takes, it just depends on how popular the kindergarten is that you want to join.

For the 2 year old, there are heaps of things around, certainly down here in Wellington, there are music groups, gym groups, library storytimes, swimming groups, play groups (high parental involvement - good for meeting people), private pre schools....you should have no problem. All of the above are also good for your 4 year old daughter!

Good luck,

Sarah.

[kiwidebs]

Thanks Sarah. All good info. One of my main probs is that I will be working full time shifts as a nurse so trying to sort out regular groups etc will be a bit of a nightmare - but that's my problem to try and juggle. Thanks again.

Debs

[clarabell]

I strongly agree with involving your children everystep of the way to make the transition easier!
I know a family who were moving house and didnt tell their daughter (who was 4 at the time) until the day they moved out...needless to say she didnt take it very well. I understand this is an extreme circumstance but Im sure if she'd been at least acknowledged she would have been ok :no !!

We have involved our kids (7 and 3) everystep of the way from looking at maps to day dreaming over houses on the internet and just chatting about the move in general. If the kids are as informed as much as possible it can only make their transition easier, and lets face it, if its easier for them, it'll be easier for us! :mrgreen:

[Chris Blunt]

Interesting thread, ours will be 4.5 and 1.5, we arrive in July and the eldest will be 5 in October, I know they can start school at 5 but is it as soon as or the following term etc?

Thanks

George
(the mrs)

[GeorgeM]

My understanding is that they start school on their 5th birthday.

[jan]

I know a family who were moving house and didnt tell their daughter (who was 4 at the time) until the day they moved out...


How inconsiderate is that. Even so young she needed time to prepare in her own little mind. :eek

Yep its after they turn 5.

The teacher next to my daughters class sits at break in the playground having her hair brushed by 2-3 willing little girls!

[Chris Blunt]

Thanks for info, don't have to worry about him being bored for 6 months now! :smile

G

[Chris Blunt]

Thanks for info, don't have to worry about him being bored for 6 months now! :smile

G

[Chris Blunt]

Sorry, repeating myself as always! :oops:

g