[Diny]

Hi folks

The time now is 4.50 a.m. ... I'm here at my pc 'cos I'm having yet another of those sleepless nights that seem to be happening more and more the nearer NZ gets.

I don't want to talk about the reasons we're emigrating, what we like/dislike about UK and NZ, how we'll feel homesick, be short of money yet morgage free ..... there's other threads for those discussions.

I just want to ask you ...... do you ever get totally bowled over by the sheer enormity of emigrating?

It's a wierd feeling !! I know emotions are magnified 10 fold during sleepless nights, but sometimes I have to step back and try and get my head around what we're doing.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not getting cold feet (far from it), but lying awake thinking how dramatically our lives are going to change over the coming months.

Simple things that would normally go un-noticed are highlighted. The light cast on the bedroom wall 'cos the house over the road have thier security light on all night, the familiar sound of the milkman making his 5 a.m delivery, stepping into my familiar shower in my familiar bathroom. The well rehearsed routine of getting the kids fed and off to school. The local roads you know like the back of your hand, familiar faces, family close at hand. The local supermarket with the same old check-out girls, the local corner shop, TV, radio, favourite pubs and restaurants.

It makes me smile knowing that very soon all of these things will be on the other side of the world and new shops, friends, TV, school runs etc will become part of our new NZ 'comfort zone' (I hope).

Everything is about to change. It's exciting and scary at the same time.

And it's one heck of a thing to get my head around in the middle of the night. But I can't wait.

Diny

[Jodie]

Hi Diny,

I know exactly how you feel. When you're planning to make the move and re-organising your whole life, you seem to get caught up with it all and don't REALLY think about what you are actually doing.

I can remember at one stage before we came out here, just stepping back one day randomnly and thinking to myself - god, what a HUGE, life-changing thing we're doing here! It's not like moving up the road - it's the other side of the world! Are we crazy? I'm pleased to say that now we're out here, I can certainly say that we weren't crazy to do it, and we're loving every minute of living in NZ.

I think it's kind of lucky that we do get caught up in the process of getting everything ready to move out here - otherwise if we had time to really think about the massive step we're taking, I'm sure there would have been many discussions about 'are we doing the right thing?' Like you, I never once thought that we shouldn't do it, but like you say, the sheer enormity of it all does hit you sometimes!

Good luck with it all. Not too long now.....

Jodie

[Diny]

Thanks for that Jodie.

I'm glad I'm not the only person thinking this way. Like I said, I'm not getting cold feet, I was just having a 'WOW' moment.

You are right - if we had too much time to actually stop and think I wonder how many of us would 'chicken out'? Dangerous ground - don't need to go there.

Diny

[justin.g.s]

11th hour jitters, I know all about that. House sold, bags in storage ect...

Funny thing is every night after 11:15 :cheers every thing gets a little fuzzy.

Checked my watch last night at :cheers :cheers :cheers
11:45, said to my wife,
Hey its -hic-- its heleven forshty shfive- hick-

cant wait to see what the twelfth- hic- looks like

[Rimbo]

I get the same thoughts. i am also awake v early these days but for other reasons as my situation is quite different. Its not so much a WOW factor as my emigration is not set in concrete as yours is. We seem to talk about it alot, amongst ourselves and with famly and friends although non of them have seen any results yet. they probably think we're just blowing smoke. As i've said before on other threads, i need a job offer before we can get to your stage.
i do however, look at my surroundings and think how i may never see, hear or smell those familiar sensations. Wigan used to be a thriving Mine and Mill town and some of our Mills still work. They used to call the workers by sounding one of the large whistles. imagine an air raid siren, its sounds very similar and loud as the sound carried accross the town. They still sound it every so often for visitors to' Mill, yesterday i could hear it blowing for ages and my thoughts turned to how i may never hear it again. It was a noise i grew up with and most of the time i don't even think about it. I suppose a farmer would miss the sound of that bloody cockeral at 5am every morning if he thought about it.
I suppose it the little things.

John

[Moorf]

Hey, I've been here over a week now and I am still not sleeping well... it's just a follow on from the "not sleeping" in the run up to leaving the UK!

I've been having terrible nightmares too - and last night Warren caught me sleep-walking - that's something I haven't done since I was 8yrs old :?

It certainly FEELS like the other side of the world too - much much more than I had anticipated - even when I lived in Malaysia it didn't feel too far from home, but here it does. Weird.

It's not the move that's keeping me awake at night, it's not being worried about what we have done - it's just getting used to new stuff and, for me, new house. I am really, REALLY fussy about... how do I say this... errr, ... living standards. I have a real problem with dirt, more particularly other peoples and I positively HATE smells!!! And I have to say (and I think Michelle has already made this point) the rental standards are terrible... even though we have a particularly nice one it is still.. dirty! I just don't understand why they have to be that way! I've spent the weekend scrubbing, bleaching, scrubbing again and have just been to the florist to get some stocks and lillies to try and make the place smell nicer... I'll leave the state of the kitchen and bathroom to your imaginations - it looked clean enough on first glance :?

Whenever I let my flat in the UK I get contract cleaners in between each letting period - here I doubt they even bother to hoover!!

*sniffing the flowers - ymmmmmmm"

Diny - there's the familiarity part of it too - as you said, "familiar shower" - other peoples just aren't the same and then I imagine all the other people who have been in there .... ewww!

