[Debbie]

Hi all,
I'm having a funny five minutes, (again) and am wandering if anyone has had any luck in sponsoring their parents into NZ. My OH and I only have 1 sibling each so we meet the balance of family test but I would like any info /advise on how easy or not it has been to sponsor family over.
To explain, we are telling OH family this week that we are planning to move to NZ and I want to cover all the bases.
Wish me luck. :( :( :(
Debbie

Worst is still to come, my family next :wah :wah

[paul&laura]

Hi Debbie

We have looked into this at you have to have been resident in NZ for 3 years before you can sponser a family member

laura

[Smiler]

Debbie

Good luck with telling the relly's. Their reactions depends on their outlook on life and their understanding of what/why you are doing.

My parents have reacted really badly and relationships have not been the same since we told them :( :( but I'm 44 and can't go on living my life for my parents. I've told them I'm still their daughter and we will come back and visit, phone, write everything, but it is not changing how they feel.

Gary's parents have been more supportive :clap

The only thing I would have done differently is somehow told them all together and then :exit

Sorry rant over. :P

Good luck and fingers crossed, look forward to hearing how it all went

Deborah

[Debbie]

you have to have been resident in NZ for 3 years before you can sponser a family member

laura

Only 3 yrs...

I knew there was an up side to this plan. :laugh :laugh :laugh

Debbie

[Debbie]

Well Smiler,
We told, or rather I sent OH out for a long walk with his father and he told him of our plans and my FIL was realy great about the whole thing. OH and FIL decided not to tell MIL as she is terminally ill and she doesn't need to know. My FIL now has a new project to look at and says he might come over after we have done 3 yrs if we are sure we are staying!

I've wimped out of telling my family just yet, my mum will not take it well :no
I said to her about 18mth ago that we would like to try emigrating but didn't name any location and she refussed to speek to me for a fortnight got her self so wound up that her angina (sp) played up and she spent 3 days in hospital. My brother doesn't have any children so all of the focus is on our children, my mum has made them her life. I don't think she would mind me going if it wasn't for the grand kids.

If I had my way I would send a Dear John post card from Auckland but since we plan to put our house on the market in Sept I'm going to have to tell her over the BAnk Hols.
:( :(
Wish me luck. Debbie

[gil]

Wishing you well with breaking the news Debbie. It feels like one of those life role reversal situations, with you in charge instead of your parents. Two years ago, we moved 5 miles from our old house which was virtually opposite my dad (moved there 1995 to be near my mum who was very very ill, and sadly died in 1997); he plunged into not speaking to us, refusing to visit and claiming to have depression (which even his GP couldn't authenicate). Anyway, after we'd been here a year, I went and got him and made him come up and see his 4 grandchildren/the house, and he snapped back into normality as if we'd flicked a switch! Not sure how to broach the NZ idea with him though!
All the best,
Gil

[Smiler]

Hi Debbie

Sounds like you handled the situation with MIL/FIL very well. No need to give MIL any more anguish and a positive reaction from FIL given the circumstances.

Good luck with telling your mum though, I understand about the grandkids thing. Even though my sisters have kids, my son is the eldest grandchild and is up there on a pedestal.

I've decided ( however much anguish it causes me or them) that this is what we want to do now, not later when my parents aren't around and we will be to old to enjoy it to the full. I know it will be hard for your Mum but I hope she can see you hopes and dreams and reasons for wanting to do this and be happy for you all. Failing that I'll give her my mum's number and they can start a club :hi

I suppose the FOR SALE sign will be a bit of a giveaway... but if I had my way I would have done this.. :typing from AKL airport, chicken that I am.

Good luck on the bank holiday

Deborah

[K&CS]

It's really difficult telling parents about such a major move. My mum is in the early stages of Alzheimers (although she has got a lot worse recently) and telling her has been a nightmare because she doesn't remember for more than 5 minutes at a time or will suddenly remember at 4am and phone me then to ask if it's true. Sometimes she thinks we've already gone and will leave about 15 messages for us asking to make sure we ring her before we go, so that whole bit's been hard.

OH's family are fine about it. Then again, they emigrated to Oz in the 70s (came back after 4 years), so they understand our reasons for wanting to try something new.

Deborah, I totally agree with what you said - you can't live your life for your mum. I certainly won't expect my kids to stick around for our sakes when they grow up - that is not why you have children!!

Good luck to all anyway - however they react, they'll come round eventually!

Kate

[marcia]

We have been open right from the start about telling our parents.

Kev lost his dad suddenly last year and we only live around the corner from his mum and I see her nearly every day. In fact I know that our youngest Emerson has been the one thing that has really helped her through the last year.
She is coming with us for the 'holiday' when we go in January and I think she will possibly think about coming over for good once we are settled, but she has another son and two grand-daughters here. But they just don't see her or look out for her like i do, so she is my big worry when we do go.

My mum and dad have been ok - they throw in odd comments every now and again like 'beware of the earthquakes and volcanoes' etc, but i think they do understand why we want to do it.
The hardest thing is that they have no other grand children. I have a sister but she has never had any children (just borrows mine when she wants to watch the lastest disney film at the pictures!!!) So the guilt about taking their grand children away is huge.
Mum and dad are looking after Emerson whilst we go to NZ in January for 3.5 weeks. I think my mum is trying to cram as much quality time as possible in before we go!

