[matt]

Hi everybody,could I ask if anybody has had second thoughts about emigrating, ie worried about leaving family,friends,home ,job and so on.Where in the middle of all our paper work that needs doing before we put our EOI in.Don't get me wrong my family and me really want to go but always at the back of my mind the big question hangs there(what if)So could you please let me know the people who have already moved out and those that are in the process of doing so if you had theses doubts too.Thankyou

[jubjub]

I think everybody has these thoughts at some point during the process, even if its as late as getting on the plane!

It hit us when we both resigned from our jobs, and we started to burn bridges!

Good luck.

[Timbo]

To be totally honest Matt, barely a week passes without some doubts creeping into my mind. I think just about everyone who has ever embarked on a big life changing move would have those feelings now and then.
If you dont give it go, you will never ever know. That has been my motto for a fair while now.
Thats actually not true. I just made it up. ;)

[David with a dream]

Hi Matt, we really went through the mill. I remember the day we agreed to sell our home we both sat in the lounge in a state of shock. It will come and go (the feelings that is) but if you are gonna do it do it my friend because if you do not you will always think 'what if'.
Good luck my friend you are a brave man and just you remember that.......David

[Bubbles]

Thats actually not true. I just made it up. ;)

:laugh :laugh
Timbo, stop it.

As the good man said Matt in the first part of his post, you'll never know until you try. Nothing worse than sitting wondering " If only " in a few years time.
What have you got to lose ?

John

[Debbie]

WE are just waiting on our ITA interview and about to put our lovley house on the market and I can honestly say that not a day goes by without the phrase "what the bl....y hell are we doing" being uttered. And yet we continue WHY?

I posted the same respone and question a while ago else where on the forum (but cant seem to find it now). but since posting it the first time I have had a chance to think why.

The fear of spending the rest of our lives not knowing is worse than the fear of going.

I think it's a bit like "the person who remains calm whilst all those around them are flapping, isn't understanding the enormity of the situation". The nerves are good, it's what makes you question and check out what you are doing which can only lead to a better informed you.
All the best with the grey hairs. Debbie

[Singel]

Everyone gone through the same situation. We do not know this forum at that time, the last week before leaving, we could not sleep and eat well - really, really nervous - keep asking each other "why do we uproot and leave our comfort zone?" "Why take such a risk?" These thoughts keep popping up days and nights and it just stop when we get on to the plane - Right, now, no turning back.

Best of Luck, Matt :nice1

[Diny]

I think if you don't have these worries then you just ain't normal !!!!!!!

Of course we all question what we're doing. I have absolutely no idea why we uprooted our comfort zone (well I do - but you know what I mean).

Like Debbie says, these constant questions that keep popping into your head and the nerves are good - they really do make you check, double check and then check again. And I have to agree ..... the fact that you're giving it a go (who knows if you'll stay or go) has to be a million times better than sitting there in 10 years time thinking 'what if'.

We're on this mortal coil for a good time - not a long time !!!!

Good luck - keep us posted.

Diny

[Miffy]

We often had "oh my god what are we doing" and still sometimes have "OH MY GOD what have we DONE!" moments.

Before we left Ian kept saying "I've created a monster, it dosen't eat, it doesen't sleep it just keeps on going!"

Second thoughts loads of them (third forth 100th too) especally as we had never even been to NZ before we landed with all our furniture on the hight seas.

I felt it was a "leap of faith" and deep down always knew it was what we / I wanted and would turn out okay :D

so I would say you sound perfectly normal to me :cheers

[Anita & Marco]

It seems we all get our share of nerves during this process. And we will definitely be nervous at the end, just before leaving. But all in all not second thoughts about the move - not at all. We made the decision not in one night and after that we just went through it - so we had a lot of time to think things over and are convinced we are doing the right thing for us at this time in our lives.

More worried about a lot of practical things at the moment.

The only downside is the last time at the airport in Holland - that's really the only big thing that worries me - all the others are things that you will come through.

For us was the sale of our house not a shock, but just one of those things that needs to be done when you want to try to live your dream - the same applies for a lot of other issues.

But in the end, we are all different and have different experiences.

All the best,
Anita

[Carol]

:laugh :laugh



What have you got to lose ?

John

a LOT of money!



;) :nice1

[Smiler]

We're all normal, we all have these doubts, we're all different and deal with them differently.

As one example, if I think back say, when we moved house in the UK I still had doubts about it. It wasn't the huge move we've just done but it was relative at the time. I still worried about it.

Good luck.

Deborah

[kiwidebs]

I'm moving 'home' to NZ after 9 years in the UK - with English hubby and two kids in tow - and I have my doubt days where I wonder just why we're doing it!! I think any big move is going to lead to some of those sort of questions. As the others have said, it's human nature to worry about things.