Woz can't see why I am so paranoid - I'm not the tidiest person, it's just dirt!!

I know I'll get over it - I guess when it comes on top of the move and all the expense and stress that goes with it, it becomes more exagerrated. Once I've washed anything that will detach from furniture I'll feel better!!!

I think that this is the biggest hurdle yet - and to some it's probably a really minor, silly point to get stressed about - but when you moved from somewhere that you have cherished, renovated and personalised you do wonder if you will get that lifestyle back again...

I found that herbal Valerium helped alot geting me to sleep.


Moorf

[Carol]

the most mind blowing thing to me (from the other side of the coin) is all these people who I have met here whom....if it hadnt been for us coming here - I would never have known in a million years.

There are special wonderful friends that I have made here.....a few of them very very special.

I know that what I never had I would never have missed.
But I feel so much...... more grown up I think......for having come here and found them.


That sounds pathetic - but that is really waht we did. Being alone in a country ie without family or old friends to rely on - really makes you grow up FAST.

Thank goodness we came............ :yes :yes :yes



Carol

[Carol]

Helen....every house I have moved ino - the first thing I did was rip the toilet out and put a new one in.

And shower actually - now I come to think about it!


You are not alone......... ;)

[Moorf]

Whew! I am normal!! :P

Or we are both weird!! :?

That's the problem with renting, being stuck with the facilities.

[Diny]

Helen

So true what you say about other peoples dirt. I can't claim to be the tidiest prson on the planet but I don't like dirt. Bathroom facilities that have been used by hundreds of people then not cleaned peoperly - oh God that makes me creep !!!!!!

And kitchens too .... other peoples grease and crumbs. I was once given a 2nd hand cooker and the grill pan still had a sausage in it !!!! PUKE.

Carol ..... so right what you say about the friendship thing.

Diny

[Dave & Sandra]

Diny

Sounds like you are going to be my closest neighbour - can't wait until you get here so we can reminisce about actually having done it and how it feels. :laugh :wah :laugh :wah :laugh :wah :laugh That's how I feel right now - so up and down. Mainly up I have to say. Still exploring and feeling my feet and I'm used to living in foreign parts.

It is actually warmer outside the house at the moment. Had my piccies taken for my visa today - until we get invitation to apply for PR :hopeso

[Michelle and Richard]

I Think I'm having oh my god what have we done day, yesterday was yes we did it.

Didn't sleep well last night had virtual panic attack at not having pension, life insurance, critical illness cover, sickness cover etc so yes I like to insured but if s##happens it happens to me. Richard doesn't have a job, waiting for results of interview last week. I have a nursing job, yes its regular hours and it got us here but travel is my passion.

We are living in student type accomodation, I hate green plastic chairs in a living room, somehow its not right.

Moorf you are normal, I have scrubbed, cleaned and disinfected but its still not clean. We have this wood pannelling in the kitchen its sort of laminated floors for walls and I cannot clean it enough yuk yuk.

I think the enormity is really hitting me, is it cold feet or normal ????

Diny, I wish you well with the move, you get swept along with it all and to be honest I never really thought too much about what we were actually doing because I was just too busy. Jodie you are spot on. It never occured to me I would feel like this. I've got here back to a country I love and now I think "oh my God"

Concerns about our parents isn't helping in fact if I'm honest thats probably the route of all this. Amanda if you are reading this I know you know where I'm coming from.

Right off to bed now have lots to lie awake worrying about.
Oh and the heat from the heater (the one and only heater) is melting the plastic chair

Michelle

[Moorf]

I'm kinda dreading going to bed tonight - after my sleepwalking episode last night and a sleepless night afterwards I too have had a wobbly day - I really beat myself up about it too - I can't understand why I am questioning everything (mainly subconsciously whilst asleep if my dreams are anything to go by) ... :eek and I don't WANT to think like that.

My nightmares have all been family related too... I wake up feeling miserable... this isn't how it was meant to be! A good old walk normally shakes me up and when the sun (eventually) comes out it's a tonic.

Oh God Michelle - I think we have similar kitchens...!!!! The cabinets are like tongue and groove - I mean - what BETTER place for the grease and dirt of 100's of other tenants to lurk and grow?! Don't get me wrong - this is actually a GREAT place compared to the others we looked at!!! I shouldn't moan really - but it's nice to know I'm not the only one with a bleach fetish!!

Ok, granted, there is more to life than housework... but... :oops:

[Michelle and Richard]

Thats it tongue and groove, disgusting stuff, Ive scrubbed it with a nail brush, bleach everything and its still horrible.

Hey beat this we have a red marble (plastic) effect sink in the bathroom, thankfully the shower is newish. The bathroom window is those awful slatted windows that dont shut properly so in the morning its dead fly city.

Its the family thing, I worried about everything that might happen and despite getting loads of support from my parents my Mum is not good, I can tell by the e mails and the time they are being sent. Not sleepwalking but do talk in my sleep so expecting that to start any day now as it happens when I'm unsettled.

Like you say a walk helps, even did it in the pouring rain today just to get out.

