[Smiler]

Hi everyone

Just realised that I will miss my son's 21st next year. (Was a single mum for a long time till Gary (OH) came along 4 years ago) I've been in floods of tears and I'm not even in NZ yet!

I just wondered how anyone else had coped with missing big stuff/events.

:uhoh

Weepy Deborah

[kiwidollie]

Is your son not emigrating with you then?

Ouch!!! :( Poor you - you'll have to have parallel celebrations going on each side of the world :cheers

I haven't dared think about stuff like that - it's just too hard.

Good luck to you for your new life :nice1

[Smiler]

Hi Kiwidollie

No unfortunately he isn't. He says ( and we understand this ) he has his own life here, girls, mates, job etc. and has never been one for taking chances.

I'm hoping that when he comes out for holidays, he might just like enough to stay. Although this is probably me clinging on to hope!

Deborah

[Diny]

2 years ago I turned 40. As a treat my hubby took me to France & Belgium for a few days. It wasn't until it was all booked up that I realised I would miss my youngest sons 6th birthday (which is 2 days after mine).

I was mortified and spent the whole run up to the trip and the actual trip itself fretting about my little boy.

Needn't have worried ...... his Gran & Grandad were baby sitting, they had all the cousins and aunts & uncles around and he had one heck of a time. When we phoned him he was too busy to talk to us.

What I'm trying to say is this ....... try not to beat yourself up about what you're going to miss. The thought of it is usually ten times worse than the actual experience. Focus on the good things and let the bad ones take care of themselves.

I was talking to my mum the other day and getting very tearful about missing her & dad etc. She said simply .... don't be sad, you've got some wonderful times ahead of you and we can't wait to join you on holidays.

I guess she has a point.

Good luck and chin up.

Diny

[Smiler]

Hi Diny

Thank you, having read yours and KWD's posts, I feel better and you are so right. It's thinking about it now that's the worst thing. I'm sure I can still celebrate with him however great the distance may seem now.

OR

I could send him a ticket as a 21st pressie for him (and me) !!!!!

See I can think straight now :nice1


Thank you both

Back to smiling smiler

[Chris Blunt]

Hi,

We are flying out on the 18th of July and will be arriving in Wellington on the 21st (after a short stop over in LA) but on the 20th of August my younger brother will be getting married. We felt bad that we were going to miss it but after a chat about it with him it is clear that he understands that we have to get on with our plans.

Cheers,

Chris.

[ukiwibird]

:( With families there is always a celebration, birthday or family get-together to go to. Our son (22) went back to NZ a week before fathers day, we are flying out a week before Wayne's Mums birthday. You can't put your life on hold for other people. I missed my sisters wedding this year because I was in UK. I missed my brother-in-laws funeral because I was in UK. Wherever you are family life goes on. You can't dwell on these 'special' days. Keep smiling Trudy

[ruthyroo]

Over the last two weeks I have missed out on my mum's long awaited retirements celebrations, and my sisters PhD graduation, my father-in-laws birthday and my best friend having her second baby (i am god mother to her first)! I have felt very left out when they phoned with all their stories. I think it is part of being this far away that you just have to learn to live with. As someone said above, there are always family and friend type things happening - weddings, birthdays, babies arriving, graduations, etc etc. If you waited till your 'diary' was clear you would never leave! Best of luck

[Tanya]

While I was living in the UK for 16 years, I lost my Nana and my Grandad, my cousin's son shot himself and my sister had a baby :(

I got married while living there and we got married in St Lucia. As we didn't invite the families, my mother had a big party back in NZ, timed for when we were getting married in St Lucia and 2 of her friends dressed up in wedding outfits, called themselves our names for the day, had a mock wedding service and a huge party which someone videoed for us. It was great to watch. Mum was upset she wasn't there as I have not been married before, but this made up for it in some way for her.

Nothing really to do with the question, more from living it in the opposite direction. ;)

Tanya

[lindajax]

Hi all,
I recently missed my mums 60th.... initially I felt sick coming and knowing I would miss it as me and mum are pretty close and I know she expects your presence at such events.
I was dreading her take on it but she was surprisingly good and never once moaned I wouldn't be there.

You can't be everywhere.... when you move here you've got to accept that.
I still made a big fuss of mum... I rang her a good few times around her birthday and twice on it. I sent special gifts and had flowers delivered etc.
I know its not the same but it helped.

I'm sure our loved ones understand we can't put life on hold and wait for big events to pass before coming to nz - if we did we'd never get her.

Try not to worry.......
Linda x

[Smiler]

Hi all

When I see what you guys have missed, what am I worrying about??

Now I've stopped blubbing I can see things clearly, thanks to all your posts.

BTW, Gary, him being a bloke and all that :eek suggested last night that a ticket to NZ is Scott's 21st birthday pressie from us. I had only thought about it on here, not even mentioned it to him.

At this point in time, he has brownie points up to his neck.

Deborah