Hope this helps
Debs

[Alex]

Hi Matt,

Echo the previous posts, I go from days where I think it's the best idea we ever had, to just OK, to stomach churning uncertainty and "Al, you've really got this wrong". I have days were I can see no benefit in us going - reading stuff about money and housing. Whereas there are days when I think it's gonna be just fine.

It's the old human condition I'm afraid. Or matrix philosophy - do you take the blue pill, which symbolises continuity and your comfort zone: commuting to work every day, or brushing your teeth? Or do you take the red pill, which is an unknown quantity and which may or may not lead to the answers you want?

I know there are aspects of NZ that I will truly love, I know there are aspects of NZ that I will truly detest. How it all plays out...who knows.

If you stay here, you'll ask, "what if"; if you go there and come back, you'll say, "at least we tried"; if you go there and stay, well, who knows what you'll say, maybe, "she'll be right"?!

[willsken]

I agree with what Alex said. I have huge doubts, especially since joining this forum and hearing the comments about the housing and money etc. BUT all I have to do is get into my car and I hate the busy roads, go to my local shopping arcades and look at the people around me (sweeping statement I know but you haven't seen my local shopping centre!!!!!!!! :uhoh )

In my heart I know I want to go. I have a lovely home, a very good job and loads of lovely family and friends and this doesn't make me happy, because I look at my 2 lovely little boys and think about the future that awaits them. NOT GOOD :no

I moved away from all the above 8 years ago from Taunton to South Wales. I had never been away from family and friends before and I was so scared. It took me a couple of years to establish myself properly, but now I have it all again. I know that making the move to NZ will be even harder that my last move, but I easily survived that so I know I can do it again.

Sorry that was a real rant, but I'm in a positive mood today :D

[Jo and Andy]

NOt a day goes by when I don't wonder but want to go for it. Hope it turns out fine and I cope with it all. As said before there will be things I like and things I don't.

A lot of the things I worry about. Having to find a new house, new job, new school for Rhiannon, friends etc. Not knowing where anything is etc. Would happen if I moved in the UK. I know it is going to be different from that but many of the things would have to have been faced anyway.

Just this time in a new country. Hopefully it is everything ventured and everything gained.

[holly]

My "wobbliest" moment was my son's last day at their UK school, at which they were incredibly happy, popular and comfortable. The burden of the enormity of the decision felt so huge at that point. There were we, effectively playing God with their future, deciding on the blue pill over the red pill. I felt sick.
So glad we stuck to our guns and made that "leap of faith".
1 year in NZ now and we ALL know that it was the right decision for US!!

[Moorf]

If you feel sick at the thought of doing it, just imagine how sick you'll feel if you never try! Even after a year here we both discuss where we're at, where we're going and regularly make sure we're both happy with the move and our current life. The whole process takes its toll on you financially, physically and emotionally, be prepared for the rollercoaster ride, buckle up and deal with each twist and turn as it comes, and you'll be just fine.

[StevieD]

Very interesting thread. The whole process is one of decisions. Have I/we made the right decision? Are we doing the right thing? What if we don't like it? There are probably hundreds if not thousands more questions that we could ask ourselves.
As others have said, we will never know unless we try. I know of numerous people who have tried it and not liked it, came back, and gone straight back again because what they craved for i.e "home", family and friends, was not what they imagined it to be, as it it likely to be for people going to NZ. We just will not know until we have taken the plunge.
I was told a story yesterday by a friend who is going to Oz next year. Her cousin lived out there for 12 years, came back home, and you guessed it, wants to go back now. She said it was the biggest mistake she ever made coming back to the UK. She was living a good life but felt the need to return. But now Oz won't take her back. She is considered too old and not qualified enough for the job she was doing down under. Her initial acceptance all those years ago was based on her doing exam updates, a bit like NZQA acceptance. She never did this, thought she wouldn't really need to once she had her feet under the table. It came back to haunt her. Apparently she is really depressed and upset about it now.
Quoting Carol, she said all you had to lose was lots of money. What money I may "make" off the house sale is all vouched for! That isn't to say that we won't be going there with any money. But a big deposit on a house and a car will seriously dent what we will have. So we will almost be back to the same situation we are living in now, mortgage, but minus the debts we have accrued over the years. And unless you are extremely fortunate, how much wealth does the average person in the UK have. It is all tied up in mortgages (bank money anyway) loans etc. There are exceptions of course, but the average working person doesn't really have much. Money is nothing compared to family and true friends, so to rephrase Carol's comment, that's what I'd say we will lose the most of.
So, we all have our doubts, questions, problems. But we won't know unless we try. Put it down to one big life experience, like an extended holiday. If it works all the better.

Good luck to ALL in this venture.

Steve :cheers

[ShakerMike]

I have doubts - I have no idea what it's going to be like, I want my wife and kids to settle, I know it's going to be hard at first. I know I'll miss my football, and black puddings! I guess thoughts of family will creep in now and again, though we aren't that close really.

