[Marie P]

This is an Email from a couple of friends we said goodbye to at the weekend ,they have lived abroad in Oman and Australia .

Remember some little rules that apply to you both:

1: Remember that this was a joint decision. If
problems occur (and they will) no pointing the finger
and saying it was your idea to come here.

2: Spend more time in the initial period as a couple -
you'll need the mutual support from each other as your
stress levels go through the roof.

3: Keep the flight money home and 6 months rent in the
UK set aside at all times. You never know what might
happen that could cause you to want to come back.
Especially these days with global terrorism.

4: Be realistic - it will take 2 YEARS before you have
decent jobs, feel at home and have all the boxes
unpacked. Don't expect to have all this sorted in the
first 6 months - it will only add to the stress
levels.

5: Be open minded. Meet anyone and everyone you can
irrespective of origin, background, religion or
anything especially not just UK expats. You'll find
the friends you make may not be anything like the
friends you had back at home or expected to make.

We really wish you all well. It will be a life
changing experience and by sticking together as a
couple and a family it'll be one you'll really enjoy.

Love to you all and hope to see you in the not too distant
future!

[StevieD]

Aaaahh isn't that nice? But very good advice nonetheless. :)

Steve

[Diny]

Good letter - sound advice. I had to smile when I read item number 2. .......

2: Spend more time in the initial period as a couple -
you'll need the mutual support from each other as your
stress levels go through the roof.


I think I'll show this to Mark and remind him that flying off to Egypt for a month after we'd been here 3 weeks was a tad stressful for those of us 'left behind'.

Looking forward to seeing you Marie & Co - not long now.

Diny

[zensamurai]

Hi Diny,

" Change the things you cannot accept and accept the things you cannot change - and have the wisdom to know which is which."

Did you know it´s from a german ?

Christoph Oettinger (1702 - 1782)

zensamurai

[Smiler]

Good advice Marie.

I'm standing on my fingers at the moment. It's very hard when you feel like a spare part not to 'point and blame'.

D x

[sarahc]

Great advice - it is extremely stressful moving to the other side of the planet - I think we spent the first few weeks in a blur but I do remember the strain on the relationship - 18 months down the line I think the relationship is probably stronger as a result. Fore warned is fore armed - I had definately underestimated this aspect of the move. We had planned all the boring practical bits - how much cash we needed, sorting out short term rental & then longer term, buying a car, registering with recruitment agencies etc. It is very easy to forget that you also need to take into account the emotional strains of the move.

Good luck with your move! ( & don't be disheartened by my ramblings - 18 months down the line our relationship is rock solid - just not sure if oz is for us - the move out of the uk was definately right!)

Sarah.

[jonSE]

Marie

What excellent advice.

It isn't easy emigrating even when the process is relatively easy and perhaps devoid of some of the worries.

We have found it quite stressful even though we had parental "approval" , no real financial concerns, no children to be disturbed by the move etc.

Just moving to somewhere new with new friends to be made , no ready made support network (not that we "needed" support) is difficult. Add in those things we did not have to suffer and it would be very hard.