Michelle

[Moorf]

Ohhh I think we have the same bathrooms too - except the shower here isn't new... we have plastic marble effect too (beige - so much more tasteful than red don't u think?!!!) :laugh and taps that are slowly being eaten away by soap scum.. that is, until I got my Mr Muscle Orange Power on it :nice1

I've tried to speak with my Mum on Messenger but every time it's just my dad - my mum has been ill in bed and I'm so worried but dad insists its nothing to worry about ("just a cold") - but if she's too ill to come to the pc to chat for a bit??? I speak to my bro, sis-in-law, mother-in-law and friends by MSN Messenger EVERY DAY - it's great - and we now have a webcam too so they can see us in our PJ's looking rough!! :laugh

[miep]

When we decided to go to NZ we pretty much upped and left as quickly as possible so I didn't really have time to worry too much then.
And one of the things I remember of the first couple of months here was how incredibly quickly you can start to feel at home in a new place.
The first few weeks feel like you're on holiday and then all of a sudden the butcher or the person in the dairy starts to recognise and chat to you, people in the street start nodding hello and you automatically brake for the speed camera. :booby
Kiwi's are so genuinely friendly and open, so easy to get to know that it makes up for all the little differences (like the lack of pensions, oops ;) )
I've found most people to be very helpful and have never been made to feel stupid because I didn't know something. Getting used to the accent helps a lot too. :laugh
Yes I still have the occasional worries and felt rather displaced living in the first 2 rental houses but is has never become a major issue. The rewards of living here more than make up for that.

[Michelle and Richard]

Are you on broadband ? wasn't sure if it would work on dial up. We have a web cam on our laptop but not metioned it to my dad not sure its a good idea.

How was your mum before you came away ? To us its a big adventure and exciting(despite the kitchens and bathrooms) but to them its like you have just disappeared. I lived a couple of houses away from my parents and saw them most days and now nothing.

Worry this is going to get a lot worse.

Oh never thought I would be envious of a beige plastic bathroom.

I know I'm going on a bit now and it sounds like I'm moaning, i'm not intending to, I absolutely love it here. Why does it have to be so far away though ? and why do they have tounge and groove in kitchens.

Michelle

[Moorf]

We'll be on broadband in 10 days, bit of a wait here in Chch to get it enabled... it does work on dial up but it's terribly slow and not worth the effort quite frankly.

Mum was fine when we left, and she is used to me not being around. I was at boarding school from age 10 - 18, then went on to college etc and only lived at home for 6 mths since then!!! I've never lived near them (I was in London then Scotland) so the family are very used to me being some distance away. However, Scotland is only a 7hr drive or a 1 hr flight, so I guess this move is really testing them. And they're not getting any younger .. mum is 56, dad 59. However, they travel alot themselves and they KNOW they will be over just as soon as they can... they have even talked about retiring here and since their month long stay here a few years back they are dead jealous that we moved.

I get the impression they think I am selfish, moving away from my bro and his young family (my 2 neices and I are v. close - they are young too so hard to explain why Aunty Helen keeps disappearing). My brothers wife will never leave their home town, v. family oriented and I suspect that she is the daughter my mum never had :? We aren't having kids and we are free-spirits who go where we want, when we want.

BUT - I can't live my life as they would want me to.... does that make me selfish? It sure does play on my mind.... I feel like a real cow and it is stopping me really REALLY feeling at home here (for the time being - I am hoping this will pass). I almost feel guilty for having done what I've always wanted to do, which is move to NZ!

I thought you were going to bed!!!!

Moorf

[Carol]

A couple of things guys...

I've been through every single one of the emotions you both are describing....
It gets...........different....... as time goes on.

Dont forget - one day - you will have your own place - and a beige plastic bathroom suite......like mine. ;)
I lasted 14 weeks in a rental and it is now a distant memory.
BIG difference when you get your own place and your own dirt.

Most important of all though........
This is not "Little England"
There is a very different culture here......... the one that attracted you to the place in the first place.

It extends however into everyday life.
Bathrooms
Kitchens
Heating
Insulation.


No-one are really all that bothered by them!

Keep it all in mind......

Guilt:

I think I could write a book called
"How to take on every last scrap of guilt and worry for the entire community of England"

You have done what you believe is right for you.
The only person who knows what that is - is you.
This is your life.
You make your choices.
And that....is what every parent wants for their kids.......

I should really start to listen to myself! ;) ;)

Last point.......THIS IS ALL PERFECTLY NORMAL!!!!!



love
Carol

[Moorf]

Good to know that these feelings are normal - I shall ride it out, no worries! And the glass of port (or was it a pint of port) that I just downed will surely help me sleep!!

And god forbid I should EVER want NZ to be Little England... !!

[anita]

Its great to know that i am not the only one having sleepless nights,but i am worrying about everything and my stomach feels like i am on a permanent big dipper. :?

Our house has not sold yet and has been on the market for 3 months and i am panicing because we are leaving on Jan 1st,flights booked.

What do i do about xmas with the children[aged 3 and 6]Our belongings will have gone over mid December.

I could go on and on ,I can't get myhead round the fact we are actully going and leaving all my family and close friends behind :wah :wah

[susanlin]

Hi all

Oh my word - I can so relate to you all. It is spooky reading all your comments 'cos that is exactly how I feel. As I said in my 'homesick' post, it is the lack of familiarity and comfort zone I miss - just being me as I was in my old life. Diny - you ARE doing a huge, enormous thing emigrating. It is one hell of an adventure and life change! It really doesn't hit you until you are here and then you get the wobblies!! Saying that though, I have to say I feel very proud of my bravery at making this huge change. I have had the courage to go for it - how many people talk about emigrating but do not do anything about it? My mother-in-law said to me recently that she always regretted not emigrating to Australia when she had the chance. This was over 40 years ago but she still thinks about that missed opportunity.