At the end of the of the day you have to look at your own little family and plan for their future, your parents won't be here forever, and you could hang on and hang on until your children are too old to benefit from the change of lifestyle.

I think it's one of the hardest decisions many of us will ever face!

[baboonworld]

Dont want to put a downer on things but I have heard the the 3 year thing changed at some point this year to a 5 year wait before you can sponsor - I am sure someone on here can put me right if i am wrong.

On the upside your family can visit for up to six months at a time (if you can stand it!) with six months in UK in between.

We are in the same situation and the other downside is, sometimes there is no Family Quota to try and get your parents sponsored in (this year for example there is no quota).

Fortunately for me my parents and brother are already in NZ (i am a kiwi) but my partner has his mum and step dad here - and like a lot of you we have the only Grandchild as he is his mum's only child.

At first they were VERY negative but now they have come around. They would have been a lot happier if they could also emigrate when we do - which would have been their ideal! It would have been best for us of course too as my little girl sees them every day at the moment.

[jubjub]

The three year/five year thing comes in depending on when you got your PR, if you have it prior to 21st April, its three, after that its five.

http://www.dia.govt.nz/diawebsite.nsf/wpg_URL/Services-Citizenship-Requirements-for-New-Zealand-Citizenship?OpenDocument

Heres the info. Basically the way I understand it is:- you need to be a NZ citizen yourself before you can sponsor anyone.

[AndyA]

This is an extract from the NZIS website it states 'Page Last Updated: 28 Jul 2005' so it might throw some light on the subject..

Sponsorship requirements
A sponsor must:

* be 17 years of age or over
* be in New Zealand
* be a New Zealand or Australian citizen or the holder of a current residence permit that is not subject to requirements under section 18A of the Immigration Act 1987
* have been a New Zealand or Australian citizen and/or the holder of a Residence Permit or a returning resident’s visa for at least three years immediately before the date their registration is received by the New Zealand Immigration Service
* in each of the three 12 month portions within that three-year period, have spent a total of 184 days or more in New Zealand.

A sponsor must undertake to ensure that financial support and accommodation is provided to you, if necessary, for at least your first 24 months as a resident in New Zealand. Sponsors who gained residence in New Zealand on the basis of their status as refugees are only obliged to accommodate you for the first 24 months of your residence (if necessary).

A sponsor aged 17 to 24 must satisfy us that they are able to meet the undertakings given on the sponsorship form.

Regards

Andy

[Debbie]

Thanks for the info Andy, yep as I thought 5 yrs to become a citizen but you can sponcer,(if there is any quota after 3). Just have to sell the idea to the parents now.

Debbie

[Avalon]

We will be sponsoring my parents and brother in, however, in the meantime, they hae sold up thir house, are about to sink s large chunck of money into a big house over here. Until we can sponsor them in, they are living in a static caravan for the british summer, and then spend the NZ summer living with us in the big house and chilling by the pool!

They have known about the emigration since before we arrived home from honeymoon (when we decided to do it), and by the time we had got back had already started researching a business visa (which they didnt get).

This is the way we now have to do it.

You dont even need a visa to do it (unless you wnat to stay for over 6 months at a time - you can stay for upto 9 months on a special tourist visa, but then have to stay away for 9 months).

Parents can even (if they can afford to do so) spend 6 months in NZ and then 6 months in OZ - cuts down the travel costs for them, and then its cheaper for you to pop and see them as well!

I wish you well. I can honestly say I would not have been able to do this if I knew parents couldnt come out here. I miss then so much. I would still have come out - but it would never have been a permanant move for me.

I hope that helps some.

Avalon

[zsj]

Hey Avalon,

Have you looked into whether there will be an issue if they don't have a permanent address in the UK when they apply to be sponsored by you?

My parents are looking at the same scenario, my father is based in SE Asia anyway so whats a 12 hour flight this way instead of that?! The only thing holding my mother back from selling the house in UK is the thought that it would jeopardise the application to not have a permanent abode there...that and what to do with all the furniture!

Thanks,

Sarah.

[baboonworld]

As far as I am aware the caravan would be the UK address - this is also the way my inlaws are thinking - caravan on the coast in Uk and a house in NZ until they can get there permanently. We have told them that before they sell though they should come on holiday to NZ first!

Also as they are on benefits due to disability they probably need to be careful about selling up and buying in NZ (as the UK gov wont like them spending their money instead of living on it i am sure!)

[Avalon]

Hey Avalon,

Have you looked into whether there will be an issue if they don't have a permanent address in the UK when they apply to be sponsored by you?


They still have a "permanant" Uk address - it just happens to be a caravan park. About 50% of the residents there do the same thing - though most have them have thier second homes in spain rather than NZ.

In fact , thier UK address is the one we are still using untill we settle into our new house.

They will be redirecting tihier post from there to here so thier address will not change.

HTH

[Avalon]

Also as they are on benefits due to disability they probably need to be careful about selling up and buying in NZ (as the UK gov wont like them spending their money instead of living on it i am sure!)

Mum and dad get tax credits and in thier case they will still be eligable for them even if they are here for 6 months (I know - crazy!)

CAB is the first port of call - they should be able to confirm how long you can stay out of the country and still claim.

My brother used to clain incapacity benefit, but he finally managed to get off it (took 6 months to persuade them not to pay it to him (!))