The only thing I don't have a doubt about is that I need to try it. To try and dislike it or make a mistake is acceptable. To not even try it, having gone this far, will haunt me to my grave.

Matt, you never called mate. If you and your wife want to get together this weekend for a chat with me and mine, let me know - I won't have the answers but I'll happily give you my reasons

[katandbob]

Very interesting thread. The whole process is one of decisions. Have I/we made the right decision? Are we doing the right thing? What if we don't like it? There are probably hundreds if not thousands more questions that we could ask ourselves.
As others have said, we will never know unless we try.

That isn't to say that we won't be going there with any money. But a big deposit on a house and a car will seriously dent what we will have. So we will almost be back to the same situation we are living in now, mortgage, but minus the debts we have accrued over the years. And unless you are extremely fortunate, how much wealth does the average person in the UK have. It is all tied up in mortgages (bank money anyway) loans etc. There are exceptions of course, but the average working person doesn't really have much. Money is nothing compared to family and true friends, so to rephrase Carol's comment, that's what I'd say we will lose the most of.
So, we all have our doubts, questions, problems. But we won't know unless we try. Put it down to one big life experience, like an extended holiday. If it works all the better.

Good luck to ALL in this venture.

Steve :cheers

You must have read our minds! I will be debt free as of the 21st :D and I never want to be in this situation again - yep we will probably have a small mortgage but the UK's obsession with keeping up with the joneses I want to leave behind!

you only live once - so why not LIVE a little is my new motto! :D

[Diny]

Believe me - being debt free is the most fantastic feeling in the world. Since selling up at home and moving here (apart from our mortgage) we don't owe a cent/penny to anybody.

Actually - that's a lie - the electricity bill finally came yesterday, but I'm paying that this morning.

Keep on questioning and worrying - it's good for you !!!!!!!

Diny

[real_sunfire]

My fiance and I were talking about this subject a week or so back. One of the biggest challenges I've faced in in life is moving around the UK alot as I've switched jobs . What generally happens is I get sick of the job I'm doing and then go wherever I can get a job. In my next stage of life a few months I moved in my fiance in city. Things are going very well so I'm selling my house in Reading, another scary step. Despite all my doubts along the way I've usually made the right choices, anything I can put down to life experience.

New Zealand has been in my imagination since I was a child. I've visited twice and am sure it is the place to I want to be. I know there is a chance a year or two down the line I could return to the UK with my tail between my legs but at least I will be able to say I gave it my best shot.

I respect both the people who made the decision to move the NZ, and the courage of those who have returned from NZ knowing that it wasn't the right place for them.

Anyhow roll on September 2007 when I hope to be out there.

Good luck you all! *:)

Rgds.,
Nick.

[Hannah]

We're not emigrating as such - coming out for six months to see if it works, house rented etc. Just 19 days to go!!

However, i've found the build up a bit like being pregnant!!

The initial excitement promptly followed by the "Oh my God" when we first bought tickets. Gradual worries, bigger worries, lots of looking out for negative posts on this forum to justify why we shouldn't go. Considering refund on tickets - "oh no we lose £800 - can't do that". Then "How about we go for 4 weeks and just do Christmas, etc etc.". The regular "we can't afford this, how can we spend our savings on this, we'll be broke, we must be mad, blah blah blah". A bit of "It's your fault, not it's not it mine". And then...

Finally, just acceptance. We've booked tickets, we're going. What the hell. Whahey, what fun it will be.

Now I can't wait.....

Now...still waiting, just want to get there. Fed up of hanging around and picking our life back up again.

And we've been waiting nine months now. Definitely feels like a new life ready to be delivered!!!!!

hannah

[selchie]

We too have our panic moments, but they haven't yet been very strong. We've got other things going on which are much more permanent, so a possible "working holiday" to NZ seems so easy. I'm sure we'll be more panicked when/if we get PR, but we're trying to trust that if it is the right thing for us, that it will happen.

[CricketLover]

Nerves?? Yes!
Our ITA has been in the London office 4 weeks now. We have been reading on the forums that some are getting interviews at 6 or 8 weeks. That makes me nervous.

I don't think either of us (hubby and I) have second thoughts, it's just general worries.
My job here in the US is a real torture right now, would love to just chuck it and jump on a plane to NZ. We have a timeline we'd like to stick to, in order to have all arrangements in place. The idea of chucking my job and heading off to NZ early would only mean more worries and stress!

I love Debbie's post yesterday...worries and nerves are good.
Regret is the worst~ We'll never have to ask ourselves "what if?"

Life is what you make it!!


Love the forums!

[Singel]

We have actually taking the biggest gamble in our life - NO JOB OFFER AND NO PR, just wind up everything and go. This is the cause of our nervousness and worries before we left for NZ.
When we arrived in NZ, we have been thinking postively that we will succeed with our emigration, maybe this is how we are self-motivated.