Re cleaning - I am so glad I am normal!! i feel just like you all about other people's filth. I was like a woman possessed cleaning both the rental and our new house. The thoughts of other people sat on my toilet; scrubbing themselves and shaving their bits and pieces in my shower - :eek :eek The rental was so filthy, I cried! :wah :wah Like you, Moorf, on first glance, I thought it was OK. It was only when I did my thorough unsual inspection of all the nooks and crannies I discovered it was a health hazard. The bath - well, couldn't have one 'cos at eye level, when sat in the bath was a thick rim of juicy black mold. I went berserk when I saw it and gave the landlrds a real earful - that was the start of a beautiful relationship...NOT!!!

[Michelle and Richard]

I did go to bed, sleep is a different matter.

I just feel so guilty, my parents are 66 and although they are coming out I get the impression they are not planning to do very much. Its very much a seeing me excercise. I just want them here permanently but as we all know thats a 3 year wait. Not sure how we are all going to live in the same house for 2 months though ! We love each other but both of us will admit that it just won't work. Will tackle it nearer the time.


Anita join the rollercoaster, I have been on it for a year and feel a bit sivck now so would like to get off just not sure how.

If NZ ever did become little England I would be on the first plane out of here. There is nothing about England that I miss or misssed last time we were here its jsut friends and family.

Michelle

[AliJax]

Guilty... is going to bed and thinking..."I could be doing this right now or is it the right time i should be doing.


Sleep is lost time when you are excited.


A collegue who last Xmas emigrated to Oz, said.....you are so excited now about New Zealand. What if its not as you'd expect by the time you get there?

My reply was short........and hes coming back to the UK. :cool

[upandrunning]

Panic attacks are entirely normal.

You made rational decision to come and if its so bad blighty lets anyone back!

You gotta just feel the fear and do it anyway!

Just keep thinking about the beaches, they are better than they look in the books and so theraputic.

When you have enough of sussing out kiwi life just get walking on that beach, the sun winks at you and tells you, yes it is all worth it.

[bbq]

.. mum is 56, dad 59.
Moorf

Blimey Moorf, I was at school same time as your mum and dad, & I am emigrating. Don't know what I am trying to say, it just struck me
:?
.......I am worried about leaving my dad, and MIL...

cheers

alex :P

[Lil]

I haven't got to the sleepless night stage yet, usually too knackered due to brain being in overdrive thinking about NZ stuff all day, where stuff is going, packing, EOI, job, house sale etc etc :laugh I have however noticed more regularly those thoughts of "that's the last time I will see /or do this/that or the other".

[Diny]

Moorf

Such young parents !!! My mum is 74 and dad is 80 .... gives me food for thought.

Diny

[Raeven]

Hi, all,

You've already said much of what there is to say on this subject... my feelings are substantially the same. I am very close to my parents and have mostly lived within striking distance of them. My father is 72, doesn't take great care of himself, and I already know that when they see us off at the airport (just try and stop them), when I hug him goodbye, I'll be thinking it might well be the last time I hug my dad. It tears me to bits. But then I think, well, yes, that may be.. but it's just as likely each time I hug him goodbye when we visit now, and I only live 2 1/2 hours away. If he were to suffer a heart attack and be gone in an instant -- a fate most of us would be happy to have in death, truth be told -- then whether I'm 2 1/2 hours away or 17 hours away makes no difference at all. And I know that he would be very unhappy with me if we didn't do something we thought was the right thing for us on his account. We've had all the discussions, and I know his views. He wants us to go and is in fact excited for us!! In a way, he's living his own dreams vicariously through us, and we've given him some things to look foward to in hearing our progress. Won't make it any easier at the airport, though.

With my stepmom, who's been my real mom for all practical purposes, it's a very hard thing, too. She's only 9 years my senior, so we kind of grew up together. She's been mother, sister, best friend all rolled up in one since I was 12 years old. And I know when my dad is gone, she'll be all on her own. I've always thought I'd be close by to help, and now all of a sudden, I won't. We've already agreed that she must be where I am, so we're actively working out ways to get her over to NZ when the time comes. I'm sick over the new 5-year PR rule because if I'd applied for PR when we first started talking all this over, I'd have it going into NZ and foreseeably would be able to bring her over after the 3-year period instead of the 5-year period. Made the decision based on the best information we had at the time, but it turned out to be the wrong one. I feel very guilty about it.

Everything else, while disorienting, won't hold a candle to this one issue: abandoning my parents. I'll miss friends, familiar places, foods and other things, but I'll get over all that. Wish I could figure out a way to get over the feeling of being so selfish with respect to my parents.

I guess all we can do is share with each other here in the hope that mutual support and getting it off our chests helps a bit. I am so grateful to have you all in making this life-altering journey.

All the best, Rae

[lindajax]

HI All,

Sleepless nights - NORMAL
Worries about family - NORMAL
I could go on.

It is a massive step people but WHY NOT - Just go for it!!!!!

I am the person organising our move and I have had many sleepless, worried and stressed nights - Kalms herbal tabs -- FABULOUS - Ask Alijax :laugh

Please keep in sight the reasons why - it WILL be hard at first YOU ALL already know this.
I know that won't stop you worrying etc but keep it tucked in the back of your minds and pull it out every now and again.

I do feel that your all missing a really important thing. we've all met here and I for one hope we'll meet again if not here in NZ.
We will all have a point of contact, nurture and support with each other - hopefully we'll form some lasting friendships and this is sooooo special to me at this moment. :nice1 :angel :nice1 :angel

enough of the gushy stuff

Cleaning - OMG I am a kitchen cleanliness fanatic - Wot Am I Gonna Do!!!!

First We'll be in a motel for 2 weeks ( paid for by my job)
After that we were gonna rent - maybe not!! Another employee has offered to put us up - its looking mega attractive now but we'll have to rent at some point OH DEAR!!!! :uhoh

TO ALL FORUM MEMBERS -
keep sight of your goals, live your dreams and try to enjoy each moment - life is short lets live it to the full!!!!

Love to all
linda
XX

[kamus]

Hi folks


I just want to ask you ...... do you ever get totally bowled over by the sheer enormity of emigrating?


Diny

You bet Diny! We're pretty new to this but I wake bolt upright in bed every so often, suddenly ejected from a blissful slumber s by some sleep borne virus-like thought related to NZ emigration, thoughts that alternate between bone freezing terror on the one hand and seemingly drug induced adrenaline charged excitement on the other.

It's the closest I ever expect to get to feeling like a person who suffers from bi-polar disease!

I can best describe it emoticonically:

:eek :laugh :eek :laugh :eek :laugh :eek :laugh and so on...

-Dave

[Diny]

You are so right Dave. The two extreme emotions that usually hit in the middle of the night.

Bone freezing terror on the one hand and seemingly drug induced adrenaline charged excitement on the other.

Yep - that just about says it all.

I also get location induced and situation induced emotions too. To explain, pushing trolly around ASDA the otherday, only buying the bare essentials (saving money and running down contents of freezer) when my eyes behold the wonderous sight of (barely) teenage mum, trolly overloaded with every high fat, high salt, high 'E' processed food stuff the shop had to offer - one 'babby' in the child seat, another 'babby' running riot sucking on a bottle of bright blue fizzy pop and another 'babby' due to make his/her entry into the world any day ...... and not a wedding ring in sight. But to be fair ... she didn't look old enough to get married. It was just about at that precise moment that I could have easily done a 'yee haa' cartwheel down the 'pasta and sauces' aisle. YESSSSS .... oh please make somebody buy my house .... we need to go NOW NOW NOW !!!!! Positive adrenalin gushed through every vein.

Then .......

I get home, unpack the shopping, phone rings, it's my old college mate, the buddy who set off around the world with me all those years ago, the same buddy who followed me up the aisle when I married PB, the very same girl who's suffering from a broken heart after just finding out that her husband has been having an affair for 18 months and has told her he's leaving her and the kids. Then I get gushing great big whalloping dollups of guilt that I'm so happy and she's so sad. Then I speak to my mum on the phone and how I can hear the sadness crackle in her voice as she asks for any NZ updates. Both mum and dad are very supportive, and like Rae says, they would be unhappy to know that our dreams were forgotten for the sake of them - but that doesn't mean their lives will have a big gaping cavity when we go. I then plunge into a "I'm not going' wobble.

You'll be pleased to know that these moods can swap the position of top dog anything up to 1000 times a day. At this precise moment I'm on a 'yeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaa' period. Even bought 2 new suitcases today and can't wait to pack them.

Oh yeah - and a generous serving of 41 year old hormones don't help the situation either. Why don't they? BECAUSE I SAID SO ... OK !!!!!!

Diny

[eric_amanda]

Hormones....they were removed when I had my last baby in February!! Probably explain why I seem to be dealing with this whole emigration thing so well.

We have been here for nearly 8 weeks now, the time has gone so quickly and I think the fact that I am so busy with our three young children (3 1/2, 18mths and 8mths) and finding a house etc that the emotions just don't seem to have made an appearance....yet! I have had a few restless nights like I had last night, but all in all I am sleeping really well, just probably so exhausted from running around after the children that there is no other option than sleep!!

Michelle, I am reading and I know where your coming from, its a guilt thing. It doesn't get me all upset it just surounds me in guilt.

Re Rentals. I think we fell really lucky with ours. It was found for us by Erics employers, it is fully furnished has all kitchen utensils, crockery etc and is only about 6 yrs old, so it really is quite clean. I must admit I was dreading finding another cheaper one had we not found a house to buy when our own stuff arrived.

We get the keys to our new house on Thursday!! we will then move in over the next week! Can't wait. I must admit we love this house we are renting we have fabulous views over Whangarei and it is quite private, but it is time to move on. Not sure how it will be living in the middle of nowhere though. Our new house is about 10 mins from town but out in the country, we even get sheep with the house!! Will spend the weekend cleaning!!

[Michelle and Richard]

By the time I got to page 3 of this post I was blubbering and I think thats what I needed to do. I was so b*****y excited about coming here and I guess I feel quilty about that too. If my parents had been utter pains about the whole thing it wouldn't be like this but they were so good, Rae I identified with you in fact all of the posts mentioned something I could identify with.

Anyway today we discovered that Richard will spend the next the next 9 months up to his neck in law books, spend about $4000 on material and exams and if he's lucky he will get a job about half as good as the one he had in the UK. Wey hey its an adventure.

Amanda , sheep yeah, all we have seen is cows since we arrived. That place sounds great

Right back to cleaning.

Shall we start a "how bad is my rent" thread if I knew how I would post a picture of my red plastic marble effect sink.

Michelle

[kamus]

Diny,
I meant to comment on your first post, where you mentioned your heightened senses particularly the sounds- it was a very evocative description. It's amazing how the commonplace can suddenly seem brand new during times like this- important transitions.

I'm sure other people besides me share you experience. We look around at the familiar and the realization that we may not be seeing/hearing/smelling these things for much longer has the effect of making it seem like we're experiencing these things for the first time.

Reading your post reminded me that I had been going through a lot of that lately, and I'm glad you brought it up.

thanks

-Dave

[Moorf]

Oh my - like Michelle I did have a little cry after reading all your posts - not so much tears of sorrow but of being "understood" - nodding at all your posts .. yes, that's how I feel and wow, they feel that TOO!

I went to a holistic therapy lady today - not for my current wobbles but to get my head on the straight and narrow after a few years of "stuff" including the suicide of my best friend in the whole world in Jan of this year. It suddenly struck me that it's not what OTHERS are doing that makes you feel selfish or whatever for moving - it's you - because my dear friend isn't around anymore to make me feel guilty and yet I so WISH she could be here to see the beauty of NZ and its people and I get upset that she can't be - its the same with my parents except they ARE around... did that make sense? Not sure it came out right....

The lady is very intuitive and I got v. good vibes from her. In some ways its not necessarily the treatments she provides, it's her understanding (she migrated here from Holland 18 yrs ago) that helps me. It's hard for those who haven't made the move to understand that even when obtaining your dream in life you can be sad! And you are ALLOWED to be - it isn't a bad thing - let it all out.

When you have enough of sussing out kiwi life just get walking on that beach, the sun winks at you and tells you, yes it is all worth it.

Upandrunning's advice was great - I take myself off down the beach and march along the sand looking FAR out to sea and it all becomes clear again... ;)

Not sure what I set out to say in this post, but I said it anyway... someone out there will know what I mean!

Moorf

[Diny]

Moorf

Yeah I (kinda) understand what you're saying - it's weird eh. Such emotions. I try to pride myself in the fact that I'm a tough cookie - but hey - sometimes the cookie crumbles!

I was so sad to read about your best mate, I can relate to that in a (reduced) way. A couple of years ago we lost some friends - all unrelated incidents - a very old friend of mine from junior school lost her very long battle with breast cancer, another old friend (Kiwi lad from Wanaka) also died after enduring years of bowl cancer. One of my girlfriends was knocked off her motorbike, she spent 2 weeks in hospital with her leg 'mashed' waiting for the metal rod to be made to measure which would help her walk again. She was inundated with visitors and she told me she felt like 'queen bee' being waited on hand and foot. She was bright, breezy and very excited about getting out of hospital and starting on the road to recovery. She died during the operation from a blood clot. Another very good friend of ours - a high ranking career policeman - suffered quite a bad stroke. He was given an office job, was told he had to stop driving, he had to sell his beloved Harley-Davidson and was then told that he had a high risk of suffering another stroke and the next one could leave him severely disabled. He couldn't hack the thought of that and took his own life a week before Christmas.

What a sombre posting this is .... but it just goes to show that you are right. We should be happy (and believe me I am) ... sadness is an emotion which should be kept in a little box under the bed. Open the box and let the sadness have abit of exercise, then put it back in, close the lid, tuck it away.

To end on an upbeat note ........ when I have one of those hyper-ventilating 'oh my God' moments, followed by several laps of the kitchen in headless chicken mode .... I'm always left wondering how many calories I've burnt up.

Diny

[Carol]

Moorf

To end on an upbeat note ........ when I have one of those hyper-ventilating 'oh my God' moments, followed by several laps of the kitchen in headless chicken mode .... I'm always left wondering how many calories I've burnt up.

Diny


:laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh

I can SO associate with that Diny!!
:nice1

[susanlin]

......obtaining your dream in life you can be sad! And you are ALLOWED to be - it isn't a bad thing - let it all out.

Moorf

This quote of your last posting certainly struck a chord with me. I have felt so guilty being sad and homesick all the time, thinking I was so ungrateful when I have achieved my dream in coming to live in NZ. So many people want to be here - (don't you forum members! ) - why on earth am I complaining and feeling so miserable. But I am sad - I miss my family and friends more than I could have imagined and it is ruining my life!! :wah
I have got to get a grip or I will have to return to UK - simple as....

[Michelle and Richard]

Thanks all I'M NORMAL yaehhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry thought I was going mad.

Moorf, Diny it makes you realise just how rough life can be, thats terrible for all concerned.

Had the walk, rangitoto looked lovely and I'm damn glad to be here. Now will somebody PLEASE give my lovely husband a job, he is still waiting to find out about his interview last week. Despite being recommended its the damn psych profile again. Glad they dont test me I'd never pass

Cheers all you have got me through a tough day.

Michelle

[evelien]

Hi all
I'm so glad to read that I am not the only one suffering from emotional highs and dips. Yesterday we had the accountant over for the tax papers. We told him of our plans. He was very very very negative. Named at least 15 family members and acquaintances that had emigrated to New Zealand and Australia, AND ALL CAME BACK. Reasons: people in Holland friendlier (???), economical situation, family ties, bad payment and bad jobs in the other countries, desillusions and a hard time trying to get a life once back in Holland (where everything is very expensive, just as in UK). Bad situation in New Zealand regarding employee's rights, benefits, retirement pensions, health care insurance.

At this moment I have a huge dip. I am seriously doubting whether the decision to emigrate is indeed a good idea. Why should we go? We earn loads of money here and can afford to visit New Zealand (or where-ever) each year and do whatever we like the rest of the year. There is no reason to go: both a good and well-payed jobs with excellent prospects for the future. Good retirement pension and enough money to enjoy retirement.

Holland isn't much fun these days. Social security is being destroyed, benefits are in danger and so on and so on. The country is crowded, intolerant and becoming increasingly criminal.

New Zealand has it all, or so I thought. Clean air, nice people, healthy economy, a great adventure (in the one life I get). All the things and a thousand more, you all have thought about.

And still, even picturing New Zealand and my former ideals doesn't help getting the old good feeling back. I now only see huge dangers, financial fiasco, social disaster, unemployement, unhappy kids, kids back to Holland and me stuck in New Zealand, unable to afford to return and be with kids, unhappy self despite beaches and so on...

I am so :( :wah :( :wah unhappy ... don't know what to do ...

[Nicola]

What a brilliant thread thank you for starting it off Diny. It is much better at making me stop and think than some of the very negative post I have read on other emigration sites.

We are still keen to go, but feel so forewarned that I think we will be able to cope better when we get there. The feeling that you all have the same "Oh my God" thoughts is great (not great you have it just great that there are others out there).

As for the guilt thing, both my Mum and Peter's Mum have gone down with serious illnesses in the last couple of weeks. We feel so guilty that next year we will be leaving them. Neither of them would want us to not go and they are both very keen for us to move to NZ, but the guilt is horrendous.

Diny, you have struck my guilt chord here. "...... and not a wedding ring in sight." I have three kids and no wedding ring in sight, but we have been living together very very happily for 10 years. I only just survived one destructive marriage and do not want to ruin our brilliant relationship by getting married again. Although every one seems to think that we are married, they constantly refer to Peter as my husband. But "husband" has such a very very negative vibe for me. So feel guilty sometimes for not being married. But I do know what you mean, I have a few friends who have not been able to have kids, but would make brilliant parents, and then you look at some parents with loads of kids they do not really want, makes me sad. :(

Sorry meant to be brief and have rambled yet again.

[Diny]

Oh Lord Nicola....... I just read back what I wrote about the wedding ring. Please let me explain. I wasn't trying to belittle people who have families without being married - I've got lots of mates who have kids 'out of wedlock' ...... really and truely what difference does a piece of paper make to whether you are good parents and a happy family.

I made the wedding ring comment in connection with the unmarried teenage mother ..... the sort who get a brand new pram for each child, free nappies, free cot, free formula, free everything .... and then they're given a free flat to put it all in. The sort that know every handout they are 'entitled' to - the sort that know by getting married a huge chunk of their handouts will be taken away.

I hope I haven't offended you or anybody else with my comments, believe me, that is the last thing I would do.

:cheers

Diny

[Nicola]

No worries Diny :nice1

I am not offened at all and understand the comment totally. You just pushed my guilt button, I get these totally stupid irrational worries sometimes about us not being married. For example will it effect our EOI application etc. As I said we have been together for ages.

Once when we were having a weekend away B&B no kids, I overheard a comment from another guest about us. I went all stupid and straight laced and even considered wearing a wedding ring. How silly is that. Most of the time I am sensible, but every so often :eek .

So no worries you do not need to explain your comment. It was me that was feeling guilty. I think guilt should be my middle name sometimes.

Cheers

[Diny]

Well you needn't worry about it having any bearing on yor NZIS application. Partner is defined as spouse or defacto, and either male/female or same sex relationships.

Very liberal of them eh.

Diny :nice1

[eric_amanda]

Oh boy what have you lot started!

I just had my second sleepless night! I think this is probably due to my apprehention for the coming week, however right now it does not make me feel any better.

Tomorrow (Thurs) Eric is flying off to Aus on a course for work. By lunchtime tomorrow I will have the keys in my hand for our new house and will only have the children to celebrate with. I then have till Monday to get all the cleaning etc done before Crown deliver our shipment. Luckily we do have some English friends who are planning on helping with the delivery, however Eric will not be back until late Monday night and I think it is making me a litle sad that he is missing out on this final part of our advenure. The final move from rental will take place Wed next week when he finally gets a day off.

I guess it is all just playing on my mind and spending five days juggling children on my own is not an experience I am looking forward to.

Just thought I'd share.

Amanda

[Diny]

I know how you feel Amanada. My hubby is nearly always away for important events (especially moving house).... it does take the shine off it a little I agree.

However, look how far you've come already girlie - this final step will be a doddle for you.

All the best.

Diny

[funkstar deluxe]

No nightmares, but lastnight I was restless as hell worrying whether I will remember to do everything/take everything/keep the secret. I dreamed some job interviews and some other weird stuff.

You guys sound like you have alot more to stress about. We dont have a house to sell and we dont have any kids as yet . Those are the biggest things in your life so its only natural to stress.

Hope it passes soon

Phil

[lindajax]

Nightmares tell me about it :(

Had a hoffic nightmare yesterday morning ( I work nights - hence the bizarre times of my posts) it was a real humdinger in the scarey, gory and bizarre stakes - not related to emigrating but you know how stress is!!
needed to share that
love linda
x
ps night off and i'm gonna get hammered on red wine - I WILL NOT HAVE ONE TONIGHT!!!!!!

[eric_amanda]

Hormones are kicking in now.

After yet another sleepless night, related mainly to baby disturbances, Eric missed his flight from Whangarei to Auckland. I am still to figure out exactly what has happened to the clock, however it did not work and read 2am at 7am this morning. I have just spent the last 3 hours panicing and phoning air new zealand while Eric drove to Auckland in an attempt to get on his flight to Brisbane. He has just called to say he made it...just.

As if that was not enough stress for the day, I am now left on my own until Monday night. Today we get the keys for our new house and I have no inclination at all to start moving.

To make matters worse it is raining so hard for the third day this week I feel like lighting the fire and hibinating for the weekend...however I must remember the children!

My head is saying to me OMG what are you doing Amanda, you should have stayed in the UK, at least you had family at the end of the phone who could help out where needed. Here in NZ right now I am feeling very lonely and for the first time Homesick.

I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, however that is still 24 hours away and the carpets of the new house are being cleaned this afternoon. Just need to find that fighting spiritand get on with things. I CAN do it and I WILL have the new house sparkling and ready for us to move into when Eric returns.

Amanda

[Moorf]

Guys, I am gutted - I just had 2 clear days of "normality" and good sleep and then BANG... last night that awful wobble hit again and I went to bed early to try and shake it... but no, nightmares all night and this morning I just couldn't get up - just wanted to put my head back under the pillow and wake up in my UK house.

Didn't help that the rain was pelting down and it was freezing. The other day we had this place "toasty" - didn't last long - turned heaters off for a couple of hours and WHAM - back to freezing :no

I think it's the cold that is getting me down (doesn't seem to rain much here so I guess that's a bonus)... it's not so much a "biting wind".. more a "RAVENOUS wind" - even the locals are complaining!!!

We're going to go shopping for clothes so hopefully that will cheer me up (unless the shops here are like UK and only stock waif sizes :? )

[Diny]

Moorf - retail therapy always does the trick for me. Hope the wobbles pass as suddenly as they came. If anybody can fight them off you can !!

NZ shops are not too bad on sizes for the more 'comely wench', but there again it all depends on what kind of gear you like to get yourself decked out in. Me - I'm very much a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. I will wear the occasional girlie pattern and colour to prove my gender but I'm definately not a designer label junkie. Have you tried Ballantines? Can err slightly towards the womens institute/PTA market but I've picked up a couple of nice casual tops from there in the past.

Amanda - your comment about something happening to your clock reminded me of something my friend said the other day. In our kitchen we have a MASSIVE wall clock (nearly 3ft across). She said 'you won't be taking your clock will you'? Oh yeah I said - have clock will travel. She replied ... "what's the point - NZ are a few hours ahead of us"

You go figure.

Diny

[Moorf]

:laugh :laugh @ clock... nice one.

I'm a jeans and fleece gal myself (I would say t-shirt but it's too cold :? ) - there I go moaning about the weather again!!

I just have to remember to do the comfort eating AFTER I've struggled into the clothes!

Went to Riccarton Mall the other day - it's fairly big - the lady in our bank said it was the biggest mall in the southern hemisphere... I think not! But it's getting bigger and loads more building going on out there...

What I love is that I can get sushi (yummmmmmmmmmmm) in every Mall and feel good as I watch people gulp down KFC's ;)

Followed by a Brain Wave (NZ Naturals fruit drinks in food court) I can leave the mall feeling quite angelic.... :angel

[Hannah-NL]

Oh yes, I can relate to all this, sorry for digging up old threads, but this one seems very important to me all of a sudden.
Last night I was having a horrible idea about the kids not getting used to english and new schools (we're dutch).
In the daylight it didnt seem that bad at all, but last night I was getting serious concerns.
Well it was in the middle of the night after all!!!
Serves me right for napping during the day and then not being able to fall asleep during the night.
Having a waking little nightmare (pony?) is the result :uhoh

[veronica]

Things always seem to go round and round in your head at night, the problem getting bigger and bigger with every circuit. The only way I have found to avoid this is the keep a pen and paper by the bed and as soon as I wake up I write down anything I must remember to do if thats the thought thats jolted me awake, or if its just general waking up cos of problems I sit straight up and grab a book and read that or do a crossword to blank my mind. At least that way it blocks the thoughts and I have a chance of going back to sleep after a while and both are things I enjoy doing. If I dont stop the thinking I've learnt from experience that there is no way I will get back to sleep at all. A friend used to just get up and go and do a job she had been putting off, that used to work for her. The best of it is that once you are up and analyse what it was thats kept you awake in daylight it seems so trivial that you wonder at your commonsense thinking it at all.